Twisted Emotions: Chapter 17

KIARA

I was a nervous wreck. This was the first time I’d be returning to Baltimore since marrying Nino, after the bloody sheets scandal. Giulia’s description of the aftermath of that day was probably softened for my sake.

I’d be the center of attention. People would whisper behind my back. They would judge me for actions that weren’t even my own.

Nino stepped up to me. “We should head out now. The plane ride takes almost five hours, and we need to be at your uncle’s house around seven p.m.”

I nodded and my stomach tightened even more.

“Where’s your dress?” he asked.

I pointed toward the dark blue modest dress hanging on the door. It was one of the dresses Aunt Egidia had bought for me a couple of years back. It was the safe choice.

Nino shook his head once. He walked into our walk-in closet and emerged a few minutes later with the long red silk dress I bought a few weeks ago.

My eyes widened. “If I wear that, people will be staring even more.”

Nino tilted his head. “You are a Falcone, my wife, and you won’t try to hide. You will hold your head high and show them that they are beneath you. Show them how beautiful you are. Let them stare.”

I blinked and nodded mutely. He made it sound so easy.

Remo, Nino, and I took the private jet to Baltimore. Savio, Adamo, and Fabiano stayed in Vegas since this was more of a family matter, it being my uncle’s seventieth birthday. Remo, as the Capo of the Camorra, was invited as a guest of honor, though I assumed that my aunt and uncle weren’t too enthused about having him under their roof.

We would be staying in a hotel this time because Giulia and Cassio, as well as my other step-siblings, were already spending the night at my aunt and uncle’s house. And of course because pretty much every member of the Famiglia had grown even more wary of Nino and Remo since they killed Durant on my wedding night.

Sometimes I wondered if something was wrong with me because I didn’t feel guilty for what happened to him. I didn’t see his corpse, but from the reactions of everyone who had, I knew it was bad.

I regarded Nino and Remo over the top of my book. They were discussing an upcoming meeting with Luca.

We arrived later than expected at our hotel, so I had to hurry getting ready. When I was dressed in the red dress with a slit going all the way up to my upper thigh, combined with the low-cut neckline, I couldn’t tear my eyes from the mirror. My dark hair fell in waves down my back and shoulders, and I put on lipstick in the same blood red color as my dress. Lady in red.

Nino came up behind me with a pleased look. “You will be the center of attention, Kiara, as you should be. You are a sight to behold. Blood red is your color.”

I huffed out a laugh. “People will think of the bloody sheets, no doubt.”

Nino put his hands on my hips, and without thinking about it, I leaned back against him, relishing in the feel of his strong body pressed up against my back. “Let them remember the sheets. It’s what will happen to anyone who dares to touch you.”

I shivered at the expression on his face. So cold and cruel. So beautiful. Nino in his black tux and blood red bowtie was a breathtaking sight on his own, but together we looked perfect, like we were meant to be together. It was a ridiculous thought, a romantic notion I would never utter aloud because Nino wouldn’t understand.

“Come now, we don’t want to be late,” he murmured, but his eyes traveled over my neckline once more, and the desire in his expression tightened my core.

Remo was already waiting in the lobby of the hotel when Nino and I arrived. Remo, too, was dressed in a tuxedo, but he wore a black bowtie. I’d never seen him this dressed up, not even at my wedding.

His eyes took their time assessing me. Then he smirked. “I bet a few people will be hit with unpleasant memories when they see your dress.”

I wrung my hands as the rented limousine dropped us off in front of my old home. Nino wrapped his arm around my waist, his hand resting possessively on my hip.

I took a deep breath.

“Hold your head high,” Nino reminded me quietly.

Remo looked at us curiously. “Don’t let any of those fuckers put you down because your father was a traitor. Don’t let them put you down for any other shit either. You are a Falcone now. If one of them doesn’t show respect, tell me or Nino and we’ll handle them.”

“Thanks,” I said with a small smile.

Remo gave a quick nod. I wasn’t quite as terrified of him as I had been before, and he tried not to scare me too much. Maybe we’d come to an understanding eventually.

The door to the mansion swung open. Aunt Egidia and Uncle Felix came into view. Their eyes widened when they settled on me.

Nino squeezed my hip, and I raised my head, forcing a smile.

Kiara Falcone. Someone new. Not the girl who hid in the corners.

When we arrived in front of them, there was a moment of awkward silence, then I said quickly, “Happy birthday, Uncle Felix.” I kissed his cheek and his expression softened.

