Chapter 103
Ex-Husband’s Regret
His side of the story103.
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Calvin
I wait. I wait patiently for her to come back. I didnât know where she went, but I can take a pretty
damn good guess. She was mad; I understand that more than anything. If anyone is pissed off and
hurt at what Emma has been doing, then itâs me. She has caused me and Gunner more hurt than
Iâm ever willing to admit.
I hear the door unlock, but I donât move. Iâm not even sure what the hell I am doing here. The boys
are at my house with the nanny. For some reason, I feel like I should be here.
Ava stops dead in her tracks. âCal, I didnât expect you to still be here.â
Her eyes were red and puffy. She has been crying; that much is clear. Words honestly fail me. I
have no fucking idea what the hell to tell her.
âI thought I would wait for you,â I say as she takes a seat. âWhere have you been?â
I knew where she went after she realized that Emma was Gunnerâs mom. That was hours ago. I
donât know where she went after. Iâm sure confronting Emma didnât take almost three hours.
âI needed to think, so I just drove around,â she whispers. âGosh! This is so hard for me. Not only
because I love Gunner like my own and it kills me to watch him hurt, but
also because I see
myself in him.â
I donât know much about Ava. I was about two years ahead of her in school. We werenât friends
back then, and I didnât pa ention to any girl that wasnât Emma.
Even now, I donât know much about her. I kept myself closed off. I felt it would be unfair to dig
deep into her life when I barely told her anything deep about mine. All I know is that Rowan hurt
her pretty badly. Just like Emma destroyed.
âWhy?â I ask curiously.
Because I suffered the same fate as him when I was younger. I was unwanted. For me, it was
nuch harder because I was unwanted by both my family and Rowanâs family. I didnât understand
why they didnât like me. I tried so hard to get them to love me, but they never did. In fact, it got
Jorse as I got older.â
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I didnât know that about het. Unlike other boys who tried getting close to her so they could get
close to Emma, I didnât I thought their tactic was downright cruel Using one sister to get another
was utterly disgusting
âIâm soony, Ava.â
There was nothing else I could say to comfort her. I donât even know how to comfort Gunner when
was
he asks about Emma, so how can I comfort Ava?
âItâs okay It was a long time ago, and Iâm slowly starting to heal,â she pauses. âIn any case, this
isnât about me. I want to know the truth. How did Emma end up being Gunnerâs mom?â
I sigh. I was dreading this question. Not because I donât want to tell her what happened, but
because I donât want to remember the painful memories,
âWell, you know about my love for her from high school,â I start and she nods.
âYes, definitely. Everyone knew it, just like everyone knew I wanted Rowan.â
This was so messed up. We both somehow ended up with the people we wanted, but in the end, it
turned out to be a nightmare. Both of us got hurt really, fucking badly. Maybe we should have
stayed away from them. It seems like Rowan and Emma were meant to be. Itâs like Ava and I got
punished for getting in the way of that.
âWeâll I tried everything to get her to notice me, but she never did. It wasnât even possible when
the person I had to compete against was Rowan. Like you said when we met again, I was nerdy,
Cal. There was nothing sexy about me,â I began, but Ava interrupted me by chuckling.
âHave you seen yourself in glasses? Youâre like a womanâs nerdy fantasy. You probably star in
ladies dreams as either a hot professor or a librarian.â
I laugh at that despite mys
âMaybe now, but not back then. Emma was probably disgusted with me. I mean, come on, even I
have to admit I looked terrible back then. I wouldnât have wanted to date myselfâ I continued.
âWe finished high school, and in the summer before college, I decided to work on myself. It took a
lot of effort, but I got to the point where I was actually proud of how I looked. I even started getting
appreciative glances from girls.â
It had been the highlight of my life at that age. It felt good to be attractive. It felt fucking great.
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âI joined college and continued working further on myself I became unrecognizable I drowned in
college life. The girls, parties, and booze. Life was great. I had girls all over me. I had my pick from a
large pool. Soon, I started to forget about Emma. There was no use crying over a girl that didnât
want me when I could have someone elseâ
Ava nods her head in understanding. I know she didnât enjoy college life. Not after she fell
pregnant at eighteen. She then became a mother and wife. She didnât have time to be a normal
college student with no worries or responsibilities. At least I got to have that experience before
Emma appeared back in my life.
âEverything was going great until my grandfather had a stroke and became paralyzed. My
grandfather raised me after both my parents died in an accident. He was all that I had given; I
didnât know any other family member alive. I changed schools so that I could be closer to him. It
was easier to take care of him that wayâ
Avaâs eyes widens as she swings her finger back and forth. âYou transferred to the university
Emma and Rowan wereâ
âYeah.â I simply answer. âI saw them around campus, but unlike before, I kept my distance. I
didnât want trouble, and besides, I had a lot going on. I didnât have any time for meaningful
relationships except for hookups, and that was totally fine with me. I had locked my heart after
Emmaâs constant rejection. I wasnât willing to let anyone inâ
I still loved her, and it killed me seeing her and Rowan almost every day, but I accepted it. She
simply didnât want me. There was nothing I could do about that.
âMy grandfather passed away, and it was the most challenging time of my fucking life. I took a
few weeks off school only to come back to the news that the campusâ IT couple had broken up. I
honestly couldnât belie Especially when I learned that Rowan had cheated on Emma. It was
honestly unbelievable.â
I never expected that. Everyone was sure of their love. Sure that they would stay together and get
married. No one ever thought that Rowan would sleep with someone else.
