Chapter Thirteen

One Week Later

I was a coward.

I wasn't acting like a coward. I wasn't behaving like a coward. I was a coward. A hundred and ten percent. I had been avoiding Dickhead for a week. Ever since he had burst into the study smelling of earth and heavenly manliness that made my knees weak and arousal pool low in my belly. It was the bond's fault for my cowardice because the male was too intense. Even when I tried to ignore how he had captured me against the desk, I felt the bond nearly doing the cha-cha at how close he was. The greedy little thing survived on fucking scraps.

I fumed as I scrubbed at the floor. Then I had to go and touch him because he looked one second away from snapping and ravishing me on the desk, which wouldn't have been too terrible. In fact it would have been down right pleasurable for both of us. Just imagining his hands on my skin was enough to make me melt. I slapped myself across the face for the thought. The loud crack made my face sting and Gamgam laugh.

"Thinking dirty thoughts again, aren't you?" She was laughing at my irritation and pain. She enjoyed it and I scowled at the floor as I returned to scrubbing it. Cleaning was the only way I had convinced Gamgam to help me hide from Dickhead and much to my fucking annoyance the slaps weren't helping me like they were before.

Dickhead still managed to find me around the house. We ate fucking meals together and he ignored my death glares as he chattered on about his day in that soft but rumbly voice of his. I would have escaped but the two fucking wilds were always on my ass about leaving the house. They followed me everywhere and it had been easier to stay inside when the pack members had started to question my presence on the territory. The house was large enough to hide in and I preferred the weird game of hide and seek Dickhead and I had going on to the pack members finding out about our dirty little secret.

I scrubbed at a difficult spot on the floor as the scowl darkened my face. I didn't want to be a coward about the situation but it was like nothing I did stopped the bond. The more time I spent with Dickhead the harder it became to ignore those incessant feelings. I couldn't push them away like I used to. I half wondered if it was because of my wolf. She couldn't lend me her strength so the human side of me was too weak to adequately fight against the urges and feelings.

"You know, the moon's pull is just going to get worse." Gamgam was chopping something on the cutting board and I silently glared at the floor, knowing better than to glare at her. My head still hurt from the good smack with the spoon she had given me earlier.

"Be quiet, Gamgam. I can deal with this." I gritted my teeth and wiped at the wet spot on the floor with a dry towel before moving over four feet and starting all over again. I would have used mops but Gamgam told me hand scrubbing the floors got them cleaner. I think she did it deliberately to try and irritate me.

"No you can't. That males gets within ten feet of you and nearly everyone can smell how he affects you." There was a tone in her voice that let me know she was smirking. Despite myself I could feel my face burning hotly at her words. No one wanted to hear that others could smell their unwanted arousal.

"That is not true." I hissed the words out and she merely chuckled. I scrubbed at the floor as if it were her lined face. The female was infuriating. Her only redeeming quality was how mouthy she got with Dickhead.

"If you think so, pisică." She chuckled at my growl of annoyance at the nickname. I thanked Mene with all I had that she didn't know the growl of annoyance had little to do with her using the nickname and more to do with the fact it always brought Dickhead's version of it to mind. How his soft and rumbling voice caressed each syllable it contained. It was distracting and irritating to hear him in my head when I was trying my best to avoid him completely.

"Don't call me that!" I looked over at her and she smirked at me, her blue eyes crinkling slightly.

"I know, I know. Only Sterling can call you that." At that I let out a groan of frustration before blowing some strands of hair from my face.

"You know I didn't mean it like that. Stop being so irritating, Gamgam." I turned back to my scrubbing. There was almost something relaxing about the rhythmic back and forth motions I used. My muscles didn't much care for the unusual work but my mind certainly didn't mind it. The bond enjoyed it more when I relaxed too much. It always brought me thoughts of Dickhead's muscled form dripping with sweat or water or any other liquid substance that the bond thought I would enjoy moving down his muscles.

