thirteen: two hearts

Jeong-Soon isn't sure what he'd been expecting, but it certainly hadn't been Gregory Gan's corpse. He knows he should feel lighter---relieved, even---but the overwhelming grip of grief crashes over him, heart pesante in his chest as his jellied knees buckle. He's not dead. He can't be dead. No no no no no---

"Jeong-Soon! What are you doing here?" Aimee's twin brother stares at him through gleaming copper eyes. He's not wearing his glasses today---probably has contacts in. A patch of red blossoms over his right cheek, but he seems unfazed, his mannerisms easy and light. Jeong-Soon's known Archer for a while through Aimee. Association by proxy. He wouldn't exactly call them friends, but Archer seems to disagree, judging by the way he greets Jeong-Soon with open arms.

"Hey, Archer." Jeong-Soon's gaze travels to the three boys flanking him, all looking decidedly dishevelled but much less bloody than the body on the ground. His head pounds, reminding him that it's not just any body, it's Gregory Gan. "Hey, Sam. Hey, Colt. Hey, Jude." The boys nod back at him in response.

The wire around his neck is gone, but he still can't breathe.

"What are you doing here, dude?" Archer repeats. Jeong-Soon doesn't reply, eyes firmly fixed on Gregory's motionless form. His face is pressed to the tarmac, hands stretched out across the ground. Jeong-Soon can't tell whether he's breathing or not.

Splayed across the dirty floor, no fire left in his limbs, Gregory looks like an abandoned doll, a flawed product left on the shelves of an old toy store to rot. Blood pools beneath his prone figure, shockingly scarlet against the midnight stubble of the ground. Jeong-Soon unconsciously bites his lower lip, praying for mercy, praying for hope, praying for a sign that Gregory's still alive.

Jeong-Soon notices Archer's sharp stare zeroing in on his focus, a scowl slowly spreading over his face. "Why do you keep staring at that dickhead?"

"I---" Jeong-Soon snaps back to reality, face flushing crimson. He shakes his head rapidly. "I---wasn't staring---what happened?" His head spins like a twisted merry-go-round, stomach churning.

Archer's steely eyes narrow. "Aimee mentioned he was harrassing you guys, so we taught him a lesson."

I don't think murder counts as teaching someone a lesson! "Did you---" Jeong-Soon can't find the words. "You didn't kill him, right?" Something inside him tugs at his chest, desperate to kneel down next to Gregory and check for a pulse, but he doesn't quite dare to do it. Not in front of Archer, who's watching him like a hawk.

"Why are you so concerned about him, man?" Archer asks. His tone is calm, but Jeong-Soon doesn't miss the irritated twitch of his eyebrows.

It's then that Jeong-Soon notices the phone gripped tightly in Archer's hand, and it's then that he recognises the body---the naked body---displayed on it. Although he's never seen Gregory nude, he's pretty sure the reddened, half-hidden face reflected in the mirror in the picture belongs to none other than Gregory Gan. "What---what is that?"

"Oh." Archer's mouth twists into a sneer. "We're going to get this asshole out of Bailey for good, and his ex-boyfriend was very helpful."

And just like that, everything clicks into place. Magnus's question. Gregory's bitter, "Yeah, I'm the dumbass with the Instagram nudes thing." The way Gregory had pulled away when Jeong-Soon had asked about it. It all makes sense now. Jeong-Soon wants to kick himself for being so slow.

Of course. Gregory Gan had gotten his nudes leaked. Somehow, Archer's managed to get hold of them. It's easy for Jeong-Soon to piece together what he plans to do with them.

"You can't spread those," Jeong-Soon pleads, the words slipping from his lips before his mind can even fully register them.

"Why? What's he to you?" Sam demands to know, leaning over Archer's shoulder curiously. Jeong-Soon's always disliked Sam the most out of all Archer's lackeys; he's too brash, too reckless, too quick to action. Almost a crude caricature of Gregory. It's so funny that Jeong-Soon can't even laugh---how the same qualities that had drawn him to Gregory Gan in the first place seem so undesirable in others.

A thought strikes Jeong-Soon---one so stupid it might actually work. He doesn't give his brain a chance to catch up to his mouth, too scared the words will come out as a stutter, too scared he won't sound convincing enough.

"He's my boyfriend," Jeong-Soon mumbles. A lie. A big lie. A terribly big lie that he's sure will blow up in his face once Archer and his gang pick their jaws off the floor.

Sam recovers first. "Dude, you're gay?" He laughs, as if convinced Jeong-Soon's going to chuckle along and insist that his statement had been a joke.

Jeong-Soon feels his palms grow clammy, and he swallows hard. "I'm not. But Gregory's my boyfriend."

