Chapter Seven: Elizabeth

I should have known that Mother would take notice of my change in reading material. Instead of my usual fare of novels or the serial stories in the papers, I studied the receipts in Mrs. Elliot's Housewife. Though I tried to read it whenever she slept, she caught me out several times.

"Is Angelica urging you to do more in the kitchen?" she finally asked.

"What?" I asked, startled. "Oh, no. She hasn't made that suggestion yet."

"So why the sudden interest in cooking?" Mother asked bluntly. "It is not your usual kind of reading. I assume Molly lent it to you?"

"Yes, she did." I ran my hand over the mending in my lap. It was growing dark for such work, but my sister-in-law had been wondering when I would finish the repair. I thought I'd be able to finish it by the light of the candles. "I thought it was long past time I learned more about managing a household. Who knows? Angelica may decide to turn off Sally to save money and I will have a great deal of catching up to do."

My joke fell flat. Mother shook her head. "I know you and Angelica do not get on well, but there is no reason to speak ill of her behind her back," she gently chided. "She has a great deal of responsibility to raise her children and keep the house in running order. Not to mention how she might feel she has to feel my shoes."

Of course, Mother would be gracious and understanding. Even when confined to her bed, she was a lady. How disappointed she must be in me with my reluctance to show the same attitude!

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling thoroughly chastened. "I know she is doing the best she can in the situation."

"Now why don't you tell me the real reason why you've been reading that book so intently." Mother leveled a steady gaze on me. "I made sure your sister and you knew how to manage a household, so there is no 'catching up' you need to do."

Could I pass it off as a mere passing fancy of mine? No, I couldn't be untruthful with my mother even if it was just omitting certain details.

I'd sent the photograph to Mr. Coleman, so it was as serious as it ever could be. Even if I still didn't feel ready to tell the rest of my family, I should tell Mother.

"I want to be prepared for the future," I said honestly. I chose my words carefully as I considered how to tell her. "I want to be able to be confident my skills in the kitchen are up to anything, especially if there is a shortage of something or another. I want to know how to preserve all kinds of food."

That had really been the most interesting part of the book Molly had given me. It had receipts for things I wouldn't have thought to need. I just wish I could practice what I was learning somehow.

Mother's forehead furrowed into a concerned frown. "So you expect that to happen? There were some shortages during the war, but I thought things had been improving. I can't recall you reading anything about it in the newspapers."

"Well, no, but anything in life can happen, you know. Nothing is guaranteed, as you have told me often enough. Isn't it better to know something and not need it, than to be faced with a situation and not know what should be done?"

Turning her head, Mother lapsed into an intense coughing fit. "Fudgeon," she said when she recovered herself. "You are prevaricating. What have you gotten yourself involved in, Elizabeth? Tell me the truth now."

With a sigh, I confessed. I told her about Angelica's plans for me to go to Maryanne and more of how John kept urging me to marry Mr. Willis. I explained how I had written an answer to the advertisement, not to mention keeping an eye on other advertisements that had since appeared in the newspapers. Everything I had learned about Mr. Noah Coleman came next and Mother listened without saying a word.

"So...that's it," I ended lamely when I ran out of words. "That's why I've been reading about housekeeping. Molly thought it would help me prepare to go West. If that's what I decide to do."

For a moment, I didn't think Mother was going to say anything. "You should have told me when it became so serious," she finally said. "John and Angelica have no right to put such pressure on you or to manage your life as though you were a child! I would have spoken to them for you."

"Well, I cannot blame them for how they feel." I leaned back in my chair. "I am a burden on them both."

Mother shook her head. "You could never be a burden, Betta," she said, reaching to put her hand on mine. "I have seen how you help Angelica, even when you don't wish to do so. Why, you do more mending than I have ever seen her do. You more than earn your place in this household."

Guiltily, I thought of all the times I had slipped away, pretending not to hear my sister-in-law's voice. That was not being helpful or kind.

"If you really believe they think you are a burden, I cannot imagine how they must view me," Mother continued, her tone becoming pensive. She shook her head before she continued, "I'm sure Angelica is grateful you are here to help take care of me."

Given how Angelica vacillated between believing Mother was not sick and then too sick for company, I very much feared my mother would be left to suffer if I were not there.

