Kill Switch: Chapter 19

Present

I brought the lighter to the tip of my cigarette, lighting the end and sucking in a puff of smoke. The taste and burn hit my tongue, filling my lungs, and I blew it back out, already relaxing.

People walked about as I stood around the side of one of the concession stands, keeping an eye across the way on the restroom door for Winter and Alex to come out, just to make sure they were still together.

I didn’t give a shit if Winter was happy right now, but this place was sketchy as fuck. Perfect for me, really, but she didn’t have a sign on her saying she was blind, and if one of these actors picked her up and carried her off, like I just did, she might be in trouble.

Will was doing a piss poor job watching out for her. Grabbing her was way too easy.

I took another drag, noticing a couple of girls in line watching me. I caught the eyes of one of them, and she smiled, giving me a little wave.

I blew out the smoke, flicking the ash off the cigarette, but it was ash that dried my mouth. Everyone in this town knew my history and women could either be really distant—which suited me just fine—or they were really into it, like I was some dangerous animal, and it totally turned them on. While some were of the opinion that I took advantage of Winter, and judged the gossip they heard about my weird sexual appetite for watching others, no one saw that video and thought I forced her.

I was either the victim of a technicality or a deviant who messed with a girl they didn’t know was far from a one-night stand.

Winter’s age wasn’t the problem to me. I didn’t even see it.

The crime was, I couldn’t tell her who I was.

And the crime was, she didn’t love me back.

Her heart was so shallow she couldn’t understand and know that I was real. Every moment with her, I was real. I would’ve been faithful, and I would’ve died protecting her.

As soon as she knew, though, she cut me out. It was over. That quickly, she hated me, her fickle heart abandoning me and completely forgetting it all.

I was going to take great pleasure in making sure she never stopped hating me.

And at twenty-one, there was no question she was old enough for what I just did to her. I’d wanted to fuck her like that since I moved into the house, and she had come downstairs in her skimpy little shorts and tank top that night looking for her dog. She didn’t deserve better.

I tightened my fist, crushing the cigarette and closing my eyes through the burn being snuffed out on the inside of my palm.

And a smile curled my lips, thinking about what I should do next. Maybe Will or Alex—or both—would like to join me for the next round.

Winter seemed to like them, after all.

Opening my eyes, I saw her and Alex step out of the restroom, Winter’s clothes and hair back in order, but her face tight, containing some anger I was totally responsible for. Alex smiled and waved, and I saw Rika approach and grab Alex in an excited hug.

What?

And then I noticed someone coming toward me out of the corner of my eye and turned my head to see Michael, Kai, and Will head straight for me.

“Oh, fucking great,” I grumbled, throwing the cigarette away.

Michael came up right into my face, all of them dressed casually in jeans and T-shirts. “I want to talk to you in private,” he said.

I straightened my spine, meeting him eye to eye. “Private?” I teased. “Like steam-room private? I’m game.”

He folded his arms over his chest, his hazel eyes, piercing me. “Speaking of which, pay any visits to Hunter-Bailey recently?”

I laughed under my breath. “Ask Erika,” I taunted him. “Or is she keeping things from you?”

His face was frozen, but I knew the storm that raged under his skin. I wasn’t saying shit. I loved that his girl kept me a secret from him.

“I trust her,” he said. “I don’t trust you. What are you hanging over her head?”

Me? Oh, so that was it. The only way she’d give me the time of day was if I were blackmailing her?

“Believe it or not,” I told him, “she’s the one who has my neck in a noose. Quite the little dominant, your monster is. I’m kind of digging it. If you want to share.” And then I shot my eyes to Kai. “With everyone, I mean.”

“Jesus,” Kai muttered.

Yeah, I was definitely pissed when I heard about the three of them. It was just another time the two of them made all the decisions and had all the fun. Will and I simply tagged along when we were permitted.

Alex and Banks made their way over, Will taking the beer Alex brought him.

“Where’s Winter?” he asked.

“With Rika,” she said.

Michael and I didn’t blink.

“You’re not the only one who knows how to deal with garbage,” Michael said in a low voice as everyone stood silently by. “I didn’t erase my brother to keep her safe, so you could come along and fuck with us, too. I went that far, and I’ll do what I have to do again.”

Maybe.

