Chapter 93
Ex-Husband’s Regret
Ava
"How you doing? mom asks through the phone. âAnd how are the baby and Noah?
Once again they were out of the country for a business meeting. It didnât come as a surprise to me that they had their own private jet since Rowan did too. He had his own and there was also a family one. I have never used his. Never been inside it. Probably because we rarely went to any trips together.
When my wealth rose to great heights, I thought of buying a jet of my own, but I quickly shot the idea down. What the hell would I use it for? I rarely went anywhere that will necessitate me needing one of my own. If I had to go somewhere, I usually hired one or Iâd just fly business class.
âAva?
âSorry mom. Weâre all doing well. We just miss you guys so muchâ
And it was true. Theyâve been gone for a week and theyâll be away for another week. Noah and I missed them like crazy. Itâs surprising how theyâve become such a big part of our lives in such a short time,
âWe miss you too. Your dad says hi by the way. He said heâll talk to you in the evening when he isnât so busyâ
âThatâs all rightâ
âSo, have you bought anything new for the b
our months isnât long. Soon he or she will be hereâ just as always, excitement rings in her voice when she talks about the baby.
âHow am I supposed to buy anything when everyone around me already has? This baby will have more than in enough and a lot to choose fromâ I laugh.
The babyâs room was full of stuff. I thought that mom, dad, Letty and Corrine were bad. That was before Reaper came into the picture.
He has been sending cute little gifts since I allowed him to be part of his or her life. I donât even get when or where he goes shopping when he is in hiding. Everything he has bought is in color pink. Just like with Noah and Ethan, he also believes that it will be a baby girl.
My smile falls as soon as thoughts of him pass through my mind. I know I promised him, but I not have gotten along with Father, but he still raised me.
I canât wait for the baby to be bom. I missed Noahâs birth so Iâm making up with this babyâ her voice pulls me from my black thoughts.
Can I call you back mom? I was meeting up with Letty and Corrine for a lunch date and I see them pulling up
It probably wasnât them, but my mood had already been shot down to hell.
âSure. Talk to you later. I love you Avaâ
I love you too momâ I say, then hang up the phone.
I sigh as I place my phone down at the table. The moment I do that, my conflicting thoughts immediately attack.
Father wasnât the only issue associated with Reaper. There was also Rowan. Sure, he wasnât my favorite person, but he was Noahâs father. Reaper was hell bent on revenge and losing Rowan would destroy Noah.
There was also the likelihood that he would go after those Rowan loved. Noah loved the same people, well except for Emma that is. I just didnât know what to do because part of me felt like I had made a mistake giving him a chance. The other part just told me to trust my instincts and my instincts told me it was the right move.
âWhat are you thinking so hard about?â Corrineâs voice startles me.
âFuck, you scared meâ I put my hand on my as if that would slow down my beating hard.
âSorry. I thought you saw me coming inâ she says looking sheepish.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadnât realized that they had entered the private booth.
âItâs okayâ¦I just have a lot on mindâ
âCare to share?â Letty asks, taking her seat.
I shake my head. âNot reallyâ
Itâs not that I didnât want to share, itâs just that I didnât know how to. How do I even begin telling them that the criminal everyone is tirelessly searching for is my babyâs uncle? Or that we have been in contact and as if that wasnât worse I permitted him to be in my babyâs life?
Does this have to do with Rowan again?â Letty leans forward. Her eyes sparkling for some odd reason. Travis said that Rowan called him a few days ago and he was butt drunkâ
I frown at that. I canât remember the last time Rowan got drunk. He stopped drinking too much after Ncan was born. Plus heâs gone radio silent since that night he showed up unexpectedly at my house.
I still canât believe that I punched him. It felt good because Iâve wanted to do that for a long time.
âWhy was he drunk?â Corrine asks, seeming curious.
Letty shrugs her shoulders as she answers. âNeither Travis or I know, but I bet Gabe knows and I double bet that Ava has an ideaâ
They both turn to look at me expectantly. I shift uncomfortably on my chair.
âSpill it, Avaâ Letty commands.
âHonestly, I donât know anything. The last time I saw him, he turned up unexpectedly at my house at night. His behavior was odd so I asked him to leaveâ
âDescribe odd?â Corrine pushes.
