CH 69

the day after meeting elvis was a monday. the station had some temporary matters to attend to, so lu ye went in for a short shift early in the morning. just after 10 o’clock, he received a call from lu wenyu, asking if he was free and whether he could come over for a meal.

lu ye knew why she had called, so he didn’t make excuses and agreed. after finishing work, he even detoured to a mall to pick up a box of snowflake pastries that lu mingming had been craving for half a month.

when he arrived at lu wenyu’s house in the evening, the housekeeper had already finished cooking and left. lu wenyu was dressed in loose home pajamas, sitting on the living room carpet, playing a puzzle block game with lu mingming.

lu ye observed for a moment, went into his room and changed into different clothes, and sat down next to lu wenyu. he casually picked up a fallen puzzle block beside him and tossed it into lu mingming’s arms, through a “luxury castle.”

lu mingming was startled by his sudden attack and instinctively leaned back. her elbow accidentally hit an unfinished puzzle block, causing the blocks to scatter all over, turning the fairy garden into ruins.

“uncle!”

lu mingming glared at him and was about to retaliate when lu ye had already handed the box of snowflake pastries to her, smiling as he coaxed, “my bad. i’ll put it back together for you later, okay?”

with the added temptation of snowflake pastries, lu mingming easily forgave him. she hugged the paper bag and scooted aside, continuing with her “construction project.”

after watching for a while, lu wenyu finally spoke when the “truce” was declared. she said nonchalantly, “don’t provoke her. that thing is difficult to assemble.”

lu ye, raised an eyebrow and asked, “why do you have so much free time today and asked me to come over for dinner?”

lu wenyu managed a company, and she bore the responsibility of running the whole company. she was busy from dawn to dusk, often wishing for more than 24 hours in a day to work. except for special occasions like holidays, the time she spent chatting with lu ye could almost be measured in minutes.

“i do have some free time.” lu wenyu stretched her arm, picked up a cup from the coffee table, took a sip of coffee, and hinted, “but you’ve been quite busy lately. you even mentioned to me yesterday that it’s been a while since we last met.”

since the silent conflict with qi yanbai, lu ye had stopped taking on the task of picking up lu mingming from school. he knew that lu wenyu probably had already figured out what was going on, so he didn’t try to explain. instead, he just smiled at lu wenyu.

“what’s going on?” lu ye asked with a smile. “did your housekeeper finally find it too far and refuse to pick her up anymore?”

“stop changing the subject,” lu wenyu said with a soft click of her tongue. she couldn’t help but pat lu ye’s shoulder and asked, “in love, it’s normal to have some disagreements. i don’t care about the little quarrels, but you were talking about spending a lifetime with him not too long ago, and now you’re suddenly giving him the cold shoulder. what’s going on in your mind?”

lu ye knew that lu wenyu would ask this question. he sighed softly and put the puzzle block back into the box. then, he casually brushed off his hands as if getting rid of non-existent dust.

“it’s nothing, really,” lu ye said in a relaxed tone. “i just realized recently that he’s not exactly as i imagined.”

“different?” lu wenyu suddenly became curious. “how is he different? did he secretly pole dance at home?”

lu ye: …

lu ye seemed to remember lu wenyu’s surprising speculation when she first met qi yanbai, and he couldn’t help but remain silent for a second. then, he absentmindedly took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

he had initially thought about lighting a cigarette, but then he remembered that lu mingming was still there, so he put the lighter back and just held the cigarette in his hand.

“it’s not like that,” lu ye said, picking up a puzzle piece. after a brief pause, he continued, “i just thought that our relationship was growing naturally over time, but it turns out he had feelings for me from the very beginning. he deliberately got close to me after our first meeting.”

lu wenyu, who knew lu ye very well, immediately understood what was going on when she heard this. lu ye was cautious and wary, and whenever someone stepped into this minefield, he would immediately transform from a kind and approachable police officer into a suspicious porcupine.

“oh,” lu wenyu drawled lazily, understanding everything. “so, you’ve realized you might have been deceived? is that it?”

lu ye didn’t give a direct answer. instead, he turned his head, raised an eyebrow, and asked, “your tone makes it sound like you don’t see this as a problem.”

“of course, i don’t.” lu wenyu said openly. “you’re likable, and someone is trying hard to pursue you. that’s normal. people have the right to pursue their own happiness. even if he has some ulterior motives, it’s not a big deal.”

lu wenyu was a realistic person, and her approach to life and business was all about assessing value. she didn’t care much about minor details as long as they didn’t touch on matters of principle.

lu ye smiled and thought to himself that lu wenyu didn’t know what he had done with these “ulterior motives.” if she did, she would probably turn into a river goddess and flood the place, wishing she had cut ties with him long ago.

