{41}✔️

Dahlia's POV

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The chaos went from being chaotic to being mega chaotic as soon as we heard that. People started running in every direction, trying to get the hell out of there, but I stayed frozen in my spot. There was too much happening.

Julian and Caden are still fighting, Julian's starting to get the upper hand and Caden is bleeding a lot. I have no idea where Denny is or if he's okay, I don't know if he even knows that the police are here and if he does, I don't know if he's gonna be able to get out in time. Cadence was almost raped, I took advantage of Kai, made up with Kai, and Billie hooked up with some girl, none of which should matter right now but it totally does.

I wonder if Cora's doing okay right now? I wonder how she is? Is she bored? Is she sleeping? Is Denver gay? Who does he like? Is my dad on his break yet? I should talk to him more.

My hearts pounding too hard and too loud, everything and everyone is an absolute blur, everything's moving too fast and I just want it to stop. I can't stop other people, but I can stop me, so that's what I'm gonna do.

I let out a small breath before plopping down right on the spot, grunting as I hit the ground. My ass hurts now, but it's fine.

People are screaming and shouting and going absolutely insane, and I can't blame them. Most of us are underage and there's tons of weed here, and apparently cocaine and who knows what else. Nobody wants to have to deal with their parents coming to pick them up from jail because of a damn party.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Get the fuck up!"

I blinked slowly before looking up, only to see a scared looking Billie standing there. She didn't leave already? "Bil?"

"We have to fucking go, dude, that's what you do when the cops come! You run!" She screamed. I shook my head.

"N-No. It's too much going on right now, there's too much—I'm good. It's fine, I'll be fine, just go." I muttered.

She sighed and sat down beside me.

"You're scared, I know. You're panicking, you might be having an anxiety attack. It's gonna be okay, baby, I promise! We have to get out of here, though, okay? We'll be fine when we leave."

"They're still fighting." I pointed at Caden and Julian.

She huffed before getting up and storming over to them. She used all her force and shoved Julian off of Caden, then took out a can of what seemed to be pepper spray and covered her eyes before spraying it at him. He shouted loudly as he rolled around, desperately scratching at his eyes. He crawled over to the now empty pool and let himself fall in.

Billie grabbed Caden and pulled him up as quickly as she could before grabbing his hand and pulling him over to me. I'm pretty sure a little of that pepper spray got on him too, but he's not too phased by it. His face is bleeding badly, though.

"Here He is! No more fighting, right? So come on!"

"Denver—"

"I'm right here!" I heard him yell. I looked up and saw him running over to us. "We've gotta fucking go, they're in the house and they're gonna be out here in like a second!"

I stood up slowly and looked toward the house before walking in the other direction. "We should go to the nearest store. The woods are really close, but they'll be looking there." I mumbled.

"We gotta get to my car! It's parked at the side of the house and I don't think they're gonna be over there just yet!" Billie yelled before grabbing my hand and running. She dragged me along and I tried to keep from tripping over things as she did.

The whole thing was a blur. I think I dissociated. I felt high again, and I felt like I wasn't in my body. I felt as if I was just watching everything happen, no control over my actions. It felt like I was in fucking Bandersnatch.

One second we were running, the next we were in the car, the next we were in a store pretending we hadn't done anything. I looked around and everyone was here. Billie, Denny, the twins...Kai, Jaylen, that girl that Billie was with.

It took me a while to figure out what everyone was saying, but I tried my hardest to focus and I was finally able to understand.

"Gotta get him taken care of. He looks really bad."

"Can't go to the hospital. That's a huge no-no."

"Finneas will know what to do, we can go to my house."

"Are you sure? We don't wanna bother him or cause any trouble."

"He told me to always come to him if I found myself in a situation like this and that's what I'm gonna do. He patched Dahlia up after you had your squad of bitches beat her ass—"

"We already talked about all that, Billie. We settled it."

"You didn't settle shit with me."

"I settled shit with her and that's what matters. You're the one that told me to come with you guys, so—"

"I'm stupid as shit. I should've let your ass get caught. Your slut too."

