{50}✔️

Dahlia's POV

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"I can't believe I can drive now!" I cheered, picking my license up out of the cup holder. Billie snatched it away from me and put my hand back on the wheel again.

"I can't fucking believe it either!" She whimpered, clinging to the sides of her seat. I rolled my eyes at her and flipped her off. I drive fast, yeah, but I'm a really good driver.

Staying home and sleeping all of today was canceled because my darling brother and Julia decided they wanted to have loud sex all night and early this morning. When I heard them start up again at noon, I called Billie and asked if she wanted to hang out today. Thankfully, she did.

We went to my favorite thrift store and spent like three hours in there. I'd been saving a lot of money for my next visit and now I've got a shit ton of shit that I can't wait to make something cool out of.

I'm gonna see if I can work with Aunt Josephine like Cadence suggested, and I'm gonna have an 'interview' with her next Friday, but I'm also gonna start my own little Etsy shop. I have a lot of old clothes that I made but don't wear anymore and don't wanna throw away, so I'll start selling those first.

Billie demanded that we take all the stuff I'd bought to her house so she could watch me 'make my magic' and I made no arguments. As long as I could stay out of my own house for a few more hours, I don't care what I do.

"Slow down, there's a speed bump coming up in a few." She yelled.

"It'll be fine."

"Dahlia—"

"I'm kidding!" I slowed down slightly so that I was doing the actual speed limit. She didn't seem satisfied with the pace, but I didn't care. It's not like I'm going ninety miles an hour.

"We still have ten minutes until we get to my house. I can't do this, pull over." Billie shook her head as she started undoing her seatbelt. I wanted to argue, but this is her car so I decided against it. I let out a small sigh and then slowed down, pulling over on the side of the road.

"Billie, you're ridiculous."

"You drive life Michael Phelps swims."

***

"That's sick!" Billie exclaimed as she stared in awe at the black hoodie in front of us. I laughed loudly as she stared at the hoodie, tilting her head in confusion as she looked back and forth between it and the paper in front of us.

Billie knows nothing about making clothes, apparently. If this is how she reacts to iron-on transfer paper I can't imagine how she'd react to what happens when I start up my sewing machine.

"People are gonna buy the fuck out of your clothes!" She grinned as she picked the hoodie up and put it on. "I'll pay you $50 for this."

"No, you will not! I wanna keep that." I pouted. It's got a picture of Justin Bieber's face on it and it looks really cool.

She gave me the puppy dog eyes and I sighed before begrudgingly nodding. "Fine, keep it. It's free."

"You're the best."

"Yeah, Yeah, suck my dick," I grumbled before picking up the dusty looking denim jacket. It was only thirteen bucks, and it's gonna look really dope when I get done with it. "I'm gonna dye it neon blue and then I'm gonna put a lot of neon green embroidery—" Billie had wandered over toward her bed and picked up her phone once again.

I frowned as I quit talking and turned back to look at the stuff sprawled all over the floor. I don't wanna be nosy or anything, but she's been on her phone pretty much all day and that's weird because usually when we hang out she makes it kind of a point to stay off it. Not that I mind her being on it, it's just odd.

I don't know who she's talking to, and I can't tell if they're friends or if it's someone bothering her. One second she's throwing her head back in annoyance as she reads the messages, the next she's giggling loudly.

I'm a very curious person and not knowing who she's talking to is killing me, but I don't wanna just come out and ask. She knows I notice her on her phone more than she usually is and she hasn't said anything. If she wanted me to know who she was talking to she would've mentioned it by now.

But why doesn't she want me to know who she's talking to? Isn't that weird? Shouldn't I know who she's talking to?

I shake my head at myself. I'm being ridiculous. I don't know for a fact that she doesn't want me to know who she's talking to and I shouldn't assume that. And she isn't required to tell me everything.

I looked over at her as she let out a loud laugh and then cleared her throat, looking up and sending me a small smile before glancing at her phone again. I looked away quickly.

