Married

My breath stopped and I just stared at Caleb. He had this big smile on his face as he looked between the two of us. "Alright you idiots, now is the time you look at each other." A quiet chuckle came from our friends and family.

I felt my feet move on their own, my entire body on autopilot, gravitating toward her, unable to stop from something so natural.

God she was gorgeous. I wasn't sure what else to say. I was barely even aware of her dress that she had spent weeks picking out, I didn't even know what her hair looked like, something I'm sure hours went into. I was focused on those green eyes. Sucking me in. And that smile that lit up her face, it wasn't forced and it wasn't nervous, it just belonged. It was natural.

"I love you." I heard myself whisper, once again on its own.

Her smile widened even more and she said, "I love you, Dev."

My heart.

Oh god.

What was happening.

This hadn't been a plan a few months ago.

This had been the opposite of what I wanted months ago.

And now?

Now it was all I wanted.

"Alright, shut up now, it's my turn." I wasn't sure if the crowd laughed again, probably, but I was just too absorbed in her to even notice.

Caleb cleared his voice and said, "Now, these two aren't religious and it's not like this is really official, I got certified or whatever like a week ago so I could do this, so in terms of what I'll be saying I'm not really sure. I guess this means I can kind of say whatever I want to. Devon of course was asking me like four times a day if I had become ordained and if I had written out everything I was going to say, and like a good brother, I lied." A laugh again. "But I suppose now I should figure something out.

"Some of you may not know that Devon and I are twins. Some of you won't know this because you don't really know Dev, or as my mother used to call her, Nic, something I took up in her place. Others don't know because we were separated when we were around eight. Our parents died and we went into the system, and it's just one of those things that happens sometimes. We lost each other until very recently. Our first meeting after so long was shortly after she started seeing Sara actually. We met for coffee one day and I asked her if she was seeing anyone. And she said Sara.

"The first time I met her was at the hospital. We were both there because Dev had been in a motorcycle accident after an ex showed up at her door, being awful as usual. So she went to blow off steam and next thing I know we're all standing in a hospital room, standing over her bed just waiting for her to wake up. That's how I met Sara. And I could tell it was the real deal that day. You could see it in her eyes before Dev woke up. And once she did, all I could see was love, even if they didn't see it yet.

"Next thing I know it's dogs and love and moving in together. And then an engagement. I come in on Christmas and she's wearing a ring on her finger. I don't want to say I called it, but, well, I called it.

"What I'm getting at is that I think everyone has seen how in love these two are. I don't think anyone can miss it. Honestly it's like sitting in your living room and not noticing your house is on fire. And with people so in love, I can't see any reason why they shouldn't get to be married.

"People joke about how marriage makes you miserable. About calling your wife the old ball and chain. About how you can't have fun anymore. There's this idea that marriage isn't fun. And I hate that, because if it's not fun why is everyone doing it? I don't like this whole thing of people saying that they hate getting married and then doing it anyways. Because I'm looking at these two and I know that that's something they'll never say. Devon will never call Sara a ball and chain, Sara will never laugh about how her life was ruined by getting married, nothing like that will never happen with these two. Because I don't think they could even joke about something like that. They're so desperately in love that jokes like that are impossible for them I think.

"Sara and Devon are in love. And I can't say much more than that because nothing can really describe what these two have. It looks like I've lost some of the young kids and it's probably only a matter of time before the rest of you are dropping like flies, so if you can bring out the rings that would be great." He finished with a laugh.

Neither of us had young people in our lives, no younger siblings or cousins or anything like that, so finding someone to walk down our little aisle with rings had been a bit of a challenge. So we chose our dog.

Cooper was being walked down the aisle, which was just a simple light blue strip of cloth that had been laid over the grass between the chairs, by my mother, who had eagerly volunteered for the job. His collar had been replaced with a bowtie and on his back as a small pillow (carefully attached with some ribbon that looped around his stomach) and our rings that had been secured with a piece of thread so they didn't fall as he strained against the leash, eager so get to his family.

When he got to us we each took the other's ring, mine was a simple, gold, "men's" band, and hers was a beautiful silver with a small diamond in the center.

My heart was pounding at this point.

"Devon, do you have vows you want to say?" Caleb asked. What an odd ceremony. Not very tradition but also had a lot of the traditions in it.

