Brother of Mine

I had walked outside after that, I didn’t want Jan listening in. When I came back inside, Jan immediately started pestering me about it.

“Who was it?”

“Caleb.”

“Why does that name sound familiar.” He eyebrows were furrowed and she was looking up at the ceiling while she racked her brain.

“He’s my brother.”

“Shit! You mean the brother you haven’t seen since you were what, 7?”

“8.”

“What’d he say?”

“He said he’s been trying to make the call for a couple months now, and that he finally did it. He wants to meet up.”

“When? Where?”

“Tomorrow. We’re going to go to some café around here he likes. He moved here about 6 months ago, and then he hunted me down and found out we live in the same city. He got my number, and after a while, he called.”

“Who knows how many times you passed your brother on the street and never knew it.”

“Yeah.” I was dazed. I couldn’t think of anything. My brother was here. Caleb. I didn’t know what he looked like now. I remembered his light brown hair and freckles and his missing front tooth. I didn’t even know who my brother was anymore. “I’m going to see Sara.”

“You just got back.” She pouted.

“I know, and I’m sorry. Pool Tuesday? We can talk about everything then, I promise.” I smiled and said, “You don’t need to stay here this time, I’m taking my bike.”

“At least that’s a good thing. Hey, don’t freak out too much, bad thing will happen if you freak out too much.”

“Thanks for the pep talk.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed my keys from the bowl and ran down the stair to my bike.

I knocked on Sara’s door and waited impatiently for a minute or so. When she finally opened it she looked a little shocked, “I thought you had to go home.”

“I did, and then I got a phone call from Caleb.”

“You mean Caleb, your brother Caleb?”

I nodded and she pulled me inside.

We sat down on the couch and she took my hand in hers. “What’d he say?”

“He lives in Seattle and he wanted to meet up for some coffee. Catch up and all that.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. I have no idea what I’m going to say. I don’t even know my own brother, my twin for Christ’s sake! I got a good life, but what about him? How long did he bounce around in the system? And how many horrible people took him in?”

“You couldn’t stop that.” She squeezed my hand gently. “He’s your brother. He wants to get to know you now, and that’s better than not knowing him at all.”

“He looked for me. He looked for me and I barely ever thought of him.”

“You had other things on your mind.”

“I’m sure he did too! But he still looked for me…”

“Maybe you didn’t look for him because you felt guilty about having a family. Maybe you didn’t think he’d want to see you anyways and so you wouldn’t look for him because you were afraid of what would happen when you found him.”

“Maybe.” I whispered.

“It’ll be ok.”

“He’s a stranger to me now… I haven’t seen him in eleven years.”

“So get to know him again.”

“Yeah.” I said quietly.

I spent all of Monday freaking out. What do I wear to see my brother for the first time since I was a child? What does he look like? Does he still have those freckles? What do I say? Is he in love? Does he have a wife and a kid? Am I making a mistake?

And I sat in a parking space looking at the café for about ten minutes before I finally walked in. I wasn’t sure if he was already there. How would I know if he was? It’d been eleven years; he didn’t look like the boy I knew.

I sent him a text telling him I was there and I sat down at one of the two person tables in the café and fiddled with my hands. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned to see a young man standing there. A nervous crooked smile, short light brown hair, and blue eyes. Even without those freckles, I knew who this man was.

“Caleb.” I whispered and stood up.

“You haven’t changed a bit Nic.”

I wrapped my arms around him and he hugged me tightly. He was the only one who called me that. My mom used to, but...then the car crashed… My middle name was Nicole, and my mom and dad used to call me Nic, and Caleb started calling me it too.

“You lost your freckles.” I said when I finally let go.

“You got taller.”

“So did you.” I grinned.

He sat down in the other chair and I sat with him. “I’m guessing you dyed your hair. Looks nice.”

“Thanks. How have you been? I mean, for the past eleven years what’s been going on?”

“After we got separated I got tossed around for a few years. Couple bad families, but most of them weren’t horrible. When I was 13, a nice family took me in. We moved to New York when I was 14 and I went to high school there. I turned 18 and stayed there for a while, and then I decided Seattle seemed like a nice place and came here.”

“Any girlfriends?” I asked.

“Not since high school. What about boys?”

My heart was racing; I wanted my brother to accept me more than my adopted family. All I wanted was for him not to hate me. “I’m actually a lesbian.”

