Chapter Twenty-Three: Elizabeth

Mrs. Harper refused to let me help her cook dinner, saying I could begin helping in the morning. When he came in, Mr. Harper was as gracious as his wife and welcomed me to their home. Their two sons didn't seem to know how to speak to me, which resulted in a great deal of teasing from their parents.

The crow of a rooster roused me shortly after dawn. I could hear the rest of the family already moving around the downstairs of the house. As I stretched my arms over my head, I couldn't believe how rested I felt. I'd fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and hadn't woken up once.

And now I had a day of getting to know Noah. When would he arrive? What would we do when he came?

I'd thought I was prepared for life in the west. The youngest Harper son had stared at me in astonishment when I had admitted I didn't know how to ride or drive a wagon. Something I hadn't thought to ask my cousins to teach me. And how could I have overlooked it? I knew Noah's land was outside of town. Walking just wouldn't be enough as it had been back home.

I pushed the thought from my mind. My hosts were already up and it would be rude of me to remain in bed. By the light of the rising sun, I dressed quickly. It was a relief not to put on my travel stained black gown. Would anyone judge me for the grey dress I put on? It had been barely a month since Mother...

Tears pricked my eyes at the sudden reminder. Breathing out, I closed my eyes and tried to shove my grief away. I had kept it at bay this long and I refused to allow it to encroach on me today.

It took a minute before I felt able to climb down the ladder to the kitchen. It had been generous of the Harper boys to give up their sleeping space for me. Mrs. Harper had assured me that her boys didn't mind sleeping in the barn and that they'd done it many times over the years, but that seemed a strange thing to enjoy.

"Good morning," Mrs. Harper greeted. She stood at the table, scrambling some eggs. I could smell coffee in the air. "Do you mind mixing up some flapjacks for me while I get these eggs done?"

"I'll be happy to." The ingredients were already on the table, and it felt natural to get to work next to her. "Mornings start early here."

"Not always," Mrs. Harper said with a laugh. "Come winter, this hour will be pitch black out. There's no point in rising so early to try to do chores when you'd only have to light a lantern to accomplish anything. Winter is when we sleep in and rest up for the rest of the year."

"I hadn't thought of that. It seems I have a lot to learn." More than I'd thought. My confidence that I could make this work had been shaken by the realization. Would Noah become frustrated with how much I didn't know?

"All of us have something we would do well to learn," the other woman told me. "Even when we think we're pretty good at something, there is always something to learn so that we can be better."

Maybe she meant that to be reassuring, but it only worried me more. Had I made a mistake in thinking I could learn enough to be an equal partner to Noah? Would I only be a hinderance since I would always be a step behind?

Mrs. Harper didn't seem to notice my abstract state of mind. She kept up a steady stream of commentary of all the things she'd had to learn when she was first married.

The sun was just over the horizon when the men of the family came in. Mrs. Harper and I had the table set and breakfast ready. After a sincere blessing, everyone dug into the hearty meal of scrambled eggs, bacon and flapjacks.

Once all the dishes had been emptied completely, the family split up to go about their tasks. Mr. Harper and his sons were going to be clearing a portion of their land to get ready for next year's planting season. Mrs. Harper, on the other hand, had late vegetables to collect from the garden.

I insisted on doing the dishes. It was the least I could do to show my gratitude that they had allowed me to disrupt their daily routine. And it was some of the few things I was confident I could do correctly.

Once I had completed the task, I was at a loss as to what to do. It felt wrong to simply sit down and wait for Noah to come. Even to finish my letter felt likea frivolous task in the face of what my hosts were doing that day. But would I be more of a hindrance if I tried to help?

Oh, why was it so difficult to be a guest?

Breathing out, Igathered my courage and stepped outside. Mrs. Harper was kneeling in the garden, hard at work. As I approached, I saw her pull on a frilly green top and bring an orange carrot up.

"Can I help?" I asked. "I mean, if there is a way I can help without causing a disaster?"

"My goodness, Miss Garrison," she said, leaning back on her heels. She peered up at me with a mixture of confusion and amusement. "I cannot imagine that any disaster could come from pulling carrots!"

"I suppose I have a pessimistic imagination then," I responded, only half joking. "What if I were to pull on a carrot and the top snapped off with the vegetable still in the ground?"

She chuckled, shaking her head. "I think it might be considered unfortunate, but hardly a disaster. Miss Garrison—I'm sorry. May I call you Elizabeth? I know we have just met but we are to be neighbors and, I hope, friends."

The request warmed my heart. "Please do, I am not one to stand on formality," I told her. Well, unless it suited me to do so, that is.

"Wonderful. Elizabeth, then. And you must call me Martha. If I might make an observation, I would advise you not to fear mistakes so much. Not all are, as you put it, disasters. Mistakes help us to learn. I believe I mentioned that there is always something to learn and mistakes go along with that learning."