He killed one person, making that self-defense. Make it a habit, and that becomes risk. He had lots to lose now.

“Who is that?” I heard Will ask.

But Michael, Kai, and I were locked, barely hearing him.

“No one will miss you,” Michael whispered, threatening me.

And I almost laughed. Bet his dick grew another fourth of an inch off that big boy threat.

“Michael,” Will said.

But Michael still stared at me, simply pumping his chest. Rika would never tolerate me doing anything to hurt her. He knew that. If she and I had a meeting, it was because she wanted to be there, and he was jealous.

Fuck him.

“Who the fuck is that?” Will barked. “Michael!”

“What?” Michael jerked his head to Will.

“Seriously?” Will blurted out. “You’re not watching this?”

Dragging my eyes away from Michael and Kai, we all turned our gazes on Will, following his line of sight to Rika, Winter, and some guy in black pants, a dark gray pullover, and leather shoes with his dark hair slicked back. Maybe five or six years older than us.

“That guy,” Will pointed out, looking at us as we looked at them. “He had a mask on before. He walked up and put his hands on Rika like he was one of the actors. He grabbed her, picked her up, had his hands way too close to certain things…”

Will turned back to her as he spoke, and I narrowed my eyes, taking note that Winter was standing back as Rika and the guy talked. He looked familiar. Where have I seen him before?

“She got away from him when she realized it wasn’t you,” Will continued, “but now he has the mask off, and he’s talking to her like they know each other. I don’t think she knows it was the same guy that fondled her before.”

I looked away, shaking my head.

They all just stood there. Michael, Kai, Will…

“It’s one of her professors,” Alex offered. “She’s part of his research team at the college.”

“He was not touching her very professionally when he was in disguise,” Will replied sarcastically, taking a swig of his beer.

Looking back over to make sure he wasn’t talking to Winter, I watched as he leaned in to Rika, tilting his head and touching her arm as they spoke. There were things guys did that told you they were flirting.

She turned to Winter for a moment, and once her back was turned, his eyes dropped, giving Rika a long once-over and licking his lips.

Yep.

Girls didn’t always notice, because it was subtle, and we didn’t always realize we were doing it, but he was interested. And he’d copped a feel while her fiancé was standing right here, too.

Was Michael doing anything? Of course not.

And that was the same guy I saw dancing with her at her engagement party, too. I finally recognized him, because he rubbed me the wrong way then, as well.

“He’s flirting with her,” Will told Michael the same thing I already knew.

“Does he know she’s engaged?” Banks asked.

“He was at dinner at our fucking house,” Michael growled under his breath as he glared at the professor.

“Aw, don’t worry,” I said. “Rika can handle her own shit, right?”

I dug out a cigarette, lighting it, a puff of smoke filtering into the air above our heads.

“It’s kind of got me wondering, though,” I went on. “She’s got her own money, and she can take care of herself, because you don’t coddle her, so…why does she need you exactly?”

I narrowed my eyes on Michael, amused. He always made Rika solve her own problems, because he didn’t see her as a possession but rather an extension of himself.

He didn’t want a puppy. He wanted a partner.

But there comes a point when you have to defend your house and take charge. And not just in the bedroom.

Which was all she needed him for.

I grinned. “I guess she does need to be serviced from time to time, doesn’t she?”

He bared his teeth, grabbing the collar of my sweatshirt, but my feet didn’t budge from the ground.

“Oh, please, go ahead,” I dared him, holding his eyes. “It is long past due between you and me.”

He stared into my eyes, probably taking in all the people around us, the security, the cameras, and while I didn’t give a shit, he had a charmed life at risk now. A sports star, soon-to-be wife, business deals in the works…

Do it.

I actually didn’t want either him or me getting arrested for a fight tonight, but I wanted to see some kind of life from him. Some remnant of the guy who was once my friend. Someone I remember very well, wanting to go to that edge and lead us all over it.

This is what happened when you fell in love. You lost your nerve, because you didn’t want to lose what had become more important.

But instead of wimping out, he just smiled.

“You know what?” he said, releasing me. “You’re right. My imagination is nothing compared to yours. Tell me, how would you handle him?”

How would I handle him? Need me to do your dirty work for you, or was this an invitation to play?

