Chapter 112

Anxious heart

Rowan

“Sir? Is there anything you need me to get for you from the restaurant?” My secretary asks, but I

continue

staring outside my office window.

The view was really great. It was one of the reasons why I chose it, but today it didn’t offer me the

tranquility it usually does.

“No. Not today,” I answer without looking at her.

“Okay then, I’ll be back in thirty minutes”

I don’t answer her and after a few seconds I hear the door closing. I sigh in frustration. For some reason

the feeling of foreboding clung to me. It surrounded me in waves. Today more so than the previous days.

I don’t know what it is, but my heart is anxious. I can’t settle nor can I fucking focus. It’s like my soul is

trying to tell me something, but I can’t figure out what.

Trying to distract myself, I think about Ava and our talk. I get her. Damn do I get her hesitation. I’ve spent

more than ten years drilling into her that Emma was the only woman I’ll ever love.

I did everything in my power to show her just how little I cared for her. I’ve spent nine years punishing her

for something that was beyond her control. I drilled into her head that I hated her with every fiber of my

being.

How then could I turn around and claim to love her?

It’s frustrating as hell, but I understand her. I understand her reluctance to believe me. If the roles had

been switched I wouldn’t have believed it so easily.

Apart from all that, I also have to consider the pain I’ve caused her. Nine years of pain and mistreatment

isn’t something you get over within a day or week. Hell. It will probably take years to heal the wounds i

inflicted. 2

The scars will remain with her though and considering the damage I caused, I can’t help but wonder if

she’ll ever forgive me.

I want her. I want her in my life. I want to build a life with her. I crave that more than anything, but if she

doesn’t take me back, then let it be so. I’ll have no one to blame but myself. It will be my penance for the

hurt I’ve caused over the years.

I try to focus on her. To focus on her beautiful face and tactics I could use to get her to take me back, but

I’ve never felt this way before. Never had this unshakable feeling like something bad was going to

happen. I try to assure myself, but it doesn’t work. I stand up and start pacing again. I felt wired. Like I

was going

crazy.

I run my hand through my hair, probably messing it up, but I don’t fucking care. Not when I feel like my

fucking heart was being squeezed by a tight fist.

I turn on the TV. Maybe hearing other people’s voices will help me calm down. It was better than listening

to my own since it was distorted, jumbled and confused the hell out of me.

I don’t know for how long I stood pacing through the room when my door opened. I turn to find Gabe. He

looked like hell froze over. He was breathing heavily, his eyes looked bloodshot and there was worry and

anguish in them.

I still in my tracks. Fuck. My brother is usually impeccable and not easily fazed. We share that trait as

twins. If he looks anything other than that then something serious must be wrong.

“What is it?” I ask as my heart rate picks up.

Fuck was it our parent’s? Maybe Noah?

“Ro…” he starts but doesn’t finish his sentence. His voice was mixed with pain.

“Fuck, Gabe. Tell me what’s wrong. Is it mom or dad?”

I see him swallow, before his eyes focus on me.

“It’s Ava” he finally says.

I’m about to ask him what’s wrong with Ava when an unrecognizable voice mentions her name. I begin to

turn in the direction of the TV.

“Please, Rowan…don’t watch it, focus on me” My brother begs me, but I don’t pay attention to him.

I needed to know what the hell the reporters have to say about Ava.

BREAKING NEWS.

The headlines written in big, bold letters.

“News just in, Member of the Sharp family and founder of The Hope Foundation was today gunned down

by unknown people. We are yet to know the state she’s in, but the gunman opened fire to what seems to

be a hit targeted at her. The video you’re about to watch maybe disturbing to some”

2/4

+15 BONUS

I feel my knees weaken, but nothing could have prepared me to watching the woman I love being shot

multiple times

The video showed Ava as she was walking out of an ice cream shop. Her eyes were downcast and she

had a small frown on her face. Whoever took the video captured a black SUV with tinted windows speed

in her direction. Just before the drove past her, a masked person, rolled the window down just enough to

fit the gun, before shooting several times. They sped past her, leaving Ava to crumble on the ground in a

pool of blood

The video ends, and the presenter comes back on.

“We are yet to establish why these gangsters would shoot a pregnant woman, but stay tuned as we try to

find out.”

She proceeds to talk about the damage to the shop and how two other people were injured, but that

doesn’t concern me. My focus was Ava. I couldn’t erase the image of her body lying motionless in a pool

of her own blood from my mind

“Rowan?” I hear his voice but it doesn’t registers.

Nothing fucking registers in my head. I felt so fucking broken I felt lost. My heart was fractured to tiny

pieces. How am I supposed to survive if something happens to her?

“Ro…”

His hand on my shoulder makes me jump into action.

“I need to go to her…I need to see her” I struggle to say against the waves of emotions that were

choking

me.

I don’t wait to hear what he says, before I am out of my office door. I rush down the corridor towards my

private elevator. My employees stare at me in confusion. I probably looked like a deranged person, but I

don’t give a damn.

Jumping to the elevator, I key it in for the underground parking. My need to see her intensified with every

bit of my heart.

I got underground and immediately rushed to the reserved parking space. My car was there and so was

Gabe’s.

I struggled to unlock the doors. My hands were shaking and I couldn’t stop the tremble no matter what.

The keys fell out of my grip, frustrating me even further.

Fuck” I yell, kicking the tire in anger, fear and frustration.

+15 BONUS

Bending down, I pick the keys and manage to unlock the doors. I had my hand on the handle, about to

open it when a hand stopped me.

I turn around pissed off, about to lash out when his voice stops.

“I’m not about to let you fucking drive while you’re in this state” he says before pushing forward his hand.

” Give me the keys, I’ll take you to the hospital.”

I deflate and hand him the keys. He was right. I wasn’t in the right mental state to drive anywhere. The

last thing Noah needed is to have both parents in the hospital.

I get in and Gabe starts the car, all the while praying that Ava was okay because I don’t how I’ll survive if

I

were to lose her.