“Thank you, Kiara. You look incredible.”

“You do,” Aunt Egidia agreed. “What a strong color.”

I gave her a quick hug as well then stepped back so Nino and Remo could greet her and my uncle. Nino handed the expensive limited-edition scotch to my uncle, who visibly relaxed. It became apparent very quickly that neither Egidia nor Felix enjoyed being around Nino and Remo.

We followed them inside. The house had been decorated with fresh flowers, and the living room was filled with guests and so was the garden. A buffet had been set up in the adjoining dining room, and waiters walked around with trays loaded with champagne and appetizers. The moment Nino and I entered the room, all eyes turned to us, and most people didn’t manage to hide their surprise seeing me dressed like this.

Giulia motioned for me to join her and Cassio. I glanced at Nino, who released my waist. “Remo and I will go talk to Luca. Why don’t you head over to your stepsister?”

I nodded and quickly made my way over to her. She wrapped me in a tight embrace then pulled back and scanned my outfit, a proud expression on her face. “Finally, you’re showing off your curves. You look absolutely stunning.”

I smiled then nodded at Cassio. He made no move to touch me. He had always been careful not to do so unless absolutely necessary. Giulia and I had never discussed this, but I was fairly sure she had talked to him about what happened to me years ago. He was her husband, so it was only natural to share intimate details.

“How are things in Las Vegas?” he asked, but from the tension in his expression, I could tell that Giulia must have given him a hard time because she’d been worrying about me.

I gripped my stepsister’s hand and squeezed. “I’m doing well. You don’t have to worry anymore.”

Her eyes darted over to Nino, who was listening to something Luca had to say. “You can tell me if something’s wrong, Kiara. We can help you.”

I laughed. “Giulia, I don’t need your help. I’m now a Falcone. I’m well protected.”

She regarded me with surprise then exchanged a look with her husband. “Wow. What did they do to you?”

I glanced toward Nino, and as if he could feel my eyes on him, he turned, meeting my gaze. My lips pulled into a smile. “He taught me my worth.”

Giulia touched my bare shoulder, her lips parting. “You like him?”

I couldn’t look away from Nino. “I like him,” I said quietly, and my body warmed at my admittance. Deep down, I realized that perhaps I did more than just like him.

Giulia grabbed my hand and led me outside into a secluded part of the garden. “Kiara, how is this possible?”

“What? I thought you’d be happy that I feel home in Las Vegas, that my marriage to Nino isn’t hell as I’d originally feared.”

“I am happy for you, it’s just so hard to believe that the Falcones treat you right.”

I shrugged. “It is like you said: some men don’t bring violence home with them. Nino is one of them. He knows how strong he is, how powerful. He doesn’t have to humiliate me to feel powerful.”

The first real smile spread over Giulia’s face, and she hugged me again. “I’m so happy for you.”

People kept staring when we returned to the party, but they kept their distance. In the past it had been because they didn’t want to be associated with a traitor; now it seemed as if they were scared. Eventually, I found myself back at Nino’s side, his hand a reassuring presence on my hip.

“You’re doing good,” he murmured. His praise filled me with pride.

I felt relieved when we returned to our hotel later that night. Even after less than two months, Las Vegas already felt more like a home than Baltimore ever had, and I longed to be back where people didn’t judge me for my past.

A couple of days later, I woke with Nino when he got up for his swim. I decided to stay in bed for once and grab a couple of hours of additional sleep. Nino surprised me when he sat down and leaned in close, mouth near my ear. “Tonight, I want to explore every inch of your body with my mouth,” he said, and heat rose to my cheeks. “It’ll be more intense than anything we’ve done so far. I’m very good at it.”

All I could do in response was nod, stunned into silence, but my body exploded with heat. Nino got up, his swim trunks tenting, and turned to leave.

I closed my eyes, trying to imagine his mouth between my legs, wondering how it would feel. Restless and hot, I clamped my thighs together. My fingers found their way between my legs, and I stroked myself the way Nino had told me to, imagining his deep, low voice, his hands, his mouth … and I came with a small shudder, but it wasn’t enough. Not even close.

Slipping out of bed, I opted for a long shower to clear my mind.

That evening I prepared dinner for the first time. I wasn’t sure if the men would appreciate it, considering it was meatless, but the three-cheese lasagna sounded delicious and as it cooked in the oven, its enticing scent gave me hope that I actually managed to create something edible.