Her words could have been spoken by my mother, and the realization brought tears to my eyes. I suspected Mother would have liked Mrs. Harper very much, but they would never meet.

"Oh, dear," Mrs. Harper exclaimed, scrambling up. "I don't mean to scold you. Please forgive me for being too blunt."

"No, no," I managed to say. I brushed at the tears in my eyes, ashamed at my lack of control. "You simply reminded me of my mother. She would have scolded me for being a ninny if she were here."

"Well." Mrs. Harper—Martha—shook her head. "I will take that as a compliment. I hardly think I am old enough to be your mother."

The absurdity made me laugh, which caused the other woman to nod in approval. "That's better," she said. "Why, what would Noah think if he were to arrive and you were crying? He'd accuse me of mistreating you and whisk you away before we've had a chance to talk."

I wiped at my face to remove any evidence of my lapse into grief. "Well, I wouldn't want that," I told her honestly. "How is it that you think so highly of him when the rest of your neighbors do not?"

"It would be difficult not to think highly of him." Martha knelt back down to continue her work. "My husband and I discussed this. We prefer to stack up what we know of Noah against the ugly rumors. He is simply not the kind of man to do the things he has been accused of."

"But surely you know there are those who hide what they are."

She looked up at me with a stern expression. "There are those who try, but do you think a man capable of maintaining such a pretence for nearly ten years?"

"Some men have." It felt strange to play deveil's advocate with someone I had just met, but I needed to do it if I wanted to learn the truth.

She paused and then heaved a sigh. "I suppose," she agreed, though her tone was reluctant. "And yet, I have to believe there would have been some sign; some mistake or slip in his behavior to reveal the truth. As of yet, there has been no proof of him having done anything wrong. I will not condemn any man when there is no evidence."

"Innocent until proven guilty?"

"That is the way things are supposed to work."

And yet, so often, it was the other way around. You were guilty until you had proven your innocence, and even then, you were treated with suspicion afterward.

Crouching down, I reached out and grasped one of the green tops. I pulled a carrot out of the soil and then added it to the basket Martha was filling. It was a small thing, but I felt unusually proud of myself.

"Is there anything you can tell me about Annie Burns?" I asked. "Or maybe about the rest of her family?"

Mrs. Harper heaved a sigh. "I suppose I should have expected you to ask that. I know them in that we are acquainted. We don't socialize with most of the neighbors. There just isn't the time for that frivolity."

No time? I'd thought that the men and women who came west relied on each other. But perhaps it was too difficult to meet other women when there were many miles between you.

"I'm trying to understand what happened between Noah and the Burns'," I told her honestly. "I would hate to believe that anyone would simply invent a malicious story."

"I find it difficult to believe myself," Martha agreed. "I don't know Annie well, but she never seemed to be malicious. If she made up this story, she must have had a reason."

But what reason would be good enough to ruin a man's reputation?

"Your Noah knew them better, but even he has been confused by this whole thing," the other woman said suddenly. "And there he is."

Startled, I followed her gaze to see a wagon on the horizon. Nervousness hit harder than ever as I stood up. I brushed my hands against my skirt, though I hadn't gotten any dirt on them. Martha carried on with her task, filling her basket with the vegetables.

"I hope you have a wonderful day. I promise I won't ask too many questions when you return this evening."

Was that all? I was expected to just go off with Noah? "I take it that chaperones are not as common out here as they are back east?" I asked, glancing at her.

How well I remembered how my mother had kept a strict eye on my sister's suitor! No closed door. Either she or myself would sit in the same room. The only time Maryanne was alone with her caller was if they went for a walk. Even then, they remained in view of all our neighbors.

"I'm afraid we don't have the luxury to just abandon our work to keep an eye on the ones who are skating," Mrs. Harper said with a laugh. But then her expression became serious. "Are you afraid of being alone with Noah?"

"No, of course not!" It took me a moment to understand why she had felt compelled to ask. Given the topic we had just discussed, perhaps I would have been worried if she wasn't concerned. "I suppose there are many things that are different here from the east."

Again, she let out a laugh, all seriousness fading away. "More than you might expect, but I think you'll fit in just fine."

While I appreciated her optimism, I wasn't so sure about that.

Noah brought his wagon to a halt by the house. "Good morning," he called out, lifting one hand in a wave.

"Morning, Noah," Mrs. Harper responded, waving in return. "It's about time you showed up. The morning is half gone already!"

"It's barely ten o'clock!" Noah protested.

"You two go on and have fun," Mrs. Harper said, making a shooing motion with her hands.

"Are you sure?" I asked, eyeing the row of carrots before her.

"You are not a servant or my daughter," she said firmly. "You came all this way to get to know Noah, not pull my vegetables. Go on."

