Chapter Ten

The next morning I had prepared breakfast even before grandma woke up. She found me sitting in the living room with a cup of coffee - filled to the brim - in my hand. The television was on in front of me with its sound muted. I didn't even know what channel it was on despite my eyes settled on the screen.

It was already past lunch time by the time I came home yesterday. Grandma wasn't home and she had left me a note saying she'd be back by seven in the evening. The quiet in the house didn't help calm down the raging thoughts in my head. If anything, it fueled my confusion.

Insecurities and need for validation reared their ugly heads, and before I could've lost myself among my thoughts, my phone started ringing. I ignored it the first time, but it rang again and again until I irritatingly picked it up.

"How much longer?" Tay questioned from the other side.

"I'm busy, Tay." I snapped at him and was about to cut the call when he stopped me.

"Woah. What's wrong?" From the other side I heard him open and close the door as he spoke.

"Sorry. I just don't feel like talking." I laid down on the couch and curled into myself.

"Yeah, that's why I'm asking what's wrong." This time I heard pots clanking in the background.

"You seem busy, I'll talk to you later." I tried to cut the call again.

"Stop making excuses and tell me what's wrong." He said and I heard all the noise in the background quiet down. "Is grandma okay?" He hesitantly asked when I didn't say anything for a few moments.

I nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me. "She's okay."

"What's it then?" He probed again.

"I really don't want to talk about it. Please." The last word was whispered out of desperation and it seemed to have worked as Tay dropped the subject right away. Although he still continued to talk to me about everything he could think of for another hour or so.

Talking to Tay helped elevate my mood significantly. I no longer felt alone and confused. Our random conversation made me realize that I wanted to have such a conversation with Nicolas. Every time I heard Tay mention something amusing, I wondered how Nicolas would've reacted to it. I wondered if he would've laughed or just smiled, and it made me want to see him smile. I was sure his smile would've made me lose my mind the instant it appeared.

All of those thoughts brought out the courage in me. I decided to turn those imaginations of mine into reality. I certainly didn't want to give up before trying. Despite saying that, I didn't manage to catch a wink that night.

I was up all night, conjuring up different scenarios about the next day. Though the most of them were too far fetched, I was more than happy to imagine things turning out favourable no matter what I said.

The sun still hadn't come out when I decided to get out of bed. My body felt unusually heavy and stiff as I forced myself to take a shower and go downstairs. I settled on fixing breakfast for grandma to kill some time and made myself a cup of coffee to stop feeling like a zombie.

I saw grandma eyeing me while I drank my coffee and she ate her breakfast. Although she didn't say anything to me until I finished my coffee and went to wash the dishes.

"Are you okay?" She asked from behind.

"Yeah. Just had a lot on my mind." After that, none of us said a word and I busied myself with the dishes and the laundry afterward.

One of the perks of getting up so early was that I was done with most of the house chores way before lunch time. I completed the preparation for lunch, before stepping out and leaving a note for grandma to let her know I went for a walk.

My feet carried me back to the woods without much effort. The effects of coffee were starting to wear off and I yawned every few minutes or so. I thought about taking a nap before stepping out but I felt like I had delayed going there for more than enough already.

The first thing I noticed when I stepped into the clearing was Nicolas' absence. He was nowhere to be found and instead Marco was conducting the training in his place. Tobias wasn't around either.

I sat down leaning against the same tree as yesterday and waited for Marco to be done. He was circling the kids in the middle, helping few of them with their posture after every punch they practiced.

Many adults of the pack weren't around either. Only a handful of them were sparring on the right while the left side's posts were all vacant.

Marco soon noticed me and came over with a smile. "I thought you ran away."

"Didn't even think about it." I assured him.

Before I could've asked him about Nicolas, he answered on his own. "It's Tobias' birthday. Nicolas and the rest of the members are preparing for it."

"Can you wish him from my side?" I asked looking over to the vacant posts on the field. "I'll bring him a present tomorrow, if that's okay."

"Why don't you wish him on your own? I will take you to him. Come on." He extended his hand toward me and gestured for me to get up.

