Chapter 71
Ex-Husband’s Regret
Making a promise
âNoah, are you done with your homework?â I call, but I donât get an answer.
It was Friday afternoon and I was dead tired on my feet. I had forgotten when youâre pregnant how
easily you get tired. Every single thing tired me out.
The only thing Iâm grateful for is that I never experienced morning sickness unlike when I was
pregnant with Noah. 1
âNoah?â I call him again.
I wonder what the hell he is doing. I usually get an answer immediately. Unless something has
caught his attention and distracted him.
Before I can carry my tired body to go upstairs to check on him, my doorbell rings.
I release a heavy sigh. Itâs not that I didnât want to see anybody, I just wanted to take a break.
Maybe have a long bath.
I spent the whole day at the Hope Foundation going through tons of documents that needed my
attention. My eyes were dry, My mind was burnt out and my body was aching all over.
Dragging myself, I open my door and I am surprised to find Calvin and Gunner at my doorstep. Itâs
been two days since that day in my backyard.
When Gunner didnât show up when Noah got back from school, I assumed that maybe Calvin
didnât want anything to do with us. After all, he was really grumpy during our whole encounter.
âHiâ shock was clearly in my voice and I couldnât hide it.
âHi Miss Avaâ Gunner tells me sweetly with a smile. âThese are for youâ
Itâs then that I notice he has a bouquet of flowers. Pink roses to be exact. He hands them to me and
I take them gratefully.
âThank you Gunner. These are beautifulâ Without thinking, I bend down and kiss his cheeks.
When I straighten, he gives me a shy smile. Just like with Noah, I could already tell that Gunner
was a sweet boy.
I shift my eyes to his father, âWould you like to come in?â
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He looks hesitant at first, but when Gunner pulls his hand, he agrees.
I lead them straight to the kitchen where I had been baking cookies and cupcakes. Noah had
requested for them and though I was tired, I couldnât refuse him.
âYouâre just in time to eat some goodnessâ I tell them as the oven timer pings.
I look for a vase and place the beautiful flowers Gunner brought me.
âNoahâ I call again as I place some cookies in front of our guests.
âIâm coming mommyâ he shouts back.
I hear his bedroom door close. Then his footsteps as he runs down the hallway and then the stairs.
Seconds later, he breaks through the kitchen door. He comes to a stop when he sees that we have
visitors.
NCH TH
âCome, my love. I want you to meet someoneâ he hesitantly takes a step until heâs standing next to
me.
W
Noah is a bit shy at first glance. That is before you get to know him better. When he sheds his
shyness, you wonât even believe that heâs the same boy. Heâll talk your ear off.
âNoah, this here is Gunner. He lives next door and Gunner, this is my son Noah. Heâs the one I was
telling you aboutâ
If Iâm being honest, I thought things will be awkward between them at first, but I am wrong.
Gunner smiles âHiâ
âWanna play in my room?â Noah asks at the same time.
âSureâ
With that, Noah grabs a bunch of cookies and hands them to Gunner. Then he goes to the pantry
and get a couple of juice boxes.
âCome on, Iâve got a new game to show youâ Noah says as they walk off.
I was super surprised by his actions. I thought it would take a bit of pushing to get him to warm
up to Gunner. I guess I didnât need to.
âWell that went well. Iâm surprised Gunner made the first move. Heâs usually really reservedâ
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I face him. I had completely forgotten that he was even there.
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âNoah is like that too at first. He has to get comfortable with someone firstâ
âReally? Then heâs much better off. When I say that Gunner is reserved I mean, he likes his own
company. He doesnât like making friends or meeting new people. Even in school, he keeps to
himselfâ
âSeriously?â I ask shocked.
âSeriously. At this point I think Rex and I are his only friendsâ
I frown at that. I wasnât a child psychologist but I was a teacher. Even I knew that that wasnât typical
behaviour for a child his age.
