Are You Busy?

Savannah

With dinner finished and this first step in clearing a path taken, I went to my room and stared at my phone.

I would like to say I had big enough balls to just shoot Damon a text or hit the damn call button, but I can’t.

I have never ever in the entirety of my life been like this about a question. It’s just a simple yes or no.

Why are there hummingbirds fluttering about in my stomach? Why am I sweating cold? Why do I care this much?!

He is just a guy. My Angel. It’s just dinner. It’s not like I’m asking for a kidney or for a baby or something.

~Get your shit together, Savannah!~

Feeling in the spirit of song lyrics like we had started, I decided not to stop that tradition so soon.

He had kept it up for two weeks, and so I would wait until he messaged me and then would work from that.

He normally did it at about two o’clock so that gives me plenty of time.

***

I feel like I’m in an episode of ~SpongeBob~, where the screen cuts to black and it’s like, “Ten hours later.”

Because I swear to God the time took forever.

When my phone dinged, I was already on the message bubble.

Angel

She knows exactly what to do

Whenever I’m alone with her

I can barely make a move

By the time she opens up her eyes

She sings to me at night

She’s singing.

I reread the words over and over. Fitting them to what we did today. Now it’s my turn.

Savannah

I’m lost in empty pillow talk again

This bed’s an island made of feather down, and I’m stuck here alone

With little else but memories of you, on memory foam

Visions of a brighter love, I’d kill for one more day

To pool my thoughts, and find the words to say

If these sheets were the states, and you were miles away,

I’d fold them end over end to bring you closer to me.

Because I don’t sleep at all without you pressed up against me.

I settle for long distance calls, I’m lost in empty pillow talk again.

This was actually kind of fun. I have always loved music.

Since the crash it’s been kind of bittersweet for me. Singing was my life—dancing and performing.

I couldn’t move the way I used to even if I tried, getting on stage makes me feel sick to my stomach from just the idea.

My heart is also sick from the thought of performing without my family in the crowd.

This? This thing between Damon and me is letting me use my musical talents without hurting the broken parts of me.

I waited.

And waited.

The bubbles popping up then down again.

~Come the hell on!~

~Ping.~

Angel

Cross my heart and hope to die

Burn my lungs and curse my eyes.

I’ve lost control and I don’t want it back.

I’m going numb, I’ve been hijacked.

It’s a fucking drag.

I taste you on my lips and I can’t get rid of you.

So I say damn your kiss and the awful things you do.

You’re worse than nicotine.

I giggled like a child and tapped the screen to my forehead. A goofy grin along my lips as I form hearts in my eyes.

My turn.

Savannah

It’s a symphony when you sweettalk

Make this quiet town feel like electric loud.

When the love is goin’ down every word out of your mouth.

Is like music.

Like a seventies soundtrack when you look at me like that.

I lose it.

My name on your lips wanna replay your kiss.

When I wake and lay down and stay up and make out.

I’m not sayin’ nothin’.

But it’s feelin’ something like music.

And now I wait.

I stare out the window and look at the half-moon that’s illuminating my dark room. The whitish-blue tint streams in and casts this neo-romantic feel all around me.

~What am I doing right now?~

~Am I flirting?~

I am a huge flirt but this is not like my dirty jokes that I fire off here and there. This feels real.

Damon and I aren’t picking at each other, we are actually saying stuff.

Not fighting.

Not sexing each other up.

~Is this us being...are we actually talking about our feelings?~

~Eww.~

~Ping!~

Angel

I feel the blood rushin’ throughout ya body

You see the scars painted over my skin.

I’m always numb to the topic of loving.

I fell in love with the subject of sin, oh

I don’t have to remind you,

It’s my need to confine you,

I see your face every time I’m with somebody else

Can’t you see that I want you? (Put your feelings behind you)

I don’t have to remind you.

My heart and my vagina are working together to gangbang my mind into submission.

~This is what I wanted, right?~

~Sonofabitch.~

Damon and I go back and forth, sending lyrics. The idea of Damon giggling and smiling this goofy grin like I am makes me smile even bigger.

How can this man have this effect on me? How can I feel like this when I don’t even know what I want!

~Get it together, Savannah.~

~He has done bad shit to you, he helped ruin your jacket, he has not stood up at all for you while his dad disrespected you.~

~When Luci spoke out about the crash, about Uncle Jonah, about Percy. When he said he would have slept with your mother!~

~Now, you know he has good and bad. But that doesn’t excuse the bad.~

My inner goddess speaks up like the knowledgeable soul she is.

