Failure to Match: Chapter 33

Karma came for me the very next morning in the form of a freshly shaven, already dressed Jackson Sinclair knocking on my door at 6:47 a.m., less than two hours after I’d fallen asleep.

“What are you doing?” I croaked, squinting at him as he stalked toward the bed.

Instead of hissing at the intrusion, Toebeans got up from where he was sleeping (on my neck), did a big stretch (again on my neck), and swished his fat tail expectantly (in my face). The giant servant had arrived to bring him pets; this pleased him greatly.

Jackson immediately went for the ear scratches, smiling when Toebeans leaned into his touch. “Good morning, handsome.”

My heart flipped and fluttered. “What’s going on?” I asked again, barely managing to keep my voice even. “Why are you here so early?”

“I’m taking you to work with me. You should get dressed.”

I blinked. “I’m only supposed to shadow you at work for the first two weeks.”

“And I’m requesting an additional day.” The soft smile that tugged at his mouth when Toebeans started to purr would be burned into my memory for eternity. He was almost as enchanted by my cat as I was by him. “You wanted to see me actually work, so come see me actually work.”

I really would’ve appreciated a heads-up on the change of plans. Maybe I’d have thought twice about sneaking into the library last night and opted for some actual sleep instead.

(This was, obviously, a lie I was choosing to tell myself.)

I slid out of bed, rubbing my eyes as I dragged my feet to the bathroom. It took maybe twenty minutes for me to get dressed, dab on a light layer of makeup, and tuck my curls into a somewhat neat bun, but that was enough time for Jackson Sinclair to obliterate me.

When I walked back out, he was sitting on my bed with a very satisfied-looking Toebeans loaf purring on his lap.

“Um…”

Jackson beamed up at me. “He’ll growl if I try to cuddle him, but this is already pretty great.”

My heart burst.

It inflated, took out my lungs, and fucking burst into heart-shaped confetti and circus music.

It was me. I was the clown.

“We should go.” I was done. I could not with the two of them like this.

Jackson frowned like asking him to move was the craziest, most nonsensical thing that could have possibly come out of my mouth. So I turned around and ripped open the cat food cabinet.

Toebeans immediately unloafed and hopped onto the floor, and I didn’t need to look at Jackson to know how unhappy he was with my betrayal. I kept my back to him as I watched Toebeans munch away at his breakfast, my arms crossed and my shoulders bunched.

Everything was fine, I just needed to refocus. As skeptical as I was about Imogen’s premonitions, they were starting to feel like a lifeline. Maybe Daniel wouldn’t come on as a client. Maybe we’d hit it off and… I don’t know, but anything would be better than the current path I was set on.

I was dangerously close to falling for the most unattainable man in the world, getting my heart shattered, and never recovering from it. I’d never get over this man if I allowed myself to fall in love with him. I knew that to be a fundamental, irrefutable truth. Water was wet, the Earth was round, and if I, Jamie Paquin, fell in love with Jackson Sinclair, I’d never get over him.

Daniel was officially my best-case scenario, and since my meeting with him was in less than twelve hours, all I really had to do was not fall in love with Jackson before then.

Totally doable.

I had this. Everything was fine.

Nothing was fine. Not one thing.

Listen, I knew I’d messed up with the library thing. I knew it was wrong and that I deserved some sort of punishment for violating Jackson’s privacy, but this… this was genuinely unfair.

I gritted my teeth, willing my stupid, stupid heart to stop flip-flopping and allow enough oxygen to reach my brain so I could actually fucking think for one stupid second.

The problem was, of course, Jackson. Instead of sitting in his office all day, we’d hopped from boardroom to boardroom, with little breaks in between so he could take calls and respond to urgent emails.

It was fucking lewd, how disgustingly competent he was at leading these meetings. He had this calm, firm confidence about him, and actually listened when his employees contributed, regardless of their age or job title or level of seniority. In fact, I’d sat through six of these stupid things so far today, and he hadn’t made a single decision until he was sure no one else had anything more to contribute to the topic.

It was so fucking sexy. I hated it so much.

I glanced at the clock behind Jackson’s head for what must have been the tenth time within the last five minutes, not thinking much of it. I really didn’t think he’d notice.

While I’d spent the whole day watching him, he’d spent it ignoring me. That was not a complaint—it was what we encouraged our clients to do when we shadowed them. If they forgot we were there, it increased the accuracy of our data. The point was, I’d grown so used to being invisible that when my gaze landed back on Jackson and found him glaring at me, my pulse kicked.

I didn’t look at the time again after that.

When the meeting was finally over, he didn’t so much as spare me a glance before storming out of the room, didn’t say a single word as I struggled to keep up with his long strides. Once we were tucked into the private elevator leading up to his office, I started on my apology.

“Sorry. I swear I was paying attention.” And I had four pages of detailed notes to prove it. When he continued to stare straight ahead, I reached for his sleeve. “Hey, seriously, I didn’t mean anything by⁠—”

I barely had a chance to process the fact that he’d smashed the red emergency button before I was lifted off my feet and pinned against cool metal, my legs pulled around his waist.

His lips crushed to mine, stealing my breath. And instead of pushing him away, instead of telling him that this needed to stop like I’d promised myself I would, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back. Our tongues tangled, our teeth clashed, and my whole existence erupted into sparks.

