Side Part 1 - Nate

In a previous life...

No one ever truly looked at me, despite being a prince, despite trying my best. Their gazes always slipped past me, to focus on someone else. I felt sometimes that i was shouting, screaming for someone to see me, see who i was... but it always came to nothing in the end.

I noticed it early on.

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"Nate!" My older brother George called out as he crashed into my room without notice. "People are in trouble! We have to go help them!"

I sighed loudly. George always said the exact same thing. Last time was because his favorite shop was out of sweets. "What is it this time?"

"I saw some people didn't have homes on the streets, I'm going to help them."

"You want to start a charity?" I stood, up, already thinking through the steps that would need to be accomplished.

George stopped in his tracks, his enthusiasm waning. "Eh, a charity? Can't we just... get them off the streets?"

A headache started forming behind my eyes. I rubbed my temples, closing my eyes. "I'll take care of the paperwork. We'll get a charity started and help the people you are worried about."

"Perfect!" Excited once more, George clapped me on the back before charging back out, the open swinging door the only trace of his outburst. I sighed again.

I would be busy for a while.

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"George! We are so proud of the charitable work you've been doing lately!" Father spoke up at dinner, his eyes warm as he studied my brother.

Wait, what? I looked up from my meal, shocked. Neither of my parents paid any attention to me, however, both focused on my older brother.

"Thanks!" George happily accepted the compliment, never glancing in my direction. An angry flame built up in my chest.

Why wasn't he telling them that I did most of the work? Why doesn't anyone care that I was the one who made this project a success?

"But..." I tried to speak up, feeling embarrassed but determined to be seen.

"You need to be more like your brother, Nate." My Mother smiled calmly at me, not noticing the pain she was causing. "You could learn a lot from him."

My determination shriveled to nothing in my chest, and i stared back down at my plate, blinking back tears.

I didn't finish dinner that night.

"Why didn't you tell them?" I asked him later, upset. His only response was to stare innocently back at me.

"We both worked hard. I'm sure they realize that."

But they didn't.

They never did.

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"Let go of her!" George yelled out, charging into the middle of a group of men harassing a young woman. They outnumbered him twelve to one, and he had below average fighting ability, he was quickly restrained, a punch landing on his stomach by a smirking gang member.

Seeing all this as I arrived, I ordered the royal guards I had brought with me to split the group in half, quickly joining the side that held my brother captive.

"DO YOUR WORST YOU COWARDS!" George screamed fearlessly at them even as he was helpless to break free.

I saw the knife pointing in his direction, and jumped forward to protect him without thinking, wincing as the blade cut through my skin.

At least I had saved him, despite his rashness. I felt my heart lift, ignoring the painful bleeding wound on my arm. They would have to see me now.

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"WHY DIDN'T YOU GO WITH YOUR BROTHER?" My father was angry, glancing between a bruised and battered George and me. "He wouldn't have been hurt nearly as badly if you had been there from the start!"

I gritted my teeth, still holding pressure to the bandage across my slashed arm. "I don't know what George told you, but we needed reinforcements..."

"He said you didn't care when he told you about the young woman in trouble." My father's eyes were cold, freezing my heart.

"I just said we needed more people to do it safely... I was always planning to help but..."

He raised a hand, dismissing my words. "Why can't you be more like your brother?"

Looking at George's pitiful smile, and my father's uncomfortable stare, I slowly closed my mouth, refusing to speak further.

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Incident after incident, it was always me bailing him out of trouble, yet somehow he took all the credit for the achievements, and I was responsible for all the failures. A darkness grew in my heart, a deep and angry bitterness that I couldn't suppress.

Why was I helping him?

The thought came more and more frequently.

And then came the day.The terrible day i regretted more than any other.

"People are in trouble! There are bandits! We have to go help them!"

I smiled coldly at my brother's frantic words, but never looked up.

"Then go help them."

"..." George stared at me in shock. I understood. In the past I had always leapt to my feet, eager to help any way I could.

"You should probably get more information, such as locations and numbers. Make sure to bring reinforcements, too." I spoke carelessly as I continued to read the book in front of me, ignoring him.

"Aren't you going to take care of things?"

"No." I smiled, looking at his disappointed expression without flinching.

"Don't you care about our people?"

"I'm just taking our parents advice to heart." I laughed, but it was a bitter, unpleasant sound. "I'm going to be more like you. I'm going to sit here, and let someone else do all the work."

I felt a brief moment of elation as he left empty handed. This time, I wouldn't be used. This time, our parents would see that it was always my hard work that George had depended on. They would look at me, truly look at me, for the first time.

