Chapter 110

His confession

+15 BONUS

I’ve been obsessing for the last few days over the note. I just wanted to nail whoever this person is so

that I could move on peacefully with my life.

I hated that I was now jumpy and scared all the damn time. Noah has even noticed that I haven’t been

myself. Every time he asks, I just tell him that I am okay when I am clearly not.

My life was so simple back when I was married to Rowan as compared to now. The only thing I worried

about was whether or not he would come for dinner or if he would ever love me. I know I used to be in

constant pain, but I’d pick that over dying any day.

I haven’t had a moment of peace since I divorced Rowan. An attempt on my life was made three times.

My car was blown up, my house burned down, and I was kidnapped twice. After I agreed to Reaper

being

in my life, I thought that things would settle down, but no… Now someone was after me. Again.

“Mom, can I go over at Gunner’s?” Noah asks, scaring the crap out of me.

I try to calm my heart down. See what I mean when I say I’m jumpy?

He looks at me funny, but I ignore it and force my lips into a semblance of a smile.

“Sure, use the back door, though, okay?”

He nods his head, and I stand up. I wanted to make sure that he crossed over to Calvin’s side safely and

that he got inside his house.

“Today we are going to play games. Last time I won, this time Gunner hopes that he wins,” he tells me as

we walk.

“That’s good”

I haven’t seen Calvin since that day in my kitchen. He has been avoiding me as much as he can. I’m not

sure if it’s because he’s embarrassed or because he was hurt by my rejection. Maybe it is both.

Anyway, I’ve been giving him space because I didn’t want things to be even more awkward than they

already were.

“See you later, mom,” Noah says as he crosses over to Cal’s.

After I’ve made sure he is in their house, I turn back and head into ours.

I get inside, and not even a minute later, there is a knock on my door. I approach it with trepidation. I was

hoping it wasn’t another note.

I open the door and find Rowan Fuck I’d forgotten that we were supposed to talk. With everything that

has happened, the talk was the least of my worries.

“Hey,” he asks, shoving his hands inside his pocket.

He looked really nervous. Again, this was something I wasn’t used to when it came to him.

“Come in,” I tell him while scanning the area.

The last thing I needed was a note arriving while he was here with me.

He gives me a look.

“What?” I ask.

“I thought you would put up a fight.”

“Do you want to come in or not?” I ask in irritation.

He gives me one last look before he enters my house. Without waiting too long, I close the door afraid

that someone is watching me.

I’ve become so paranoid over the past few days that sometimes it terrifies me. The sooner we deal with

this issue the better for my mental state.

I take a seat in my recliner. I bought it a few weeks ago because it helped relieve my back pain. I even

had

to change my mattress because it made my back pain worse.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” I stare into his eyes. “It sounded pretty important. Is it about

Noah?”

He takes a deep breath before releasing. “No. It’s about us.”

I stare at him, confused, wondering if he had truly lost his mind. What the hell was he even talking about,

for goodness sake?

“There is no us, Rowan. You seem to be forgetting that a lot lately.”

I didn’t want to do this with him. Not when I had so much going on.

“Just listen to me, please,” he pleads, his voice soft.

Something about the desperation in his voice stops me. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t want to put too

much thought into it. Instead, I shut my mouth and focus on him.

He doesn’t talk for a while, as if he were struggling to find the right words. The more he takes his time,

the

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I love you, he finally says.

My mouth drops open, and I gape at him like a fish out of water. He wasn’t seated that far from me, so I

reach out and feel his forehead for a fever.

Are you high? Running a fever? Or maybe I just didn’t hear you, right”

He glares at me, but within seconds, his features soften. He grabs my hand, turns it, and kisses my palm

in a really gentle kiss.

“I don’t know when I fell in love with you or how, all I know is that I love you, Ava. I didn’t see it back then.

I was so overcome with bitterness and anger that I didn’t realize what a true gem I had married. In the

last few months, it’s been hard to be without you. Seeing you in pain or hurt destroys me every time. It

has taken me time to realize that I’m in love with you, but here I am, begging you to give me a chance to

show you the love you deserved from me but never got o

I watch completely stunned, as he gets out of the chair and kneels before me. This all seems like a

dream. It’s like I am in a completely different world right now.

“Oh, Rowan,” I start, trying to make my brain function. “You don’t love me. You’ve never loved me. Emma

is your one and only love. She’s the one that has your heart, remember?”

Pain and regret flash in his eyes. I feel bad for him, but I know that maybe he’s just confused about

things.

It just doesn’t make sense. How can he be in love with me when he hates me so much?

“You’re not listening to me Ava” he says as the pain changes to frustration.

“I am; you’re the one that’s confused, Rowan. How can you be in love with me now? You’ve hated me up

until a few months ago. You have proven over and over again how little you care for me. You have hurt

me more times than I can count, all in the name of punishing me for ruining your relationship with Emma.

You held on to her for years, and now all of a sudden, you want me to believe that you love me?”

The familiar pain creeps back up, but I force it down. I have no time or energy to feel the constant

heartache.

know, and you’ll never know how much I regret hurting you, but if you could only give me a chance, I

promise I’ll never hurt you again and that I’ll heal the wounds I caused.” He whispers brokenly, his eyes

staring at me.

“You have to realize that just because you say you love me doesn’t make it true, Rowan. You had nine

years with me, but not once did you give me a chance. I loved you with everything I was, yet you broke

me with everything you had. How do you expect me to overcome that? Why would I give you a chance

when

you never gave me one?”

+15 BONUS

I shift my eyes away from his. I didn’t want to see his pain. I didn’t want to see the regret and guilt. It was

too much.

“Please”

“Why now, Rowan? Answer me that. If you’re being truthful, what has made you love me now and not

years ago?” I ask him.

He stares at me for a while before looking at the floor. He couldn’t answer me because he had no answer

that would make sense.

I sigh. “You have to see just how unbelievable all this sounds. I’m sorry, but no. You can’t expect me to

believe you love me when, for nine years, all you saw was Emma. You lived and breathed her; it’s hard

to

believe that in a few months that has changed.” 4

I watch as his shoulders slump. If it wasn’t for the fact that my ankles were killing me, I would be pacing

all over the floor.

It only takes a minute for the heartbroken look in his eyes to turn into determination. He leans forwards

and cups my cheek.

“I know this is a lot to take in, and I understand why you don’t believe me, but I am not giving up.

you that I love you, Ava, even if it takes me a fucking lifetime to do it. I won’t stop until you’re convinced

that what I feel for you is true.” His voice takes on a deep tone as he vows to me.

וויו

prove

He bends soon after and gives me a quick kiss before he stands up and leaves. I stay rooted in my chair,

still unable to understand all that just happened.

He said he loved me, could it be true? And should I believe him or am I setting myself up for more

disappointment and heartache?

Whether I believe him or not, something told me that my choice would soon be taken away from me

concerning that matter.