âAfter that, Emma came back as a totally different person. It was like she was dead on the inside.
The few times you saw her outside her dorm, she looked like a fucking zombie. I wanted to
comfort her, but I knew she wouldnât let me near her. It was a coincidence that my project partner
turned out to be her best friend and roommate.â
I didnât want to be involved with anyone in Emmaâs life. When Molly was assigned as my partner, I
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even if she wanted to
âI tried to stay out of her way. I didnât want to be a nuisance like I had been back in high school ! realized
you couldnât force love and Emma definitely didnât love meâ
It had been a sad realization, but a muchâneeded one.
âYouâre right,â Ava says sadly. âIf only Iâd realized that earlier, like you did. It wouldâve probably saved me
from a lot of heartache.â
Grabbing her hand, I squeeze it. âWell, it didnât work out for me⦠One day, out of the blues, Emma
showed up at my dorm room and kissed me. It was unexpected, but it was the best kiss Iâve ever
received. I thought it was a dream when she asked me to make love to her, but it wasnât. she actually
wanted meâ
I still remember that day like it was yesterday. She had been a virgin, and even though Iâd slept with
countless girls, she had been by far the best. Probably because I had feelings for her.
âI went to sleep thinking that finally it happened. That, finally she had noticed and wanted to build
something with me. Only I had been wrong. We woke up the next morning, and she was disgusted with
herself. I tried talking to her. I tried telling her that I still loved her, but she said. sheâd been using me to
get back at Rowan for sleeping with youâ
That was the first time I found out that the girl Rowan slept with and knocked up was Ava.
âYou canât imagine the pain that hit me. I felt crushed. I loved her with my body, only to find out that she
didnât feel a thing. That she was only using me. The betrayal I felt nearly destroyed me. We kept our
distance ag hat is until she told me she was pregnant.â
Iâd been scared, to say the least. I didnât know how to be a father. For heavenâs sake, Iâd never even
been near any babies. It was overwhelming, but I knew I loved the baby already.
âShe wanted to get an abortion, I couldnât let that happen, so I threatened her.â I take a deep breath,
feeling my throat close tightly against the bubbling emotions. âI took her to my grandfatherâs house. Iâd
hoped things would get better. That she would learn to love the baby and
me, but I was wrong.â
âShe was hell to live with. I wonât lie to you; during that time we still had sex when the mood struck her,
but it didnât make up for the ugly way she behaved towards me. She would curse me,
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and the baby
I look at the floor. I tried to understand that she was going through a lot. That she was pregnant.
heartbroker, and still in love with another man. Thatâs why I let her let out her frustrations on me
âIt was hard I wanted to walk away so many times, but then I would remember my child. Sometimes I
would remember the times she was sweet, or when she cried and begged me not to leave her. I was also
hurting while trying help her with her pain.
Ava takes my hand and squeezes it. Lending me her strength as I felt mine diminish.
âWhen Gunner was born, she refused to see him. She went back to being a stoneâcold bitch. She told
me she never wanted to see me or him again. I took my baby and left the hospital. I didnât hear from her
until probably a year later.
âWhat did she want?â Ava asks.
I didnât want to tell her this part because Iâm ashamed of it. Ashamed of how I let Emma use me for
years.
âSex.â I breathe. âShe wanted sex. She said she tried sleeping with other men, but she couldnât bring
herself to. I was overwhelmed with being a single father so I gave in. I wanted the release.
The next morning, when I woke up, she was gone. She didnât even want to see her son, nor did she
say goodbye.â
I continue. âIt went on like that for years. She would drop by just to have sex with me. I let it go so long
because Iâd hoped she would change. That she would learn to love me and our son, but she
was only interested in what my body could give her.â
I feel sick to my stomac]
tell Ava everything. I feel disgusted with myself for allowing her to
use me for so long. Most of the time, I hated both her and me. Her, for hurting me and myself for
being weak.
âThe day Gunner saw her, he was about seven years old, and she was sneaking out in the morning. He
had been awake. Gunner asked me if she was his mom. I couldnât lie to him, so I told him the
truth. She got angry because I told Gunner the truth and left without even greeting him.â
Iâd felt so angry and bitter toward her. So resentful because I had to pick up the pieces of my sonâs
broken heart.
âI called her and told her to give her relationship with Gunner a chance. When she refused, I cut
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Gunner.â
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âI wanted a fresh change for me and Gunner, so we moved here, where I was born and raised. I
wanted a fresh start with him. I just didnât know that you would be my neighbor or that Emma too
had moved back home.â
âIâm sorry for everything youâve gone through, but Iâm glad you saw your worth. Youâre a great guy,
Cal, and you deserve someone whoâll love you wholeheartedly,â she says with a smile.
I smile back at her.
âThanks Ava, you too deserve the world after what you went through with Rowan.â
I pull her int
shoulders.
arms and hug her. I feel so lighthearted. Like a burden had been lifted from my
I didnât want to tell Ava this, but I was glad when I realized that she would be my neighbor. I
wanted her to figure it out. I wanted her to tell everyone the truth because I was so sick of Emma
keeping him a secret. I was glad that now everyone knew what kind of woman she truly is.