Chapter 85
Ex-Husband’s Regret
His Unbelievable words
Ava
âWâwhat?â I stammer, looking at Rowan in complete shock
I couldnât have heard him correctly. The Rowan I knew would have done anything for Emma Including
sacrificing me.
My heart beats wildly as I stare at his blank face.
âYou heard me, Avaâ he repeats. No trace of lying in his voice. âIf it had to come to it, I would have
gladly let her die if it meant saving youâ
At first I thought that heâd lied so I wouldnât feel bad. After all, who likes knowing that the man
she spent almost a decade with would gladly save another woman?
I thought he was saying that just to spare my feelings. Looking at his face though, I realize that he
was telling the truth. It was written on his face and in his eyes. Besides, when has Rowan ever
spared my feelings? Heâs never shied away from telling how it is so why would he start lying now?
I release a deep breath and untangle my hands from his. It felt too intimate. I already had so much
thoughts dancing in my head. I didnât need his warm hands confusing me more.
âYou donât mean thatâ I tell him after a while. âEmma is the woman youâve loved since the first
time you realized what love is. Youâve been in love with her for so many years, how then can you
so casually say you would sacrifice her for my sake?â
His brows draw into a frown. He goes to speak, but I interrupt him.
âIâm the one that has meant nothing to you from the start. Remember? You hate me Rowan. Youâve
hated me for years, so what the hell is going on? How can you just decide one day that Iâm more
important than your precious Emma? Something is just not adding up. You just canât unhate me
all of a suddenâ 2
I fall back on the pillow in exhaustion. I knew what I said was the damn truth. There is just no way all the
hate, resentment and bitterness he has had for me for the past nine years disappeared
into thin air.
You just donât wake up one day a brand new person. Intense feelings are hard to get rid of. Hard to bury.
I should know that. Didnât I struggle with trying to kill and bury the love I had for Rowan?
1/5
finally nd myself of it.
Ava
+15 BONUS
He goes to say something, but I am just done. I donât want to hear it. I donât want him to make up pretty
little lies. I donât want any new changes. I just want to go back to how things were before
When they all hated and despised me. D
I know some might wonder why I would want such a thing, right? After all, isnât this what Iâve
always wanted? For them to realize their mistake and crawl begging for forgiveness.
The truth is, I am just so used to their cruelty that I donât know how to deal with this new versions of their
persona. Itâs confusing because a part of me wants to let it all go and forgive them. The
other part though, doesnât trust their intentions. 3
Maybe itâs the trauma from being rejected over and over again, but I canât trust their brand new feelings
towards me. It feels like a game. A game of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
âNo, Rowanâ I cut him off. âIâm thankful that you saved me, but please leave. You should be by
Emmaâs side. Thatâs where youâve always wanted to be. Emma is here and you have waited years
to be with her. Please donât screw things up. What we had meant nothing. It was a mistake from the
beginning. We both spent those nine years in misery, itâs time each of us found our happiness
right? Yours has always been with Emma, and mineâ¦well mine is now with my childrenâ
He wants to argue. I see it in his eyes as the grey pools darken. Almost like there was a storm
raging inside. I still. Waiting for a fight, but it doesnât come.
Iâm surprised when he sags against his chair, before letting out a sigh.
âAlright, I leave you aloneâ¦for nowâ he says in a gruff voice before standing up.
I thought that would be it, but instead of leaving immediately, he bends and the kisses my
forehead gently. Before I can say or do anything. He leaves, closing the door gently behind him.
Iâm left staring at his back. Wondering what the hell just happened. Itâs not that I am not happy he
left. I am. Itâs just Rowan is used to doing whatever the fuck he wants, yet he left when I asked
even though you could tell he didnât want to.
As I slowly regain my energy, I think about what he told me. Of course itâs hard to believe him. I
mean this is Rowan we are talking about. The same Rowan that told me I could never measure up
to be like Emma or a woman he loves.
2/5
What the hell is going on with him? I question but donât get any answers
Any other man I would have believed if he told me that he would give up Emms But not Howan Never
Rowan
How does he expect me to believe him? For nine years he along with everyone else has told me that I
am nothing. That I meant nothing to him. So how does he expect to flip things around out of nowhere
and expect that I would believe him?