“Come on,” Kai egged me on, smirking. “Show us what we’re missing from the good old days. You’re so fucking arrogant. You educate us.”

My heart started pumping a little harder, and I stood there, pondering the challenge. Would they do what I suggested?

I wasn’t even going to leave it up to them. They’d pussy out.

I locked eyes with my sister. “How fast can the butcher be here?”

She stared at me only a moment before realization dawned, and a smile spread across her face. She glanced at Kai who looked at his wife curiously and then back to me, digging out her cell. “For us?” she asked, looking excited. “Minutes.”

And then she put the phone to her ear and walked away to make the call.

I glanced at Alex. “See if they have a first aid kit with smelling salts?”

She nodded, looking hesitant, but walked toward the service tent.

And then I taunted Kai. “Still able to knock someone out with a single kick?”

“Want a demonstration?” he shot back.

I laughed, putting the rest of the pieces together in my head.

“What are you going to do?” Michael asked, pulling back and suddenly interested.

“Me? Oh, this will take all of us,” I told him. “You want it or not?”

He rolled his eyes but stood there, Will on his left, Kai on his right, and his pride telling him not to engage with me.

But then he looked over at Rika, and I didn’t know about him, but I knew if her teacher was pulling shit like this in front of her fiancé, what was he thinking of trying one of these days when Michael wasn’t around during one of their research meetings or an after-class discussion?

Of course, Rika could take care of herself, but he was disrespecting Michael, too. Michael needed to check that shit.

He met my eyes. “Fine. What are we doing?”

I quirked a smile and filled everyone in on their part, sending Banks to meet the butcher in the parking lot and Will to grab another prop from inside one of the haunted houses.

When Alex came back with the salts, I told her what she had to do, unfortunately the bulk of the work falling on her for this whole thing. She was the only chick here not spoken for, so that came in handy when she needed to lure him.

Banks arrived with a backpack, and she, Michael, and I made our way to the tree line behind the barn, shielding ourselves behind the trunks, while Kai and Will hid around the corner of the barn, waiting.

I stuffed my mask, still hooked onto my wrist, in the backpack, and not two minutes later, spotted Alex rounding the corner with the professor. She looked perfect. Short white dress, top hat, makeup. He didn’t look as enamored as he did with Rika, but he was willing to indulge a little walk around the park with another beautiful student.

Kai looked over at me, twenty yards away, and I jerked my chin, alerting him it was time. He stepped back, giving himself room, got in his stance, and as soon as Alex came around the corner, Kai shot out, swung his leg around, and knocked the dude right in his temple. He didn’t even have time to turn and see who was there.

His head jerked back, his knees gave out, and he fell forward, face planting on the dirt ground.

“Oh, shit!” Will shook with laughter. “He went down like a dead deer.”

A snort sounded from either Michael or Banks, and Kai looked down at his victim, surveying his handiwork with pride.

“You didn’t kill him, did you?” Banks whisper-yelled, looking worried as she crept over.

Michael and I followed.

She crouched down next to the guy, feeling for the pulse on his neck.

After a pause, she pulled away, sighing with relief. “Okay, good.”

“Baby, please.” Kai looked insulted.

“Grab his feet,” I told Will as I flipped him over and took his hands. “Let’s go.”

We carried him back beyond the tree line, Alex, Michael, and Kai following, while Banks bent over, picking up the heavy backpack off the ground as we passed.

I cocked an eyebrow at Michael. “You gonna make my sister carry that?”

Or do we do all the work and you just watch?

He yanked the bag out of her hand, she made a face at him, and we all scurried deeper into the woods and out of sight.

Plopping the dead weight down, I grabbed Alex, pulled her over, and ripped open the bodice of her dress, exposing her skin from chest to abdomen, her breasts still covered, though.

She gasped, snarling at me. “Asshole!”

“Lie down,” I told her.

“Why do I always have to do the dirty work?”

“Now.” I gestured to the ground.

Frowning, she dropped to the cold earth, fallen leaves rustling under her as she carefully laid herself back.

“Knife,” I asked Will, reminding him I needed the prop he stole from one of the haunted houses.

He slapped it in my hand, the harness from whatever actor or mannequin he got it off of attached and dangling from my fist.

