Chapter Sixteen

The venue was almost fully decorated.

I'd been paired up with Trent as a decoration buddy of sorts, and we'd been working to finish filling up the back wall. We were taking turns going up the ladder, hanging ribbons of citrus and lilac against the wall's frame.

I couldn't help but be amused by Clarissa's choice. I'd advised her to go with lilac, but it seemed like she'd decided on going with both. And even though the colors seemed to clash at first, the more I looked at the wall, the more the color scheme made sense.

"Nice work, boys," Clarissa said as she walked up to the wall. "Baby, did you already give Matt the mason jars? He said he needed to string them up by tonight."

"Yes, babe. I already took care of it," Trent answered, climbing up the ladder's steps.

"Thank you," Clarissa replied, her voice as sweet as ever.

And that's when I decided to make my move. I'd noticed Raven had gone missing from the room a few hours ago, but for all I knew, he was outside talking with vendors. But, since I didn't want to ask Clarissa about his whereabouts, at least not with Trent within earshot, I needed to have this conversation with her privately.

"Hey, where's Raven?" I asked, shifting closer to her as Trent climbed higher on the ladder. "I've been looking all over for him."

"Why?" She didn't even look up at me as she spoke, staring at a deck of notecards in her hand. I couldn't make out what the cards said, but I was sure they had something to do with the wedding. I also noted that the font on each card was rather small, which meant that there had to be a lot of notes.

No wonder Raven spent so much time at the office.

"Because I wanted to talk to him about... the seating?" I struggled to come up with a good lie on the spot and was hoping that a mediocre one would do the trick.

"I don't know. I think he just went home," she answered, still not looking up at me. "Maybe he had a headache or something." She then lifted her head and finally made eye contact. "But if you had any questions about seating, you can just look through the notecards."

"No, thanks." I shook my head. "I'm good with sitting wherever."

"Then why were you trying to talk to Raven about the seating?"

"I... don't know?"

"You're up to something," she said, narrowing her eyes in my direction. "And you better thank your lucky stars that I'm way too busy with this wedding to go into full P.I. mode, or else I'd have you figured out in five seconds flat."

"I'm sure you would, Clarissa. I'm sure you would." It was the last thing I said before I walked out of the wedding hall, heading toward my car in the parking lot.

* * *

I tried calling Raven, again and again, on my drive over to his apartment.

No answer.

Was he mad at me? Why would he be mad at me?

Or maybe it was something worse. Maybe he wasn't mad at me.

Maybe he was just done with me.

The thought haunted me as I parked my car, and it followed me all the way up to Raven's front door. I rapidly knocked on the door, feeling desperate for reassurance, wanting to make sure that him not answering his phone had nothing to do with me.

But when he finally came to the door, the look he gave me was the opposite of reassuring. He stared at me like I was a stranger, like some part of him regretted opening the door, in the first place.

"Raven? Are you okay?" I asked. "Clarissa said that you might have a headache? And you weren't answering your phone, so I wasn't sure what to do..."

"I'm fine," His response was devoid of all emotion. "Was there something you needed?"

"I was just checking in on you."

"That's nice," he replied flatly. "But I'm fine. So, you can go now."

"What?" I couldn't believe how dismissive he was being toward me. "Raven, what's going on? What did I do?"

"Not everything is about you, Sky."

"Yeah, but this obviously is," I responded. "So, just let me in and we can talk about it--"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Stop," I demanded. "Just be honest with me, Raven. What's this about?"

"I'm not going to be your dirty, little secret, Sky."

"What?"

"You heard me," he continued. "I'm not going to let you frame me as some poor, lost puppy who's just following you around."

"Raven, I would never say that about you--"

"I heard what you said to Trent." He scoffed. "And I heard what you said to Eddie, too. Good news, Sky! You don't need to worry about me having a crush on you anymore, because I never want to talk to you again."

