{40}✔️

Dahlia's POV

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Yucky.

I felt disgusting after having to touch Kai again, but it had to be done. I said I'd get my revenge and that's what the fuck I'm gonna do. I'm tired of people thinking that they can just mess with me and I won't do anything about it. I'm tired of being looked at as if I'm some weak little girl who can't protect herself or stick up for herself. I need to toughen up, I need to learn how to actually handle shit instead of just ignoring it and hoping it'll go away, that's what Billie said, and thats what I'm doing...Billie.

I haven't seen her in a while and I wonder where she is. I hadn't thought of her while I was with Kai. I hadn't thought of how she'd react to this while I was fucking her...Maybe she'll understand?

This was a spur of the moment type of thing. An idea I came up with while high, and yeah, I'm still fucking high but now I'm thinking a little more clearly and it's clear to me that Billie probably won't be happy with this. But I do think she'll understand. I had to do something to get back at Kai, and this was what I chose to do. She needs to understand what it feels like to be a miserable little ball of anxiety all the time. She needs to feel what I felt when she posted that picture of me and told everyone about what had happened to me.

"Kai?" I mumbled as I finally finished putting my dress back on. It took ages because there's a whole fucking lot going on with it. "Yeah?" She sighed, a large smile on her face as she watched me. She was still lying down, clearly sleepy after what we'd done. I finished with my dress and walked to her side of the bed, squatting down so I could be closer to her face. I smiled at her and stroked her hair, moving it away from her forehead.

"I want you to know that I lied to you." I whispered, my smile growing as hers shrunk. "Hmm?" She hummed. "I lied to you. I don't fucking like you. I never have and I never will. What we had was purely physical and if we're being honest? It wasn't that great. It wasn't good. It was trash compared to what me and Billie have. Me and Billie? When we have sex she makes me cum until I can't move, or breathe, or think. She makes me feel so fucking good, Kai, it's incredible. You? Yikes..." I sighed and shook my head at her. "You're just not that good. Maybe when Jaylen wakes up and the swelling on her face goes down you can practice with her?"

"Wha—How could you say that?" Kai whispered, tears filling her eyes. "What do you fucking mean you lied? Why would you fuck me and then say that? Why would you—"

"So I could get this, silly!" I smiled as I pulled out my phone and opened the video I'd taken of us. I'm not gonna lie, it isn't the best quality, but you can still clearly make out her face and you can damn for sure hear her screaming my name and telling me she fucking loves me. "I think we'll be even when I post this. Don't you?"

"Don't you fucking dare, Dahlia." She spat, standing up quickly. "I said I was sorry—"

"Sorry isn't good enough. You put me through hell!"

"You don't understand! If you post that they're gonna know I'm still—they're gonna send me away, I can't—"

"You should've thought of that before you fucked with me." I growled. She looked at me in disbelief as I stormed out of the room, phone in hand and a determined look on my face.

***

Billie's POV

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I frantically ran all over the place looking for Dahlia. I haven't seen her in like two hours now, except for in the video of her beating the shit out of some girl, which about ten people had shown me already. I don't know where she is, if she's still here, and I don't know if she's okay. The video showed her beating the hell out of the girl and seemingly not getting even a scratch in return, but that's not why I'm worried. The end of the video is what concerns me. Kai had dragged her off somewhere and I have no idea where.

I keep stumbling around and I'm pretty sure I've been running in circles. This fucking house is like a big ass maze and I'm too drunk to remember where I've checked and where I haven't. All I know is that I need to find Dahlia and make sure she's okay.

I'm so damn stupid. I told myself when she first told me that she wanted to come to this party that I'd protect her. I told myself I wouldn't let her out of my sight, I wouldn't let anything happen to her, and now look. I had been way too relaxed, I'd gotten too comfortable. Things seemed to be going well and I let my guard down. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, especially Dahlia, so I figured things would be okay and there was no need for me to worry. I shouldn't have let my guard down. I shouldn't have let her out of my sight. I should've looked for her as soon as I got back from talking to Denver.

"Dahlia!" I screamed in frustration. It seemed like finding her wasn't gonna happen any time soon.

"Yeah?"

I jumped and turned around, my mouth falling open in shock as I saw her standing right in front of me. Well, damn. Had I known it was that easy to summon her I would've done that thirty minutes ago.

"Dahlia, oh my god! Are you okay? Did she hurt you? I saw the fight, people recorded and—oh my god!" I slurred, slinging my arms around her. I squeezed her tightly, breathing in deeply. She always smells so good, even when she smells like alcohol, weed and...sex?

"Did you get high?" I asked.

"Yes." She nodded.

"Did you...Have sex?"

