Chapter 22
Ex-Husband’s Regret
Rowan
Today I was hoping to have a wonderful evening with Emma, but that was blown to shits when I saw Ava out on a date with Ethan.
âRowan?â Emma calls me but I just canât get my brain to function.
There, Ava stood in the arms of another man. At first I thought that my eyes were playing tricks on me. I had been happy because seeing Ethan out with another woman proved he was a weasel.
That was until I realized said woman was Ava
She was stunningly beautiful. A sight I have never seen before. Her flawless skin was on display and the little black dress she had on showed her curves.
Sure Iâve seen her n*ked before but this sight hit me differently. She had dressed up, something she never did when we were together. Probably because I never asked her out and never bothered with her.
I watch as Ethan pushes a piece of her hair behind her ear. That gets my blood rushing, but not
like watching him caress her cheek before k*ssing her forehead. Seeing him doing that has me seeing red
She smiles at him. A smile that for an unknown reason almost brings me to my knees.
âRowan, youâre hurting me!â Emma snaps.
Itâs only then that I realize that I had tightened my hand around her. I loosen it before turning in the direction of Ava. Our eyes collide but she quickly averts them, before stepping into Ethanâs car.
I wanted to rage. To destroy something, someone actually. I wanted to hit Ethan to a bloody pulp. I was mad at him and at my reaction at seeing him with Ava
Emma wrenches her arm from mine before stomping away angrily.
Before I can stop her, she hails a taxi and leaves.
I didnât understand my anger. Now more than anything I understood that there was something going on between Ava and Ethan. I hated it.
My mind was so F***ing torn, and I was confused as shit. I know Emma didnât deserve this after all the shit I put her through, but also I didnât know how to explain why all of a sudden her sister affected me so much.
Getting in my car, I drive off and head towards her condo because I know thatâs where sheâll be. It doesnât take me long before Iâm parking outside her building.
She gave ine a spare key, so I unlock the door and get in. I find her seated on the sofa, staring at nothing.
âEmma?â I call to her gently.
She turns to look. Her blue eyes red and puffy. I feel like an asshole. This is the woman Iâve loved since I understood what love is. Yet here I was hurting her, after promising never to do it again.
âWhat are you doing here?â she composes herself, Hiding away her pain.
âIâm F***ing sorry for earlierâ¦â
âAre you?â she asks, her eyes piercing mine. âDo you know how painful it was to watch you pinning over my sister? How hard it was to watch you drool over her then get pissed off when you realized that she was out with another manâ
The guilt that eats at me is ravenous. Either way, I still couldnât help how I reacted to seeing Ava. I should have and I probably could have. Seeing her like that wasnât something I was prepared for.
âEmmaâ¦â she cuts me off and stands up
She begins to pace, her hand gesturing wildly. Something she does when sheâs pissed but doesnât know how to deal with it.
âDid you fall in love with her during your marriage? Is that it? Then why the hell did you ask me to give your another chance if you knew very well that your love for me was already dead?â she demands.
âIâm not in love with, Avaâ I growl out.
I think I would know if I were in love with her.
âAre you sure? Because from where Iâm standing, the way your behave towards her suggests otherwiseâ
âWe were married, of course I care for her but thatâs itâ
If that was the case, then why did I feel like I wanted to murder someone every time I think of Ava and any other man? I shake those thoughts away. I wasnât ready to answer them
âYouâre a goddamn liar. Youâre in love with her, just F***ing admit itâ she shouts angrily then proceeds to throw a book at me.
I dodge it just in time and it hits the wall behind me instead.
âWill you calm down and let me explainâ I snap, feeling my temper rise.
âI donât want your st* pid explanation. Itâs bound to be liesâ she shrieks. âJust leave, Rowan I canât deal with you right now.â
She collapses on her sofa and continues staring at the blank Tv. I wanted to stay but I donât think it is a good idea so I leave instead
I had no direction as I drove My head was a F***ing mess. Caught between two women. I know that Emma was hurting but I couldnât bring my mind to focus on her wanted
I now had everything Iâve ever wanted. Yet here was, ruining the fragile relationship I had with Emma Ava has always been unwanted. The wrong sister. So why the hell was she twisting me up all of a sudden? I hated being confused and thatâs exactly what Ava was F***ing doing to me.
I finally stop my car, only to realize I was parked outside Avaâs house. How I ended up here, I donât F***ing know
Now that I was here, the need to see her consumed me. I felt like I would go crazy with the st* pid need. One I didnât even understand in the F***ing place.
Getting out, I rush towards her door and knock urgently. Hoping that she was home.
âDid you forget something?â she opens her door and stops to look at me in surprise.
I bet I was the last person she expected to see at her door. I donât give her the chance to speak before pushing her inside, locking the door and crashing my l*ps to hers
I take her l*ps with a need that almost brings me down to my F***ing knees. She gaps in shock and I take the opportunity to deepen the k*ss. Feeling her in every damn fiber of my b*dy.
Wrapping my hand around her tiny waist. I pull her closer, bridging the gap between us.
I needed more. I was about to lift her up and wrap her legs around my hips, when she pushes me
Then she slaps me.
âWhat the hell, Rowan?â she screams. Her eye are wide and her l*ps are swollen. She looked thoroughly devoured.
The slap she gave me brought me back to my senses. She looked as shocked and confused as I was. Without giving her answer, I open the door and stomp out. Banging the door behind me. I was beyond angry with myself.
I get back to my car and drive off. Still confused about what just happened.
Ava was right.
What the F*** was I doing? Because I sure as shit no longer knew