“Alright, any girls?” He didn’t seem fazed.

“Actually…yeah. My first girlfriend since high school.”

“Tell me about the girl in high school and about this girl.” He smiled. He was genuinely interested in my life.

“Well, the girl in high school, Carrie, I dated for three years. We were getting ready to graduate and I went out and bought a ring. I was going to her house to propose, and I didn’t knock because she wasn’t supposed to be doing anything, and I walked in on her screwing some other woman. I think I tossed the ring into a river, but I don’t really remember. This new girl though…her name is Sara. She was actually supposed to be a one night stand…” I bet that gets me bonus points with him… I thought sarcastically. “but she’s wonderful. Maybe you can meet her sometime.” Once again, my heart was pounding in my chest. What if he didn’t want to see me again?

“I’d love to.” He had this big grin when he said it.

“So, tell me about your life here, what do you do?”

“I work at a laser tag place around here. I’m applying for next semester at an art school though.”

“You loved to draw when we were kids, but you drew like any six year old.” I laughed.

He smiled and said, “The talent came when the freckles left.”

“I don’t live too far, and the food doesn’t look too appetizing, want me to make some dinner?”

“You cook?”

“Well, I’m in school for baking and pastries, but I cook real food too. Come on.”

“Alright, that doesn’t sound too bad.”

He followed me back to my little apartment and I opened up the door for us. “Feel free to make yourself at home. Is there anything you don’t eat?”

“I eat everything. I’m not a vegetarian or allergic to anything.” He was milling around the living room and I went into the kitchen.

I had just put the ham in the oven when I heard a knock on the door. (It was a ham steak with brown sugar and pineapples on top. The brown sugar would become a glaze in the oven. Simple to make and delicious in my opinion.)

“I’ll get it.” I told Caleb, who had turned on the TV and was sitting on the couch.

I was smiling when I opened up the door, hoping to see Sara.

“Hey there.” She said when I opened up the door.

“What the hell do you want?”

“I thought I’d stop by and see you. I heard you were in Seattle now.” She was smiling at me.

“Go away. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Why not?” She pouted.

“You fucking another woman on the day I wanted to ask you to marry me is still a sore spot for me. Now go away.”

“Dev, come on, we were in love once.” Her straight blonde hair was at her shoulders and her light blue eyes were begging for something that I didn’t want to acknowledge.

“I was in love, you were fucking other women.”

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t love you.”

“I find that hard to believe Carrie. Now go away.”

“I didn’t know you were living here.”

“That’s because I didn’t want you to know.”

“I found out through one of my friends. I’ve been living here for about a year now, and a few weeks ago a friend tells me about this girl she met in a bar, said she was the best fuck of her life.” Carrie’s grin widened. “Said her name was Devon Raines, and so I thought I’d find you and say hi.”

“Goodbye Carrie.”

I started to close the door, but it was only half closed when Caleb came up. “Who is it? Is it Sara? I’d like to meet her.” He had this huge grin and he pulled open the door and stretched out his hand for her.

“Who’s the cutie?”

“My brother.” I growled and watched her take his hand.

“You never said you had a brother.”

“You weren’t listening when I wasn’t talking about you. Caleb, this is Carrie. My ex.”

He dropped her hand like it was a hot coal and gently pushed me behind him. He gripped the door so hard that his entire hand was white. “Get the fuck out of here. I heard what you did to my sister. You’re not welcome here. Get the fuck out.” And he slammed the door shut. He looked back at me and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry about that, I just…you’re my little sister and I really don’t like her…”

“Little by about four minutes.” I chuckled and hugged him again. “Thank you.” I whispered.

He left after dinner and I said I’d call sometime this week about meeting my girlfriend. He had been gone for about half an hour, which meant I’d had a half hour to fume about Carrie dropping by.

I decided to clear my head with a drive. It was warm out, and I knew a great empty, long, winding road about 45 minutes from the city. It was beautiful out there. I couldn’t think of a better place to take a time out and forget everything about what happened.

I was still thinking when I got out there, still remembering everything I hated about Carrie and how she just showed up. The problem with thinking and driving is that you go faster when you’re angry sometimes. It wasn’t too much of a problem though, it was an empty stretch of road, people barely ever came here. That’s why I was here, I didn’t want to deal with anything.

I was still thinking of Carrie when I heard the blaring honk and felt myself flying through the air.