"Raven, please," I begged. "Just calm down--"

"You know, I didn't even care that you weren't ready to come out. That you weren't ready to tell anyone about us." As Raven spoke, his eyes welled with tears. "I didn't mind waiting on that part. I really didn't. But... the way you completely stepped away from me... like I was just some loser with a crush on you... like everything is just one-sided..."

"It's not. Raven, I promise, it's not," I insisted. "Please, just let me in and we can talk--"

"How am I supposed to trust you?" His voice broke. "Fuck. I don't even know what you want from me. I don't even know what you want--"

I cut off his response with a kiss, out in the open, where anyone who was watching could've seen.

I didn't care. I just wanted Raven. I wanted him to know that he was all I wanted, and that I wasn't trying to hide him or pretend there was nothing between us. But since it seemed like he was hellbent on ignoring the words that came out of my mouth, I realized that I needed to change my strategy.

Raven seemed to respond to the kiss as he brought his hands up toward my hair, letting his fingers twist into the strands. I deepened our kiss, pushing my tongue between his lips, wrapping my arms around his waist. As our kiss went on, I pulled him even closer to me, close enough for him to feel my hips rocking against his own, playing out a familiar rhythm.

"What are you doing?" he whispered before he went in for another kiss.

"I just wanted to show you..." My words trailed off as my hands traveled from his waist to his ass.

"Show me what?"

"How much I want you," I answered, my mouth pressing against his neck. "How much I've always wanted you. How much I don't want what we have to end."

"I want you, too," he admitted. "But I already told you, Sky, I don't want to be your secret..."

As he spoke, I shifted his frame toward the wall beside his apartment door. We were still fully exposed as I pushed my body even further against him. I reached for his wrists, gently pinning his hands above his head.

And then, I started to grind against him.

He groaned, and as I continued to move my hips, I felt him getting harder in his jeans. I didn't stop, though, Raven's groaning only encouraging me to keep going, making me want to hear him groan just one more time.

"Sky..." he whimpered. "We should... go inside..."

"Why?" I playfully asked, softly biting at his neck. "Do you care if people see us?"

"No... I just..." he whimpered again.

I moved a hand away from his wrists and ran my fingers up his shirt. He looked surprised, until his look of surprise turned into a lusty moan as my fingertips brushed against his nipple.

"Does that feel good?" It was a rhetorical question, but I still wanted to hear his answer.

"Sky..." he whined.

"You didn't answer my question," I replied, letting go of his other wrist. I slipped my second hand beneath his shirt, now using both of my thumbs to gently play with his nipples. I made sure to rub them in time with my thrusts against him, wanting to make him feel so good that his head spun.

"Good... that feels good..." He ended his sentence with a moan.

"You want me to keep going?"

He nodded, and closed his eyes. I watched as he took his bottom lip into his mouth, and gave it a hard bite, as if he was trying to keep himself from getting any louder.

Suddenly, there was a banging noise, somewhere behind me. Instinctively, I moved away from Raven, as I looked around for the source of the disruption.

"Don't stop..." he whined again. "Why'd you stop?"

"You didn't hear that?"

"No," he said as he opened his eyes. "What was it?"

"I don't know -- fuck!" I shouted as something small and gray ran past my feet.

Raven laughed, folding his arms over his chest. "Sorry. I was trying to tell you about the squirrels earlier, but you kept distracting me."

"What the hell? Do they just roam around the apartment complex like that?"

"Only when the lady in 3A puts out food for them, which happens a lot." He shrugged. "The landlords tried to get her to stop, but she's just really passionate about animal rights."

"Okay..." I muttered, completely thrown off by what had just happened. "Uh, maybe you were right, Raven. Maybe we should go inside."

"Agreed." He grinned then lead us inside his apartment.

* * *

As soon as I shut the door behind us, I pulled Raven into my arms again. Except this time, I pulled his shirt over his head, too. Next, my hands went down toward his jeans as I slid them to the ground.

I brought him in for another kiss, my hands resting on his waist.

"Wait. What about...?" he asked, and I knew he was wondering why I hadn't taken off his boxers yet.

