{112}✔️
Don't Hug Me I'm Scared {Billie Eilish}
A/N: yooo my fave chapter is next chapter.
Dahlia's outfit:
Kit's outfit (bc why not?):
Billie's POV
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"Yo, so what you're telling me is, you've got an air hockey table and a foosball table at your house that you get to play any time you want and you're complaining about it?" Kit shook her head before taking a sip of her water. "Couldn't be me."
"You don't understand! Finneas wants to play all the fucking time!" I groaned. "I don't know why, either. He always loses."
"Yeah, one time while we were at work he mentioned that you always cheat when you guys play, but he didn't mention that you had a table at home, I meanâ"
"I do not always cheat! He just says that because he's pissed that he sucks at a game he plays more than anyone else!" I huffed.
Before Kit could respond, Mrs. Baker paused what she was doing up at the front of the class, turned around and cleared her throat. She raised one of her overly plucked eyebrows and pursed her ashy lips.
"Am I invisible?" She questioned, her shrill voice bouncing off the walls and making me cringe.
"Not in that bright ass shirt." I mumbled.
"I'm up here trying to prepare the class for our health final and you're busy running your mouth. Shut it. Now."
She turned back around and began fidgeting with the projector that she couldn't get to work. We've been in this class for a good twenty minutes now and she's been trying to get the stupid thing to work the whole time. She's not teaching us shit except for how to look like an absolute idiot.
Despite the fact that we haven't officially started yet, she's insisting that we all stay quiet since 'We'll be getting started any minute now.' And most people are sleeping so they don't care, but I don't feel like sleeping so I'm gonna fucking talk.
I wish Dahlia was in here, suffering with me. Mrs. East pulled her and Cadence out of class, though, to work on some stuff for drama club. Lucky.
"That bitch has something stuck up her ass." Kit mumbled.
"No, the problem is that she doesn't have anything stuck up her ass." I grinned, speaking as loudly as I could. I smirked as I saw that I'd caught the wicked witch's attention again. She turned around and placed her hands on her hips, huffing as she stared at me.
"Do you want to come to the front of the class and tell everyone what you were saying?" She spat, expecting to shut me up. I stood up quicker than she could get the sentence out and took long strides to the front.
I turned to face the class and smiled as I looked at all their sleepy faces. "Well, I was just talking to my friend, Kit. She's new here, so I had to fill her in on what's been going on in Mrs. Baker's personal life!"
"Billie, take your seat." Mrs. Baker spat.
"Oh, I don't think I will, Tiffany." I snickered as she gasped at my use of her first name. "So, Kit and I were talking and she said something along the lines of...Oh, what was it?" I tapped my chin.
"That bitch has something stuck up her ass. My exact words."
I nodded and thanked Kit for her contribution. "Right! She said 'That bitch has something stuck up her ass.' And I said that the problem is that Mrs. Baker doesn't have anything stuck up her ass. How could she? Her husband left her for a barely legal college student months ago, and nobody else is dumb enough to get with her! That's what I was telling Kit. You know, before I was rudely interrupted." I smiled.
"You are such a disgusting little disgrace! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Mrs. Baker screamed over everybody's laughter. "You're one of the most disrespectful children I've ever met in my life! How could you speak to adults the way that you do?!"
"I don't speak to adults that way, I only speak to you that way! I'm good in all my other classes, you can ask my other teachers. I only disrespect you because you disrespect me and every other student that steps foot in this class! How many times have you called one of us stupid because we didn't get something? How many times have you threatened to call our parents and tell them that we've done something wrong even if we haven't?! And you always get away with it! Well, you can treat everybody else like shit if you want to, but you're not about to treat me that way, and you're a dumb bitch if you ever thought I'd let you!"
"I am grown, little girl!" She spat. "I can talk to you however I please, and you still need to respect me! Go take your seat, and I won't ask you again."
"No, bitch."
"Take your seat, Billie!" She screamed, stomping her foot. "I am in charge! Me! Not you! Do as I say!"
She was screaming at the top of her lungs, stomping her foot, and her whole face was turning red.
"Yo, lady, don't you think you should calm down or something?" Kit questioned.
"You shut up!" Mrs. Baker screamed as she turned to face Kit. "I didn't ask you to speak! I told you all to be quiet!"
"Chill, shorty. I was just trying to help. Ya veins popping out and you look like you finna go into cardiac arrest." Kit held her hands up in defense as she stood up.
"Sit back down!"
"Nah." She shook her head. "You wanna go to the vending machines, Billie? I want some Doritos."
She strolled out of the room with her hands in her pockets and I shrugged my shoulders before following her. Mrs. Baker screamed after us, telling us that she was writing us up as if we gave a single fuck, and then she slammed the door shut before starting to yell at the kids inside the room even though they'd done nothing.
"Yo, you really spazzed on her." Kit snickered, shaking her head.
"Sorry I got you in trouble. I just love getting under her skin." I sighed.
"That's alright, I didn't like her class anyway."
We stopped once we got in front of a vending machine and she pulled out some money. "You want something?"
"I'm good, thanks." I smiled.
She leaned against the machine as she waited for her Doritos to come out. The machine is pretty old so I knew it'd take a minute or two.
I frowned and pursed my lips as I let out a small sigh.
"What's up?" She asked.