"John would never see you as a burden, Mother," I told her honestly. I could understand why she might think that, but she shouldn't have such thoughts weighing on her mind. "It is not your fault you are sick."

"And he shouldn't be so eager to see you wed just so that you are no longer an unmarried sister," Mother said, ignoring me. "Mr. Willis! Why, your father would be rolling over in his grave if he knew this."

Uneasily, I leaned forward. It couldn't be good for her to be so agitated. "Mother, please calm down," I urged. "I am not going to marry Mr. Willis, no matter how much John urges me to. I am writing to Mr. Coleman, remember? There's no need to worry over that."

"Is that supposed to make me feel any easier? You shouldn't be forced to correspond with a stranger just to escape! You don't know anything about this man. He might very well be worse than Mr. Willis!"

"I don't think he is anything like Mr. Willis at all." Was there some way to reassure her? "Would you like to read his letters? He writes well, and he is very forthcoming about the town he lives closest to. He's told me about his neighbors as well."

Mother hesitated. "No. I won't pry into your personal correspondence. If you feel that this Mr. Coleman of yours is an honest man and worthy of you, I will trust that I have brought you up to know what is best. Just...be cautious. There's no reason to rush away to a territory town just because your family has annoyed you."

On that detail, I wasn't entirely convinced. While I would never want to abandon Mother, I wasn't welcome in my childhood home. Rushing was not necessary, it was true, but I did feel I should take steps to be ready to leave.

"Perhaps you would feel easier if you were to take a trip away."

Surprised, I blinked. A trip? "No. Where would—"

"I was thinking you might spend a week or two with my sister who lives near Wabash," Mother continued, interrupting my question. "Her garden might not be yielding much this early in the summer, but she could teach you about the farm. You might learn a great deal from your cousins."

Aunt Hamilton?

"A book is all well and good for giving you information, but the best way to learn is by doing," Mother said with a nod. "They have cows, chickens, and pigs if I remember correctly. And it would give you some space from Angelica."

My cheeks flushed as I considered the proposal. Maybe she was right. It would be nice to visit my cousins, since it had been some time since I had seen them. Who knew how much my aunt could teach me? Could I leave Mother for a few weeks?

"Don't worry about me," Mother said as though she had read my mind. "Mrs. Parker has made a point of visiting every day these past few weeks. I'm sure Angelica will make sure I am well cared for."

How sad that I needed the assurance that our friends would visit to know Mother would receive the care she needed!

"You don't think Aunt Hamilton will mind if I come for a week or two?"

"Of course not. She loves when family visits. I will write to her immediately." Mother hesitated, her enthusiasm dimming. "Or, you can write the letter for me. It never hurts to ask when you need help, Elizabeth. What is the worst that could happen? She will say no?"

And as I wrote the letter for Mother, I began to feel excited.

~*~

As soon as the letter to my aunt was posted, I was left to wait once more. I knew there would be several days before I could hope to hear from my aunt. In the meantime, I tried to keep busy and not think about it.

My sister-in-law, naturally, always had something for me to do.

I'm not sure why I felt so proud of myself when I wrote to Mr. Colemen about my new plan. I informed him that it had been my mother's idea, even though she was unsure about our correspondence. After some hesitation, I asked if he would write to my mother and reassure her about his intentions. At the very least, might he add a note at the end of his next letter?

Would he be offended by my mother's hesitation? His letters had been kind and understanding so far, but I hadn't suggested his intentions would be less than honorable. Men usually didn't like when their honor was questioned, did they?

Perhaps it was because I was preoccupied with my own concern but it was a mistake to not take notice of what was happening around me. I knew my brother was hosting a dinner party, but had thought nothing of it beyond an annoyance. I would have to leave my mother to her own company for hours that evening to make a dutiful appearance.

No one had mentioned who the guests would be, and it was my fault for not asking. If I had asked, I would have prepared myself for Mr. Willis and not worn my best dress. More likely, though, I would have made my excuses and just not made an appearance at all.

The sixty-year-old man grabbed my hand the moment I stepped into the room. "Miss Garrison," he said, leaning in closer than was necessary. "How lovely you look this evening. Like a veritable rose among thorns!"