Michael, Kai, and Will situated themselves off a short distance away, shielding themselves behind trees, while Banks and I finished getting Alex all dressed up. We did this as teenagers to one of my father’s security guards who kept patting Banks on the ass when he spoke to her.

I poured some of the shit she got from the butcher on the professor’s clothes and then hauled him over and set him face down on top of Alex, between her legs.

“Ugh,” she groaned, looking like she was about to gag with all the crap on her, including the professor.

Banks planted a quick kiss on her forehead as she scrambled around her, giving her arms and chest smears of blood. “Love you. Mean it,” she chirped at Alex sarcastically and then looked up at me, smiling.

I couldn’t help but give her one back.

Like old times.

We finished up, Banks gathered the backpack and everything in it, and ran to where the guys were hiding, while I pulled out the smelling salts.

“When you’re ready,” I said, handing it to Alex.

She took it, nodding.

I backed away, surveying my work, that fucking prick who thought he could put his hands on something of ours and get away with it passed out between her legs with his head resting on her chest.

Then I turned, joining everyone else where we could watch but not be seen.

Alex moved a little, lifting her head to check the placement of his hand on the knife and her position under him.

Will was laughing already, lifting his phone to record.

But Kai grabbed it out of his hand to stop him. “Fuck no.”

Will’s mouth dropped open, confused, but then the light dawned. “Oh, right.”

Yeah. Not going down that road again. No videos.

Alex brought the salts to his nose, and I warned everyone, “Shhh,” shutting them up.

She waved them under his nostrils, we waited and watched, and then suddenly…he jerked to life, and her arm and head fell back to the ground in position, the salts spilling off somewhere as she closed her eyes and hung her mouth open, playing dead.

A laugh rumbled in my chest.

He moved, trying to lift his head, but it just bobbed as he groaned.

He shifted on top of her body, and then hissed, putting his hand to his temple and feeling the ache of Kai’s kick.

“Ah, what the hell?” he said in a raspy voice, rubbing his head.

But then he slowly came to, lifted his body up, and blinked his eyes open, finally seeing what was underneath him.

The body of a dead girl, covered in blood, and his fingers wrapped around the hilt of the prop knife buried in Alex’s chest.

He just sat there, looking down at her, unsure if he truly knew what he was seeing.

Removing his hand from the knife, he nudged her on the jaw, sending her head flopping side to side, and then let out a shocked cry, falling over, and scrambling to get away and making us all struggle to hold in our laughter.

“Ah!” He crawled backward, just staring at her in utter horror.

Snorts went off around us, and I shook my head.

It was a prank you were never really too old for. I always dreamed of having this room in my house someday with splatters of red paint all over the walls and sheets, so I could dump drunk friends in there who would wake up in the light of day the next morning, shitting their pants at the massacre on the walls.

The small delights in life.

He stood up, pawing at the evidence all over his clothes and took in the blood spilling off the butcher knife buried in the chest of a young girl. He quickly looked around for anyone who might’ve seen, and we dove behind the trunks, making sure we weren’t detected.

He was starting to freak out, his fear vibrating off him, and I could only imagine the thoughts racing through his mind right now.

“Oh, my God,” he panted. “Oh, my God. What the fuck?”

Aw. Poor baby.

We peered back around to see him start running at top speed away from the body, whipping off his pullover and trying to wipe himself clean as he bolted back into the far-off crowd before he could be caught.

“Holy shit,” Will chuckled, not holding back as we all came out from behind the trees and watched him disappear. “He didn’t even try to take his murder weapon. What a pinhead.”

Banks’ head fell back as she and Kai laughed, and Michael couldn’t help grinning as he dipped down, helping Alex up.

“I don’t think he’ll be at school on Monday,” he remarked.

“Yeah, he should be three states over by then,” Kai added.

“Or confessing to the police,” Will snickered.

No one could stop laughing, all of us shaking with the amusement at the painful ride home he was going to have tonight and the sleep he wasn’t gonna get for a few days until he realized it was a prank.

“And if he does it again,” Alex snapped, aggravated with the mess all over her as she shot a look to Will, “we’ll put him in a bed between your legs, surrounded by dildos and lube next time.”

“Now that was an idea,” Will chimed in, pointing to me with an excited look.

We all broke into laughter again, picturing the sight, and my head was light and my stomach unknotted for the first time in a long time. I hadn’t laughed like this in a while.