"I love you." I blurted out and Sara giggled, putting me a little more at ease. "I had vows, I really did, but there's something different about actually standing here in front of you and knowing that I'm really doing this right now, you know? So like, I had everything written out, but I just don't think it would really be the right thing to say anymore, so I'm just gonna...wing it.

"When I first saw you, I think my heart just stopped. You were sitting across the room and your friends were all laughing and looking between me and you. And then Taylor comes to us, telling us that you're interested, and honestly I had no way of stopping myself from going to you. I think that my entire life has been just me slowly gravitating toward you, every step. My body just trying to find solace in yours. And it's unfortunate that the part of my life I was at when we met made me so scared of the idea that I'd want to see you more than once, let alone every day for the rest of my life. I have never felt more at home than I do when I'm with you, and every day is the best day of my life. I have only ever had two girlfriends, and as you know one went terribly wrong. And then I met you. And I still find it hard to believe that someone like you thought that I was worth your while, but I swear to you that every day I'll try to be the best I can be for you. I want to be someone who makes you happy, who makes you stronger, who helps you grow, and who will love you with everything they have. Sara, I'm in love with you and I am vowing to be everything you deserve out of a wife for the rest of our lives."

Sara bit her bottom lip in the way she did when she was trying not to cry and then let out a shaky laugh and said, "Well shit, Dev, now if I read my vows it'll look like I'm less spontaneous!"

I laughed and said, "Sorry babe, just trying to keep you on your toes."

She took another deep breath and then said, "Well I also had vows all written up, but after that I gotta come up with something a little bit better. I can't help but think back to our first date, when you first opened up to me, and I think it was the first time you opened up to anyone in a long time. You told me about your family and about how your mom saw willow trees. You said every time she saw them she thought of secret lovers meeting beneath a weeping willow at night. You painted this picture and I don't think I've ever thought of them the same way. And here we are, under our very own. Albeit we're not so secret and it's day time right now, but I think your mom would have loved to be here to see this.

"And I remember when we first met, you were so different from who you are now. I know so many people break up because someone has changed, but honestly I can only love you more that you've changed. You're happier now. You're more of the person you want to be. And you're still changing, and I want to be there to help you flourish. I'm glad I've gotten to see all these different stages of you, because I've been able to see you become who you are, and that's what love is about. It's not asking someone to never change or saying you love someone exactly as they are, it's about saying that you love them for who they are and who they will be and everything in between. It's about saying that you want to be there for those changes. And Devon you may not be the girl I started dating, but you are the girl I'm going to marry. And one day you won't be the girl I married anymore but someone entirely different, and I can't wait to tell her I love her too. So, Devon, let's change and grow together. For the rest of our lives. Because you may not know it but you are everything I deserve, and more importantly, you're everything I want."

There was a moment where we were just looking at each other, my heart feeling like it was either going to stop or beat out of my chest and I wasn't sure which one. And then Caleb leaned in and whispered, "You guys forgot the rings part."

"Oh!" Sara said laughing and reached out and took my hand, sliding the ring on, and I did the same with hers when she had finished.

"Very good. Now, by the power vested in me from some online site I already forgot the name of, I pronounce you wife and wife, will one of the brides please kiss the other bride."

I placed a hand on the small of her back and pulled her into me, her body pressed against mine like it had been so many times before, but this time it was entirely different. I tiled my head down to her and with my other hand I touched her cheek, my thumb brushing along it gently. Her hands found their way to the back of my neck and I felt fingers feeling the stubble that had come in from the haircut I got two days ago.

We stayed there, looking at each other for a few moments, green eyes meeting blue, oceans against the land, the sky and the grass, like a view of Earth from space. And then I couldn't take it any longer.

We kissed.

And god was it a kiss.

It tasted like the rest of my life mixed with lavender and vanilla. It was sweet and soft and passionate and needy. It was desperate. It was loving. It was world and it was hers. It was everything I would ever need in my life.

And when we pulled away I was dizzy.

I smiled and took her hand and then finally looked over at our friends and family. And I raised it slightly and shook it. I could see Sara's mom who looked close to tears and her dad looked so proud.