My nervousness returned in full force as I started to walk where Noah waited. He;d climbed down from the wagon and stood with his hat in his hand. "Everything alright?" he asked, concern in his expression.

"Hmm? Oh, yes," I assured him quickly. "Where are we going?"

"Well, I thought you might like to see my place." He let go of his hat to rub the back of his neck. "I'm afraid there's no restaurants or anything like where other couples visit back east."

Was he as nervous as I was? "I don't mind. I'm eager to see your home," I told him honestly. "Shall we be off?"

~*~

As he was driving, I saw him try to hide a yawn. Sitting next to him, I could see the shadows under his eyes. "Did you not sleep well?" I asked.

With a start, he glanced over at me. "Well..." he said, drawing the word out. "No, I suppose that's the best way to put it. There was an unexpected visitor to my place last night and it was difficult to fall asleep after. That's part of the reason I was late coming this morning. I had to clean up the mess."

"What happened?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" He glanced over at me again with a wry kind of smile. "It's not a great story."

"Is anything in life a 'great story'?" I pointed out. "If we hope to marry, I need to know what I would face with you."

It was a simple enough tale and was not one I was expecting. His neighbor, the one he'd been having trouble with all summer, had stopped by and threatened to kill him. It was only thanks to a visiting marshal that any further trouble had been prevented.

"I just don't understand why they are going to these lengths to..." Noah's voice trailed away as he struggled to find the words. "Well, whatever they're doing. All because I wouldn't marry his daughter? That isn't the end of the world."

"I quite agree." There had to be some reason, something we didn't know that was at the root of this whole situation. "Does he simply dislike being told no?"

Angelica was like that. As I knew very well. If it wasn't her plan or idea, it wasn't right. Disagree with herand you can expect tears and proclamations that you hated her. It was exhausting and frustrating.

"I would hope that a man of Jake Burns' years would have learned that not everything will go the way he expects," Noah responded with a sigh. "He can't be so selfish that he believes I must do as he says. I am not his son or anyone else he can dictate to."

"I don't know. I've met a few truly self-cetnered people and it is impossible to reason with them," I told him, my mind still on my sister-in-law. "Those kind of people tend to try bending the world to fit their idea of what things should be."

"You don't make me feel any better about this." Noah shook his head. "Though I've yet to think of a solution, I've been trying to hold onto the hope that there will be something to make this die down."

Chagrined, I put my hand on his arm. "I'm sorry. Don't listen to me. I don't even know your neighbor. It would be presumptuous of me to assume to kjonw anything about his motives."

Noah took both reins into one hand and used his now free one to put over my hand. "No. I appreciate you offering your opinion. Maybe together we will be able to think of a way to put this to rest."

"I will certainly think on it." I'd thought about this on my journey west, but not having all the details made it difficult to think of something useful.

Mrs. Harper hadn't known much about Annie Burns, so I didn't learn anything from her. It seemed to me that I needed to discover something about the girl herself. Perhaps then I would be able to understand some small piece of this puzzle.

"Here we are," Noah announced, getting my attention. "Home sweet home, as they say."

With a start, I realized we were coming up on a small barn and cabin. To the right was a fence that was in a circle. Everything appeared neat and orderly in a way I wasn't expecting. Even my aunt and uncle's farm had a little chaos around their barn from things needing to be stored.

"And there is Winston," Noah said with a laugh. He gestured toward the porch where I saw a black and white cat sitting on one of the steps. "He has become the official greeter around here."

"Even for the unwelcome visitors?" I asked as he brought the wagon to a halt.

"Well, he tends to hide when unwelcome visitors come around." Noah jumped down and then turned to help me descend from the wagon seat. "He's probably the smartest creature here."

I accepted his hand to climb down. "Oh, I don't know. You seem pretty smart yourself, Mr. Coleman."

Color rose up his neck and he cleared his throat. Oh, dear. Had I embarrassed him? "I appreciate the compliment," he said. "Anyway, would you like to take a tour of my home?"

"Of course." But our time together couldn't be entirely spent on him showing me his prospects. "And then, I think it might be time we have that serious conversation I mentioned in one of my letters. You have some explaining to do."

The color increased in his face. "Of course," was his answer.

~*~

My dearest and only sister,

How are you? Have you finished preparing for your baby? It can't be too long now. I hope my new niece or nephew comes into the world without too much fuss. You will write to me with all the news, won't you?

You would laugh at the bonnet I bought myself on my journey west. My fashionable hat was useless against the bright sun and I decided to imitate all the wise women who came before me. I found a reasonable cotton bonnet at one of the general stores and I do not step outside without it.

The views are quite beautiful here in Wyoming. Of course, it is strange to be so far from everything I've ever known but I think I will adjust to it well enough.

I'm sure you are curious about Mr. Noah Coleman. He was on hand to welcome me to his town and arranged for me to staty with a neighbor. He has been extremely courteous and kind to me...