"I like Billie's house." That's what I added to the conversation. They got quiet as they turned to look at me, shocked that I'd spoken, I guess.

"She likes my house. We're going to my house." Billie mumbled before pushing past all of us and heading outside again.

Then we were back in the car. Then we were in Billie's house. Then Caden was on the same kitchen counter that I'd been on a few weeks ago, Finneas patching him up just like he did for me.

"I'm sorry about this, man," Denver mumbled to him. Finneas shook his head and let out a small laugh. "I seriously don't mind. I mean, don't get me wrong, I wish you kids would stop hurting yourselves, but I don't mind helping. I'm glad Billie knows she can come to me when she has problems like these."

Denver's face fell when Finneas said 'kids' and I sighed. He likes boys. Yeah. He likes Finneas. Yeah.

When he was done with Caden he moved on to helping Jaylen, giving her some pills and asking her what hurt.

"Come with me." Billie dragged me away without waiting for a response. Things were clearing up now. Being around all those people had made me shut down, but now it's just me and her and I can think clearly again, though that's not great because I'm just thinking about how much I fucked up tonight.

"That girl with the white hair. I fucked her." She told me once we were in her room. I nodded. She knows I know that. "Made me realize something."

I looked down and let out a small sigh, squeezing my eyes shut. I bet she was better than me in bed. I bet Billie wants her instead.

"Billie, I'm sorry." I cried. "I fucked up everything. I fucked up!" I know she doesn't want me touching her right now, but I'm fucking selfish. I lunged at her, bringing her in for a tight hug. She didn't wrap her arms around me, and I'd expected that but it still hurt. I kept hugging her. "What I did was wrong and I can't believe I was willing to do something so terrible to Kai just to get back at her and even worse than that, I can't believe I did that to you. I should've never been with her when I knew that we had something going on. I shouldn't have done that to you. We weren't together officially, but that doesn't mean shit. It was still cheating. I'm sorry I fucked this up." I sobbed.

"Be my fucking girlfriend, dude."

I wasn't expecting that.

I sniffled and pulled away from her before clearing my throat and wiping my tears. "Excuse me?"

She laughed. "How come we have to do dumb shit just to have these little milestones? We've gotta cut that shit out." She sighed. "I really like you, Dahlia. I really like you. I've known that for a while, but I was too chickenshit to tell you. I thought I'd scare you away or something, and maybe I still will, but I have to tell you how I feel. When I was with Bea, it felt so wrong. I hated every second of it and, I mean, she's really cool, but she's not you. Not even close. And tonight when I found out what you did with Kai...That shit hurted." She joked. "What hurt the most about it was the fact that I felt like I wasn't allowed to feel hurt. Because we weren't actually together. I wanted us to not have any labels because I thought it'd make it easier, but that's not working. I really like you and I want us to be like...A thing. An actual thing. I want to call you mine. I want everyone to know that you're mine. I want to know nobody can be with you in the way that I can. Dahlia, I'm not perfect, I'm not even good, but dude...I could be good for you. I swear to god, Doe, I'll do anything for you. I'll be the best girlfriend ever, just give me a fucking chance and I'll fucking show you. Please just—"

She was rambling now, so I grabbed her waist and pulled her closer, staring at her for a few moments before putting my lips on hers. She tastes like beer and m&ms and that's gross but it's perfect.

The kiss was slow and sweet, and needy, and perfect and it was the same as all the other ones, but also really different. I love this. I like her.

When we pulled away from one another, I smiled at her before intertwining our fingers. "I'm still sorry for everything that happened. You're totally right, we need to figure out how to have moments like these without having to go through all the bullshit." I laughed quietly. "You're already good, Billie. You are perfect. I'm gonna be good for you."

"We're good." Billie smiled. "So good."

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A/N: No fucking joke, I listened to Xanny the entire time I was writing/editing this...Do y'all know how long that took? Like 45 mins which I guess isn't that long but

The song

Was on repeat

The whole time.

And I'm still not sick of it I—