I went in search of the men but found only one, Remo, who was kicking the punching bag as if it had personally insulted him. It was his favorite pastime.

He tossed a look my way but didn’t immediately stop his assault.

“Where’s Nino?”

“Shower.” Kick. “He worked out with Adamo today.” Kick. Punch. Punch. Kick.

“I cooked for us.”

Remo paused, his dark eyes narrowing. “For you and Nino?”

“For all of us,” I said quietly, shifting nervously under his harsh glare.

He moved closer despite my rising tension. Grabbing a towel thrown over the sofa, he stopped in front of me. “No running or flinching today?”

I pursed my lips. “I never ran from you.”

“You did when I fucked the whore on the pool table.”

Steps sounded a moment later, and Nino appeared at my side, lightly touching my back. “That is an unsettling sight.”

“Your wife cooked for us,” Remo said.

Nino glanced down at me. He smelled of his spicy shower gel. A few wet strands hung down his forehead and temples.

“Adamo took me grocery shopping today. I thought it would be nice to have a home-cooked meal for once.”

My eyes darted to his mouth, trying to imagine how it would feel, but I came up short. My imagination wasn’t very good.

“I assume no animal was harmed,” Remo muttered.

Nino sent his brother a warning look.

“It is vegetarian, yes, but your cholesterol levels will get their fill. Don’t worry. It’s layered with mozzarella, pecorino, and taleggio cheese.”

“About three pounds of cheese,” Adamo added as he sauntered down the steps, his wet hair tousled.

“Do you need my help?” Nino asked.

“You could carry it over here. The pan is heavy.”

Nino followed me into the kitchen, his warm palm pressed up against my back.

“It needs five more minutes,” I told him after another peek inside the oven, avoiding looking at his face because that led to me looking at his mouth and that led to more distracting thoughts. Nino regarded me quietly. He cupped my face and brushed his thumb over my cheekbone.

“You are nervous.”

I licked my lips, my eyes drawn up to his mouth then a bit higher. He moved closer and kissed me, slow and hot and with a promise of more. His tongue was almost playful as it circled mine, teasing but still dominant. Flustered, I pulled back. It was the first time Nino had initiated a kiss, the first time we’d been intimate outside of our bedroom.

“That’s what I’ll do tonight,” he murmured then added in an even lower voice, “Between your legs.”

I shivered. Nino was less careful around me; it was exciting and terrifying, and I didn’t want it any other way.

He pulled back, gray eyes evaluating my face. He reached for my wrist, brushing his thumb across the sensitive skin before he kissed it. “Remember, there’s nothing for you to fear when you are in bed with me.”

I nodded. My dry throat made swallowing difficult. “I think the lasagna is done.”

Nino took out the large pan and carried it into the gaming room. I carried plates, napkins, and cutlery. Savio, Adamo, and Remo had already taken their usual seat. For a moment, I considered asking them to have dinner in the dining room but then decided against it.

“That smells good,” Adamo said as he leaned over the lasagna the moment Nino set it down on a wooden trivet.

“Are you sure she didn’t poison the food?” Savio asked with a grin, but he was already loading up his plate with lasagna.

Nino put his hand on my knee as he sat down beside me. “Kiara and I have plans for tonight, so I don’t think she will poison me just yet. Am I right?”

Heat blasted my cheeks.

“TMI, Nino,” Adamo muttered.

“TLI if you ask me,” Savio said with a grin. “It was more fun when you still shared your fuck adventures with us, Nino. Now I only get to hear Remo’s twisted shit.”

I was sure my head would explode with embarrassment any minute.

“If you don’t want to hear my twisted shit, I’ll share it with only Nino and Fabiano in the future.”

“I don’t think anyone wants to hear it,” I said.

Remo leaned back, regarding me with a sinister smile on his face. “Not everyone’s cut out for shitty vanilla sex, so sue me. And if I remember right, Nino and Fabiano enjoyed the rougher side of things too before your women castrated you.”

I chanced a look at Nino, but his face didn’t give anything away. The lasagna was delicious, and the men dug in as if it were their last meal. As usual, they taunted each other and argued. It always gave me a strange sense of belonging when they acted like family around me.

After dinner, Nino and I retreated to our wing. When Nino closed the door to our bedroom, I peered up at him curiously. “What did Remo mean with the rougher side of things?”

Nino shook his head. “It doesn’t mean what you think it means.”

“You don’t know what I think,” I said quietly. “Maybe you are a genius, but you aren’t a mind reader.”