“of course, i’m not saying that his ‘ulterior motives’ are right.” lu wenyu continued, probing, “after all, you’re in a relationship by your own choice, and you know best. so, do you feel like you can’t accept it?”

“…not exactly,” lu ye replied.

qi yanbai’s actions hadn’t caused him any actual harm. he hadn’t crossed any legal boundaries, and he hadn’t deeply wounded lu ye’s heart. lu ye was straightforward and didn’t hold grudges over this incident. besides, he genuinely liked qi yanbai, and his emotional inclinations had been leaning more towards qi yanbai, especially after meeting elvis. this inclination had become increasingly evident, with a tendency to fully lean towards one side.

however, the problem lay in the fact that even though lu ye still liked qi yanbai, there was still a mental hurdle in his heart that he couldn’t overcome. it was blocking his way forward, making it impossible to move forward or retreat.

“i just keep thinking that if he could lie to me because he likes me this time, who knows if he’ll lie to me again for something else in the future,” lu ye admitted honestly. “i know i might be overthinking it, but it might be a professional habit. i just can’t help myself…”

“why don’t you talk to him and tell him that you don’t like this?” lu wenyu asked.

lu ye was taken aback for a moment.

lu wenyu leaned in slightly, took the cigarette from lu ye’s fingertips, moved away from where lu mingming was sitting, lowered her head, lit the cigarette with a lighter, took a deep breath, and exhaled a thin puff of white smoke.

“i remember when you were ten, you found a little stray dog on your way home from school,” lu wenyu suddenly said. “you were so full of compassion at that time, you brought it home and insisted on keeping it. but the little dog was out of control, it chewed on the sofa, peed everywhere at home, which made our parents furious. they wanted to throw the dog out. what did you say back then?”

“you insisted on keeping it, saying that you would take responsibility for it. so, you fed it, walked it day and night, taught it to sit, shake hands, and not destroy things. you trained it for three months, and it became obedient.” lu wenyu said, tapping the cigarette ash into the ashtray on the coffee table. she gave lu ye a meaningful look. “of course, i’m not disrespecting teacher qi, but back then, you had so much confidence even with an animal which can’t speak, believing you could train it well. so why are you hesitating now when facing a boyfriend who can communicate and cares about whether you’re happy or not?”

“can’t they be the same?” lu ye forced a smile and said, “qi yanbai is a human.”

of course, lu ye would never compare qi yanbai to a dog, but lu wenyu’s words did hit a nerve and addressed a part of his thoughts.

qi yanbai did need guidance and discipline, but humans were different from other creatures. once you decided to intervene in someone else’s life, you had to bear an equal responsibility.

while they were talking, little lu mingming, who had been playing with building blocks on the side, finally understood the topic and couldn’t help but raise her head, looking at lu ye with a puzzled expression.

“uncle, did you have a fight with teacher qi?” little mingming got up and sat down beside lu ye, reaching out to shake his arm. “don’t be mad at him.”

“hmm?” lu ye came back to his senses, furrowed his brow, and asked with a somewhat subtle tone, “did he ask you to tell me this?”

lu wenyu believed in independent education for children and didn’t usually avoid topics in front of lu mingming except for those unsuitable for children. but lu ye thought that adult matters should be left to adults. he felt that it was a bit unethical to involve a child as an intermediary, no matter how much she liked him.

fortunately, lu mingming quickly shook her head and said it wasn’t because of him.

“last week, i saw teacher qi was in a bad mood and asked him myself,” lu mingming said. “he said he did something wrong and was struggling with how to make amends.”

lu ye looked at lu mingming as she spoke and asked, “what did you say to him then?”

“i taught him,” lu mingming said proudly. “i told teacher qi that as long as he apologizes sincerely, it’s okay. mom used to tell me that as long as you sincerely get along with people, treat them well, they can always feel it.”

“sincerity,” that word brushed gently in lu ye’s heart, and he remembered qi yanbai’s awkward and ordinary text messages, as well as the umbrella hung on his doorknob early in the morning on a rainy day.

would qi yanbai listen to lu mingming and start treating him sincerely? lu ye wasn’t sure, but it was evident that he had taken lu mingming’s words to heart. he was impatient to see him and yet still restraining himself, just awkwardly and earnestly trying to be good to him.

