We Deserve Each Other

We came back late, so the first thing we did was crawl into bed.

“I’m tired.” Sara groaned into the pillow and I just chuckled. We were at my place tonight since it was closer to Jan’s and we needed to pick up Cooper.

Cooper wasted no time jumping into bed after us and crawling up at the bottom of our feet. “He’s so lucky he’s cute.” I said through my yawn.

“Are you saying you’d kick him out of bed if he was ugly?” She rolled over and I slid my arm beneath her neck while she moved closer and let her head rest on my shoulder.

“Maybe I would.” I mumbled and stuck my tongue out at her.

“Liar. You’d love him anyways.”

“He’s an okay dog.” I admitted, watching him pant at us with his pink tongue lolling out of his mouth.

She yawned a nuzzled farther into me. “When are we having dinner with your brother?”

“Wednesday. And I have to go to the bar with Jan tomorrow night.”

“Okay. That sounds good.” She murmured.

“Go to sleep, baby.” I kissed her forehead and she said something in return, but I couldn’t hear it. I was just happy that she fell asleep almost immediately.

We woke up early got into our chef’s jacket and checkered pants. Ironed, clipped nails, kitchen shoes, the whole sha-bang. Culinary school was hard work, and you had to look spectacular every day for it. I do have to say that Sara looked hot in that chef’s jacket with the nice clean T shaped crease on the back. If I didn’t have somewhere to go, I would have torn the damn thing off by now.

Instead I took her to school, which wasn’t nearly as fun as everything else I could have been doing to her. Those green eyes would look so much better rolled back as she tangled her fingers into my hair and moaned my name. Yeah, that would be a lot better than school.

We were baking a cake and would be decorating it once it cooled. It was in the oven now, leaving nothing for Sara and I to do but talk.

“You’re going to see Jan tonight?” She asked, her shoulder pressed against mine.

“Yeah, you wanna come?”

She shook her head and said, “I think Taylor wants to hang out.” Taylor was the one who told me to talk to Sara that first night. So much has changed since then. I could barely think of Sara as a one night stand now, how could I have ever thought of her like that?

Because I was an asshole back then.

“Well, I promise to be a good girl tonight.” I said, smiling playfully.

She grinned and leaned forward, her lips brushing against my ear and causing me to shiver slightly. “Good girls get rewarded, bad girls get punished.” And then the oven beeped and Sara swiftly turned around to pull it out, leaving me to stand there with wide eyes and my jaw hanging open.

When I first met this girl, wasn’t she crazy nervous? Damn. Where did that girl go?

I was leaning over the table as I lined up the shot.

“She said she loved you? Did you say it back?” I had told Jan what happened, and she seemed shocked. For once I finally shocked her.

“Yes, she said she loved me, and no I didn’t say it back. That would mean that—”

“You’d have to admit you were wrong?” She rolled her eyes.

I scowled. “No, it would mean that there was such a thing.”

“Are you kidding me? You obviously love her! All you ever do is think about her, you guys always spend the night together, and I know this isn’t all sex. Come on, tell me how you feel when you’re with her, and I’ll tell you if you’re a fucking idiot or not.”

“I don’t know, I mean, I’m just happy. I like being with her. It’s just…it’s fun. It’s not all sex, I know, I like her a lot, but I don’t love her. I don’t believe in that sort of thing.” I watched a striped fall disappear into the pocket and I sized up the table, wondering which to hit next.

“Idiot. You love her. You get this look when you talk about her; I’ve never seen that look on your damn face. You’re in love, get over it. You were wrong, not everyone is perfect.” She was watching me closely as I walked around the table.

“I don’t love her, Jan. She’s great. I like being with her, I like spending time with her, I really like the sex, and everything else is really great, but I don’t love her because love isn’t real. You can like someone, tolerate someone, you can like someone a lot, but love is a fairytale and I’m not four anymore.”

“Come on, you mean to tell me that you don’t want years with this girl?”

“If I can tolerate being with her that long and still like her as much as I do, then sure, why not? But love is like Santa, and I don’t believe in him either.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Go talk to Luce.”

Jan blushed a deep red. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” I looked up, a smirk spreading across my lips. “Didn’t you go home with her a while ago?”

“I took her home because her car broke down!”

“She wants you.”

“She doesn’t. She would have told me. She owns a bar and has goals in life and is older than me, she’d see me like a kid if she found out I was 19.”

“It’s four years. She only runs this bar because her dad died and her brother left it to her when he ran off with that whore.”