There was a reason my cheeks were nearly always sore. I slapped myself more often than not in an attempt to get the bond to dislodge the images from my brain. It rarely worked and so I had a good little off-limits library in my head that was solely dedicated to Dickhead in various states of undress. I was not impressed that it was there, nor was I impressed the bond saw fit to take random pictures out at inopportune times.

"Carrie, Noah was wanting you to make up a picnic for him and Jessie." The door to the kitchen shut and I inwardly grimaced at Ian's voice. The dude was going to earn himself a nickname if he didn't stop trying to bother me. His words registered in my brain and I felt myself still.

"Excuse me? You come into my kitchen to tell me to make a fucking picnic basket as if I were some sort of slave? Have you lost your fucking mind? Tell that selfish prick if he wants a goddamn picnic basket he needs to get in here and make it himself! I have my own shit to do!" Gamgam's kitchen voice pierced the air and I smirked at the floor as I continued to scrub at the tiles. This was why I put up with her nosiness and her blunt words. The female could cut a person down and out better than I could. She was almost like my personal hero when that mouth of hers was aimed at someone else. "I still have two meals to plan for the entire fucking pack. Do you think I have time to make a fucking picnic? Fucking dipshit, you should know that he was only sending you as cannon fodder." Gamgam's voice was rising in pitch and I felt a thread of glee fill me. She was getting ready for an epic blow up and I hoped it was aimed right at Ian's face.

"You know what, you slimy little shit? You tell that motherfucker that he can get his ass in here. I'll make him a nice fucking picnic basket. Be really pretty with a big fucking bow on it." She was starting to breath heavy and the glee I felt had grown into a full blown maniacal happiness. "Fill it with tiny sandwiches cut into fancy shapes, a fruit platter, and a veggie tray. Make it all nice and beautiful and so when he comes in I can take that beautiful, pretty bowed up basket, bend him over my fucking island and shove it up his fucking ass." I wanted to cheer. No one told Gamgam what to do. Ever. Anger made her voice tremble and I slowly sat up. Her lined face was slightly red as she gripped the counter with what looked to be a rather strong grip.

"And if you don't get out of my fucking kitchen and tell him that then I will bend you over and fuck you in the ass with a rolling pin." She said it lightly, the warning clear. Get the fuck out and stay out. I glanced at Ian and his eyes flicked to me. I wanted to smirk as Gamgam launched into action, smacking him with her trusty wooden spoon repeatedly. "Don't you fucking look away from me, you stupid whelp! She isn't going to help you, she doesn't even like you! Out! Get out of my kitchen!" She chased him out of the kitchen, the sound of her wooden spoon hitting flesh filling the air. I couldn't help it and laughed loudly, deep belly laughs that shook my frame as I curled up on the slightly wet tiles.

"Goddess do I love you." I managed to get the words out between guffaws of laughter as tears streamed down my cheeks. Ian's face had been priceless. There was no doubt that the only reason he had come into the kitchen was to see me or to inquire about my where-bouts. Noah needing a basket had just been an excuse.

"I know you do, fetita." Her voice was still a bit snappish but I brushed it off as residual anger. "That boy needs to think with his head and not his pecker. Mene knows you don't give him anything to go on. Like a fucking dog chasing his tail that one." She muttered the words under her breath and I couldn't help but dissolve into giggles once more. I fought to get back to my position as I grabbed the scrub brush once more.

"Ian sniffing around where he doesn't belong again, Gamgam?" At the rumbling timbre of his voice I froze, all amusement gone.

I glared at the floor and started scrubbing again. "Sounds like someone else I know." I muttered the words under my breath but Gamgam and her super fucking hearing must have caught them because she tsked at me.

"Don't be like that, pup." Her voice held a warning. She didn't much care for my blatant hatred for Dickhead and the bond. She found it 'disrespectful' while I found it necessary. No use in him getting attached to me or worse yet, me getting attached to him. I didn't do feelings or mate bonds. It was better to just push everything away. Not that I could escape, I had told Maricella the truth. Mene said what she said and I would listen but that didn't mean I would do it without a fight.