For a child to be that withdraw, then there is probably a problem. I know it doesnât lie with Calvin.
You just have to take one look at them to know they adore each other.
Something else was wrong. If Gunner is as withdrawn as Cal says, then somethingâs made him.
that way.
âHopefully Noah can get him out of his shellâ I mumble, handing him a cupcake.
I round the island. Taking one of the barstools, I exhale in relief that I was off my feet. I dig into
one of the cupcake. My mind completely empty.
âI wanted to apologizeâ Calvin says after a while.
âFor what?â
âComing off as rude the other day.â
Waving my hands dismissively, I face him. âIn your defence, I was being too extra, so donât worry
about itâ
Talking about that day reminds me of the pain I saw in his eyes. Right now he has done a good job
of trying to hide it.
Others may assume heâs okay, but I can tell he is not. I recognize the struggle in his soul because I
usually go through the same thing.
Itâs easy for someone whoâs been hurt to see the pain others are trying to hide. Especially if itâs the
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âSo what do you do for a living?â He asks, probably trying to make small talk.
âIâm a teacher, but Iâm on leave for the next few monthsâ
I had thought about going back, but I decided against it. Even though I was bored being home
alone, I knew I needed this time to myself. Not only because of the pregnancy, but also because of
my mental state. O
âSo you got together with Rowan? Noah is his doppelgänger. Itâs so uncannyâ
At that I snort. âEveryone in this damn city knows what happened with Rowan. I didnât get with
him. It was a drunk night gone wrongâ
I sometimes curse that night when I think of how my life would have been different if it wasnât for
my obsession. Then I remember that if it wasnât for that night, then I wouldnât have Noah. In the
end Iâm left wishing it didnât happen, but thankful because I got someone precious from it.
âWhat happened?â Cal asks curiously.
I clump up. Feeling myself start to sweat. âThatâs a story for another day. Right now I donât want to
relieve itâ
I havenât heard from Rowan since the day he showed up at my appointment which was three days
ago.
I also havenât gotten any surprise visits from Emma demanding I stay away from her man. I think
Rowan is probably too busy trying to do damage control with Emma and for that I am grateful.
I didnât want him around me because when he is, he confuses things. His recent behavior is
messing with my head and Iâm tired of trying to figure him out.
âWhat about you? Whereâs your wifeâ he was the same age as Emma so I assume heâs married.
âI donât have a wifeâ
âOkayâ¦whereâs Gunnerâs mom?â
I see pure undulated pain flash in his eyes. The kind of pain that isnât yours, but you still feel it all
the way to your soul. My heart aches for him, because I know how such pain can be consuming.
âSâsheâs not in the pictureâ he stammers in a broken voice. A voice filled with pain and a bit of
anger.
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Fuck. I feel the need to comfort him, but I am not sure it will be welcomed.
âIâm so sorry to hear thatâ I whisper feeling terrible for asking because I drenched up his pain.
I canât imagine losing a spouse. I canât imagine living the life you imagined alone knowing the love of
your life isnât there with you. O
Calvin looks like the kind of man who loves deeply. If you love deeply then the loss is also just as deep.
The loss becomes all consuming.
Now I know where his pain originates from. He wasnât hurt by someone. He lost someone he deeply
loves, 1
He breathes out. Trying to once again bury his pain. âItâs okay. She hasnât been in the picture for a
while and Iâm slowly learning to live with itâ 2
I grab his hand and squeeze. Giving him the comfort he clearly needs.
Changing the subject into something lighter, I ask him if he would help me plant my garden again
since he didnât send anyone to fix what Rex destroyed.
After talking to him, I realize why Gunner is withdrawn. Losing a parent at such a young age isnât
easy and some children never recover from it.
I didnât know them well, but right there and then I promise myself that I will be there for them. I
was going to help them. 15
We all need happiness and joy in our lives and from the looks of it, Calvin and Gunner havenât had
it in a long time.