“She doesn’t want me, she needed a ride home.” She missed her shot and groaned in anger. “Look what you made me do.”

“Go get me a beer.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re doing this to get me to talk to Luce.” She mumbled as I chewed my lip in contemplation.

“Ask her out.”

“I’ll ask her out if you admit you’re in love with Sara.”

I was bent over lined up with the cue ball. I glared up at her and said, “I’m not doing that because I don’t. Love isn’t real, Jan. Now go ask that girl out.”

“Come on, Sara is great and she loves you and, whether you know it or not, you love her too.” Jan said.

“I don’t love anyone because it’s not real. Go ask her out!”

“No way!” Jan said.

“Hey Luce!” I shouted.

She turned to look at us and smiled warmly. “Hey Dev, I almost didn’t see you come in.”

“Come over here real quick for me, let John handle the bar for a moment.” She shrugged and put down the glass she was cleaning and started making her way over her.

Jan looked terrified. “What did you do?” She whispered.

“I’m helping you out, man. Just live with it.” I chuckled and watched her come closer.

“What’s up?” She asked, leaning against the pool table.

“Not too much. Got a girlfriend, I’m officially monogamous.”

“That would explain the amount of sad lonely girls around here. You’re ruining my business with your happiness.” She smiled to let me know she was joking.

I chuckled, “Well, there’s always Jan. She’s pining after some girl though, thinks that she’s too young.”

“Age is just a number.” Luce said, shrugging. “If you guys get along and you like each other, age shouldn’t matter.”

“I’ve tried telling her. It’s not even that big of a difference, really, she’s just scared. She needs to grow a pair and ask this girl out.”

“Who is it?” Luce asked. She was trying to act like she wasn’t very interested, but I could see it. She wanted to know if it was her.

I opened my mouth, but an elbow was thrown between my ribs. I yelped in pain and turned to Jan. “What the hell?”

“That’s private.” She mumbled.

Luce laughed and said, “Well, I better get back to the bar before John screws something up. Hey, Jan, can I get a ride home again? Sorry, I promise I’ll have my car back tonight.”

Jan smiled and nodded eagerly as she walked away.

“Ask her out.”

“No. She doesn’t like me.” She mumbled. “Tell Sara you love her.”

Great, we were back in this circle. “I don’t love her.”

“You do.”

“No she doesn’t.” I whipped around and Jan stiffened when she saw who spoke. Carrie.

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, now get the hell out of here.” Jan growled.

“I wish I didn’t know what I was talking about. Devon used to be great, treated everyone better than they deserved, but that’s changed now.”

“Because of you.” Jan snapped.

Carrie rolled her eyes, “Don’t go pointing fingers, it’s not nice.” She looked back at me. “Whatever the reason, she’s changed. We’re a lot alike now. Not treating people the way they deserve to be treated, getting treated better than we deserve. We’re not great people, not like the people we date are. I guess, in a way, that means we deserve each other. The two of us who can never fall in love and can never give back what we receive. Sad, isn’t it? That we’re only good for people like us. We only deserve people like us. I know you don’t want to admit it, Devon, but we’re the same. And that’s why we’re perfect for one another.”

“We’re not.” My heart was racing. She was wrong. I was good to Sara. I would never hurt her. She meant too much to me.

“We are. We hurt the people who love us because we don’t love them back.”

“Get out of here, Carrie. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Unlike you, Devon has a heart. The only reason she says she doesn’t love Sara is because you made her question the idea of love. They deserve each other, you don’t deserve anyone. Come on Dev, it’s getting late, Cooper’s probably getting lonely.”’

I nodded slowly, tearing my eyes away from Carrie. “He’s probably got to go out.” I muttered, following Jan out of the bar.

“Drive safe.” She said.

I nodded. “You gonna stay for Luce?”

“Yeah. Hey, don’t think about Carrie. You and Sara are good together. Everyone can see that.”

“Jan?”

“Yeah?”

“The truth is, I don’t know what I feel for her. I know I enjoy being with her, and I like her, but this feels different. I’ve never felt like this.”

“I know, and that’s why Carrie’s wrong.”

I nodded, not sure what I believed yet. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Sure.”

“Ask Luce out.”

“Tell Sara you love her.”

I didn’t say no, I just smiled slightly and pulled my helmet on before driving back home to walk Cooper and make dinner for Sara.

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Sorry for the wait! Hope you guys enjoy it! I've ben working so hard and I couldn't think of what I wanted to do until yesterday, so I wrote this up today. What did you think?