12. | panic and bewilderment

I try hard to not freeze on the spot when my father finally spots Lexi and me in the small crowd that has gathered in the courtroom.

He gestures for me to walk over to him, but I know better. I try to nonchalantly shrug it off while desperately trying to make it seem like Lexi and I are engaged in a relevant conversation.

"He's looking this way. " I whisper to her, wiping my sweaty palms on my thighs. "I can't walk over there, to him. He'll stop me from speaking. That's the last thing I want to happen."

Lexi looks from me over to my father, only to immediately look back at me again, clearly intimidated by him as well. "Try not to look at him." She frantically offers as a resolution.

"Everyone, remain quiet please, the judge will walk in any second now." A deep male voice speaks into a microphone, indicating that the court will soon begin. I let out a relieved sigh as this is my father's cue to leave me alone.

It takes a few long seconds for people to fall completely silent and my father has no choice but to sit down next to his boss, a few rows away from us.

I look around in the small crowd, wondering if there's any other person in here that believes in Ethan's innocence. I notice a woman and a little girl in the front row, holding each other's hands while eyeing the door for any sight of Ethan. I wonder if they are his mother and his little sister, the ones he has told me about in one of our first conversations.

Eventually, we all stand up as the judge and jury walk in, taking their place. I avert my gaze back to the door where Cole holds Ethan softly by the arm, walking him in. Ethan's beams the second he notices the woman and the little girl, who both come to their feet.

I can't help but feel a little overwhelmed already, realizing that this court could either mean a lot to Ethan, or make his ongoing case even worse.

He has already gotten a life sentence for a first-degree murder. However, his attorney keeps gathering evidence that prove his innocence and the clear signs of being wrongfully blamed, which is the thing that keeps lightening up the fire that is this case every few months.

"It's starting." Lexi whispers to me and shakes me out of my thoughts. I take a deep breath and look at Ethan from the back. He's sitting a few rows in front of me, next to his attorney and a few other relevant people.

I've never seen him this nervous before as I notice how he keeps fixing his posture and constantly wipes his palms on his thighs.

"Do you wish to make an opening statement?" The female judge turns to Ethan's attorney and gives him the first word. He walks to the front, facing both the crowd and the jury, his right shoulder pointing to the direction of the judge.

"Good afternoon your honor." He begins and introduces himself before he continues, "This is a case of mistaken identity. On September 26th, our client Ethan Dean Wilford, was outside during a break in the state prison he's been staying in for the past three years. Ethan is one of the few respectful inmates and has been serving his time without any trouble. He has weekly conversations with miss Adams, a psychology student that is doing her internship at the prison. Before miss Adams was stabbed, she was engaged in a conversation with Mr. Wilford."

As he talks about the minutes before the actual horror that occurred, I find my mind wandering back to that midday.

It was such a nice day; the trees had scattered some of their soft brown and orange leaves all over the ground. There was one little daisy who had survived the beginning of fall and Ethan had given it to me.

I remember looking at Ethan and thinking so many things. I remember the way the noon sun shone upon and through his blonde locks, casting shadows on his freckled cheeks. I remember dropping my gaze to his lips to see the way it curled up into a little smile every time I spoke to him.

It was such a nice day; but all beautiful things get corrupted eventually. That I understood, in a rather hard way.

The attorney inhales sharply as he frequently averts his gaze from the crowd to the jury. "However, at the time the incident happened, convicted rapist and murderer on death row, Michael Bradshaw, had joined them. He was the one who stabbed miss Adams and we're here today to prove this in our journey of fighting against injustice that involves Ethan Dean Wilford, for the second time, I must bring up." He notes, as he points his left hand in Ethan's direction before continuing his vigorous opening statement.

"Today, you will hear from two defense witnesses; Cole Jones, a guard at the previously named prison and Brooklyn Adams, the victim herself. We anticipate that Mr. Jones will tell us how he believes and is able to prove that the prosecutors have tempered with the footage they will most likely present to you today." He eyes the jury, "We will also hear from miss Adams, who will describe how she remembers the culprit that attacked her on the mentioned date and location."

After he finishes the statement, he walks back to the defense table. "Alright, thank you Mr. Johnson. " The judge writes a few things down and nods towards the attorney.

"The defense will now present its first witness, Cole Jones." She says and invites Cole to testify in front of the crowd.

As the previous nerves never left my system, I barely register anything from the content of the court. I look down at my hands, feeling anxious for what I am about to do. Lexi softly taps my thigh, reminding me she's next to me as emotional support.

Cole witnesses, telling everyone his version of the story. When he finishes, the prosecutors begin with their story, facing the jury in a battle to win their belief and sympathy.

Chills run down my spine as I am disgusted this is even a matter of discussion. The fact that Michael is nonchalantly strutting around the prison, makes my blood boil.

Just like we had expected, they come up with their alleged evidence. I chew my bottom lip as I nervously eye the footage. Whoever edited the footage, really made the poorly colored video somehow prove that Ethan stabbed me with the metal object, yet stayed with me to pretend he was helping me.

It baffles me how someone could even assume that anyone in their right mind would do such thing, which once again proves that whoever is messing with Ethan, just really wants to mess him up. Even if that means making up incredibly ridicule stories and committing severe fraud.