I smiled, turning my attention back to my book, not sparing another thought as George slammed the door behind him.

But that was the last time I saw my brother alive.

At first, it seemed like a bad joke. How could he die the one time I didn't help him? Why did he just rush in like always without reinforcements, had he thought I would come despite what I said?

All my anger, my frustration, my jealousy... it was left without a target.

It was just me left.

But still... no one truly looked at me.

The nobles, the castle servants... my parents. They continued to mourn, and now instead of fighting to be compared to an imperfect older brother, I was constantly haunted by the perfection of their memories.

I was trapped.

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I traveled a lot, hoping to escape their sad gazes. Escape my own guilt. In Reterand, I met some interesting people. Jim was an official in the Royal Treasury, who spent some time explaining economic theory to me. The Queen in particular was kind, even if she spent most of her time telling me how wonderful her "daughter" was and how much we would get along.

I found this confusing. As far as I knew, The Royal family only had one child, a son.

I didn't stay long in that kingdom. The crown prince Ronan was particularly annoying. He spent the majority of his time boasting about his many talents, and the small remainder complaining about his fiancé, who he called "a boring girl."

I felt sorry for her, whoever she was. It wouldn't be easy to marry a man like that.

I returned to Tilendria, and never thought much of it again. A few years later, however, a report crossed my desk.

"Ronan broke his engagement?" I raised an eyebrow as I read the report, a slight pain in my chest as it described the way the poor girl had been callously tossed aside at a public party.

"And is now engaged to her close friend, the daughter of a count." A servant confirmed.

"Poor girl." The words left my mouth in a whisper. I searched my memory, trying to think if I had ever met her, but came up blank. I hoped she was able to find a better life. Ronan would not have made a good husband. I set the report down, shaking my head as I caught sight of the name at the top of the page. "Poor Lenora."

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It wasn't until almost two years later that I visited Reterand again. Any time spent in the presence of Prince Ronan and his wife Edith was insufferable. Ronan was no better than the first time I met him, arrogant and loud. Edith was even worse, with no sense of propriety. She would attempt to order me around as a servant, claiming that Tilendria was a "small, insignificant country" and I should be glad for the opportunity to serve her.

What a fool. I ignored her, curious instead as to why I could no longer meet the Queen. She had been kind and helpful last time I had visited, if a little obsessed with her daughter. But when I asked around, everyone had similar uncomfortable expressions.

"She's in mourning, Your Highness." One of the more competent butlers, a man named Hallers, informed me finally. I was curious, and couldn't help asking.

"Who is she mourning?"

"..." Despite the man's professional mask, I caught sight of a brief flash of grief behind his eyes. Hallers hid it well, but he seemed to be deeply affected by the loss of whoever had died.

Seeing his reluctance to speak, I simply patted him on the shoulder, allowing him to leave. Such a cold, professional man, what kind of person could have gotten close to him to leave him so heartbroken?

Still thinking of this, I headed out of the castle, wanting to escape spending time away from the prince and his group. I decided to go igcognito, using a scarf and cloak to hide my features and forgoing my guards. It was a little foolish, but I felt that as long as I wasn't recognized, I'd be fine.

I was definitely mistaken.

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"Give us your money!" A pair of burly men cornered me in an alley. He held out a knife towards my face, giving me a gap toothed grin.

"I can honestly say I don't have much on me." Other than a couple of crowns, which I readily held out, I hadn't brought anything with me. My free hand gripped the pommel of my sword under my cape. I wasn't a brilliant fighter, but I should be able to hold my own against these two.

But still I hesitated. If I was found to be involved in a bloody incident, this could have some diplomatic ramifications. While I was thinking this over, the man stepped closer, his eyes vicious. "Then I'll just have to cut you open and see what else is worth selling."

My hand tightened on my sword as he drew near, but before I could draw it...

THUD.

A throwing knife grazed the man's face, hitting the wall behind him. The sound of happy laughter filled the air.

"What the...?" Surprised, all three of us looked up at the roof of the nearby building, the source of the attack. To my utter shock, a beautiful young woman sat on the edge, spinning a blade on her palm. She was dressed in black, loosely fitting clothes, her light hair tied up behind her head. The woman was smiling, but it was not a kind smile. And her eyes...

Intelligent, sad... they were deeper than any other I had ever seen. I was lost in them.

"Hate to spoil your fun, but you know that Rig doesn't like you two doing business in his terf." She laughed again, a pleasant sound. I felt my cheeks flush with warmth. I had seen beautiful women before, there were plenty in the royal court, but none with the simple confidence and steadiness she displayed with the smallest of actions. It was breathtaking to watch.

