Hospital Stay

Blinding pain. That’s all I knew. I wasn’t sure where it hurt or why it hurt, I couldn’t even figure out where I was or what happened, all I knew was that I was in the most pain I’d ever been in. I couldn’t tell if I was screaming or rolling on the ground or if I was still in the air.

I felt like I was there for forever. I heard a voice, but it was muffled. Everything was dull. The world was blurry and I couldn’t hear what the person was saying, the only clear thing was the pain. I couldn’t take it anymore. My body couldn’t take the pain. I just let that darkness take hold and bring me to sleep.

I woke up in a white room. White walls, white ceiling, white sheets. I couldn’t remember where I was, or why I was there. My head hurt like a bitch. It was throbbing and throbbing and my world was spinning.

“Dev?” Who was that? Why did it sound like she was crying? Where was I?

“Nic? Are you awake?” His voice was strained. What was going on? Who were these people? Why did everything hurt?

Just as I was starting to fall back into that blackness, I heard another voice, “What did she do this time?” That one sounded familiar too.

“Get out.” Said the man’s voice.

And then it was gone.

“Ah, Ms. Raines, glad to see you’re awake again.” He was so loud and the lights were too bright.

“Who are you?” My voice sounded like sandpaper and it hurt to speak. Hell, everything hurt. Breathing hurt.

“I’m Dr. Morgan. You were on your bike and got into a bit of an accident. You’re lucky you wore your leather jacket or more than your hands would have been torn up.”

I struggled to sit up and a nurse held a cup of water to my mouth, which I drank from eagerly. My head was swimming from the effort of sitting up, but I was determined not to black out again. “What do you mean?”

“Well, your hands are all torn up from you sliding on the road. The rest of you is in even worse shape. You broke your right leg and dislocated your right shoulder and a couple fractured ribs. You’re pretty lucky though. It could’ve been a lot worse.”

“Shit.” My voice was still rough, and it still hurt to say much of anything.

He laughed, “That’s one reaction to it. Now, you have some visitors, so I’m going to send them in if that’s okay. They haven’t left since they found out.” He smiled and said, “You have some loyal friends.”

I nodded and he left. I had about 30 seconds of being alone before the door opened again and Sara flew through it. She hugged me tightly and I winced in pain. “Hey there.” I said and she finally let go.

She had tear stains and she sniffed. “Goddammit Dev!! You could have fucking died!” She yelled.

“Thanks for asking if I was ok.” I smirked at her and looked around her to see Caleb leaning against the wall. He looked like he felt a little out of place, so I gestured with my head for him to come over here. “Come on, I want to introduce you to my girlfriend.”

“We had plenty of time to talk while we waited for you.” He smiled and walked over anyways though.

I held up my hand that wasn’t in a sling, it was wrapped in a thick gauze and I felt nauseous thinking about it. “Caleb, this is my girlfriend Sara. Sara, this is my brother Caleb.”

“And I’m Carrie.” A voice came from the doorway.

Caleb winced and Sara adopted a scowl. I peered around them to see my least favorite woman in the world. Her smile was sickeningly sweet and she had her arms crossed while she leaned on the doorframe. She pushed off of it when I looked at her and started walking towards me.

“Go away Carrie. I’m done with you. I’m done with everything to do with you. I’m happy now, alright? I have a wonderful girlfriend and my brother is here, I’m going to school for what I love and I’m living my life. I don’t need your crazy ass anywhere near me.”

“Don’t say that.” She adopted that pouting face again, like she was insulted. “Remember? You wanted to marry me.”

“Remember that woman who had her fingers tangled in your hair while you ate her out? Because I do. Stay the hell away from me Carrie.”

“You’d rather be with her than try me again?” She cast a dirty look at Sara.

Nobody looks at my girl that way.

“I’d rather be with a man than try you again. Sara is great. She’s damn near perfect. Leave or I’ll call security to take you out.”

Carrie glared at us, but eventually started walking out. “I’m not done Dev.”

When she finally left, I felt like all the energy had been taken out of me. I fell back onto my pillows and took a deep breath that made me wince in pain. “Guess this means sex is out for a while.” I said jokingly as Sara crawled onto my bed with me and Caleb sat on the chair beside it.

“There’s some stuff we can do.” I could tell she was still worried, but that she was trying to not to act like it for me. “And what did you mean ‘damn near perfect’?”I laughed, but had to stop when I felt the searing pain in my chest.

Her face fell and she reached over and placed her hand on my stomach. “Don’t worry, just a fractured rib or two. It’s fine.” I placed my hand on top of hers. I thought at what Jan would say and I sighed. “I need to call Jan.”