There was some clapping and some actual tears, which was interesting to deal with, and a lot of hugging. Everyone was moving around now and I cleared my throat loudly and waved my hands above my head, "Hey guys, so we're actually moving this party down to the art gallery now, we have some nice boys and girls who are wanting to pack up these chairs and go home!" I smiled at the couple people in dark blue shirts and khaki pants who were standing off to the side with small smiled. One of the girls raised her hand slightly and waved to the many eyes that were now on them.

So we everyone piled into cars and began driving off, and Sara and I were finally able to get into the back of Riley's car together. He was driving, Luce in the passenger, and Caleb, Sara, and I were all in the back. We drove for a few minutes in silence, I could tell Riley was trying to build up her-his courage to tell Sara and Caleb, but Caleb was oblivious, staring out the window with a small smile on his face.

"So, uh, you guys. Since it's just us I thought we could talk about something." Riley glanced worriedly in the mirror before focusing on the road again.

"Sure, what's up?" Sara asked innocently, pretending we had never talked this morning.

Caleb looked back to us, and nodded. "Everything okay?"

"Well, I didn't want to take away from the whole wedding thing, but I also think you guys should know. I, uh, well I'm transgender. I'm a guy. You know, he and him and his and all that kind of thing. And I go by Riley, not Jan, and I just, you're my friends and I've kept it from everyone for a while but I can't do that anymore. Nobody else knows yet, I wanted you guys to know first. And I get it if you're not cool with it or you don't understand it or anything, I completely understand if this changes something—"

"Hush now. You're one of our best friends and your gender never had anything to do with it before, why would that change now?" Sara said, cutting him off before he could finish his babbling.

"Yeah, I mean, I never like you because you were a girl, I liked you because you were a cool person. You're not planning on changing that anytime soon, are you?" Caleb asked lightly.

Riley smiled, "No, no I plan to keep being the wonderful person I am."

"In fact I think he's even more wonderful now. On a whole new level." Luce commented and reached over to squeeze his leg briefly.

"But I don't want you guys telling anyone yet, this is Devon and Sara's day and I'm not sure I'm quite ready to go public with the whole thing yet, I need some time to really figure it all out more and get more comfortable. So, if we could keep this kind of quiet and I could answer any questions you had about anything after tonight, that would be great. I just wanted to tell you guys, it didn't seem right without you knowing." He said, a big smile plastered to his face. Things were going well. I hoped they kept going like this for him.

"We support you, man. We always will." I said and I leaned forward to grab his shoulder. "Now, let's get to the party part of all this."

We arrived last, everyone else was already seated, we had decided to do dinner and speeches and all of that before we began the drinking and dancing. So we walked in, hand in hand, with the rest of the car trailing behind us and up onto a long table that was in front of everyone else. And also in front of a large picture Riley had taken of us sometime without our knowledge. It was just the two of us gazing into each other's eyes, completely oblivious, I think it may have been during Christmas but I couldn't be so sure.

When we made it up to the table I pulled a chair out for Sara and she sat down. Riley did the same for Luce and then scurried back to my side, Caleb beside him. I stayed standing for a minute, all eyes focused on me. I laughed nervously and pointed to the picture. "I didn't know about this part, it was a surprise. Let's just say I'm thankful I don't have a giant pimple or anything." A collective chuckle came from the audience. "So, uh, I just wanted to thank everyone for coming and I wanted to say that it means the world to us to see so many of the people we love here with us today. We never thought that this would happen! I mean, I didn't even want to get married when I met Sara, and here I am! Everyone has been so supportive of this, and I couldn't ask for anything else in the world. You all mean so much to me. And those of you who I don't know yet, you mean a lot to Sara, and that means you mean a lot to me. So, if you haven't noticed, I'm not so great at this talking thing, so I'm going to pass it over to my Best Man." I gestured to Riley and he stood up.

I sat down as he cleared his throat. He placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "This woman is my best friend, as most of you know. And being with her through this whole experience has been work." He laughed and said, "I was the one who convinced her to ask Sara on a date. I wrote out an itinerary and picked out her outfit and let her borrow my car. I like to think that I knew she needed Sara, that I was some matchmaker. But really I knew that Devon needed someone again. It was time to move on. In all honesty, I didn't expect Dev and Sara to get this far, I just knew I wanted Devon to find someone who she could have feelings for. And after that first date, oh yeah, I saw it then. They were meant for each other. But I am a terrible Best Man in a way because I was willing to give Devon to anyone who I thought she could really have feelings for, at least for a time. And that sounds odd, but like I said, I knew Devon needed someone more than her Best Man in her life. I knew she couldn't keep going through her life without anyone but me. As much as I selfishly wanted all the attention," she-he smirked, "I knew it wasn't mine to have. At least not all of it. Sara, honey, you were just the first girl I saw spark something in Devon. And now I see why. She will love you for the rest of her life, my only request is that you let her and you love her back just the same."