My head fell back, exhausted from the day and night, but kind of happy.

Really happy, actually.

But then the chuckles died down.

They faded to smiles, which faded to nothing, and we all grew quiet, discomfort and awkwardness chilling the air as we remembered we hated each other.

Years ago, this was what it was like with us. Before we realized fun had a price, and anger clouded everything as we latched on to anyone to blame.

Especially me.

Tonight was a bittersweet reminder of everything I’d ruined, and they hadn’t forgotten that it was mostly my fault.

We’d happily fallen back into the things that helped us find each other for a few minutes. The same needs, the same passion for thrills, and the same desire to break away from restraints.

But they couldn’t forgive.

And this couldn’t happen.

“Hey, where have you guys been?” Rika walked over to us with Winter in tow.

I looked at her, but her head was down and turned away, as if she were trying to be invisible.

Michael went over and pulled Rika into him, hefting her up into his arms. “We were doing manly things.”

“Manly things?” she asked, not believing it for a second.

But he just slapped her on the ass, gripping her flesh through her dress. “Let’s go to the car for a minute.”

“Michael!” she scolded as he carried her away, what he wanted clear.

The rest of us stood there for about two seconds, the wait of their silence enough to kill the fun I’d just had.

I grabbed the backpack with my mask inside and looked at Will. “If she’s not home by two,” I gestured to Winter, “my security will bring her home. Don’t test me.”

I left, strolling past her and definitely wanting another piece of her soon, half-tempted to drag her home now, but I wasn’t giving in. I didn’t want her to know I craved it. The sex would not become habit. It was a move in the game, and I needed to figure out my next one.

Later that night, I woke with a start. Two sharp pangs hit me, one on my neck, next my throat, and another on my side, between my ribs. I sucked in a breath, feeling the sting of broken skin.

“What is it about me that makes you so angry?” I heard Winter ask in a soft voice.

I raised my eyes, finally realizing she was straddling me on the bed, two blades dug into my skin.

Kitchen knives?

I spread my fingers where my arms laid at my side, itching to grab her and throw her off me. I knew I could do it before she stabbed me, but…

I’d been concerned with my next move instead of anticipating hers.

I remained still, the sheets cool and soft and the room silent and black.

“What about me makes you so angry?” she asked again, still just as calm.

“Three years,” I said.

Three years in jail for doing something she wanted me to do.

“But it started before that,” she prodded. “In high school. You terrorized me. Why? What did I do?”

I didn’t terrorize her. I never hurt her. I just wanted what I wanted.

The points of the knives poked too hard, and my breathing trembled.

“I was a kid,” she said, pain in her voice. “I thought I was in love. I was a naïve, stupid kid. Do you know what it’s like to think someone loves you and then you find out you were nothing but meat?”

I curled my fists, taking the sheets with me as I shut out my own memories that tried to spring up.

“Yes,” I whispered.

Yes, I did.

I knew what it was like to have horrible things being done to your body, and watch it betray you and make you think you’re bad for liking it when you knew you didn’t.

I shot out my hands, grabbing her hips and lifting my head as the blade threatened to sink into me. “And I killed her for it,” I told her. “So do it then.”

She breathed hard, and I could feel her grips shaking as she held her weapons.

“Because I won’t stop,” I said quietly, smelling her shampooed hair.

She’d showered, all the makeup and the costume now gone, replaced with silk sleep shorts and a white T-shirt with her hair still wet.

“Do it,” I egged her on.

The sharp points burrowed, threatening me, and I loved the view of her like this. Taking control of me, her power painful but demanding, and I wanted her to demand anything she wanted from me right now.

My cock started to grow hard under her, drawn to her warmth as she sat on me, and I was very prepared to let this happen again tonight. Just for tonight.

She came to me, after all.

“You weren’t lying,” she finally said, looking thoughtful like a memory was playing in her mind.

I’d told her in the janitor’s closet seven years ago that I killed my mother. She thought I was talking shit. Now she knew.

“When did it start?” she asked, her brain deciphering what happened.

But I wasn’t going there. Never, ever again.

“In the fountain when you were eight and I was eleven,” I told her.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“That’s all that matters.” And I dug my fingers into her ass as I lifted my hips and pressed my cock between her legs.