"Yes." She nodded. I pulled away from her and frowned. I'm not sure how to feel. I mean, I know how I feel. Mad as hell. But do I even get to feel mad as hell? We're not exactly together or anything, it's just I kinda figured...I just thought that we'd only be with each other. I thought she only wanted me. I know I only want her.

"It was for a good cause!" She exclaimed. "What?" I mumbled.

She sighed before grabbing my hand and dragging me along with her as she ran outside to the back yard which still didn't have that many people in it.

"I had sex with Kai, look!" She shoved her phone in my hand and I furrowed my brows at her as she clicked on the video on the screen. I stared at it in confusion for a few seconds before realizing that the video she was showing me was of her and Kai having sex. I quickly turned the phone off and shoved it back into her hands. "Dahlia, what the fuck?!" I screeched. "You fucking recorded that? Why the hell are you showing it to me? Are you trying to make me jealous or something? What the fuck did I do to you?!"

"No!" She shook her head. "Billie, I made her think I liked her again so that we could have sex and I could get this video. Now she's gonna know what it feels like to have your private life exposed." She smirked.

I stared at her in disbelief, trying to figure out whether or not she was joking. I hate the fact that it doesn't look like she is.

She kept talking as she realized I wasn't gonna say anything. "Now I can get revenge. I did this so I could show her that I'm not some pushover that she can just mess with and—"

"You fucked her for no reason," I let out a bitter laugh as I shook my head. "You're not posting that video anywhere, you're not showing it to anyone else either. You're deleting it. Now."

"What?" She tilted her head. "No...No, this is how I—"

"Dahlia, if you show that to anyone else you're just as bad as her and you don't want that. I don't want that. You're better than that, or at least I thought you were. You're not some mean girl who can just bully someone and not feel anything—"

"Bully? I'm not a fucking bully, Billie!" She yelled. "I did what I did because it was the only thing I could think to do! I don't know what the fuck else to do!" She cried. She sighed as she wiped away a few of the tears that were starting to trickle down her face hastily. "She made me miserable and I felt like I couldn't do anything about it, now I finally have a way to get back at her and you're telling me not to? Fuck no. I'm posting this."

"No you're not!" I spat, snatching the phone away from her. "Didn't you tell me she's got family that'll send her ass to a conversion camp if they find out about her?"

"I don't give a shit about that! Give me back my phone!" She screamed. It's locked so I can't get in and delete that video, but I need to get rid of it somehow.

"Dahlia, you don't fucking mean that! You can't! That isn't a fucking joke, bro! I know what she did to you was bad, but you can't seriously be willing to put her through that! That could damage her for the rest of her life—"

"Give me my phone, Billie! You're not the boss of me and you can't tell me what to do. I'm gonna post it. I'm gonna embarrass her just like she did—"

"You're just fucking drunk, Dahlia, you'd regret it!" I yelled before throwing her phone down. It cracked and she gasped as I picked it up and threw it into the pool, causing some of the people in there to give us strange looks.

"There. Now you won't have to regret a thing." I rolled my eyes before trying to walk away, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me back before shoving me.

"Did you regret it after you cut her?" She spat. My eyes widened as I stared at her. I didn't know she knew about that. She scoffed when I didn't reply. "You told me to handle it and now I'm trying to handle it."

"I didn't mean to handle it like this. This isn't the way."

She bit her lip angrily before looking toward the pool. "How could you do that to my fucking phone, Billie?!"

"I'll buy you a new one." I muttered.

"How could you do that to me? That was my only way to—"

"How could I do that to you? How could you do that to me?! You fucking hooked up with your ex-fling and then you showed me the fucking video of it like it was no big deal! Maybe it's not to you, but to me it is! I like you, Dahlia. You know that!"

"I like you too, and you know that!" She shouted.

"Really? Do I? I don't fucking know, Dahlia, cause I can't imagine liking someone and still fucking someone else. That's called cheating."

"Cheating?" She laughed, shaking her head at me. "We're not together, Billie, so no it isn't cheating."

She's not wrong, I guess. "I guess you're right." I mumbled. "Fuck you, by the way." I flipped her off before storming inside.

I scanned the room quickly, trying to find Bea. I saw her across her room, drunkenly dancing with some guy. I practically ran over to her and pushed him out of the way.

"Wanna fuck?" I asked quickly. She nodded.

"Always."

***

Dahlia's POV

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Billie's fucking right and I know she is. Posting that video? I could never do that. I did fuck Kai for no god damn reason and I'm pissed about it. What the hell was I thinking?