Sara smiled and nodded, "Forever."

"I'm not sure what Best Man speeches are about, I think in movies they show them making fun of the groom, but I think that's a weird way to use this time where I have everyone's attention, so instead I'd like to say one thing to all of you." He paused, making eye contact with everyone. "The blue Honda Civic still has its lights on." He waited for the laughing to die down, and one man pretended to jump up and run outside before his wife chased him down and brought him back. "That was a joke, of course, but I couldn't pass it up. What I really wanted to say was give all your love to everyone you meet. There is no limit to your hearts. And Devon here is proof of that. She has loved everyone in her life so deeply that for the longest time she was afraid it was a weakness. And now here she is, with so many loves of her life in one room, and so many more around the world. Because the love of your life isn't just your romantic partner. It is friends, family, strangers you meet who smile or who brush against you on accident. And most importantly it is you. You have to be one of the loves of your life. You have to love yourself to be yourself, because if you can't accept yourself and celebrate yourself then you're going to constantly pretend to be someone else. It is very very hard, near impossible sometimes, but there is nothing more important than finding out how to love yourself. And luckily for everyone, you don't have to do it alone." He looked to all of us now, Sara, Caleb, Luce, Taylor, friends from class and work who had also become bridesmaids and groomsmen. "So that's my sappy speech, let's get to the eating and then we can start the awful dancing and drinking!"

And that's what we did. We ate, I had a delicious steak, and then when everyone was ready it was time for Sara to dance with her father.

They went to the dance floor, Sara's beautiful dress sweeping elegantly against the floor and her father with his broad shoulders and his chin raised in pride. Music began to play and they danced around the space we had set aside, some of our favorite pieces in the gallery had been placed on the walls around this area. And after a minute or so I strode in, trying to look confident and cool, but on the inside I was shaking and so nervous that I would step on her foot or fall.

I tapped his shoulder and asked, "Mind if I cut in?"

He smiled and stepped to the side, letting me smoothly take her hands and lead her in a dance of our own. And slowly, other coupled joined us, Luce and Riley being the first to take their place beside us.

She changed into a shorter, more freeing dress after that dance and I took off my jacket and we danced the night away, drinking and cutting into cake.

They were right when they said it was the happiest day of your life.

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OH MY GOD YOU GUYS IT HAPPENED. IT'S OKAY TO CRY A LITTLE.

Now, I think I'm going to end it here. Maybe do an epilogue with the ending I had originally planned, but this is a nice ending too. I haven't quite decided, but I think this is a good ending. I think this is happy and nice and not cliffhangery like I had kind of planned. So I think I'll mark it complete, and if it isn't the end then I'll unmark it. But for now, this is nice. I'm happy with this.

So thank you all for your support of this story. Thank you for being here and thank you for going through all of this with me. Thank you for falling in love with my characters and finding them in yourself and I hope you all learn to love yourself and find all this love in your heart to give to everyone you find. Give love out and you'll find that you get a lot in return.

Shameless plug time, if you want to read something that was edited and really flows together and everything and you want to support me a little more, I have a fantasy fiction/romance book out. It's called Life Beyond the Temple, it's got magic and lesbian love triangles and gay elves and the second book will have a lot on gender and different sexualities. Also dragons. Shhhh, spoiler alert, no one is supposed to know that yet.

Thank you again. I love you all.

If you're looking for more of these characters, you can find them in a book I'm writing about Riley and his story called The Secret Lives of Fireflies. If you're looking for something a little less realistic, well I have plenty of that too, that's actually my specialty and I think I'm better at fantasy/sci fi than romance, but I needed this book at a point in my life, and I write what I need. And I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did. I love you guys. Have a good day and a good tomorrow. I'll see you soon.

The End.

-Nikolai Joslin