Nino wrapped his fingers around my wrist and tugged me closer. Then he leaned down. “I don’t have to be a mind reader to recognize the look on your face, Kiara.”

I sighed. “So you never …?” My voice shook.

“Never,” he said firmly and relief filled me. His thumb stroked my wrist. “How about we explore some more now?”

I gave a mute nod, excitement coursing through my body. Nino led me toward the bed. “If you want me to go down on you, it would be wise not to have me restrained … unless you feel comfortable sitting on my face.”

My eyes flew open in shock. “No,” I finally managed. “Definitely not.”

Nino’s lips twitched at the corners. “That’s what I thought.”

My cheeks were hot as I rolled my eyes. Stepping closer, I stood on my tiptoes and curled my hand around Nino’s neck. He lowered his head at once, claiming my mouth and wrapping an arm around my back. I lost myself in his kiss until he began to lower us to the bed. I felt the soft mattress beneath me as Nino hovered over me.

He pulled away, his eyes tracing my face. “Fear?” he asked quietly, holding his body above me.

It was ridiculous to be scared because it was Nino, but how Durant had felt hovering over me always returned to my mind, even if I didn’t want the memories to hold me back.

Nino lowered himself to the bed beside me, and I quickly returned kissing him. He complied without hesitation and as usual took lead. I surrendered to his expert tongue, feeling my center heat. His hand stroked my side then slipped below my shirt, touching skin and creating goose bumps. His fingers reached higher then brushed over my lace bra. My nipples puckered under the touch, and I moaned into Nino’s mouth. His hand cupped my breasts and kneaded lightly at first then his touch grew firmer. Gathering my courage, I reached for Nino, needing to feel him. My hands slid over his muscled chest, down to his ripped stomach until I reached the hem of his shirt. I tugged at it.

Nino pulled away from my mouth, sat up, and yanked his shirt over his head. My eyes took in his torso, the muscles, the scars, the tattoos, and as usual, my body filled with thousands of butterflies. Before he had even lain back down, my hands were already roaming over his chest. He propped himself up to allow me to explore. His eyes were on my face, but my eyes remained on my fingers as they stroked his pecs then grazed his nipples.

He exhaled, and I repeated the motion, loving that I could break through Nino’s cold demeanor with such a small touch. It felt empowering. Exhilarating.

“How about we get rid of your shirt as well?” Nino murmured, hands reaching for the hem of my shirt. I raised myself up so he could pull it over my head.

His eyes traveled over my body, lingering on my breasts, and then his lips returned to mine as his fingers tugged at my nipple through the lace. He helped me out of my bra. Fingers and lips caressed my breasts, shoulders and stomach, as he left a burning need in their wake. Despite my body’s need, I froze when Nino reached for my panties. So far he’d touched me through the fabric. It gave me the illusion of safety.

I lifted my hips, and Nino took me up on my invitation, but his eyes remained on my face as he laid me bare to his eyes. His palm stroked my thigh then slowly up it, moving over the small patch of dark hair between my legs. I held my breath when his thumb touched my slick nub for the first time without a barrier. Arching up, I moaned.

His finger nimbly stroked my folds, but he never dipped between them. I wasn’t sure how good he was at reading me … if he understood that having his fingers so close to my entrance scratched the surface of painful memories. Nino moved to the end of bed and eased my ankles apart. I knew what he was about to do and tried to make my body relax.

He stretched out between my thighs, his tattooed biceps flexing as he parted me wide. My center clenched, followed by my thighs, when he lowered his gaze to my center.

“Fear?” he asked quietly, intently. I wasn’t afraid of that. He had never done that to me.

“Nerves,” I admitted.

“Of what?” His breath ghosted over my wet heat, and I trembled with anticipation, nerves, and need.

It was hard to explain. “I don’t know.”

He leaned forward. “This is going to be good for you, Kiara. Try to focus on my tongue and my lips. Don’t think about anything else.”

His breath fanned over my clit, and then his tongue slid over me lightly, dipping between my folds before it fluttered over my nub. I whimpered from the sensation.

“Good?” Nino asked against me, his voice deep and calm.

I nodded, my fingers digging into the bedsheets. Nino’s tongue did a small flutter again, and my muscles finally loosened. He eased my thighs farther apart with his shoulders and dragged his tongue down to my opening. I tensed briefly, and he moved back up quickly. Again, his tongue fluttered over my clit then over my folds before he dipped lower and repeated the same motion over my entrance. Intense pleasure coursed through me, and this time my body didn’t tense. Nino’s tongue flicked lightly over my opening then he twirled it around and increased the pressure, easing the tip into me. I released a surprised gasp.

