18. Fifty Shades of Kaeden

-finley pov-

I wake up to find the room had cleared and everyone had left.

I check to time to see it was past eight and visiting hours ended an hour ago. I sit up and rub the blur from my eyes to find Kaeden alone in bed, laying on his side facing the wall away from me.

There was a small sniffle coming from his direction and I quietly get up. Slowly making my way across the floor to come up behind him. Without saying a word I lay down next to him, gently rubbing his back. The sniffling stops and he raises his sleeve to wipe what I assume are tears, away from his face. After a few moments, he lets out a shaky sigh but I continue rubbing his back.

"Kae? What's wrong?" I ask for what could possibly be the hundredth time today. I've gotta come up with better ways to ask what's up.

"Nothing. Just stupid life stuff. Well, you would say it was stupid." he replies and I gently scratch the nape of his neck.

"Try me," I simply shrug and he flips to his back, staring up at the ceiling while we talk softly.

"I was just thinking about how there's so much I want to do, but it feels like the road is so long I'll never be able to get through it all. Like I want to get top surgery, but first, I have to be in good mental health and then I have to pay 50,000 credits for the operation. No one cares that it's basically life and death with my severe dysphoria." he says and I poke his cheek.

"How about taking it in one step at a time. Let's get you in a better mental health state and once we do, I will make sure you don't leave here without top surgery." I offer and he suddenly burst out laughing.

"Pft, first off I need top surgery before I accept this body for what it is. And secondly, thank you for the good intentions but 50,000 credits don't just appear out of thin air." He says with a sad smile.

With my arm now draped around him, I stay quiet for a few minutes. Deciding whether or not I should share the truth with him as I slowly run my fingers across the lower half of his rib cage. Careful to stay away from the top part to avoid triggering him.

"Kae, there's something I have to tell you," I start and he turns his head to me, his eyebrows raised with concern.

"What's wrong?" He asks and slowly but surely his hand comes to rest on mine.

"I'm not who you think I am," I add but he just continues to stare at me in confusion.

"Go on?" He pushes me forward but I was scared.

Some people don't react too kindly when they find out they're sitting next to the heir of a multi-trillion dollar company and the prince of a whole ass country. Usually, I didn't care about people's feelings but this was different.

"Remember when you called me king of the quad?" I asked and he nods with a light laugh.

"Yeah, when I disturbed you from your first dark night of the soul," He says.

"Well you weren't wrong," I try to break it to him gently but he stops laughing and looks at me.

"Stop, you're fucking with me right?" he asks and we just stare at each other.

"You're secretly the king of England?" He asks and I choke on air.

"What? No. Wrong country and title." I correct him.

"What are you king of then? A gang? Oh, no Fin!" He gasps and I sigh.

I wasn't looking forward to this reveal so I start planning for the worse. He was probably going to flip out and then kick me out, maybe tell me he never wants to see me again. Then I'd have to go outside and fall asleep in the hospital waiting room until he calms down.

"My full name is Prince Finley Oliver Grayson of the Island of Bridgeport. I'm a member of the Grayson family. You know, those guys who seem to own a shit ton of buildings in every country like Mcdonalds?" I point out and wait for the worse.

"And?" Kaeden asks as if I told him some boring fact about myself.

"And? No there's nothing else. That's it." I say and he lets out a sigh of relief.

"Jesus Fin, don't scare me like that. I thought you were going to offer to pay to my surgery with pimp credits or something," He laughs.

"Pimp credits? First, you think I'm a drug dealer, now I'm a pimp?" I ask.

"Well aren't they the same thing?" He gives a cute shrug and I roll my eyes.

"No Kae, just no," I say as I sit up, noticing the paper still on his desk. I pick it up to see all the bubbles had been filled except one.

"Oh yeah, sorry they got to it first but Maisie saved you one," He says and I flip the paper over to the blank side.

"Well fuck you too Maisie," I mutter under my breath as I start making fifty lines.