I’d been lying to myself all day. I didn’t want Daniel to be a lifeline. If I got to choose, I’d choose Jackson over and over and over again. I swear, if there was even a small chance he’d ever allow himself to love me back, I’d never look at another man again.

A pathetic, whimpering whine ripped out of me the second he broke the kiss. But I didn’t have the energy anymore to care.

To my immediate relief, he placed a tender, soothing kiss on the corner of my mouth.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all fucking day,” he murmured, pressing his hips tighter against mine. I bit back a moan at the rock-hard feel of him, my core clenching around nothing. “All fucking day, Jamie. While you’ve been stealing glances at the clock, counting down the minutes until your date, all I’ve been able to think about is this.”

I shivered when he moved his hips again, grinding against me. My pulse was thundering, heat simmering under my skin.

“I’m tempted to take you to my office, lock the door, and make you get on your knees for me.” His fingers dug into my flesh with promise. “I want you sucking me off before your date, and I want you swallowing every last fucking drop so if he tries to kiss you, you can let him know exactly what he’ll be tasting.”

Holy shit.

That was… so filthy I didn’t know how to respond. But holy shit did my body like it. His words washed over me like liquid fire. The ache in my core was bordering on unbearable.

“You’re driving me out of my fucking mind. You want to talk about red flags? I’m fucking territorial over you.” He traced his lips over my jaw, all the way to my ear. “I should have fucked you last night. I should have made you beg and scream until you forgot about him.”

“Why didn’t you?” I’d waited for him, even though I shouldn’t have. And the longer I’d waited, the stronger the urge to go to the library had become. The craving had been for him. The closeness and intimacy I would have gotten if he’d come to my room.

“I needed to finalize our agreement with my lawyers. It took longer than I thought it would.”

My chest squeezed. I couldn’t muster the energy to argue with him this time. Instead, I lifted my chin and allowed his mouth better access to my neck.

There was a good chance there was at least one security camera in here. There was an even better chance I didn’t care.

“When do you have to leave for your date?”

“You should maybe stop calling it that,” I breathed. “It’s a business meeting.”

“Don’t go.”

“I have to. It’s a business meeting.”

“If I stopped you from going, would you hate me for it?”

“Probably, seeing as how it’s a business meeting.”

“Might be worth it.” He nipped at my skin, then licked it soothingly. “He wants to fuck you.”

I bit back a smile. “We’re not allowed to sleep with our clients. It’s a massive conflict of interest.” At this point, it didn’t really matter if he knew. Or maybe it did, and I just didn’t care.

“You think he’s your soulmate,” he argued.

“I didn’t say it, Imogen did.”

“You weren’t listening properly.”

“Spoiled pet, the letter D, tattoos. Pretty sure I got it all.”

There was a beat of silence before he pulled his head back. “She didn’t just say tattoos.”

My amusement slowly waned. “What? What else did she…” A scar. She said it could be a bunch of tattoos or prominent scars.

Hope—pure, unfiltered, foolish hope—tore through me, slashing my heart open. My eyes flared, scanning his face, his jaw, his neck. “Do you have any? Scars?”

It didn’t help that he’d always kept his clothes on during sex. I’d assumed it was another kink; part of the power imbalance thing we both enjoyed. It hadn’t occurred to me until now that there may have been another reason for it.

He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it… and said nothing.

I blanked. Every thought I had running through my head vanished in an instant, and all I could do was stare up at him, my lips parted, my lungs frozen.

His hands ran over my thighs, his steel length hot and prominent through the layers separating us. I remained silent while he continued to struggle. Sometimes people just needed a bit of time to put their words together and that was okay. He could take however long he needed. I’d still be right here.

And then it happened. I saw the change in his eyes when he made the decision. He took in a breath and⁠—

“Sir? Is everything okay?”

You have got to be kidding me.

The emergency button had been pressed like ten full minutes ago! They couldn’t have had worse timing if they’d tried.

Jackson sighed and tapped his forehead lightly to mine. “Everything’s fine.”

“Would you like to start moving again, sir?”

No.

“Yes.”

“Right away.”

The elevator started its smooth slide upward just as my feet hit the floor. Goosebumps spread over every inch of my skin, my body protesting the loss of heat as he stepped back.

It was a severely unpleasant sensation.

“What time do you have to leave?” Jackson asked, sobering.

I didn’t want to answer him. “A few minutes, probably. If I don’t want to be late.”

He nodded. “I’ve arranged for a driver to take you there and bring you back. She’s waiting for you downstairs.”

The elevator came to a smooth halt; the doors slid open; Jackson didn’t move. His gaze was stuck to mine, his jaw and throat working silently, almost like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how. Then he blinked away from me, his chin dipping as he scrubbed a hand over it.

“I’ll see you later, then,” he said.

My stomach sank, disappointment tugging hard enough at my chest to make it ache as he walked out of the elevator. The doors began shutting behind him… right before a hand shot out and stopped them from closing all the way.

The second they reopened, Jackson stormed back inside, cupped my face, and kissed me until my toes curled, my knees wobbled, and my head spun.

“It’s not him,” he whispered against my lips. “It’s not him. Come back to me, Jamie.”

And it broke my brain in half.