Chapter 2
Ex-Husband’s Regret
Sorry for your loss
âI need to go, could you please stay with Noah? I donât know how long Iâll be thereâ I say absent
mindedly as I pick up my handbag.
âSure. Iâll be there as soon as I can get my mother to come baby sit himâ Rowan responds but it is
drowned by the ringing in my ears.
Nothing much registers as I say goodbye to my son and leave. I get inside my car and begin to drive to
the hospital. My mind completely lost in memory.
Growing up, you could say that I was emotional neglected. I was the child that none of my parents
cared that much about. Fatherâs favorite was my older sister, Emma. He used to call her his baby girl.
His princess. Motherâs favorite was my older brother Travis. He was her handsome boy. I was no one
favorite. I was just Ava.
I always felt unwanted. Unwelcomed. Not only with my parents but also with my siblings. No matter
what I tried to do, good grades, sports, school clubs. I always remained in the sidelines. I always felt
like a stranger looking in. Never part of the big happy family.
After what happened nine years ago, the little relationship I had with my family became none existence.
Travis rarely talked to me and he and father would even go to great lengths to downright snub me.
Mother wasnât much different. She only talked to me or called when she had something important to tell
me. With my sister that was a completely different case. We havenât seen or talked to each other in
nine years. The last words she told me was that I was dead to her. That she no longer had a sister.
Now here I am. Driving to the hospital because father has been shot and all I feel is numb. Despite
everything that has happened. Shouldnât I be feeling something more? Maybe sadness?
What are you supposed to feel when youâre told that the father who shunned you all your life is lying in
bed with a bullet wound? How am I supposed to react? And is it weird that I feel nothing?
The whole drive to the hospital is reflective. As I think of my childhood and even part of my adulthood.
The pain and hurt is still there. I donât think the pain of rejection from my own family will ever go away.
Thatâs who I am. A rejected woman. First by my family, then by my husband and in laws. The only one
who accepts me and loves me just the way I am is Noah.
It doesnât take long to get to the hospital. We had one main big hospital in this town and I just knew
thatâs where my father was.
Parking my car, I get out. The cool evening air ruffles my hair. I take a deep breath and square my
shoulder before entering the building.
âIâm looking for James Sharp, I believe he was brought in for a gunshot woundâ I tell the receptionist
once I get to the front desk.
âAny relation?â she asks.
âHeâs my fatherâ
She nods her head. âGive me a minute.â She pauses while she types on her computer. âRight, he is in
the ER, getting prepped for surgery. Just go straight ahead, at the end youâll see the emergency door.
Youâll find your family thereâ
âThanksâ
I turn around and follow her instruction. My heart beating with every step I take.
âHeâs going to be okay. Heâll recover soon and go back to his old selfâ I whisper to myself.
Despite our differences I wanted him to be well. He and I may not have a relationship but heâs loving
towards Noah and thatâs all I can ever ask for.
I push the door and enter. I immediately spot mother and Travis on the waiting chair. I school my
features and approach them.
âMother, Travisâ I say as a way of greeting.
They both look up at me. Motherâs eyes are bloodshot from crying and her blue sundress is covered in
blood. Travisâ eyes are dry but you can still see how much this is affecting him. He was trying to keep it
together for motherâs sake.
I take a sit next to her. âWhat happened and how is he doing?â
The question brings on about of fresh tears.
âHe was shot twice on his way back from the store, right outside our house. I called the ambulance
immediately and we brought him here. The doctors say one of the bullets pierced his lungs and the
other his kidney. Theyâre preparing him for surgeryâ her voice catches at the end.
I nod my head. I want to comfort her. To hug her, but I donât think my touch would be welcomed.
âDonât worry. Father is the strongest man I know. Heâll be okayâ I try to reassure her.
She doesnât say anything. Just continues to cry.
Minutes later they bring father out. Heâs dressed in a hospital gown and is lying on a hospital bed.
Travis and mother immediately stand up and rush to his side.
I stay seated. Iâm pretty sure my face is the last thing he wants to see. He would rather it be Emmaâs.
I watch as mother cries over him. He weakly wipes her tears but they keep falling. He tells Travis
something and Travis nods. His face etched in determination. Before they take him away, I see him
hand over what looks like a paper to mother. This brings fresh tears running down her face.
She kisses him and they wheel him away. Mother and Travis come back and take their seats. We donât
talk as we begin the long wait.
I stand up, I pace, I sit back down. I get everyone coffee. As each minute passes, I grow more anxious
and so do the rest. Two and half hour later, the doctor comes to the waiting.
From the somber look on his face, I just know that father didnât make it. Mother senses the same thing
because she starts hiccupping.
âHe went into cardiac arrest, we tried everything we could, but we werenât able to save him. Iâm sorry
for your lossâ he says.
The sound that tears out of motherâs lips is animalistic. Full of pain and sorrow. Travis catches her
before she falls and they both sink to the floor. Both crying at the loss.
Father was dead and I knew that meant that Emma would have to come back