"What?" I looked at her and wrinkled my nose. I wouldn't censor myself just like she wouldn't and she knew that. Her eyes twinkled with amusement for a moment before she schooled her face into the stern look she wore whenever someone intruded onto her territory. I turned back to the floor and moved the scrub brush back and forth once more.

"Come, Pisică." His rumbling voice smoothed over the blatant command but it didn't stop me from bristling at it.

"I'm not a fucking dog, Dickhead." I spat the words out as I scrubbed at the floor aggressively. I gritted my teeth, promising myself that if he said anything about 'technically you are close enough to a dog with being a shifter.' I would straight up peg him in his family jewels with the scrub brush. He would never have children and Gamgam would stop bothering me about placing a bun in my proverbial oven.

"I need your help in the study." He said it carefully, as if he were dealing with something he knew would blow up in his face and the thought, for some strange reason, pissed me off. I was hormonal and emotional around him and I didn't like it one bit.

"Like hell you do!" I threw the scrub brush into the bucket of water, ignoring the soapy water that splashed out at the rather violent action. Dickhead wanted me in the study so he could feed the bond like a little prick. I was onto his games. The douchebag was supposed to reject me, that was the reason he didn't want his pack to know. That was the only way I could get out of this situation, my one loophole.

"Pisică, get up and off the floor before I take my spoon and paddle your ass raw." At Gamgam's order I let out an angry groan. I turned my head and glowered at her darkly.

"I take it back. I don't love you anymore." I stared at her, daring her to say anything in return to my rather childish words. I knew it was a lie but I hoped to Mene she didn't. However I wasn't stupid enough to actually believe that.

"Yah and I don't believe you. Now go." She gestured with the wooden spoon and I narrowed my eyes at her as I slowly stood up. I didn't want to look at Dickhead. That made me feel things and I really didn't want to feel anything towards him but disgust and or hate. However the bond refused to let me feel such comforting emotions. So all I felt was lust, happiness, giddy, and just plain hormonal when I looked at him. It was disgusting. She pointed at the door with the spoon, giving me a look that clearly read if I didn't get my ass out of her kitchen she would take matters into her own hands. "Go." The tone said it all and I huffed but spun on my heel and stormed towards the door.

I hated how my nerves tingled as I drew closer to him. I hated how the bond's urges were for me to touch him, to let him touch me, to lean closer and take his scent deep into my lungs. I went to move past him and turned sharply, keeping my body from coming into contact with him as I slid out of the doorway. "Don't touch me." It seemed to be a reflex for me now. The words escaping before I really registered them in my mind at all. It pleased me that my mind had some foresight where he was concerned.

"Never without your permission, pisică." He said to so smoothly the words seemed to slide on my skin. I gritted my teeth in irritation as the bond enjoyed the tone of his voice, urging me to give in and enjoy it as well. However I still had a brain and wasn't functionally stupid enough to fall for it.

"Do you enjoy pissing me off? Why do you need my help?" I couldn't help the disdain in my voice as I spoke. I headed for the stairs, hyper aware that Dickhead was following behind me.

"Hunters are coming today and I figured you would like to do some paperwork for me instead of scrubbing floors." He said it in an almost off-hand manner and I hated that he was plying me with paperwork. It wasn't nice or fair. I hated the fact I had let it slip that I enjoyed doing it. I practically stomped up the stairs. "My pisică, I rescued from Carrie's kitchen of terror. You should be thanking me." His voice was slightly mocking.

"I was quite happy there." I ground the words out and he gave a small chuckle.

"I know. That's why I let you pretend you were successful in ignoring me." There was a heavy amount of smugness to his voice that had me snapping my head to look at him.

"Excuse me?" I knew he had not just said what I thought he had said. If he said anything about knowing where I was because of the bond or someone he sent to spy on me, I would flip out.

"You honestly didn't think that I didn't know where you were, did you? Pisică, there's no place on this territory where I cannot sense your presence. You are a bright beacon of light for me, I know exactly where you are because my body is completely attuned to yours. It begs me to mark you, make you mine." His last few words made shivers erupt over me and the bond to whisper at me harder than before. I bit back a groan and scowled. It was his fault and the entire situation was just a result of it. He was fully on board for the bond and that pissed me off.