"I feel bad about what happened in there. Not cause of Mrs. Baker. Fuck that bitch. It's just that I know Dahlia would not like how I acted. She tries to keep me out of trouble and everything, you know? I've been pretty good all year."
"It was just one incident," She shrugged. "No big deal. I'm sure she won't be too pissed. Just don't do that again and it'll probably be fine."
"Yeah," I nodded. "Hey, did everything go alright at the party? I didn't get to ask you at the picnic or when I picked her up. It's just, sometimes bad things happen and she doesn't tell me about it because she doesn't want me to worry." I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, everything was fine. She stayed with me the whole night and it was pretty tame. She got drunk and that was about it." She laughed. "I'm sorry about that, by the way. She told me you didn't want her to come and I didn't know that."
"It's fine. I was being too overprotective as usual. At least you were there." I smiled. "Hey, wanna go to subway? We've got some time to kill before fourth period and I'm craving it."
"Sure, but I hate subway."
"Excuse me, bitch?!" I gasped.
***
Dahlia's POV
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I fucking hate Monday's. I wonder if I've mentioned that before?
"Sharpay Evans gave people less trouble than them!" Hudson hissed as he angrily patched up a hat that bowl cut dude and his dumb friends had already managed to rip up. "They're so fucking whiny! 'Why can't I have a lead role?' 'Why does my character have to say this line?' 'Whyâ"
"Why are you complaining instead of fixing my hat, bro?" The dude who'd been yelling random shit during the first meeting cut him off. What the fuck was that kid's name?
"What the fuck is your name?" I questioned shortly.
"Jasper Wesley." He answered. I gasped. "Wait...Are you and Jacob Wesley related?"
"Yeah, he's my brother." He smiled proudly.
Well, gee. That explains it. He happens to be related to one of the most annoying boys in school. Surprise surprise.
"Hey, hurry up with that hat, will you?!" He snapped, pushing Hudson. Hudson winced as he accidentally stuck his finger with his sewing needle.
"Hey!" I growled. "Don't fucking touch him, and stop rushing! You shouldn't have let your dumb friends rip the hat in the first place, and it's not like you need it right the fuck now! The play is in three weeks, not three minutes!"
"Rufus was right about you. You're annoying as shit." He rolled his eyes before turning to walk away. I furrowed my brows and quickly grabbed his arm, stopping him.
He smirked at me. "Aye, I knew you'd come around. Yeah, baby, you can make it up to me. We can go behind that curtain andâ"
"Boy, shut that shit up immediately," I rolled my eyes. "Who the fuck is Rufus? Who is that?"
"You know who he is, you're always on his fucking dick." He chuckled, pointing at bowl cut dude.
I laughed loudly before shaking my head. "You're lying. I know you're lying, you have to be! Rufus? Are you kidding?"
"What's so funny?" Bowl cut dude came over, glaring at me after hearing his name. I bent over, cackling uncontrollably.
"I can't believe this shit! You've been walking around here with a bowl cut, a face tattoo, and now, the icing on the cake! Your name is Rufus?! IâI cantâ" I fell down, laughing hysterically.
"Shut the fuck up!" He yelled.
I waved my hand, trying to calm down, but I couldn't. I laid down on the stage floor and continued laughing. Here this guy is, ugly and hateful as fuck, and his name is fucking Rufus! Like the god damn mole rat! Iâ
"You're about to become a Jane Doe for real." He spat.
I wondered briefly how he knew my middle name, but I couldn't question him on it because I was too busy laughing. I know I look a damn fool, lying in the middle of the stage and laughing hysterically, but I can't look any more foolish than...Rufus!
"I-I gotta go to the bathroom! I think I might've peed a little!" I laughed as I slowly stood up and made my way off the stage.
I laughed as I walked out of the auditorium. I laughed as I walked through the halls and into the bathroom. I laughed as I pissed.
I let out a loud breath as I finally began calming down once I washed my hands. I looked at the clock on the wall and sighed once I realized that it was a little past lunchtime. I guess I'm skipping lunch today since I'm pretty sure Hudson and the twins are and I don't wanna sit alone.
I sent Billie a quick text to let her know that I'd still be in the auditorium so she wouldn't worry about where I was. Then I spent a few more minutes in the bathroom before letting out a small sigh and finally walking out.
I gasped as I was shoved up against a wall right after walking out. I groaned as I realized it was bowl cut dude. Of course.
"Bro, are you serious?" I sent him an unamused look.
"You've been disrespecting me since the day we met. You've been walking around here treating me and my friends like crap. Mouthing off, arguing with us, making your lame ass friends think it's okay for them to do the same. I think it's time you learn your fucking place, don't you?" He questioned.
I yelped as he grabbed me by my hair and dragged me into the bathroom before closing the door."You're fucking insane!" I yelled.
"No, you are!" He chuckled. "Did you really think I was gonna keep letting you talk to me like that? Did you think I was gonna let you keep acting like that in front of everybody without doing anything to you?"
He shook his head as he slowly stepped closer to me. I didn't back away, narrowing my eyes at him.
"I think you're real cute, Doe. You're sexy when you're mad and I think it's adorable that you think you're strong enough to take me. I like when you yell at me too. I can't wait to hear you screaming from underneath me. It might hurt for a bit since you've been on that dyke shit for a while and you're not used to dick. Let's see how strong you really are." He cackled before lunging at me.