I'm just so fucking hurt. I haven't felt in control of anything since that night at the football game when everything got turned upside down. I thought I was doing a good job of moving on and getting over it, but it still hurts. I'm still so fucking mad that everyone has seen that picture, I'm still sad about what happened with my mom because of it, I'm still sorry that my family had to find out about it. I'm mad that Kai brought up my past and I'm mad that I've had to think about it more than I ever have. It's killing me and I don't know what to do about it or anything else right now.

I just wanted to move on from all this, but I felt like I couldn't unless I did something to get back at Kai. Now I just feel fucking guilty for even thinking about doing what I was gonna do. I feel bad for taking that video without her permission, I feel bad for the fact that for a brief few minutes I didn't actually care about her homophobic family finding out and sending her to a whole fucking conversion camp, I feel bad that I could think so evilly and be so cold. I feel bad for hitting Jaylen, I feel bad for what I said to Kai and how I played with her feelings.

But as bad as I feel about all of that, nothing makes me feel worse than what had happened with Billie. Seeing the look on her face as she watched that video...Seeing the way she looked at me when I told her I wanted to share that video...She looked so disappointed, so disgusted. She looked at me like she didn't even know me.

I hated that.

I had plans of finding her and apologizing, but as soon as I went into the house I realized that wasn't going to happen. She was the first person I saw. The girl she was making out with was the second.

Billie was standing up, holding onto a girl who had her legs wrapped around her waist as they kissed. It looked like it was getting pretty heated, and I cringed as I watched them, unable to look away.

Billie must've felt me watching her because her eyes fluttered open and she glanced around until her eyes landed right on me. She didn't break the kiss, only deepened it as she stared at me.

I sighed before turning around. Guess I've ruined that.

***

It took me forty minutes to find Kai and I was out of breath and out of patience when I finally did. I was beginning to think she'd gone home, but she was still here, still in the same room we'd been in earlier. I feel stupid for not searching here first, but I didn't think she'd stay.

"Please don't share that video." She sobbed as soon as I opened the door. I sighed as I walked in and closed it behind me. "I'm not." I shook my head. "Billie broke my phone so I couldn't delete it, but I would've if she didn't. I mean...I eventually would've. She talked me out of posting it or showing it to anybody else."

"She...What?" She sniffled. I let out a small laugh before going to sit next to her on the bed. "She hates me. She fucking cut my face up. Why would she do something so nice?"

"Billie's...something." I smiled. "But she isn't mean. She cares about people. She protects people. She hates people that do that type of shit." I looked down, ashamed. She must hate me now. "I'm sorry, Kai. About everything. About what I said to you, about the fact that I recorded that without your permission, about the fact that we had sex again..."

"Jaylen's gonna be pissed." She mumbled. "Thank you."

"What?" I raised my brows.

"Thank you for this. I learned a lot tonight. I learned that I'm over you and that I want to be with Jaylen. I've known her for a long time, way longer than I've known you, but it's just...it's a long story. A while back when I was talking to you about her, I knew that I liked her then, obviously, but I still had my doubts. It felt like I could never get over you...Now I know for sure that I really do like her and that I am over you. The sex was good, but it didn't make me feel the way it used to before she came along." She smiled softly before patting my knee. "Thank you."

"Thank you. If it wasn't for all this happening I wouldn't know how I feel about Billie...I know it's too late and I know I've ruined everything we could've had, but I at least know now that I really like her. I know that I want her and only her. I want her to be my girlfriend. Like...officially. Never thought I would be, but I'm ready for that."

"Maybe there's still a chance," Kai mumbled softly. I shook my head. "I fucked up and she's already moving on. Besides, I don't even know if she really liked me like that anyway. I know she liked me, she made that clear, but I don't know if she wanted to be with me. It's okay, though, it's too late to worry about it now. I'm just happy that I finally know how I feel. I'm never fucking sure of anything...Except her. I'm sure of everything I feel when I'm with her. Billie's an exception. I'm thankful for that."

"I know this is weird coming from me, but I hope you two work it out."

"Thanks." I smiled. "I'm sorry about what I did to Jaylen. I hope you guys are gonna be okay too...I was lying the last time I said that we could put all this behind us. I wanted to get revenge. I'm not lying now, though, I promise. I want to put this all behind us. Start over. If that's okay with you?"

"That's all I want right now." She confessed.

We sat there for a few more minutes before I decided I needed to go. My high is officially wearing off and I'm just getting tired. I wanna go home, and since I know I won't be riding with Billie, I need to see if Caden and Cadence are ready. If not I'll just try to make the best of the rest of the time I'm here. Maybe if they aren't ready I'll snag another cupcake or some candy...Maybe I'll end up doing that either way.

I poked my head in and out of different bedrooms and bathrooms on the second floor before making my way down to the first floor. I'm fucking exhausted, honestly. Looking for people is so tiring. I was jealous of this huge house at first, but now I'm thankful for my decent sized one. At least it doesn't take much searching to find who you're looking for in my quaint little home.

