Chapter Eighteen

“Raven?” I asked, walking over to him in the venue’s hallway. “Are you okay? You haven’t been answering any of my calls.”

I hadn’t seen him since the night before at Trent’s bachelor party, and when I’d texted him about coming over, he told me that he was staying with a friend. Although, I wasn’t really concerned about Raven being with someone else. I was more concerned about him potentially shutting me out, trying to keep me at arm’s length with a lie.

“I’m fine,” he answered. “I just… I still have a headache. Sorry. Talking on the phone kind of sucks right now.”

“Why are you lying to me?” I took a step closer to him. “What’s wrong?”

“I told you. I’m fine,” he insisted. “Seriously. There’s nothing wrong--”

“Did I do something wrong, then? Is it me?”

“Hey! Raven!” Clarissa peered around the corner. “We’re ready to start the rehearsal now!”

“Can we talk about this later?” he asked tiredly. “Please?”

“Fine,” I said as I moved out of his way.

And I watched as he turned the corner, disappearing out of my view.

* * *

The wedding rehearsal had gone smoothly so far. It seemed like everyone knew how and when to find their places, the bridesmaids and groomsmen all perfectly rehearsed. I wasn’t as polished as the rest of the groomsmen, but I managed to fake my way through it, taking my cues from Eddie when I had no idea what came next in the ceremony.

And now, it looked like it was time for Clarissa to make her way down the aisle. She appeared right on cue to the music, before she slowly stepped down the walkway.

When she arrived at the altar, Trent was already waiting for her, with a huge grin on his face.

“Is this the part where we say our vows?” he asked.

“I think the pastor’s supposed to speak first.” She grinned back at him. “But, yeah, this is basically the part where we say our vows.”

“Okay, well, I’m not telling you what mine are until we’re actually getting married.”

“Hey! That’s not fair. You already read a first draft of mine.” She pouted.

“All’s fair in love and war.” Trent smirked, leaning toward Clarissa, pulling her in for a kiss.

I looked over at the bride’s side of the wedding and I caught sight of Raven wiping the back of his hand beneath his eye.

Was he crying?

Why was he crying?

I wanted to break away from the other groomsmen. I wanted to run over to Raven and wipe his tears away with my own fingers. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, and I wanted to be the one to fix it for him, too.

I spared a look back at the soon-to-be-wedded couple, who were sharing a laugh with each other as Trent continued to playfully kiss Clarissa all over her face.

That.

I wanted that.

And I wanted it with Raven.

As I stared at the couple, thoughts of exchanging marriage vows with Raven ran through my head. I wondered what it would be like if he and I were the ones standing up here, if we were the ones about to promise our forever to each other.

Because I wanted to be with him forever.

Because I was in love with Raven Williams.

The realization didn’t feel as heavy as I’d imagined it would. I’d never been in love before, but I’d been expecting something that felt like an anchor, pressing against my chest. Instead, admitting to myself that I loved Raven made me feel like I was walking on air, like there’d never been an easier decision in my life, loving him, wanting to be with him.

I needed to tell him. He had to know how I felt about him. He had to know that I--

“Okay, rehearsal is over!” Clarissa called out. “Time for the buffet!”

The room erupted into cheers as bridesmaids and groomsmen alike rushed right out of the room.

* * *

Raven and I were sitting next to each other at the buffet dinner.

I didn’t know if he wanted to sit next to me, but once everyone had already gotten their food, the seat next to me was the only one still available. He hadn’t looked upset about the situation, though, swiftly taking his seat and sticking his fork into his dinner.

But ever since he’d sat down, he was acting like I didn’t exist.

And that walking-on-air feeling that had come over me at the rehearsal now felt like it was a million miles away. I didn’t know how to tell him that I loved him, not when he wasn’t willing to even look me in the face.

So, instead, I nervously reached for his hand underneath the table. I may not have had the words to say to him, but I still wanted to show him some inkling of how I felt about him.

But nearly as soon as my hand met Raven’s own, he pulled his palm away from mine. He went on ignoring me like I was invisible, taking another bite of his food before he offered a passerby a smile.

And as my heart started to break, a familiar song played over the venue’s speakers. It was the same Elton John song that I’d performed at Neon City for karaoke night, “Rocket Man”.

“Dance with me,” I offered.

“I’m not in the mood right now, Sky.”

“Raven. Please?” I murmured. “They’re playing our song.”

He looked like he was about to turn me down for a second time, and I decided to take matters into my own hands before he even got the chance. I gently pulled him toward the dance floor, and he reluctantly came with me.

“Sky, what are you doing?” His tone was lined with suspicion. “Are you really going to dance with me in front of everyone--”

I cut off his question with a kiss.

And even though I heard a few gasps of shock coming from the wedding party all around us, I didn’t care. I was done with caring what other people thought of me, especially what they thought about my relationship with Raven.

The only opinion I cared about in the room was the man I was currently dancing with.

“Sky…” Raven’s eyes were wide as he looked up at me. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure that I want to dance with you? Yeah.” I smirked as I brought my hands down to his hips.

I started to sway us back and forth to the music, as if the rest of the room wasn’t even there. At first, Raven laughed, and then he wrapped his arms around my shoulders as he began to move along to the music.

“You thought I was never going to do it, huh?” I teased.

“Mmhmm. You had me on the edge of my seat.” He smiled. “Although, if you didn’t let everyone know we were dating soon, Briar was going to block your number on my phone.”

“Wait, what? Block me?”

“Yeah, that or throw my phone in the river,” he continued. “Either way, we weren’t going to be talking for a long, long time.”

“Hey!” Clarissa hissed as she approached us on the dance floor. “What are you doing? What was the only thing I asked you not to do when it came to my wedding?”

“You asked us not to upstage you?” Raven guessed.

“And what do you think you’re doing right now?” She scoffed. “How am I supposed to compete with two hot guys finding out they’re gay for each other?”

“Oh. Well, I was gay before I met Sky, so that has to make it less interesting--”

She held up a hand, signaling for Raven to stop.

“What’s going on over here, babe?” Trent was now standing beside Clarissa.

“What’s going on is Sky and Raven are taking attention away from our big day!” she fumed.

But Trent maintained a calm composure. “I wouldn’t worry about it, baby. Everyone here is kind of drunk anyway. I don’t think they’ll even remember what happened tomorrow.”

“And what if they do?”

“They won’t.” He shrugged. “And if anyone tries to bring it up at our wedding, we’ll just kick them out.”

“Oh. Well... I do like the sound of being able to kick out anyone I want from our wedding…” Clarissa’s words trailed off before she looked back at us. “You know what? Never mind. I like this. You two get to be together, and I get full veto power over the guest list tomorrow. This is a win-win!”

“Uh, maybe not full veto power, baby--”

“I need to go find a pen and more of those notecards! I’m going to make a shortlist of everyone I want to leave before the reception.” Clarissa happily danced away from the conversation as Trent hurriedly followed behind her with a worried look on his face.

My gaze followed them before turning my attention back to Raven. We both looked at each other for a second, then broke out in laughter together.

Ah, this. This is what I want.