"Only fools listen to the bond, Dickhead." I spat the name over my shoulder as I quickly made my way up the stairs.

"Only fools fight fate." His voice was slightly mocking and I resisted the urge to turn around and kick him down the stairs. It was an almost bone deep urge that I had to repress, the bond did not seem to enjoy it and a flood of warm feelings flooded my system. The bond's response to my violent urges didn't dim them, it subdued my anger but made me want to kick him down the stairs that much more.

"Fate is a poor male's hope. Fate doesn't dictate our actions. We do." I reached the top if the stairs and practically stomped down the hall. "So stop succumbing to the bond and reject me like you obviously want to!" I knew I was acting childish but I couldn't help acting petulant with Dickhead and the bond. Things weren't going how I knew they should have gone.

"Where did you hear that, pisică?" He sounded amused and I gritted my teeth harder as I yanked open his office door. Michael and Ezekiel were already waiting in the room and I glowered at the space taken up on the couch. It was an ugly, uncomfortable thing but if it meant I was far away from Dickhead then I was happy with it.

"Well that's why you won't tell anyone, right? So fucking get on with it." I crossed my arms over my chest, shuffling away from him as he entered. To my irritation he chuckled as he moved to his desk.

"Pisică, I didn't tell anyone about the bond because it would place huge pressure on you. I don't want you to become panicked or afraid because of the pack's incessant nagging to produce an heir for me." He said it softly and I hated how it made my heart flutter slightly. I hated the fact I was powerless to stop them even more. My own body was betraying me and it let me know just how much shit I was in.

"I don't need your protection from your pack. If they ever ask me about an heir, I will personally shove my foot so far up their ass they will taste rubber." I glowered at him from the corner of my eye and he laughed loudly as he shook his head. I didn't need him doing anything for me. It made the bond impossible to deal with. I was already having troubles sleeping, my skin itched to touch him and I knew it was because I had lapsed and given into the urge to touch him as he pinned me against he desk. True it was for self-preservation because I knew if I hadn't touched him he would have touched me and I knew that wasn't anything good.

"You have been spending too much time around Gamgam." Dickhead seemed to ponder his words for a moment and I scowled darkly. If he didn't appreciate my attitude he could shove it.

"Gamgam and I are fine. This is just my usual personality. I'm a bitch, get fucking used to it." I sneered at him as he sent me a narrowed eyed appraising look.

"Well technically-"

"Don't you fucking dare, 'well technically' my ass. If you don't like my attitude you are more than welcome to reject me and set me free like you should have done from the start." I glared at him darkly and he tilted his head at me slightly.

"Come here, my little cat." He crooked a finger at me and it was if it had a string attached to me because I felt a strange tugging sensation in my chest at the motion. The bond was up to no good and my eyes narrowed even further.

"I am not going anywhere near you." It was something I needed to keep firm. The closer I got to him, the more my body reacted and the deeper the bond's claws dug into my brain's chemistry and hormone center.

"The Hunters have arrived and I would like my mate to be by my side where I can protect her." His eyes had darkened and I gave him an unimpressed look. I didn't understand why he had to look so attractive. His hair looked windswept and he was wearing his glasses but the slight scruff on his jaw gave him a savage edge that seemed at odds for his entire demeanour. I could practically see how perfectly in balance he was with his wolf as he looked at me. It seemed they were balanced only when it came to my protection.

I took a small step towards him, still staring intently at him through narrowed eyes. I still did not want to be near him but I also knew better than to test the muddie in front of me. If I taunted his wolf too much he would end up doing something stupid, like marking me and that was something I didn't particularly want to have happen.

"Stop looking at me like I'm going to play a nasty trick on you and get over here." The order was obvious in his voice and it made my eyes narrow further with agitation. I didn't like being ordered to do anything, let alone something I didn't want to do.

"Stop telling me what to do." I ground the words out. I was an Alpha, I didn't get ordered around like a simple wolf. It was grating to me and my wolf, even as faint as she was.

