Chapter 933

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Rika

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Lyssa and I had run to my room with tears in our eyes. We both sobbed into the pillows on my bed until there were literally no tears left for me to cry. I could still hear sobs coming from Lyssa when I was done crying, but I could tell that she had no tears left. They were just the motions and the sounds that accompanied the tears. She, like me, had cried herself dry.

“Lyssa?” I called out to her when I sat up. I wasn’t ready to be exposed just yet though, so I had my arms wrapped around my legs and was holding my knees against my chest.

“Yes, Rika?” She sat up as well and wrapped her arms around herself. I saw that her eyes were red and swollen. She was just as upset as I was. No, that wasn’t right. She was even more upset. Warrick was her mate, her actual mate. Clovio wasn’t my mate. As much as I had wanted him to be my mate, my wolf never recognized him as that. I knew that I was wrong for doing what I had done, but I just couldn’t help it. I was lost in the new experience I guess.

“I..I’m sorry.” She looked up at me with her swollen and puffy eyes.

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“Sorry for what?” She wasn’t sure how to respond.n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

“I am sorry that we are in this situation. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t wanted to be with Clovio so bad. We wouldn’t have been out with the two of them today. We wouldn’t have met those other men that were clearly not very good people. And we wouldn’t have gotten so involved with them. I mean, if it wasn’t for me, then you probably wouldn’t have even met Warrick. Maybe it would be for the best if you hadn’t.”

“What are you saying?!” She snapped at me. It was quite scary to see with the redness in her eyes intensifying. “Warrick is my mate. I was meant to meet him. I know that you wanted Clovio to be your mate, Rika, but he isn’t. That means that all you have is a broken heart. And yeah, that is bad enough, but I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I feel like I was betrayed on a deep and personal level. I feel like my soul has been shattered. I feel like nothing will ever be right with the world ever again. There is no way that you know what I am feeling.” She was angry. And worst of all, that anger was directed at me.

“Lyssa?” I didn’t know what to say. I was confused. I was heartbroken. And I was feeling so lost in the world right now. What was it that I was going to do now? I couldn’t lose my first ever boyfriend and my best friend all in the same day. I couldn’t handle that. “I..I’m sorry Lyssa. I didn’t mean that. I know that he is your mate. I..I just thought that you would feel better if you hadn’t met him. I am sorry. I was stupid.”

“You are being stupid. No matter what happened, I can’t break that bond between us. And I would never want to not meet him. At least now I can work on getting over him. I can work on breaking the hold that he has on me. But not meeting him would be worse. I would always wonder if I should leave my heart open for another man or not. You need to think before you speak, Rika. You’re so immature at times.”

She got to her feet and started to storm out of the room. I didn’t want her to go. I didn’t want her to be alone right now. I didn’t think that I could handle being alone at the moment.

“Lyssa?” I called after her.

“Let me calm down, Rika. I need to figure this all out. I will call you later, OK.” She looked so sad and heartbroken as she walked away from me then. I couldn’t say anything else, and I definitely couldn’t stop her.

I found out then that I wasn’t out of tears. When Lyssa left me there all alone, I felt them start to stream down my cheeks again. I thought that I was going to be alone in my room again for the rest of the night. I didn’t want to leave here, but I didn’t want to be alone either.

“Rika?” I heard his voice before I even smelled him. I guess my nose was quite stuffy since I had been crying for so long.

“Westin?” I looked up at him with surprise in my eyes. “What are you doing here?” I knew that Lyssa had left the door open when she left, but I didn’t think that someone was just going to come in like that.

“I wanted to check on you. I was worried about you. Are you OK?” He looked upset, like he didn’t want to be here, or seeing me right now was hard on him. I didn’t really know how to process it.

“I..I’m fine.” I buried my face into my knees then. I didn’t want to see him. He was always mad at me. He was always acting like being around me was the worst for him. Yet he was always the one to volunteer to protect me when I needed to go somewhere. Why would he do that to himself? And to me? He was just making us both miserable with the way that he treated me when he was around. Like earlier, at the park, he was so mad at me. And all I did was go on a date and he treated me like a criminal. Yeah, OK, the guy turned out to be a lying murderer, but that is beside the point.

“You don’t look fine, Rika.” He came further into the room and stood next to the bed. “You look heartbroken and destroyed. And I just want you to know that I am here for you if you need me.” He was just trying to be nice, I knew that, but I was irrational at the moment and I couldn’t seem to accept it at all. All I could think about were all the times that he was mean to me.

“You’re here for me?” I snapped at him. “For what? To ridicule me and my decisions? To make me feel like a worthless piece of shit that isn’t worth your time? To make me feel like every decision I have ever made was the wrong one? What exactly are you here for, Westin? What is it you want from me? What do you want me to do?”

“I just want you to be happy, Rika! That’s all I want, dammit! Why are you like this? Why are you so blind to everything around you? Why can’t you see what is right in front of you?” Even with all the things that had happened between me and Westin up to this point, he had never spoken to me like this before. Honestly, the only person that had ever talked to me like this, aside from my parents, was Reagan. He was the one that always tried to reason with me and make me see the error of my ways. I expected this from him, but I did not expect it from Westin.

“Like hell you want that.” I rose to my knees on the bed now, I needed the extra height so I could glare at him when I screamed at him. “You are always being mean to me. You are always acting like you can’t stand me. And now I am supposed to believe that you want me to be happy. That is bullshit. You are probably happy that I got my heart broken. You’re probably happy that all of this happened to me.”

“I am not happy that you are upset, but I will not lie to you. I am happy that you are no longer with Clovio. I don’t want you to be with him. I don’t want you to be with anyone else.”

“You’re just like my parents. You want me to be a child forever. You’re treating me like a baby. You’re treating me like I meant for things to go wrong or something.”

“I am not.” He growled the words at me. He was obviously angry at me. He didn’t like me yelling at him. “I am not happy about any of this, except that you are not with him anymore. That is the only thing that brings me joy. And Rika, the reason for that is I l-.”

“SHUT UP!” I snapped at him as I cut him off. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear anything else you have to say. Go away! Leave me alone! I don’t want to see you ever again.” I was sobbing now. The tears were pouring out of my eyes harder than they had been earlier. Why was it that he affected me like this? Why was it that he was able to make me cry like this? And why did he have to hate me so much? I didn’t hate him. I really didn’t. But he obviously hated me.

I was back to hugging my knees to my chest while burying my face in my legs. I didn’t look at Westin again. I just sobbed until I heard him leave the room. And then I continued to sob until I fell asleep. There was nothing else for me to do anyway. My life as I knew it was over. Things were going to change now.

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