I don't know why the hell I never just text my friends to see where they are. Maybe it's just cause I know they most likely won't see it and answer in less than a fucking hour. Doesn't matter right now anyway, I don't have a phone.

I was almost done searching down a dark hallway, about to head back to the living room, when I heard shouting coming from inside a room. I was gonna ignore it, but then I realized that one of those voices belonged to Denver.

"—This is stupid, dude, nobody besides her saw and who cares if they did? Do you really think someone's gonna try to bully a 6'4, 200 pounds of pure muscle jock like you because he happens to like dudes?!"

"That isn't what I'm worried about and you know it, Jackson! It's the guy I like. If he finds out then—"

"Then he won't give a shit because he doesn't fucking want you!"

"Shut the fuck up, asshole! Listen, next time you wanna kiss me you make sure you do it when we're not in a public fucking place."

"It's not like you were complaining when I pulled you in. You were more than happy to make out with me from what I remember."

"Jackson, for the thousandth time if someone saw—"

"We would've heard by now if someone saw! That was literally hours ago! They'd be talking about it by now if they saw. Calm down and get off my dick about it!"

The bickering continued, but I tuned it out and backed away from the door, practically running back into the living room. Is my brother gay? How long has he known and why didn't he tell me? He knows I wouldn't judge him. He knows none of us would judge him. Who does he like? Was he kissing a guy earlier? Who had seen them?

So many questions ran through my head and I was now even more desperate to find the twins. I won't tell them about Denver because he clearly doesn't want anyone to know, but I need to find them so I can feel at least a little comforted. So much is happening tonight I don't even know how to process it all.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"

The sound of the chants got louder and louder and I followed them until I reached the backyard.

It was a struggle, pushing past the large group of people who were blocking my view, but when I did I wasn't ready to see what I saw.

Caden and Julian going at it like absolute animals. Blood was every fucking where, and they both looked horrible. They must've been out here fighting for a long time.

I looked around frantically, trying to find someone who could give me any clue as to what happened, and my eyes finally landed on Billie. She was standing there in nothing but her bra and her pants, the girl from earlier right next to her with messy hair and her clothes on backward. I cringed but still made my way over to them.

"What the fuck is happening?" I questioned.

"Caden walked in on Julian and Cadence having sex, and then he found out that Cadence had done cocaine because of Julian." Billie explained quickly.

"What?! She did what? Where is she?" I asked quickly.

"Right here." I jumped and spun around quickly, seeing Cadence who looked pretty sober. I hugged her quickly before pulling away and slapping the hell out of her shoulder. "Bro, what the fuck? Cocaine? Are you kidding me? Why?"

"Julian wanted me to." She mumbled.

"So you fucking did it?! For him?"

"Yeah, and I regret it." She rolled her eyes. "He's a jerk and he's a fucking predator."

"What?"

"They're not fighting because me and Julian had sex. They're not fighting because of the cocaine. They're fighting because Julian allowed two of his friends to come in while we were having sex and he was gonna let them rape me. Caden showed up just in time."

My mouth fell open in shock and I saw Billie move closer to put a comforting hand on Cadence's back. Cadence's face was blank, but I knew she was going crazy on the inside.

I can't fucking believe that. I can't believe Julian could ever do something like that, I can't believe anyone could! I can't believe that my friend had almost been raped and I wasn't there to protect her. Thank god Caden was.

"I—I am so sorry, Cadence, I—"

"It's fine. It didn't happen, my brother saved me, and I learned not to be fucking stupid anymore. I'm over it." She huffed. I was about to reply, but I was cut off by a loud yell.

"Hey! Everybody! Come on, we gotta fucking go the police are here and they're arresting people! We gotta dip!"

************

A/N: Forty chapters and 5K reads in less than ??? Three weeks ? Wow I'm gonna shut up about this but I'm really so proud. This is a record for me, I've never updated anything so much in my life. I'm so happy that I became a Billie stan lmaoo I'm so motivated. It's more than just me being able to update this book that I'm proud about. I'm proud in general that I'm able to finally write something and be so excited about it that I can just sit in my room and write all day. I get writer's block so easily and I've started so many books that I haven't been able to finish because I got uninspired and gave up, but I actually have a plan for this book and I'm hoping to follow through with it and actually complete this book. Thank you guys for reading, voting and commenting. I literally check my phone first thing every morning to see if I got any comments because I love talking to you guys and seeing if you like what's happening with the story. I don't reply to all of them (because I'm awkward as shit I'm srry) but I read them all over and over and they all make me smile.

Anyways it ain't even that deep I'm emotional trash all the time pls ignore me. I love yall!