I had so many questions, but no answer. All those questions were doing my head in, so I push them
aside instead. Whatever was going on in Rowanâs head wasnât my damn business. Him and 1 were
done. It wasnât my place to try and figure him out.
Without meaning too, exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep.
When I wake up, itâs to find my parents in the room with me. They looked as exhausted as I felt Each of
them was holding one of my hands and at that moment Iâve never felt more loved.
This is what I had craved from Rowan and the Sharps. The fact that I finally had it, brought so many
emotions to the surface.
I must have made a sound, because they both look up.
âAvaâ mom calls, her voice catching. âHow are you feeling?â
My eyes fill. I blink to try and push them back, but it does nothing.
âI love you guys so much. Thank you for being everything Iâve always imaginedâ My voice was so full of
emotions that it was hard to speak.
âAww darling. You canât imagine how Iâve been dying to hear you say thatâ mom says, her tears reflecting
in the light.
âWe love you too baby girl. More than you could ever imagineâ dad adds.
I let the tears fall as I bask in their warm embrace. Surrounded by their love.
We separate as the door opens and a nurse walks in.
âAre you ready for discharge, Ava?â she asks smiling kindly at me.
I was so happy when they told me that my baby was doing fine. That the drugs I inhaled hadnât
affected the baby in any way.
3/5
+15 BONUS
âYes. Iâm dying to see and hold my son* I tell her smiling back at her.
Rowan told me that he was with his parents I planned to pick him up on the way home. I donât
plan to be a second away from him because I knew today would have gone differently. If it had. I
wouldnâ: nave been alive to see him.
âOkay. Come to the reception once youâre done hereâ she instructs just before she leaves,
Mom had brought a change of clothes. She helps me change in the small bathroom while dad
waits for us. After I finish, we leave the room.
Mom and dad insist on taking care of the bills. They wanted me off my feet.
As I waited, I notice the Sharpâs, Gabe and Rowan. Taking in a deep breathe, as if I could breathe in
the courage to face them I walk towards them. I take my time, not sure what I was doing, but sure
I wanted to know how Emma was doing.
They all turn to me when I walk up to them. It felt like back in highschool. The scared nerdy kid
approaching the popular table.
âI just wanted to ask how Emma isâ I announce, shifting from one foot to another.
At first no one says anything, but then Kate stands up and pulls me into her arms. I freeze. It was
so weird because sheâs never hugged me before, so it felt strange.
My hands lay straight by my side. I donât want to hug her back. Didnât want to give her the wrong
idea.
âSheâs okay. She just came out of surgeryâ Travis is the one that answers.
I just nod my head. What was there to say any way?
Kate releases me when she realizes that I am not hugging her back. She just looks at me with
tears in her eyes.
Holding out her hand, she goes to place it on my cheek, but I step back. Avoiding her touch.
âIâm glad youâre okay, Ava. So thankful that both my daughters are safeâ her voice catches as she
speaks.
I want to tell her that Iâm not her daughter. That she lost the right to call me that, but I donât get
the chance.
4/5
+15 BONUS
âDarling?â her soft voice calls from behind. âItâs time to go home, my loveâ
1 see Kate flinch, but I donât have it in me to care.
My gaze sweeps over all of them before finally landing on Rowan. I quickly avert my gaze from his.
âIâm glad sheâs okay. I didnât get to thank her, but tell her Iâm grateful for what she did.â I donât have
anything else to add, so I turn around and walk to my parents.
Dad pulls me into his arms, and mom links her hand with mine. I feel eyes on me as we walk. I donât
have to be told who they belonged to.
I walk away, my mind in turmoil, but I refuse to turn around. I didnât want to see the emotions in Rowanâs
eyes. The ones that were burning for the brief second I looked at him. The very ones I refuse to
acknowledge because I knew that I was probably mistaken.
There is just no way I saw something akin to love in his eyes as he stared at me, because Rowan only
loves one woman and her name is Emma.