He let out a low hum, which sounded like approval, and my eyes darted down to watch him. His gaze rested on my folds as he circled my opening with his tongue. He seemed to enjoy it, and that realization banished the last of my nerves. He flicked his tongue over my clit again, with light nudges and twirls, and then I could feel something building; tension tightened deep in my core, mounting with every lick and flick, until I shattered. I cried out, shuddering through my release.

Nino groaned against me, moving lower, and lapped at my entrance with slow strokes. My eyes widened as my walls clenched again under his ministrations.

“Ride it out,” he ordered in a low voice.

He began to use firm licks to heighten my pleasure again. It was incredible, impossible. This felt better than anything ever had.

“Nino,” I whimpered as he worked me with gentle care. “This feels so good.”

“Good,” he rasped against my folds, and I trembled at the sound. “I want you to come again for me, Kiara. Can you do this for me?”

“Yes,” I gasped out, and he flicked his tongue along my clit before he focused his attention on my entrance. He pressed his mouth firmly against me and his tongue entered me again. His tongue felt so good inside of me as he moved it slowly. His thumb found my clit, and he rubbed the same soft circles.

I bucked my hips restlessly, overwhelmed with the wondrous sensations. It was building even quicker this time, my flesh oversensitive but still eager for more. My hand flew down to Nino’s head, gripping his hair, and then I came even harder.

Nino’s fingers stroked my folds. “I’d like to put my finger in you.”

I met his gaze. His expression was calm, self-assured. I swallowed.

He dipped one finger between my lips. “Say something. Tell me to stop if you don’t want this.”

“I … I’m worried it’ll hurt like last time.”

“It won’t,” Nino said firmly with certainty. The tip of his finger moved a bit lower. I tensed, remembering the pain from long ago, the feeling of breaking, of helplessness.

Nino regarded me, his finger lightly tracing my opening, but he didn’t push in. He reached up with his other hand and stroked my lower belly. “Try to loosen up, Kiara. You are very wet, and my finger will be very pleasurable against your sensitive walls if you allow it.”

I tried to relax, but my body clamped down with fear from the past. Nino kept stroking my opening and folds. “Let me help you,” he murmured.

He startled me when his hand fluttered up from my stomach to the ticklish spot over my ribs. I gasped out in laughter and twitched. Then Nino slipped his finger into me. He immediately stopped the tickling.

“Oh,” I breathed out and stilled. It didn’t hurt at all. Slowly, his eyes found my face. He began moving his finger, and I moaned at the sensation.

“Why did you tickle me?” I asked thickly as Nino kept thrusting inside me with his finger. He rubbed my clit lightly.

“I distracted your body. Your brain had assumed my finger against your opening was a threat because you expected pain, so I went and posed another threat your synapses had to focus on. Usually it works best with actual pain, but tickling is effective too because the body reacts in a similar way.”

I shook my head. “You are good at this.”

His lips twitched, and his gray eyes questioned me. “I’ve studied the workings of the body for a long time, especially its reactions to pleasure and pain.”

I didn’t doubt it. I moaned as he did something with his finger inside of me, a light rotation.

He repeated the motion and rubbed his thumb lightly over my clit. “Do you like this?”

How could he even ask? “Yes,” I managed to get out. His lips took the place of his thumb over my clit as his finger slid in and out slowly.

“Come again for me,” he said in that silky, dominant tone, and I fell apart under the combined sensation of his finger and his mouth.

My entire body burst with waves of pleasure. I trembled for a long time, trying to catch my breath. Nino pulled his finger out and then shocked me by lifting it to his lips and putting it into his mouth.

“I enjoy your taste, Kiara,” he said in a more textured voice as he knelt between my legs. My eyes were drawn to his pants. He was hard, aroused because he’d had his mouth on me.

I sat up, reached for his briefs. “I want to give back.”

Nino slipped out them then knelt on the bed again. I was in front of him and reached for him. He groaned. I moved slowly then leaned forward, and he met me halfway. His lips claimed mine and tasted like me. We kissed as I pumped my hands up and down, his eyes boring into me with more than cold scrutiny. Our kiss turned desperate, uncoordinated. Nino tensed in my grip. I watched the small twitches of his muscles, the sharp pull of his mouth, listened to his quick pants, and it felt right.