The minutes of torture continue as everyone around me and I watch myself crash into my own puddle of blood in pure agony while Ethan cries out, the clear panic evident on his facial expressions.

That alone is enough for someone to understand his purity. Someone who is willing to understand.

Finally, the reminder of torment and mental suffering stops, as the prosecutors' turn is finally over. The defense invites me as the second witness.

The witness, along with the judge, should be a focal point, which is simply the center of activity of all courtroom proceedings. All courtroom participants should clearly hear and see all verbal and nonverbal communication from the witness, which is why Cole walks me to the front. Before he walks back to where he was standing before, he gives me an encouraging smile.

I gulp as I place my hands on the wood in front of me, sitting on the chair Cole guided me to. All eyes are on me and I take a few seconds to calm down my breathing, as the judge speaks some words that my mind cannot register.

I see my father from the corner of my eye but completely ignore his presence. He cannot stop me, and I hope he realizes that after today he really has to sort out his priorities.

My breath hitches swiftly as Ethan holds my gaze the second my eyes fall upon him. His clouded eyes lighten up as an encouraging smile lingers on his lips.

"You got this." He mouths, his somewhat inaudible whisper causing his attorney to softly kick his shoe with his, out of the judge's sight. I withhold myself from chuckling at this and don't break the eye contact.

My stomach flutters as Ethan visibly breathes in from his nose, holds it for a few seconds and then breathes out through his mouth. He does it again and I realize this is his way of trying to show me how I should calm myself down.

I close my eyes for a few seconds as I breath in and out and when I open them, the judge asks me to repeat after her. "I do solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and affirm..." she begins as I avert my gaze to the crowd.

"I do solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and affirm..." I repeat after her, my voice coming out steady.

"That the evidence I shall give shall be the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

"That the evidence I shall give shall be the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth." I finish the swear.

The judge allows me to tell all the details that I remember from the day of my attack. I tell them everything, from having a calm conversation with Ethan outside while walking, to how Michael suddenly interrupted us and started acting weird, stabbing me eventually.

As I tell them the truth with tears welling in my eyes, I naturally make eye contact with the jury, who are mostly giving me nods and empathizing looks. Even if they try to not make it evident, I notice the impact the defense has already made on them. This is going better than I thought.

After a few minutes, just when I think I've done my part and can finally leave the staring eyes, one of the prosecutors speaks up.

"I have a few questions for the victim your honor, if I may." His extremely assured voice speaks, as he comes to his feet when speaking to the judge.

"Yes, you may." She answers, adjusting her glasses as she glances over at him. He takes a few steps forward, nearing me in what almost seems like an attempt to affright me.

"Miss Adams, I think it's time for you to admit to who forced you into witnessing for the defense. In fact, wouldn't it be more relevant if you'd witnessed against him, don't you think?"

Ethan's attorney immediately stands up, wanting to say something. The judge raises her hand to silence him, looking at me.

"I—" I begin, "Why would I witness for a lie?" I answer, my voice hoarse.

"A lie?" He scoffs, "We've all seen the evidence Brooklyn. The footage does not lie."

I shake my head in disbelief. This is a mere attempt, a quite weak one at that, to shove away Cole as a witness, who tried to prove the footage was tempered with. He showed glitches and talked about some conversations he overheard from other guards who were around that day.

"Sir, I think Mr. Jones just presented enough evidence to prove that in this case, your footage does lie. Besides, what reason would I, the victim, have to come here and witness for Ethan if he wasn't innocent."

"Let me see," He continues to aggravate me, "You could have been blackmailed and intimated into doing it for all we know. You seem quite nervous, don't you?" He asks, looking over from me to the confused jury. He's clearly trying to mess with their head.

I scoff in annoyance and straighten my posture to be able to speak even closer to the microphone. "I don't see any reason why Ethan, my client, would intimidate me."

The second these words leave my lips; I look over at Ethan to once again assure me that he really is the person my mind made him to be. He's innocent, he's being a victim of injustice and failure of the system.

While my heart longs for his comfort once more, it receives pure panic and bewilderment as Ethan let's his head drop, my heart dropping with it.

He avoids eye contact for the first time ever by looking down at his hands. I involuntarily look at my father and notice how he frowns and knowingly nods at the words of the prosecutor.

I don't know what I was expecting the prosecutor to say to win the jury for himself again, but it was most certainly not his following words, the words that made me feel like the entire world and all the worries within it crushed down on me right then and there.

"Not even the fact that he, the man you are witnessing for today, is your mother's murderer?"

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A/N;  REMINDER — in one of the first chapters i mentioned that brooklyn left the usa to stay with family in europe, because she did not want her grief to worsen by attending court. so no, she did not know that ethan's case had anything to do with her mother's case.

ALSO  (important!!!) — this whole stabbing thing and the court is NOT the climax/plot of this book. it's a little obstacle in the beginning of the book, that's all ;) i must say, correctly describing a damn court was quite difficult but i survived, heh.

LASTLY — thank you all so much for 130k reads! you guys have no idea how much that means to me. i remember when i first started writing this book, i was so excited with my first 100 reads. i could've never imagined to gather this many loyal and lovely readers. 20 chapters are still unpublished so the votes aren't accurate atm, but i'm so thankful for everything.

thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed. please don't forget to vote & comment, i really enjoy reading every single one of them.

— lyra b.