~But he said he was sorry.~

~No.~

I need to refrain from this puppy-love shit I have going on right now. I need to have a clear head and figure out things first.

***

“Are you ~sure~ about this?” Percy looks at me with a lot of stuff going through his head.

His blue eyes like a storm. I can see concern for not only me but for himself and Uncle Jonah. I know it’s a crazy thought for Damon and I to be friends. But crazier things have happened.

How else am I going to find out why Henley blood is “tainted” and I’m supposed to hate them like Luci hates me? Well, Madis blood.

“Yes. I think it’s going to be fine, Piglet. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”

I shrug my shoulders and reposition my bag.

“If you’re sure. Good luck, Tigger.”

He nods his head at the lockers behind us. Damon and Moonpie talk back and forth, unaware of my plans and the full-blown elephants stomping around my belly like they’re on a warpath.

I let go of my locker door and take off in their direction.

~I am Savannah Madis.~

~A goddess among men.~

I can do anything. That includes asking Damon to dinner.

~So stop acting like a schmuck and get it done!~

Moonpie watches me come closer, tapping Damon’s arm and flicking his eyes to me to show where he wants him to look.

Before I get in front of them, Sunshine joins the group and now all three await what I need to say.

~I got this. It’s nothing.~

~So stop feeling like a dumbass!~

“Hi Sunshine, Moonpie. Hello my Angel.”

I wave my hand from the strap on my shoulder, meeting all of their eyes.

“And to what do we owe this unexpected pleasure?” Sunshine leans against his locker and crosses his right ankle at his left.

His arms folded at his chest.

Moonpie looks between Damon and me like he is expected for me to just jump his bones right here in the middle of the hallway.

My eyes fall to the ground, I let out a short breath and look into Damon’s dark eyes.

“I just wanted to let you know…that Saturday at three…I will be cooking…at my house.”

Damon nods and this sly, foxlike smirk slips over his lips. Sunshine and Moonpie nod along.

“Is that all?” Damon’s eyes focus in on me.

I mimic this stance and fold my arms, cocking my hip out.

“If you happen to, I don’t know…be hungry at three on Saturday. I would have enough cooked to feed you. If you found yourself at or around the general vicinity, greater tri-state area. Or whatever. Sooo…that’s all, bye.”

I spin on the heels of my feet, my long hair spanning out in a swirl off my shoulder as I go to leave.

Damon’s hand at my wrist catching me.

“Are you asking me out, Savannah?”

His lips to my ear, the side of my body pressed to his solid front.

“No,” I snap.

“No?” He raises his eyebrow and that cockiness over his dark features enhances.

“Angel, my God you are so full of yourself. If I were to ask you out, you would know. I’m just telling you, you could eat around me, on Saturday at three. Since we’re friends.”

His chuckle doesn’t leave his throat, the way he looks over every detail of my face like he forgot it, or had no idea what I looked like.

His tongue points out to lick his bottom lip.

“Since we’re friends.”

He repeats like he doesn’t believe me.

“Yes. Since we are friends. Percy will be there.” I look across the hall to my dirty-blond cousin, who hides behind the door of his locker to pretend he wasn’t watching.

“And your pig?” His arms lie with this slight pressure around my waist to keep me held to him.

“Is aware of the invitation I am offering to you. He has some rules, but he knows we are friends.”

The girls around me give off evil looks and start gossiping at the sight of Damon Henley kinda…holding me.

“Rules?” His lips are so close to my face now I could just—no! This is important!

“I would have called them laws, but then I thought how you would break them.”

Damon’s lips twitch at the corners to switch the smirk to a real smile. His dark eyes, like pieces of coal, change to starless skies again.

We stand together, our bodies pressed so close we can feel each other’s chests rise and fall with every intake. We can feel the tension rising up again.

I push out of his hold and stand straight. My metaphorical crown sitting high on my head and my shoulders squared off.

“See you or not. Whatever.” I roll my eyes and act nonchalant about the whole thing.

“On Saturday,” Damon adds, talking over the crowd of kids around us.

“At three,” he yells louder when I keep walking.

My face turned away from him to hide the flutter of my own smile.

Percy at my side, we head to our next class.

Looking over, I widen my eyes and let the smile fall.

“What?” We walk in and take our seats.

“It’s nice to see you smile again, is all. I’ve missed it.”

His head on my shoulder, he rubs his forehead on my arm.

“Did you just rub a booger on me?”

I push him away, making us laugh, ignoring the truth.

***

Saturday.

At three.

~With Damon.~