“she’s right,” lu wenyu inserted a word of advice as she saw the opportunity, “this is how you should be as a person. be bold, persist when you’re right, and make amends when you’re wrong. in the end, even if the outcome isn’t good, at least you’ve tried.”

“why do i feel like there’s more to your words?” lu ye raised an eyebrow and said, “sis, you never used to pay this much attention to my emotional issues. why are you so willing to help him this time?”

lu wenyu wasn’t one to meddle in other people’s affairs, especially in matters of the heart. her willingness to speak well of qi yanbai indeed surprised lu ye.

“you’re mistaken, i’m not helping him,” lu wenyu took a puff of her cigarette, smiled at lu ye through the hazy smoke, and said, “i want to help you find some courage, find an opportunity to face ‘deception’ head-on.”

“why do i need to confront that?” lu ye smiled and said, “besides, i’ve faced it many times before. am i not used to it?”

“but you’ve never really resolved it,” lu wenyu pointed out sharply.

lu wenyu had always known about lu ye’s emotional struggles, and over the years, she realized that he hadn’t truly developed the ability to deal with “deception.”

in fact, his reactions and actions when facing “deception” were often correct – when hurt, one should cut ties decisively instead of sinking into meaninglessness. however, his mindset was far from as straightforward as his actions. regardless of how he appeared or how resolute he seemed in handling things, he was still easily hurt by lies.

so, he needed an opportunity to learn how to confront this issue; he couldn’t keep letting the same knife cut him repeatedly.

otherwise, when he could easily walk away from people who didn’t matter to him, what would he do if he was genuinely hurt by someone he couldn’t let go of one day?

the smile on lu ye’s face faded, and his eyes flickered as he looked away from lu wenyu, shifting his gaze to lu mingming, who was now sitting a bit far from them, munching on snowflake pastries.

children were sensitive yet oblivious; they could easily sense subtle atmospheres but were clueless about the adults’ inner turmoil.

after a while, he sighed softly and said, “i understand what you mean.”

“obviously, my relationship with teacher qi is nowhere near as close as the one i have with you,” lu wenyu said. “to me, his first role is as your boyfriend.” she smiled at lu ye through the lingering smoke. “it’s not that i think he’s perfect, but i feel that if you haven’t broken up with him, it means he either hasn’t done something terribly wrong, or you like him enough to make you hesitate.”

she finished her cigarette and extinguished it in the ashtray. “so, since that’s the case, why not give it a try?”

lu ye didn’t respond immediately. he seemed lost in thought for a moment, then extended his hand and picked up the fruit crumbs that had fallen on the carpet.

“sis,” after a while, lu ye finally spoke, changing the subject, “i’m hungry. let’s eat.”

lu wenyu knew that he had made up his mind, so she didn’t try to persuade him any further. she simply nodded and gestured for him to wash his hands before eating.

after dinner, lu wenyu had initially wanted to invite lu ye to stay the night, but he declined.

“i’d better go back,” lu ye said. “i’ll take a day off the day after tomorrow, so it’ll be more convenient to organize my reports tomorrow.”

“alright,” lu wenyu walked him to the door and reminded him, “be careful on the way back, and let me know when you get home.”

“i will,” lu ye smiled and replied.

lu ye’s sister’s villa was located quite a distance from his own home, almost spanning the entire city. by the time he left her place, it was already late in the evening.

when he got to his community entrance, most of the lights in the building had been turned off. lu ye entered the elevator with an unlit cigarette in his mouth, staring at the floor indicator as the numbers jumped one by one. he seemed lost in thought.

in fact, lu ye knew that lu wenyu was right. he was also well aware that his heart was leaning heavily towards qi yanbai. but as he stood in the narrow and cramped elevator car, staring at his reflection in the mirrored door, it felt like he had suddenly been transported back to the front door of his patents’ house many years ago.

— that time, he had decisively made a decision and left home, while this time, he hadn’t been able to make his choice yet.

unbeknownst to him, the indicator light had just reached the designated floor, and the elevator doors slid open with a chime. lu ye snapped back to reality, took the cigarette out of his mouth, and as he stepped out of the elevator, he happened to see a familiar figure walking towards him.

qi yanbai was dressed neatly, appearing as though he was about to go out. when he saw lu ye stepping out of the elevator, he hesitated for a moment but then his eyes suddenly lit up, and he urgently called out.

“lu ye!”

lu ye paused for a moment, instinctively assessing him with his eyes.

over these past few days, qi yanbai didn’t seem to have changed much, just a bit thinner. his overcoat hung loosely on him, making him look somewhat fragile.

but the fact that he was happy to see lu ye was evident. he greedily looked over every inch of lu ye, then took a few quick steps towards him, as if afraid that lu ye might run away, and instinctively grabbed his arm.