Although I was not the smallest person in town, Mr. Willis was nearly twice my size. He had an excellent cook and the wealth to support fine dining. The seams of his jacket strained when he moved, signalling that he indulged in that fine food often. How often his maid must repair his clothes!

"Good evening, sir," I managed to say with tolerable politeness. I pulled my hand free of his sweaty grasp and wiped it on my silk skirt. It was near impossible to look past him to see who else had been invited. "I must—"

"Mrs. Garrison assures me you and I will be seated next to each other for the meal," Mr. Willis interrupted. He spoke with a broad smile that revealed his stained teeth. "I have been looking forward to this evening all week. I want to tell you all about

The polite thing to do would be to smile, but I couldn't go that far. It would feel too much like encouraging him. However much he might have been looking forward to it, I dreaded it. Who was to blame for this situation? My brother? Or Angelica, who would have made the seating arrangements?

If Mother had spoken to my sibling, he'd obviously not listened.

"Excuse me, sir. I must greet our other guests," I said, trying to step to the side. Not for the first time, I wondered how he fit through any door. How did he have the energy to get from the street to the inside of the house?

"As if I don't know you and Miss Parker gossip every day," he said with an exaggerated wink. He shifted to stay in front of me. "I'm sure she can do without your company for a short time. What can you have left to tell her?"

Molly? A rush of relief hit as I realized my best friend was on hand to help. If only I could get her attention!

"It is only polite for me to greet all of our guests, whether they are Miss Parker or not," I informed him through gritted teeth. Whatever mistaken idea he had about me, it was not my responsibility to correct him. "I know you will excuse me, Mr. Willis."

The corners of his mouth turned down. "It isn't as though you are the mistress of the house. Why do you need to do anything? No one would expect it."

His words cut like a knife. How dare he say such a thing? Did he mean to be hurtful? I had never been the mistress of the house, but I knew how to behave when guests were invited!

"There you are, Eliza," Molly exclaimed cheerfully. She edged around Mr. Willis and took up position beside me. "How selfish of you to try to monopolize her, Mr. Willis. Surely you knew her friends would wish her company!"

She hugged my arm and pulled me away. I heard Mr. Willis splutter with annoyance. "Thank you," I whispered. "I was about to cause a horrible scene."

"Oh, dear. If I had known about that, I would have waited so that I could see it." Molly looked over her shoulder as she gave my arm a reassuring squeeze. "He is an odious man, and I have no idea why your brother is friends with him."

"You know why."

Molly paused. "Oh. Right. Well, I suppose that only proves he is an idiot." She put ona smile as we joined her mother and another neighbor. "I insisted Eliza join us. Doesn't she look marvelous tonight?"

As grateful as I was for her rescuing from Mr. Willis, I knew I wasn't completely free just yet. He'd said I was going to be seated by him for dinner. How was I going to keep control of my tongue and temper?

~*~

Dear Mr. Coleman,

I hope you will not think me too forward for writing to you again so soon. I have just arrived at my aunt's house. I told you about my aunt in my last letter. She has kindly agreed to teach me all she knows about caring for a farm and preserving foods from the garden. June might not be the best month for this, but as my mother says there is not time like the present to start something.

I can't deny I am excited to begin this project. I've always enjoyed learning, even in school. Reading has been a favorite hobby for me and my neighbors gave me Mrs. Elliot's Housewife in the hopes that I would find it useful. It has been interesting, but my mother assures me that it is sometimes better to learn by doing something and not just reading about it.

Since I grew up in town, small though it might be, it always amazes me how quiet it is in the country. Well, the rooster is annoyingly loud in the morning and the rest of the animals can be quite vocal when they are hungry. But there is a peacefulness to the farm that puts me at ease.

Or it may be that my nerves have been unusually unsettled.

My brother is set on me marrying a man here in Peru and I do not know why. The man is old enough to be my father. I don't know if this is something I should tell you or if you're even interested. You may skip this section if you find it too tedious. I have tried to make my disinterest in this man known, but he still persists. Right before I came to my aunt's home, my brother hosted a dinner and my sister-in-law seated me next to the man. I think he is the only person to ever try putting his hand on my knee.

It took all my self control not to stab his hand with my fork. My best friend was seated on his other side and she dumped her wine in his lap...