"Okay. Pisică, would you please come over here?" He sounded irritated and I tilted my head, staying in the place I had stopped.

"Not with that attitude." I hated how much of a demanding prick he was. I hated how my blood was cursed to mate with Alpha Blood. Many thought it brought strength but it was actually a huge weakness and a huge pain in my ass. I would have been exceedingly happy with a weaker mate, someone of a lesser status, one who wouldn't demand things from me.

"You need to come over here before I come over and get you." His words made my breath hitch in my chest, images of his hands on my skin filled my head and my hand itched with the urge to slap myself. I needed them gone from my head but I knew the action would only cause questions I did not particularly want to answer.

"Fucking demanding Alpha prick." I muttered it just loud enough for him to hear as I slowly made my way to his desk and slowly moved to stand behind it. Michael and Ezekiel took either side of the desk, they laid down looking relaxed but I could see how their muscles bunched with anticipation.

"Can't say I'm the only one, pisică." He was looking at me but I simply stared at the top of his desk, becoming aware of the sounds of boots moving down the hallway. Their rhythmic movements made me wonder just how many Hunters they had brought. I had figured out the paperwork and reports and everything was in order. So unless the Council had decided Dickhead needed to become simple Dick with the removal of his head, the meeting should have been a formality.

I moved closer to Dickhead without thinking. If they thought I would be letting anyone harm Dickhead, they were very much wrong with that assessment. If anyone was going to tear his head off it would be me in a fit of irritated rage because he denied me another rejection. "Easy, my pisică. Keep your claws in for a little while longer." He didn't touch me but there was a soft comfort in his voice that both irritated and soothed me. It was getting harder to differentiate my feelings from the feelings the bond forced on me. I lifted my chin and let my entire posture relax as the door opened. An older male walked inside followed by eight Hunters dressed in what appeared to be riot gear. A Council member had made a trip, this was not entirely the greatest and with how Dickhead stiffened I could see that he understood what pile of shit he had stepped in.

"Alpha Sterling." The older shifter nodded his head in respect to Dickhead and he gave him a short nod of acknowledgement. I could sense the feeling of unease that filled the room and I glanced at the various Hunters. To my surprise I could scent a few witches in the ranks. It shouldn't have surprised me but I was never one to hang around the obnoxiously flowery smelling creatures.

"Please, councilman, take a seat." Dickhead gestured to the strange chair with green stains on it and the council member nodded in thanks as he settled into the chair with a groan.

"That feels good on my old bones." He gave a soft smile as he looked around the room. His brown eyes landed on me and his mouth twitched upwards a touch more. "You are a pretty one, aren't you?" At that I felt Dickhead stiffen a bit more. Without thinking I reached out and laid my hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm the anger I knew was rolling under his skin. His muscles twitched under my hand but he relaxed a fraction.

The council member looked amused. "No need to worry, Alpha Sterling. I am happily mated to a lovely female for the past seventy years. I was just making conversation." He shrugged before he shook his head. "Actually, I was actually surprised to see that she is pretty enough that a cocky Hunter would make a pass at her with her mate in the room. Usually people lie about that." He did seem genuinely surprised and my face barely twitched. I had heard many variations of how pretty people viewed me but I was a shifter, we were almost naturally beautiful, so his words meant nothing to me.

"My name is Edwards, Jovan Edwards, and these are my personal guard." He gestured in an almost agitated fashion that had a slow smile crossing my face. The council member did not appreciate his personal guard.

"What? They didn't trust Alpha Sterling not to rip your throat out?" I said mockingly and Jovan laughed loudly before coughing a few times. His brown eyes sparkled with mirth.

"You have got that right, girlie." He patted his chest as he caught his breath. "I have lived for over ninety years and they send a bunch of pups to look after me as if your mate is going to eat me alive." He looked half amused half angry at their belief he couldn't take care of himself.

"I doubt he would harm you. Well maybe, you are very charming and I do feel myself being charmed." I winked at him with a bright smile on my face. I liked him. He wasn't at all like the puffed up council members I had been told about.