“She’s here; she just went to get some food from the cafeteria.” Caleb said.

And at that precise moment she barged into the room and said, not too quietly either, “What the hell? You were going to see your brother, not going to get yourself killed!”

“I’m still alive.” I mumbled.

“What would I have done if you died? What reason would I have to go to the bar? I’d never get to see Luce again! And then I’d have no one to play pool with! What would I do with this twenty? Put it in your grave? Don’t you dare do that to me again you selfish bastard!” She looked positively livid.

“It’s not like I meant to get in an accident.” I mumbled.

“You’re supposed to keep your damn eyes on the road! Seriously! What were you doing? Closing your eyes?”

“Look, Carrie had just shown up at my house, so I took a drive to clear my head. I was thinking too much and didn’t see the car until it was too late. I’ll be fine in a couple months, and I’ll go to the bar with you, okay? I’m alright.” I smiled at her and she just let out a puff of breath. “It’s okay Jan. Really.” I was the injured one and I was the one who was taking this the best.

“I don’t understand what she was doing here anyways. She thinks she can just show up after pulling that stunt with you? She cheated on you, with God knows how many women and men before you found out the day you were going to propose.”

“I know the story Jan.” I smiled weakly, “I was there.”

She just huffed and sat down next to Caleb.

“Oh yeah, and Caleb, this is my best friend Jan. Jan, this is my brother Caleb.”

I was able to go home that night, but nobody would take me back to my apartment because they were all worried about me, so I ended up going home with Sara.

Because of the dislocated shoulder, I couldn’t use crutches to walk; instead I had to be in a wheelchair. When we got to Sara’s few steps that led up into her house, we spent about 20 minutes debating whether or not I could do it until I finally stood up and almost toppled over. Sara’s hands caught me and I smiled at her. I lifted up my gauzed hand and said, “Little hard to grab the railing. Will you help me up?”

She rolled her eyes, but helped me walk up the three steps ever so carefully. She then dragged me into bed and helped me pull on some shorts and a shirt. I don’t think I’d ever been so embarrassed in my life. I needed help to get dressed, and I’d need help to shower, and I’d be doped up on drugs for a while.

Afterwards, she crawled into bed with me and rested her head on my chest while she absent mindedly traced patterns on my stomach. It felt good, like I could stay here forever with her. I’d never felt that way. I felt different from this with Carrie. She treated me terribly, she ignored me when we were with other people and she would only want to be with me if she had no one else who could hang out with her. I was her last choice. She treated me badly. She would argue with me about who I was and she would never leave something alone. She’d pester me and pester me and then have some comment to say when I told her.

She’d bug me about what was wrong and pout and act hurt when I didn’t tell her, and when I broke and told her, she’d say that it was stupid or just not really care about what was bothering me. She would ‘accidently’ call or insinuate that I was stupid or not smart enough to do something. She’d flirt with everything that moved right in front of me, but I convinced myself it was nothing. She did that and so much more, and I thought it was love. She rarely ever told me she loved me, I’d always say it first, and I never…felt loved. She would say it, but when I looked at her or talked to her, I didn’t feel it.

I just assumed something was wrong with me. I thought that I wasn’t good enough. I sometimes even told her I wasn’t good enough and she’d just wave it off, not really saying anything about it. I was in love with her with every part of my soul, but it felt different with Sara. It felt real with Sara. Carrie and I were always physical, we couldn’t just cuddle or sleep, it would always turn to sex. Right now with Sara tracing lovely patterns on my stomach and seeming to be perfectly content doing just that, it was different.

I felt like I deserved how Carrie treated me, I thought that was the best I could do. I spoiled her rotten and gave her anything she ever asked for and more. I felt like that was everything I would ever get, and I was okay with that.

Sara makes me feel...warm. She makes me feel like I’m a good person, like I’m worth something. She makes me feel like people actually care, and that they can care about me. She makes me feel like her equal, not something lower than her that has to make up for it through gifts and unconditional love and all of that.

Sara made me feel special.

----------------

How Carrie treated Dev is a lot like how my ex treated me in my relationship. Our relationship didn't end with me wanting to propose and her screwing another woman, but sometimes I wonder. She was dating a man about a week after our breakup (oh, she loved me so much she said) and she's been with about 8 guys (all of which I had to listen to her brag about or complain about in class because she never just shuts the fuck up and she sat behind me in class. I thought summer would be the stop of all of this listening about her life, and nope, all my friends want to talk about is her. I don't give a damn about her life, just leave me the fuck alone about it.) Anyways, that's what the whole thing about Carrie came from.

Anyways, hope you enjoy the story as much as I do, lemme know what you think.