Sam squints at him. "You can't be serious. You're like, the straightest guy ever." He smirks. "How's his ass? Bet it's tighter than a pussy---"

"Sam, shut up," Archer barks. Jeong-Soon sees the doubt written over his face and thinks, Well, that's it. I'm screwed. "You're telling me this...thing is your...boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Jeong-Soon manages. He doesn't dare say anything else, the fear of stuttering consuming him. Remember that Gregory's life literally rests on you being able to lie properly. Shit. He's dead, isn't he?

"What about Mia?" Archer questions. "Aimee mentioned Gregory insulting her too when she tried to stand up for you. Aren't you guys still dating?"

Shit shit shit shit shit--- Jeong-Soon's pretty sure he's sweating buckets by now. Another idea forms in his head---one even more stupid than his previous. He hangs his head, doing his best to look as sheepish as possible. It doesn't take much effort, considering how much embarrassment's currently rising in his chest. "Dude, can you---can you keep a secret?" I can't believe I'm going to do this. If Mia ever finds out... Jeong-Soon takes a quick peek at Gregory's limp body and promptly makes the very idiotic decision to gain himself a reputation as a cheater. "Okay, so I may or may not be...uh, dating both of them at the same time?"

Sam immediately collapses into raucous laughter. Colt and Jude stare at Jeong-Soon in stunned silence, mouths agape. Archer seems taken aback, but bounces back quickly. "So...you're cheating on Mia?"

Jeong-Soon manages a swift nod of his head. "Don't tell her. Please don't tell her. Gregory was...pissed off at me the other day because he found out I had a girlfriend, which was why he was being an asshole to everyone." A convenient lie that threatens to stick to his tongue like molasses. Jeong-Soon forces it out anyway.

"Hey, of course I won't tell her." Archer seems far more relaxed now, slapping Jeong-Soon on the back playfully like they've known each other for years. (They have, really, but only through Aimee.) "Bros before hoes, am I right?"

"Y-yeah," Jeong-Soon chokes out. I'm sorry, Mia---so sorry so sorry sorry sorry---

"You've got game, dude," Sam cackles, before cracking up again.

The phone dangles from Archer's hand---the end goal, the finish line, the grand prize. Jeong-Soon magically finds his voice again, retrieving it from where it's been lodged deep in his throat and dredging it up. "Could you delete those, dude? Please." He tries for a joke. "I wouldn't want anyone to see him naked except me."

Sam laughs harder. Archer doesn't seem convinced.

Jeong-Soon feels something heavy clogging his throat again. He can't help the way his eyes wander to Gregory's still form, and he's shocked to find tears pricking at his eyes. No, not now! It's too late. A drop of hot liquid slips free and rolls down his cheek. "I just...I don't want Mia to find out."

Archer frowns. "Why are you so concerned? You didn't take the pictures, right?"

This isn't working. "Please, man." Jeong-Soon hangs his head, desperately trying to hide the tears rapidly forming in his eyes. Crying won't help. Not now. Not when Gregory Gan's life is on the line. "I don't want him to transfer schools. I'll do you favours for the rest of your life. I just want him to stay with me."

Sam fake-gags, but Jeong-Soon's relieved to see sympathy flitting across Archer's gaze. "Why?" Archer asks, and that one word breaks the dam, liquid crystal flowing over Jeong-Soon's face as he stares at the body on the ground. Please don't die. I'm going to get you out of this mess. Just don't die. Please, Gregory, please.

Jeong-Soon's chest tightens, heat searing his cheeks. Although he's taller than Archer and his lackeys by at least three inches, he feels so small in front of them---almost like a child. He knows how ridiculous he must look right now, sobbing over a boy who hates him and the fake relationship he'd just lied about them having. He clenches his fists, furtively attempting to quell the ocean in his eyes. When that fails, he lifts his head, meeting Archer's cold stare with damp pupils and reddened scleras, lips quivering uncontrollably. "I'm in love with him."

The moment the words leave Jeong-Soon's mouth, he knows they're real---the only grain of truth he's spoken in his whole conversation with Archer.

Because he'd given Gregory Gan his heart, and he'd never taken it back.

"Okay," Archer says, his voice oddly soft.

Jeong-Soon looks at him quizzically, heart beating like a horse race.

Archer sighs. "I said okay. I'll delete them." Sam's eyes widen in shock. Colt and Jude look mildly distressed. Jeong-Soon feels his chest collapse in surprise and relief, his entire being caving in on itself.

"Dude, what about your sister---" Sam starts.

"She'll understand," Archer interrupts. He frowns. "Besides, this was never her idea."