"Your mate is a flirt, Alpha Sterling." Jovan said it almost cheekily as he sent me a sly wink. I felt a strange sense of camaraderie with him as we both poked fun at my mate.

"She wasn't flirting with that Hunter if you are making assumptions." Dickhead's words were cold and Jovan waved his hand flippantly, looking almost horrified at the suggestion.

"Oh godess no. That was not my intention. I was just stating that she's a flirt and will cause all sorts of trouble if you aren't careful." He said it pleasantly and I pretended to look appalled.

"I take offence. I only flirt with pleasant company, councilman Edwards." I gave him a look and he chuckled before pressing a wrinkled hand to his chest.

"Oh I'm terribly sorry, my dear." There was a sly look in his eyes as he stared at my hand on Dickhead's shoulder. I started to pull it away, feeling uncomfortable but Dickhead growled low in his throat. I stiffened at the sound, my entire body locking into place.

I bent down close to his ear. Anger boiled over so fast and hard that the bond was overwhelmed and could do nothing to stop the bombardment of negative emotions that were rolling through me. "If you ever growl at me again, you won't have a throat to repeat the vocalization. If I say it is enough touching. It's enough." I said it low enough the others in the room couldn't hear as I yanked my hand away from his and stalked over to the couch keeping my face blank. I sat down as gracefully as I could with the anger racing through my veins.

"Pisică, please return to your previous position." Dickhead was gritting his teeth, anger rolling off of his frame rather ominously. He didn't like the disrespect but as Gamgam would have said, tough titties.

"I don't think so." I shifted on the couch. "Boys." At the clear call both Mike and Ezekiel were over at my side nearly instantly. Ezekiel jumped onto the couch, laying his head on my lap as Mike leaned against my legs, placing his head on the couch's armrest. I dug my hands into their fur, trying to calm down.

"Alpha Sterling, some words of wisdom for you. Never growl at your mate. Nothing makes a female shut down faster than a warning growl and whatever problem you were having before will seem completely inconsequential." Jovan said it slowly, as if the speed in which he said it would affect Dickhead's ability to actually listen to him. "I have been mated for seventy years to a wonderful female and I know better than to growl at her. Years of cold shoulders and harsh words have taught me that. Learn from my mistakes before you start making your own." There was a hint of wisdom to his words but I knew Dickhead wasn't going to be one to listen. All Alphas were the same in that regard. They would continue to make the same mistakes because they were so blinded by their pride and what they thought was right that they couldn't figure out different solutions to the problems at hand.

"Don't waste your breath, Jovan, he isn't intent upon listening to wise words." I waved my hand flippantly in the air before returning it to Ezekiel's head. "So why is it you are here, if not for my mate's head?" I tilted my head in stark amusement. He seemed far too laid back to have come for an execution.

"The young rarely listen to the words of the wise, don't they, dear?" He smiled at me before he gave another cough. "I am here on behalf of the Council to deliver the standard, 'you can't really murder everyone who looks at your mate' speech." Jovan repeated my gesture, flippantly waving his hand around as he seemed to relax further in the chair.

"He did more than look at her." Dickhead's voice was hard, all soft rumbling was gone as anger replaced it. He didn't like having his actions questioned, a typical Alpha response that I rolled my eyes at despite the bond trying to make me feel pleased that he would protect me.

"I am well aware that Hunter Jacobs, Hunter Tullis, and Enforcer Savage all laid hands on your mate. The report you sent in was quite detailed in all the infractions you witnessed and that your mate received. You showed magnificent restraint when Enforcer Savage assaulted your mate. Not many Alphas would have kept their heads after witnessing that." There was a faint note of respect in Jovan's voice and I settled further into the couch, letting my eyes flick over the eight Hunters in the room. I could sense at least three witches, their pungent flowery scent made me want to sneeze repeatedly. "That is the reason you are not on trial right now, Alpha Sterling." He heaved himself out of his chair and looked around.

"Do you have any whiskey on hand?" The question made my mouth twitch in amusement. I found myself liking the councilman more and more with each passing moment. I flicked my glance to Dickhead and he kept his expression blank as he shook his head.