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...?" One of the robbers started to shout, only to be stopped by his friend, who was still clutching his bleeding face.

"Shut up, fool! That's Rig's daughter."

"The brat he picked off the streets?" The other man's eyes widened.

"He threatened to absolutely destroy anyone who hurts her."

THUD.

Another knife flew past, a long slash appearing on the previously uninjured robber's chest. He screamed in pain, holding the wound. I stared up at the woman, but all she revealed was a cold grin.

"That's assuming you are talented enough to hurt me."

"Don't be so cocky!" One robber raised his fist. "I've heard that's there's a noble with a grudge out on Rig. If he get's taken out, don't think you'll last long!"

She picked up a third knife, shrugging. "I've given you so many chances, and you're still not leaving? I guess you're ready to die then."

"..." Without another word, the two men turned and ran away. She watched them leave, her face expressionless, her eyes filled with sadness.

"Hey mister, you should be more careful in the streets." At her words I clutched the scarf that hid my face closer, and made sure my hood was still up. "You stick out while you're hiding you're face like that."

I gave a formal bow. "Thank you for saving me. I wasn't paying proper attention."

"Of course." Grinning, she jumped to the ground in front of me, and gave a formal curtsey. It was flawless, and I stared at her in shock. "Nobility running around without guards though... you could really get into trouble."

"I could say the same to you." I returned her words, unsure of what secrets this girl was hiding. She had been formally trained in etiquette, though, it was easily visible in every movement she made, every gesture.

"I'm not nobility... not anymore." She had a bitter smile, but even more so she seemed... lonely. I found myself wanting to reach out, to comfort her, but my hand froze mid-gesture, unsure if she would be insulted.

"What's your name anyways?" She studied me curiously, her eyes looking straight at me. "If you don't mind me asking?"

She was my savior, how could I refuse? I started to pull down the scarf covering my face.

"I'm..."

"LENORA!" A voice cried out, and a distraught young man looked around the corner into the alley, his face pale. "IT'S RIG... he's..." He trailed, off, shaking his head.

I heard her breath rush in. "Let's go."

She ran after him, pausing in the alleyway entrance to look back at me once. "Be careful in the future. I may not be there to save you next time."

I grinned. "How about next time, I save you?"

"Deal." She laughed, although anxiety now had crept into her voice. She was obviously worried about this man Rig. I hoped he was okay. Without another word, she turned around and left, and I was alone once again.

I stared at the spot where she had been for a long time, my heartbeat in my ears, before turning back and returning to the palace.

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On my arrival I received a message, calling me back to Tilendria. I hesitated, my mind turning to the young woman I had met today, unable to completely forget her. Was she okay? Did she need help?

She was the first person to reach out and help me, not expecting me to do anything in return. So many people were willing to use me, wanting me to help them... even my own brother... but this woman... Lenora, they had called her....

I wanted to see her again.

I returned home, heeding the urgency in my summons, but I didn't forget. I sent some of my servants back to Reterand and asked them to search for the young woman, and to offer help immediately if she was found. They had discovered that Rig, who had apparently run an information and spying ring, had been murdered, and the remainder of his gang had been imprisoned or killed.

My heart in my throat, I had them examine the bodies, and look at those captured, but none of them matched the description of Lenora.

Had she escaped?

Weeks, months went by without a word. I visited Reterand again, ignoring everyone else, just wandering around the Capital city, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but my efforts were fruitless.

Until a terrible day came, and they found her.

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My men's faces were solemn as they reported to me, the sense of failure hanging heavy around them. i fell to my knees, my breath freezing in my lungs. It was too late.

She was dead.

I had them take me to her, a stabbing pain in my chest. I took in her overly thin form, her gaunt face which was still, so different from the lively woman who I had met on the streets that day.

I reached out, touching her cold, stiff hand, blinking back tears.

"What happened?" My voice was cold, I saw some of the servants shiver before one stepped forward to answer.

"We examined her... it appears to be starvation that took her life. Only..." He hesitated again, but at my glare swallowed and continued on. "Someone must have had a grudge against her. Her body was taken away to the palace, for a short while, and then tossed out into the wilderness beyond the city for the animals to dispose of. In fact, the only reason we were able to find her was due to those strange movements."

I felt my heart break, my hand tightening on hers. Starvation. What a terrible death.

"I promised to save you." My words were whispered, but each one hurt like a blow.

"Your Highness..."

"We'll bury her in Tilendria. In the Royal plot."

Silence filled the room for a few tense moments.

"A-are you sure? That's only for..." He trailed off, unsure, but I smiled, knowing what he was trying to say.

It was a place made for the burial of royalty. Typically the only ones who could be honored there would be my parents, myself... and my wife.