"What? You told us your sister asked you to---" Sam blurts.

"I lied. All she did was complain about how much of a dick Gregory is and how she's going to strangle him if she sees him again. I was the one who decided to take matters into my own hands." Archer holds the phone up to Jeong-Soon's face, and Jeong-Soon's instantly greeted with a full-frontal flash of Gregory's dick. He flushes but doesn't look away, even as Archer presses the Delete button, even as picture after picture disappears from his phone.

"No backups?" Jeong-Soon enquires, not missing the crack in his own voice. He winces.

"No backups. You know me, dude." And Jeong-Soon does. There'd been a time when Aimee had rolled up to music class complaining about how her twin wouldn't stop ranting about his phone crashing and him losing all his data. She'd suggested backing it up, and Archer had completely ignored her advice.

"How do I know you won't spread them?" Jeong-Soon demands.

Archer's gaze is strangely heavy, almost warm. "You don't. You just trust me like normal friends do, live life with your boyfriend---and Mia---and hope that you never piss me off enough for me to hit up Gregory's ex again." His shoulders slump. "But you're a chill dude, so I don't think you'll have to worry about that anytime soon. You owe me one, though."

"Thank you." Jeong-Soon can barely feel his tongue anymore. In that moment alone, everything feels worth it---the lying, the damage his reputation's going to receive if any of Archer's gang opens their mouths, how his relationship with Mia's going to crumble like a Lego house if she finds out. "Can I---"

"Yeah." Archer salutes him, a movement so quick Jeong-Soon almost misses it. "Let's go, guys." The trio hesitate, before following, Sam still grumbling about how he'd only beat up Gregory because he'd thought it was for Aimee.

And it's just Jeong-Soon, now. Jeong-Soon and the dead body on the floor.

He wastes no time in diving for Gregory. The blood on the tarmac is still fresh, uncongealed---it hasn't been as long as he'd thought, after all. Gregory himself is limp and warm in Jeong-Soon's arms as he frantically presses two fingers to the side of the other boy's neck, searching, searching, searching.

A strong thud blossoms under Jeong-Soon's hand, matching his own pulse. It flutters through his veins, thumping staccato in a sea of mercy. There's no drop. There's no silence. There's nothing but life, flowing over Jeong-Soon's seeking digits until their two hearts beat as one.

٩( ᐛ )و

For at least five minutes, Jeong-Soon kneels in the alley, inspecting Gregory's wounds. The tears come once more when he sees how damaged Gregory's face is: nose swollen and bloody, cheeks, forehead and chin peppered with reddish bruises from the ground. He's got a black eye, and although his lips are shockingly intact, Jeong-Soon's pretty sure he's lost at least one tooth.

He doesn't bother lifting Gregory's shirt. The blood staining his clothes the same colour as his beat-up jacket is enough to tell him just how badly he'd been hit.

So Jeong-Soon sits there crying, feeling like the biggest loser in the world for not being able to save Gregory sooner. His own legs are too weak for him to stand right away, so he stays on the ground, clutching Gregory to him like he's his last lifeline---as if he's a mirage that'll disappear the moment he lets go. He's shocked at how light Gregory is, how small he looks when he's not mouthing off at the universe.

In the dimness of the alley, Gregory is no longer the fire-eyed devil he'd been two years ago. All that is left is a boy---a striking, bruised, boy, broken beyond belief---but still a boy. There is no sin lacing his lips, no flame in his tightly-shut eyes, no gold in his tanned cheeks.

It scares Jeong-Soon to see him so fragile.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers.

Finally, he manages to get up, mentally calculating his next movements. Taking Gregory to a hospital would be impossible---Jeong-Soon doesn't have nearly enough money to foot the bill. Heck, he can't even pay for a taxi to take them there. What if I loaded him onto the bus? Jeong-Soon thinks, and then he realises he's covered in Gregory's blood too. No, I'm going to look like a serial killer.

What if I carried him home?

It's a stupid thought, but Jeong-Soon's already done several stupid things in the span of less than an hour. I don't know his address, though. My house it is, I guess. As he lifts Gregory's abnormally light body in the most ungraceful bridal carry known to man, he briefly wonders when he'd become so impulsive.

Jeong-Soon's grateful for the nearly empty streets as he trudges back to his house, Gregory pressed to his chest. Every time he looks down at Gregory's swollen face, his mind drifts back to the blood smeared over the alley ground, which prompts the unwanted memory of his exchange with Archer to flood back into his brain.

"I'm in love with him." The words race through his head, blinding him with cold, hard truth. Jeong-Soon tries to block it out, walking faster despite his wobbly legs, but it's no use. What happened to you, Gregory? How did you end up like this? How did we end up like this?