"What were you two fighting about earlier?" Kaeden asks as he picks up his phone.

"When did you get your phone back?" I ask to avoid answering the previous question.

"Cassie snuck it in for me after I told her a billion times I'm not going to shatter it and slit my other wrist," he explains.

"Not like I'd even been able to if I wanted to with you here," He adds.

"You've got that right,"

I finish the last line and go to start my fifty things when I hear a small giggle. I look over from the desk to see Kaeden cradling his phone and holding in laughter.

"What's so funny?" I ask as I try to peak over his shoulder but he holds the phone closer so I couldn't see.

"Nothing, just memes the crew keeps sending me in a group chat we have. It's called the best bitches of bucks county cause one time Vahn and Noell...oh nevermind," he quickly lies after being caught off guard but I choose to ignore it. I go to start writing adjectives on the first line when he laughs again.

"I also didn't know you spoke eight languages," He says and I turn back to him.

"Did you just Google me?" I narrow my eyes and reach for the phone but he pulls back.

"No...maybe...yes. But you Googled me!" He confesses and I reach out again, trying to grab it.

"That's not the same!" I cry out.

"I didn't know you had fan pages made about you in high school," He laughs and as he keeps pulling back while staring at images of me.

"Well, I can also see why you're so attractive considering your dads look like models, god. Wait, aren't you adopted or something though if you have two dads? How does that work?" he asks and I finally grab the phone from him.

"No, on my island we have a lot of lgbt families because it's a country created by immigrants for immigrants exiled from their own countries for fear of death due to prejudice. So our tech is also more advanced than the rest of the world. As far as children go, we have programs for same-sex couples to have biological children." I explain.

I look down at his phone to find a picture taken of Kaeden and me with the news headline of the Playboy Prince's latest lover.

"Apparently you're here too," I sigh. Suddenly hating freedom of speech

"Oh?" He takes his phone back and looks at the picture taken of the two of us shopping in Soho.

"Nice, I always wanted to be hunted by paparazzi. Oooh, they gave me the title of a lover. That's more than what I am now," he laughs and puts the phone down.

"What do you think you are now?" I ask and he does that cute lip bite thing as if he knows.

"I'm just a close friend I guess," he says.

"A close friend huh?" I poke fun at it but don't bother with it further.

"I'm not big on labels early on," I confess as I attempt to draw a stick figure version of him in light blue crayon.

"Early on in what?" He asks, tempting me to say it but instead I clear my throat and start the fifty.

"Let's see, fifty things I like about Kaeden. First, your Canadian accent," I point out and he comes close to the desk to look over my shoulder.

"What are you talking about, we have the same accent?" He points out.

"No, yours has a little French twist to it. Hmm okay, the lip bite thing," I add to the second line and he hits my shoulder.

"What lip bite thing?" He scoffs as if he doesn't believe me.

"You do this adorable thing where every time you're thinking really hard about something or your feeling coy you bite the corner of your lip. Next would be your smile," I continue writing.

"My smile? What are you talking about, I have a weird slightly hideous smile," He disrupts me again.

"Are you going to object to all fifty or are you going to let me write? I believe the top says 'fifty things I like about Kae'. Not 'fifty things I like that Kaeden disagrees with'," I huff and mumbles something under his breath before diving into a small bag of peanut m&m's while resting his head on my shoulder.

"If I hadn't tried to kill myself, do you think we would be like this?" He asks twenty answers in.

"Yes, because I liked you before. It would have taken longer for you to realize the same but yes. Either way, it would have happened." I answer honestly and put the crayon down, gently resting my hand on his right thigh where the bandages covered his deepest insecurity.

"This is wrong. I hope I can make you realize that" I add and his hand quickly pushes mine away from the false word he had carved on his thigh.

One that would scar and forever be engraved on his skin.

"I'm ashamed of it. Please don't bring it up again," He asks and I respect his wishes after writing the antonym of the word as number 23 on his sheet.

Lovable in small blue letters.

Right below the word strength.