"She saved my life." My words were simple, but the servant flinched away from me, bowing.

"It shall be done, Your Highness." He left to make arrangements, and I stared at the young woman once more.

We had only met once, but she had left such a deep impression on me. What would it have been like if we had lived side by side?

I closed my eyes, grieving. "If there is another life, Lenora. Let me help you in that one. If I'm fortunate enough to meet you again... let me fall in love with you. Let's get married, and live a happy life. I won't lose you next time, alright?"

I opened my eyes but the scene before me hadn't changed, I stood up, staring at her face for the last time.

"Goodbye."

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In another life...

"Nate!" A small hand waved in front of my face and I caught it in my own, laughing. Looking up, Lenora was smiling at me, all traces of the troubles she had recently been through long since faded away.

"Yes?" I continued holding her hand, watching with interest as her normally confident expression faltered, her cheeks flushing a bright red. She shook her head slowly, as if trying to clear it.

"Do you believe me?" Her voice was quieter than I was used to, a tone of uncertainty in it that tore at my heart. I reached out, pulling her in with a tight hug.

"Of course." It was a fantastical tale. She had lived and died, being reborn five years earlier and given a second chance to change her fate. If it were anyone else I would laugh, call them crazy.

But this was Lenora.

The strange, beautiful girl who saw things too clearly. Who sacrificed herself at a moment's notice to prevent anyone from starving within her duchy. Who had stared at her fiancé and best friend betraying her with tired eyes, as if it were only to be expected. If anything, her actions, her pain, made a horrifying amount of sense.

"Do you regret how this life turned out?" I kept hugging her, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

I loved her.

Even at our ridiculous first introduction when she grabbed my arm, frightening me by demanding my clothes, she had unknowingly become an irreplaceable presence in my heart. Each moment I spent with her from then on, from arguing with her day after day in lessons with Jim, to helping her gather resources to build a fortune, I fell further and further, unable to escape how I felt and without desire to. Whether we were fighting, or agreeing, or working together she had always truly seen me.

I still thought this might be a dream. That her telling me she loved me too, agreeing to marry me might be a fantasy my desperate mind cooked up. But here she was, by my side, smiling.

I hoped she was happy.

"No. I like this ending much better." She grinned, leaning up and kissing my cheek. I felt myself turn red, looking up at the ceiling with a sigh.

"Still, it seems really unfair." I frowned at her. "You knew everyone else in your previous life. Even Rig and Marile were close to you. But you didn't know me?"

Lenora shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips as I pouted. "I'm pretty sure I would have remembered you."

"Well, if I had known you in the previous life, I would like to think I would have tried to help you." The thought made me curious. A life that only Lenora could remember. A life where we never met.

What kind of person would I be, if I hadn't met her when I did? She had changed my life so much already...

"Well, I guess you'll have to work even harder in this life, since you didn't get a chance to know me last time." She teased me, but her eyes widened with shock as I let go of her, kneeling on the floor in front of her with a solemn expression.

"I promise to try my hardest as your future husband to make you happy in this lifetime, so you won't regret it." I reached out, taking her hand and kissing the back of it, enjoying the sight of her being flustered. I was usually the one who got embarrassed first.

"THIS IS SO CUTE!"

A shout caught both of our attention. To my shock there was a whole group of people hanging behind the cracked door of the room. Hallers and Rig, with serious expressions, had their hands clapped over Lady Erica's mouth, who had obviously been the one shouting. Marile and the Queen stood nearby, pretending that they hadn't been spying.

As they let go of her, Lady Erica rushed forward, hugging us both, before grabbing the Queen and Marile to immediately discuss wedding plans. I watched them with a smile, sitting back down next to Lenora, ignoring Rig and Hallers' cold stares at the closeness between us. I broke out in a cold sweat at the intensity of their gazes, but held on to Lenora's hand, refusing to move.

She chuckled at their expressions, waving them to sit down. "Stop trying to scare him."

"He's a very lucky man, Miss." Hallers spoke quietly. I fought the urge to hide behind my fiancé at his tone. "We'll have to have a... talk... with His Royal Highness before the wedding of course."

Rig cracked his knuckles, grinning. "Yes. A talk. Just so he understands how our girl needs to be treated."

"I look forward to it." I lied, hiding my terror.

Lenora burst out laughing, and unknowingly the whole room smiled at her. I squeezed her hand.

"Thank you."

For looking at me when no one else did. For loving me. For using a second chance at life to spend it with me.

She smiled in response. "Let's make a new future."

I nodded, agreeing. "Okay."

And we would build a new future. Side by side.

Together.