His mind floats back to Mia, and it's then that Jeong-Soon starts running, shaky legs be damned.

٩( ᐛ )و

"We have a problem," Jeong-Soon says the moment his sister opens the door.

Si-Young's jaw drops at the sight of him. "What---what happened? Why are you covered in blood? Who---"

"Don't worry, it's not my blood," Jeong-Soon interjects.

Si-Young's gaze travels to the bloody boy in his arms. "I can see that." Her hand shoots out, grabbing hold of Gregory before Jeong-Soon can drop him out of pure exhaustion alone. "Do you need the bathroom?"

Jeong-Soon raises an eyebrow.

His sister sighs. "I'll have to move my Rabbit, won't I?"

In response, Jeong-Soon barrels into the house, nearly dropping Gregory on the way. "I'm putting him in the bathtub!"

"Just don't touch the box in the shower!"

"He's literally dying!"

"I know, but don't touch the box in the shower!"

Ignoring Si-Young, Jeong-Soon all but throws the boy in his arms into the bathtub, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. "Shit," he mutters, realising he has no idea what to do.

"So, are we hiding a body or what?" Si-Young pipes up from the entrance of the bathroom.

"No! This is my..." Jeong-Soon grimaces. "Um, a guy..."

"Did you make out with him or something? Was he such a bad kisser that you had to punch him in the face afterwards?" Si-Young teases.

"Shut up and help me," Jeong-Soon grumbles.

Si-Young sighs. "Okay. Strip him." When Jeong-Soon turns to her in appalled horror, she shakes her head. "Not for that. We've got to hose him off first. He's absolutely covered in blood. Where do you even find these people---"

"Can you do it?" Jeong-Soon begs.

Si-Young throws her hands up in surrender. "You're the guy here, he's your friend, and I refuse to look like I'm engaging in the disgusting act of kid-touching, especially since I don't even know this kid. You do it." She frowns. "Also, we should probably move him to the shower. All that blood's going to stain the bathtub."

Jeong-Soon ignores her, focusing on the boy in front of him. His fingers are shaky as they curl around Gregory's all-too-familiar jacket, pulling it off to reveal a plain black t-shirt. "Do I have to?"

"I'm fully convinced now that you didn't have sex with him. Just take the damn thing off."

Jeong-Soon forces himself to concentrate, because in this moment, nothing matters but Gregory. There is no Mia, there is no Si-Young, there is no him. There is just Gregory Gan, the boy currently bleeding out in his bathtub. When he finally peels Gregory's shirt upwards and wrestles it over his matted head, Jeong-Soon can't stop the gasp that escapes him.

Angry, purple-blue bruises dot Gregory's stomach and chest like overly-large freckles, indigo violets on golden sand. His ribs protrude like broken glass, so sharp Jeong-Soon almost worries he'll cut himself on them.

Si-Young sucks in a sharp breath through her teeth. "Should I get the ice packs?"

"All of them," Jeong-Soon mumbles. "He's going to need them."

Gregory doesn't wake up when Jeong-Soon hoses the blood off him. He doesn't wake up when Jeong-Soon and Si-Young start pressing ice packs to his body and face. He doesn't even wake up when Si-Young starts attacking him with bandages and the various ointments she'd managed to scrounge up from the bathroom cabinet. He's so still that Jeong-Soon actually starts to worry, frequently pressing two digits to the side of his neck until the hypnotic thump, thump, thump of Gregory's pulse burns the pads of his fingers.

He's still unconscious when Jeong-Soon digs up a pair of shorts and an old blue t-shirt for him. And it's so intimate---too intimate---when Jeong-Soon sets Gregory on his bed and dresses him in his old clothes. The sight of Gregory on his bed, practically swamped by Jeong-Soon's t-shirt, makes Jeong-Soon's heart beat a little faster, a funny ache twitching in his chest.

The ice packs have helped, and the swelling's gone down, but Gregory's still a mess---small and bruised and so, so delicate, a far cry from his usual self. The silence is cathartic, and Jeong-Soon hates it. He hates that even though he'd scrubbed himself clean and showered twice, he can still feel the chill of Gregory's blood on his skin. He hates that Gregory isn't waking up.

"You're an idiot," Jeong-Soon says out loud. He's not sure who he's saying it to---Gregory, himself, both of them. Hesitantly, he swiftly slips his palm into Gregory's, both their hands cold from all the ice. He draws away just as quickly. Too many boundaries already broken. Too many lines already crossed. Too many oceans between them.