"But I don't have a present right now."

"You don't need one. Just your presence will be enough." When I didn't get up he continued. "He cried for hours after you left yesterday. Poor boy. He'll probably cry again if he heard you came all the way here left without meeting him."

If that was his attempt at guilt tripping me, needless to say it worked. I was on my feet in a second and ready to follow him.

"Wait here." He walked back to the clearing and said something inaudible to the kids. All the kids nodded and continued practicing before he came back. "Let's go."

He led through the trees on the left side of the clearing. The trees weren't as close knitted as the ones surrounding the clearing from before. And soon we stepped into another clearing. Similar looking wooden huts lined the boundary of the clearing, leaving just about enough space for a few people to pass in between.

In the middle, pack members were gathered. Few of them seemed to be cooking something in huge pots over the fire, while others were tying different hand painted 'happy birthday' banners to the trees around. All of them were chattering among themselves and had a smile on their faces. They seemed like a huge happy family.

Marco grabbed my upper arm and pulled me closer to them when I didn't move for another minute. I no longer felt like disturbing them with my presence.

"Where's Tobias?" He asked the man leaning over the pot and stirring some kind of curry in it. The man didn't even look up, instead he just pointed to a lone hut in the back.

On our way there, I felt everyone's gaze at us, the fact that Marco still held my arm didn't help. The chattering died down as we walked by and I smiled back at everyone who waved or smiled at me. The rest just tried to stare at me without making any eye contact.

He didn't knock on the door, instead he just stepped in and I followed closely behind. There wasn't much furniture inside the cabin. A round tall table with two chairs on the right, which looked a bit too chipped and cracked to be still in use, honestly. On the far left, a stack of futons and pillows was placed.

I saw Nicolas and Tobias seated behind the circular low table in the middle of the room. Tobias seemed to be writing something in a notebook while Nicolas held his hand and guided him. His eyes snapped up to mine, the minute I stepped beside Marco.

For some reason, I couldn't hold his gaze for more than a few seconds and my eyes drifted to Tobias. He didn't look up for another few seconds, until he noticed that Nicolas' hand was no longer moving over his. He looked up at him before looking at me and giving me his precious toothless smile.

I waved at him and he waved back. On a second thought, I waved at Nicolas too after that. He looked like it was the last thing he expected me to do and that's exactly what I was thinking too. I dropped my hand and smiled awkwardly when he neither waved back nor smiled. I probably would've gotten offended if he still didn't look so utterly shocked.

"Happy birthday, Tobias." I wished Tobias - without giving Nicolas another glance - and crouched down when I saw him getting off Nicolas' lap and half running half walking toward me.

My heart warmed when he glued himself to my crouching figure and giggled beside my ear.

"I forgot your birthday present though. Forgive me?" I said, after he let me go.

His grin didn't falter and he grabbed my hand to pull me toward the table in the middle. "You can make a card for me like Nico."

He pulled on my hand until he got me seated right beside Nicolas and settled himself in Nicolas' lap. Then he fished out a white blank paper from underneath the colour pens scattered across it and handed it to me.

I accepted the paper before sneaking a look at the card Nicolas and Tobias were preparing. A messy 'happy birthday' was written across the folded paper and a few doodles surrounded it. It looked more like Tobias' doing than Nicolas'.

"Do you need my help like Nico?" He asked when I folded the paper in half.

I shook my head without looking up and picked up a random coloured pen to get started. Not a second went by before Marco came over and tried to fit himself around the table. The table wasn't huge enough to fit three grown men at the same time, but Marco seemed determined to sit beside us.

"I wanna make a birthday card too." Marco whined, clutching his already touching knees together. He gestured for me to move closer to Nicolas and I moved instinctively. But the more I moved, the more closer he asked me to move.

By the time he could fit himself beside us, Nicolas' and my knee were overlapping and I could feel heat transferring even through our layers of clothing. I hid my flushed cheeks by lowering my head and just focusing on the blank paper in front of me.

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You're beautiful. Thanks for reading!