âHe got jealous when Noah mentioned that Re-â I catch myself before I can say his name. âNoah mentioned something about suitors and he went ballistic saying I belonged to him and he wasnât going to allow me to whore myself to other menâ
I still get pissed when I remember his words. Like what the hell was wrong with him? I belonged to him? Since when? Plus I am not a F***ing object. I am a human being.
âOoh, so possessive. I never thought I would see the day when Rowan becomes possessive towards youâ Letty says all dreamy.
I just look at her like she was losing her grip on reality.
âYou canât be serious, Letty. This is Rowan we are talking about. The same man that told me over and over again that I meant nothing to him. That he would never love me because he hates my
F***ing gutsâ
The pain I used to feel was mainly replaced by anger. All the heartbreak I went through and all for what? He is still a thorn on my side.
âI honestly think he has come to the realization that he wants you. Why do you think he wants to
âEven if thatâs true, which I highly doubt, it doesnât matter Itâs a little too late. I gave him countless opportunities during the nine years we were married and he wasted them all. He gave me nothing return except pain. I just donât see things the way you guys doâ
Theyâre quiet Both staring at me like they want to say something, but donât know how. For now, all I want is to let this Rowan issue go. I donât want to think about him or his sudden change in behavior. I already had too much on my plate without adding him to the mix.
âLook, I know you guys want to see me happy and for some reason you think Iâll find that happiness with Rowan, but youâre wrong. Our relationship was doomed from the moment we said â I doâ years ago. We are toxic for each other. I loved him and hated him at the same time while he only hated me. I tried transforming myself into something Iâm not just so he would love me and that didnât work. Even if I were to try now, it wouldnât work. The love I had for him is buried under tons of pain, heartbreak, resentment and bitterness. So please I beg you, letâs just let this issue go okay?â
You canât force the heart to want something it doesnât. Thatâs what Corrine and Letty were trying to do. Force feelings that didnât exist. They want me to get my fairytale ending and they believe that will only happen with Rowan. Why couldnât they understand that just because they want him to love me doesnât make it a reality?
Sure, Rowan was acting differently, but I believe itâs just a phase. Men like what they canât have. He wants me now because he canât have me. Soon enough heâll get bored of the chase and go back to his true love. If I give in Iâll be left in another load of heartbreak after he realizes I am not what he wants.
âLetâs just focus on what we came here for them after silence descends on us.."
âAlrightâ Corrine replies.
âFineâ Letty grumbles.
I sigh in relief. Happy they were willing to let it go for now. I know Letty will look for an opportunity to bring it up again, but Iâll deal with it when she does.
âCan we go to an ice cream shop or something? For some reason this fancy ass place is getting on my nerves with all the snobbish waiters and waitressesâ Letty says out of nowhere.
âWe could go to my restaurantâ Corrine adds.
I donât know why they didnât think of that in the first place. Instead of saying anything, I keep quiet
âNah. Have you ever been to an ice cream shop or a fast food restaurant?â Letty turns to face
Comine whose eyes shift nervously.
She shakes her head. âNot reallyâ
âGreat Today is your lucky day. Weâll have lunch at a fast food restaurant then have a froyo or ice cream at an ice cream shop, then weâll head to your office to discuss our business progress so farâ
I smile at the deer caught in headlights look that Corrine has plastered on her face. Itâs time we introduce her to the normal world. Which in my opinion is way better than the stuck up people who surround us.
Letty pulls Corrine up, while I stand up.
âWhat if I get food poisoning? I heard that such restaurants arenât entirely hygienic when they handle food.â Corrine complains as she tries to wiggle out of Lettyâs grasp.
âSo what? Youâll get a bad case of diarrhea and after a few days of pooping your intestines off, youâll be good to go. Trust me. This fancy stuff has nothing on greasy foodâ Letty answers.
Laughing, I walk behind them as I listen to their banter. It was so refreshing.
I was contemplating on how thankful I am for having such friends, when her bitter voice kills every single joy I was feeling.
âLook what we have here? Itâs the pregnant whoreâ
I turn to my side to find Christine staring at me with nothing but hatred in her eyes. As if that wasnât enough, Emma was standing right next to her.
I close my eyes and let out a breath while wondering why the hell did god hate me so much.