And of course, it's then that Gregory decides to wake up, one eyelid fluttering open to reveal a jet-black iris, no light in it. The other eyelid, swollen to the heavens, twitches before opening slightly, the tiniest slit of his pupil showing through the crack. "Shit, that hurts like a motherfucker," he complains. "Why do I taste blood---" Realisation floods his face. "Oh, yeah." Then Gregory jerks back, his slightly-confused stare landing on Jeong-Soon. "Why are you here?"

"Uh, this is my house," Jeong-Soon replies, then mentally kicks himself.

"Your house," Gregory echoes slowly.

"Yeah."

"On your bed."

"Yeah."

Gregory looks down at himself. "And judging by the size of these, I assume I'm dressed in your clothes."

"Pretty much, yeah."

"What the fuck?"

Okay, not exactly the reaction I'd been hoping for. Probably should have expected it, though, Jeong-Soon thinks. "You got beat up."

"And let me guess, like a knight in shining armour, you rescued me? And patched me back up, good as new?" The sarcasm in Gregory's tone is evident, and Jeong-Soon's heart sinks.

Harnessing a little of the pettiness he'd felt when Gregory had been in his seat, he shoots back, "Well, you could at least try to act grateful about it. A thank you would be nice."

Gregory scowls. "Why do you care?"

"Why do I care?" Jeong-Soon feels his cheeks flush. Whether it's with embarrassment or anger, he doesn't know. "I literally just saved your life!"

"I could have handled it myself," Gregory snaps back, and it's then that Jeong-Soon sees it---the spot of vermillion shooting over Gregory's face. He's embarrassed. He's embarrassed because I saw him like...this.

Still, Gregory's dismissal ruffles him the wrong way, and he fires, "Really? You seemed to be handling it really well when I picked your bleeding, unconscious ass up after managing to single-handedly save your future in Bailey."

"Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up---"

"No, you shut up." Something tips in Jeong-Soon, a pot boiling over on a red-hot stove. The boy Gregory had been just minutes ago is gone, and nothing but the devil remains. "What is wrong with you? You've hated me from Day One, even though I tried to be nice to you! We got along so well at the music festival! What happened? What did I do, Gregory? What did I do?" His voice comes out loud, too loud, so loud that Si-Young appears at the entrance of his bedroom with an ice pack in her hand and concern in her eyes.

"You don't get it, do you?" There's bitterness crushed into Gregory's words.

"No! I don't!" Jeong-Soon's shouting now, and he hates it, hates it hates it hates it, because it's so angry and negative and disgusting.

"You fucking blocked me!" Gregory yells. "I texted you, pouring my stupid fucking heart out, and the next thing you know, my message gets blueticked, left on read, and your stupid fucking profile picture disappears!"

"How am I suppose to block you if you never texted me in the first place?" Jeong-Soon screams back. He's confused---so freaking confused. He'd checked his phone every single day after Gregory had left. He'd been sure there hadn't even been one message from him.

There's a clatter from his bedroom entrance. Jeong-Soon whips around just in time to see ice all over the floor. Si-Young's gone white, her eyes bugging out of her head.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers.

YES!!! THIS ISN'T PHOTOSHOP! The Soulmate Paradox has been featured on Wattpad for the SECOND TIME!!! In their official 2021 Pride reading list!!! (Very appropriate for my gaybies 😌💅) i also made it onto the homepage, which is where i assume a lot of you guys came from lol. hiii

*waves at new readers*

I couldn't have done it without you guys. Like, really. If it wasn't for all your love and support, I would have deleted this book straight after it got kicked out of the ONC, which would obviously have led to me not being able to achieve all these milestones. So thank you so so much for always loving and supporting me and my babies, and for bringing me up whenever I'm down. This one's for you guys. I love y'alls so much ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 (AND HAPPY PRIDE MY PRECIOUS SMOL BEANS)

that aside~

pesante — heavy

me: hey, i think i actually liked how this chapter turned out!

the chapter: 💩🤢

sooo, this was a longer chapter than usual. sorry it was so lengthy, but i had to get in the three scene cuts without rushing it so as a result we ended up with over 4k words 🙃 i'm also very sorry it was so crappy, i quite liked it even though i know it's bad LOL. i wanted to end it with a cliffy so the readers would stick around :D

sooo...thoughts? what did y'alls think of this chapter? did you like it as much as i did or did you think it was as bad as it really is? (i wrote this at like 1am and edited it straight after waking up, smh)

lots of love from me AND my twice-wattpad-featured book ;) (lmk if i'm coming off as obnoxious or smth, i swear that's not the impression i'm trying to give off, i'm just really really happy ❤💙)

xoxo, Alex