"I was getting to that." I grinned, crouching down on the ground. I brought my fingers up toward his boxers, and slowly inched them down his midsection. He moaned at the contact, and I couldn't help but be pleased with myself when I finally saw his hardened length, already glistening with precome.

I leaned forward, my mouth basically salivating at the thought of tasting him again.

But then, I had another idea.

There was another way that I wanted to taste him.

"Get on your couch. All fours," I instructed.

He nodded in response before he walked over to his couch. I quickly followed behind him, and patiently waited until he got into position. Once his hands and knees were pressed against the couch, I pressed my own knees down into the couch, too.

"Is it okay if I..." I started to ask but was suddenly overcome with nerves.

I'd never eaten a guy out before, and I was worried that I was going to suck at it. And since Raven had been so turned on earlier, I didn't want to end up disappointing him now.

I should've thought this through.

"You can do whatever you want to me," he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear.

There was something about his answer that caused my dick to throb.

You can do whatever you want to me.

Was Raven... mine? We still hadn't discussed anything like labels or commitment, but in this moment, it seemed like he was mine.

Or maybe I just wanted him to be mine.

Because it so often felt like I was his, whenever I was around him.

Filled with a renewed sense of confidence, I bent my head down and went to work on pleasuring Raven to the fullest.

* * *

"How does every inch of you taste so good?" I asked, licking the last of him off my left knuckle.

Mere minutes ago, we were both high with pleasure. Now, it was finally time to get back down and simply enjoy the remnants of our sensual activities earlier.

Raven blushed as he eyed me up and down. "Same goes for you."

I chuckled. "I don't know. I don't think I taste this good."

"Yeah, you do," he replied as he moved closer to me on the couch. "Sometimes... I..."

"Sometimes you what?" I encouraged him to finish his phrase.

"It's going to sound stupid if I say it out loud."

"I promise I won't think it's stupid," I said, leaning toward him to kiss him on the cheek. "Just tell me?"

"Fine," he relented. "Um... sometimes... not always... just sometimes... I have dreams."

"Dreams?"

"Dreams about us," he clarified.

"What kind of dreams?"

"I think you know."

"I have no idea." I shrugged. "Are you talking about the kind of dreams where you're able to predict the future? Or the kind of dreams where we've switched bodies or something?"

"Neither." Raven seemed amused by my suggestions. "Are those the only kind of dreams you think people have?"

"No, but those are the only ones that people ever tell me about."

"I'm talking about sex dreams, Sky," he said with a laugh. "Sometimes, I have sex dreams about us. Which is really weird, because I've never had those kinds of dreams about a guy before. And... I don't know. It's like the sex we have is so good that it just... seared itself into my subconscious, too." He looked over at me. "What I'm saying, Sky, is that I like how you taste. In fact, you taste so good, that some part of my brain wants me to always remember how you taste, even when you're not around."

"And what about when I am around?" I asked, my voice low.

"Well, when you are around..." He smirked as he brought his hand down to my pants.

He expertly pulled them down just enough to reveal my erection in my boxers before he carefully moved my boxers out of the way, too.

Suddenly, his mouth was on me.

Fuck.

* * *

After just an embarrassing five minutes later, Raven moved a few inches away from me, just enough so that I was able to see his face. After that, he gave me a wide smile, and I watched as he swallowed my come.

That was hot.

I briefly wondered how long it was going to take for me to get hard again as visions of fucking him against the couch, against the wall, even in the shower if he'd let me, played in my mind.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, leaning against the couch.

"You."

"Ha." He rolled his eyes. "You don't have to lie to me just because I gave you a blowjob. You can tell me the truth."

"I am telling you the truth, Raven. I was thinking about you. I'm... always thinking about you."

An indiscernible look passed over his face, and I waited to see what he was going to say in return.

Instead, he nodded toward the TV in his living room. "Do you want to see what's on TV?"

"Sure," I said, pretending to let the topic drop just as easily as he apparently had, even though a million questions were burning in the back of my mind.