“i thought you weren’t coming back today after work?” it was clear that qi yanbai was making an effort to avoid bringing up unpleasant memories. he lowered his voice, trying to be patient, and spoke naturally, saying, “during this time when you weren’t at home, i missed you a lot.”

including today, it had been nearly half a month since lu ye had seen qi yanbai.

half a month might not be long or short, but it was certainly enough for adults in a fast-paced life to develop new habits. however, qi yanbai’s enthusiasm for him seemed undiminished, unaffected by this period of neglect.

the corridor was dim and quiet, with only a few night lights lit. lu ye kept his eyes lowered as he met qi yanbai’s gaze. he saw the overflowing joy in qi yanbai’s eyes.

no one can remain indifferent to such pure affection, and lu ye was no exception. his heart softened uncontrollably, and his gaze briefly swept over the neatly dressed collar of qi yanbai. finally, he didn’t ignore him but took the cigarette out of his mouth, softly hummed, and casually asked, “are you going out?”

“not really, i was thinking of going for a walk,” qi yanbai smiled and said, “but since you’re back, i don’t have to.”

go for a walk? lu ye suddenly wondered, did qi yanbai have a habit of taking midnight walks before?

the moment this thought emerged, lu ye suddenly shivered and belatedly realized a problem — it seemed like a trust crisis had arisen between him and qi yanbai. so much so that during this “long-awaited reunion,” his first thought wasn’t one of surprise at their chance encounter but rather an urge to scrutinize qi yanbai’s intentions, to guess whether he was lying.

this was by no means a normal reaction. a chill ran down lu ye’s spine, and he suddenly had a foreboding feeling.

could a relationship survive amidst suspicion, lu ye wondered.

the answer was undoubtedly no.

all relationships in this world could only be built on the foundation of “trust” and “security.” if either of these elements was lacking, the relationship would become a precarious castle in the air, liable to collapse at any moment and turn into a pile of ruins.

this realization hit him like a bucket of cold water, and for a moment, lu ye felt a deep chill in his heart. the scales in his mind, influenced by rationality, were about to tilt and make a decision.

“yanbai—”

the moment these words slipped from lu ye’s lips, it seemed like qi yanbai understood something from his gaze. his face changed, and he took a step forward, covering lu ye’s mouth as if forcing him to swallow the rest of his sentence.

“lu ye, listen to me,” qi yanbai finally couldn’t pretend anymore and urgently interrupted him. “i don’t know what you’re thinking, but i’ve been thinking a lot these past few days. i can’t guarantee anything, but i do know i was wrong.”

“give me another chance,” qi yanbai locked eyes with him, gritting his teeth. “i’ll do better and always listen to you.”

as he spoke, qi yanbai’s sleeve slid down his arm, revealing the bracelet on his wrist.

the well-maintained metal glinted under the motion-activated lights. lu ye’s gaze followed the light until it landed on the bead bracelet. suddenly, his breath caught, and he belatedly remembered the simple and crude pink slip of paper he had drawn when he bought the rings. it had foretold the course of his and qi yanbai’s relationship, like some kind of guiding prophecy that had revealed the ending to him without his knowledge.

but lu ye’s gaze remained fixed on that bead bracelet. in his mind, he couldn’t help but recall what the salesperson had said when she gave him the bead bracelet to “counteract bad luck.”

“when fortune turns, hardships will be followed by good times.”

these ten words seemed like a kind of spell, an extension of fate, and in that moment, lu ye felt that maybe it wasn’t that important whether qi yanbai had really intended to go for a walk just now.

in reality, lu ye understood that perhaps he only needed a place to anchor his reluctance, to provide himself with a legitimate excuse not to let go — and now that anchor had appeared. his wavering balance was finally given that last nudge, and it tilted uncontrollably to one side.

qi yanbai might not fully understand trust and honesty, but at least he wasn’t very good at lying. coupled with lu ye’s extensive “re-education” experience, he could always “teach” him how to deal with relationships.

responsibility is responsibility, and risk is risk, lu ye suddenly thought. anyway, qi yanbai had just said he would listen to him.

the question that had plagued him for over a dozen days was finally resolved at this moment. lu ye’s heart relaxed, his gaze focused into a sharp and resolute line.

he looked at the bead bracelet on qi yanbai’s wrist and decided to give qi yanbai and himself another chance, a chance for a new beginning.