“Ah, yeah,” I gasped, my rock-hard ridge soaking in her heat through her lacy, silk boxers.

I couldn’t fucking think.

Breathing faster, I dove into it all, the demand of her questions and the threat of the knives ready to hurt me and end me right here, right now. Sweat cooled my skin, the rustle of my body in the sheets filled my ears, and every other sense heightened with awareness as I let go, wanting to feel this. To be filled with anything of her.

Moving one hand to where her neck met her shoulder, I took hold of her body and rode her from the bottom, her clothes still on and the torture making it all the more insane.

“Stop,” she breathed out. “Damon, stop.”

“Get off me then.”

She was sitting on me. I had no control here.

“I may be married to Ari,” I told her, dying to get inside her body again. “But her little sister is who I really wanted to play with.” I yanked her down to me, the knives falling away as I whispered against her lips. “Always wanted to play with.”

She trembled, and her eyes watered, and I thought she was going to pull away and run, but she was frozen.

“You’re mine,” I said, kissing her mouth once as I humped her. “Mine.” I kissed her again. “Mine in that fountain. Mine in the locker room and in the janitor’s closet. Mine in the dean’s office.” I took her jaw in my hand. “You’ll have my kids and be my woman and fuck me, because that’s what I want.”

“No,” she said, barely audible.

But then she locked her hand around my neck and whimpered, her body arching to meet my hips.

“You’re different than them,” I whispered, pulling off her shirt to feel her tits against my chest. “Different than my friends. Different than Ari. Different than my parents, my sister, and every woman. You see everything.”

A sob escaped her, and I gripped the back of her hair, bending her head back to watch her face as I dry-fucked her, our bodies moving in perfect sync.

“Yeah, was that the line you fed my mother to get her to leave?” she spat out. “That I was everything to you?”

I flicked her lips with my tongue, so fucking hungry for her despite myself. “I told her the only way I could stay married to Ari for a year was if we were together as little as possible,” I said, both of us mouth to mouth and panting.

“I told her that I wanted you,” I went on. “That you loved me, because there was no faking what happened in that fucking video, and I told her that I loved you, too, and I was sorry for stealing you the way I did, but it was the only way I could get close to you.”

Her breath shook as she sucked it in between her teeth.

“I told her that I never intended for anyone to see that video,” I admitted, “and I needed time. Time to convince you that you were mine and that you wanted to be mine. We just needed to be left alone.”

It was true. I told her mother all those things. Things she wanted to hear. Things she wanted to believe.

I married Ari to get into this house and because she was easy, but they all knew what I was really after.

“I told her you’d be set for life,” I said, both of us rubbing on each other, “and I’d make all your dreams come true. You’ll dance and no doors will be closed to you ever again.”

Grunts and groans filled the room, while my other hand roamed, sliding down her back and feeling the light layer of sweat before I gripped her ass, helping her move.

Yeah, Ari left, because she did what she was told, and she wanted to believe I was joining them in a few days. Her mother left because she wanted to believe all the things I said to get her to go. That Winter and I were fucking in love, and we needed space to get through our shit.

My cock was so hard, and I wanted inside her, but just as I pulled her up, taking her nipple in my mouth, she came, rasping and shaking as I sucked on her.

And as she came down, quivering with her orgasm, I stopped moving and wrapped my arm around her, holding her to me as I licked and kissed her breast.

I wanted this. So much more of this. Her body in my arms, shivering and sweating, in a hundred different positions, no piece of her left untouched.

But as hard as I was and as much as I wanted to strip her down and take full advantage that I had the house all to myself with my sweet, new little sister-in-law… this bitch sent me to jail with no hesitation and no regret.

We weren’t in love.

I pulled her head down to me, teasing her with little kisses she didn’t return because she hated what she just let happen again.

“I love fucking you,” I told her. “There’s no struggle to connect in bed. No mystery with you.”

Her thighs were so warm, and my dick ached, thinking about how hot and wet she probably was right now.

But I simply tightened my grip on her, brushing her nose with mine and taunting her. “It’s comforting how it’s always the same,” I said. “How all you cunts turn into sluts once you’ve got a good dicking.”

She grew still, a slight tilt to her lips that looked like she was trying not to cry, but everything else was calm and stoic.

As if she finally understood… I was here to hurt.