"I have some in the study but I'm afraid I don't have any in here." He kept his tone clipped and polite but distant. The waves of anger had become muted but I wasn't sure if he was actually no longer mad or if he was just very good at hiding it. I believed it to be the latter more than the former.

"Well then, why are we still sitting here when we could be in the study nursing a nice cup of amber?" He looked almost appalled at the thought and I patted Ezekiel's head before standing up.

"Let me show you where it is, councilman Edwards." I smiled at him brightly but before he could respond Dickhead snapped his fingers and the two wilds were instantly on their feet.

"My two guardians will escort you to the study, councilman. Please make yourself at home and I will be down shortly." Dickhead's voice left no room for argument. For as weak as an Alpha as he was he was getting overbearingly demanding and it was grating on my nerves. I watched as Jovan nodded before following the wilds as they headed out the open door. When the last of the Hunters left Dickhead's fury battered at me. I glanced at him warily as his grey eyes darkened as he slowly got to his feet.

"Don't touch me." I said it carefully, my eyes narrowing at him as he moved around the desk. Each step seemed to be deliberate and each one made my heart thump in my chest. From fear or anticipation I wasn't sure. He stalked towards me and I held my ground, tilting my chin up as I stared at him. He said nothing as he moved closer to me. The bond hummed in excitement and I rolled my eyes. "If you touch me, Dickhead, I will remove your balls." Despite my ability to remain expressionless, I did not want to admit I felt almost scared shitless. Not because he would hurt me, Mene no, it was because he wouldn't.

That was more terrifying than him actually hitting me. I could expect violence if he was a violent male but his reactions could border from a stern warning to him ravishing me on the desk because the bond whispered that it was a good idea. That was more terrifying because I couldn't predict his actions, I couldn't counter them and I couldn't fight against him when he used the bond against me. He stopped his usually far too close distance, our chest nearly brushing as his scent swirled around me. I focused on the burning scent his anger gave him. It made a returning anger flare in me. The mate bond was good for something at least.

"You will never, and I mean never, undermine me in front of guests again." His voice was cold as I surrounded me, the bond whispered at me but I shoved it away as his anger fed mine. He conveniently forgotten why I had done so.

"And you will never growl at me in front of guests again. It's improper. Any personal issues we may have do not need to be seen in mixed company." I spat the words out. They were the goddess honest truth. I was brought up that any issues between mates needed to be discussed behind closed doors. It was why I never gave anyone any details other than I didn't want the mate bond.

"I have upset you." It was matter of fact how he stated it and I rolled my eyes. I resisted the urge to back away from him. When he said shit like that he would try to touch me.

"Look here, we have a fucking genius. Never growl at me. I don't care who the fuck you think you are, you do not have the right to growl at me for no longer touching you. I set the parameters of this fucked up situation, not you." I could taste the derision and anger that coated the words. It was a burnt yet sour taste lingering in the back of my throat. "If you don't fucking like it. Reject me." I found the strength to look up at him and regretted it pretty much immediately. The anger was completely gone from his body and it made it difficult to hold onto the anger I was feeling.

"Let me touch you." The words were said gently, his grey eyes soft and damn near warm as he looked down at me. He had lifted a hand, letting it hover over my cheek. I could practically feel the heat radiating off of it.

"Reject me first." I narrowed my eyes, trying my hardest to hold onto the anger I felt but it was becoming impossible.

"You could ask me that everyday for a thousand years and my answer will always be no." He said it evenly, truth ringing through every word. I hated how it made my heart jump and I hated how it wasn't from the bond even more. His words touched me not the bond. He wasn't allowed to touch me, with words or his hands.

"Real fucking cheesy, Romeo." I gritted my teeth, hating myself for letting him get to me. He brought his face closer to my own and I closed my eyes against it, against him. The fucking intensity he put off was nearly leg buckling.

"Let me touch you." His voice lowered and there was a faint taste of honey to his voice. It was like he was cajoling me to the demand but I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't let him touch me because it would mean the bond had won a battle and I wasn't willing to let the bond win anything.

"No." I hated how my voice wavered, I hated how desire flowed through me. I hated how his breath brushed my face. I hated how it made me shiver. I hated how much he affected me. I could feel my will weakening, he was too much to fight against. He was everything around me and it was a barrage I found I was woefully under prepared for.

"My pisică, let me touch you." His voice lowered another octave, it became almost sensual and sweet. It felt like his voice was running over my skin, goosebumps erupted over me and I wanted to tell him no. I wanted to but it was like the words got caught in my throat. A part of me, a morbidly sick part of me wanted to see what it felt like when he touched me. It wanted to see if it felt nicer than the previous fleeting touches. He fell still, sensing my give to his demand and I pressed my lips together, keeping my eyes closed. "It's okay, my cat. It's okay." His breathing was strained as his hand drew closer to my cheek.

I couldn't stop how I trembled. I couldn't stop how my body shook. Terror and anticipation wracked my frame. I couldn't help how sharply I inhaled as the rough skin of his hand slid across my cheek, cupping it. His calloused thumb brushed against my cheekbone and I shivered, unable to help it as his touch became everything. The bond fed hungrily, leeching chemical cocktails into my body, making me care, cementing the bond firmly into my skin. It was too much and I wanted to retreat. I wanted to pull away to leave the room and run from him. Panic started to saturate my form and I stiffened further.

"It's okay, my cat. It's okay." It was if he had sensed my panic as he moved closer, his chest brushing mine. He pressed his forehead to mine, my breathing was coming in ragged gasps and tears had filled my closed eyes. I didn't like it, it was too intense for me to understand or handle. "It's okay." The bond wanted the soft words to soothe me but I could only panic as his entire being seemed to want to consume me.

"Enough. That's enough." I needed him gone, I needed his intensity to be far away from me but I couldn't pull away. The bond had taken my weakening will and it was in full control. I had given it that control and I hated myself for it because I could sense the bond weaving itself deeper into my body, solidifying its hold over me. "Enough!" I couldn't help the panicked note in my voice, the pleading sound it made as he slowly stepped away and let his hand drop. I felt cold and empty without his presence and I wrapped my arms around my torso and crumpled into myself, wheezing through the panic that was constricting my chest and throat.

"My pisică, it's alright." He was crouching in front of me. I didn't need to have my eyes open to see it. The bond made me painfully aware of his exact location. "It's alright." I wanted to laugh, what had just happened was so far from alright it landed me straight in my own personal panic and anxiety hell.

"I never should have let you touch me." I wheezed the words out, the truth of the statement shocked me and I knew it hurt him. The truth could cut deeper than a sword at times.

"I know." He said it softly before he moved closer. I wanted to shy away from him, to move away but my heart hurt to much and the panic was all consuming. He rubbed his hand up and down my back, slowly and surely and I found myself inhaling and exhaling to match. After a bit the panic receded and I felt shaky but more mentally stable and not wanting to escape my very skin.

"That's enough, Dickhead. Next time when I say it is enough. I mean it." I felt strong enough to stand up, forcing his hand away from me. I tried to steel myself, to bring back the mask but it was hard. I wiped at my sticky cheeks and avoided looking at him as I shook slightly, I didn't want to see the emotions that would be in his eyes.

"It's okay to panic, Pisică." He was using that cajoling tone again and I wanted to snarl at him. He wasn't close enough to effect me so I was more than capable of feeling irritation. When I said enough I meant enough of all the touchy-feely emotional crap. He didn't seem to get the hint.

I turned away and started towards the door. "Don't lecture me. We have a councilman to listen to. I expect you to behave and don't fucking touch me." I couldn't help the ice that had slipped into my tone. The bond was surprisingly quiet, from the panic that shoved it away or the fact it had gorged itself bloated on the actions that had been taken, I wasn't sure. I was just happy it wasn't fucking nagging at me.

"Okay, my cat." His tone was back to is usual soft rumble and I moved to the door quickly, trying to hide the vulnerability I felt. It did not good to walk in front of a pack of wolves and show weakness. Especially when I had no strength to fight them off.