Maybe she's looking at memes? No, she usually shows me whenever she's looking at memes. It's adorable, really. She makes it a point to show me every single one, or she saves them all and sends them to me so I can see them later if I don't wanna look at them right then and there.

But what if she doesn't wanna show me her memes anymore? What if she is laughing at memes and she doesn't care to show me anymore because she doesn't feel the need to? What if she's showing them to someone else and that's why she's not showing them to me?

Jesus Christ, it's not like she's required to show me memes, but damn, it's nice when she does.

What if she's not even laughing at memes? What if she's laughing at something someone said? But who said something to make her laugh like that?

She's allowed to fucking laugh, Dahlia, Jesus. I need to get myself together, this is stupid.

"Hey, I'm gonna go use the phone real quick, okay?" She asked. I nodded and smiled at her, watching as she left the room.

When she was gone I sniffled, sighing as I realized that I was about to fucking cry. Why? Literally why? For what fucking reason? I'm so damn emotional all the time.

It's just...She never needed to leave the room before to make a phone call. She always answered her phone right in front of me because I mean, why the hell wouldn't she? Plus, it was usually only Finneas calling her. I guess now she's friends with Bea so maybe Bea is—

But why would she have to leave the room just because Bea's calling? Is this bitch fucking cheating on me with Bea?

Or maybe she's not cheating and they just have inside jokes they tell over the phone that she doesn't want me to hear? That thought made my tears roll faster. I love inside jokes. I wanna be inside the inside jokes.

She's not cheating on me with Bea, though, I guess. Bea doesn't seem into her and plus, she's got Luna. She seems to have a really big crush on her.

I groaned and placed the palms of my hands on my temples. Billie and I haven't been together for a good three weeks and I'm already freaking out over dumb shit. I need to get my shit together before I scare her away.

I don't wanna fuck this up. Not to be dramatic, but Billie is legit one of the best things to ever happen to me. Not only is she an amazing girlfriend, but she also happens to be an amazing friend to me. I've never connected with anyone so quickly before, and I feel like I can talk to her about any and everything. She always makes me feel better, even if it's just by being in the same room with me. When I'm around her I'm so much happier. I just don't wanna ruin that.

I feel like I'm under so much pressure, though. This is my first real relationship and I don't wanna fuck it up and I think about that almost 24/7. I'm so comfortable with Billie, but I'm also always obsessing over every little thing I say or do with her. I just...want to keep her. I want to be with her forever.

Ew. Wow. No. That's like...A really deep thought. That's what people in love be thinking—I'm not like—I'm not in love with her so I don't need to be thinking like that.

I sighed as I wiped my eyes quickly and got up to head to the bathroom. I do not need her coming in here and seeing me having a breakdown in the middle of her floor right now.

I was about to walk into the bathroom when I realized she was in there talking. I bet she's in there taking a shit while she's on the phone. She does that sometimes.

I cringed and then laughed before starting to head back to her room, but I stopped when I heard her talking.

"No—No she isn't you...She isn't you and she never could be."

Well...That's pretty sus. I wanted to walk away, not wanting to eavesdrop, but I needed to hear something that wasn't so damn odd before I could go.

"That's what you're not understanding, dude, she isn't gonna replace you! I don't want her to."

Do not jump to conclusions, Dahlia. Do not.

"I'm not fucking cheating on you, what do you even mean?!"

"Luna, baby, listen to me—" Luna?! What the fuck? The same girl from yesterday? Bea's date Luna?

"Yeah, I agree, okay? I think what we had was special while we had it, but it's over now. She's not exactly replacing you because—no listen—"

I felt my heart drop as I waited to hear more, but she'd gotten quiet. It was a few more minutes before I heard her voice again.

"Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I really do miss you too. I do. You were my first everything and I really loved you...No I—I don't care about her anymore. That's over and done with now and I've moved on. I don't even wanna think about it anymore. I was stupid to think I could be with—Yeah the whole thing was stupid."

Well, I wasn't gonna stick around and listen to the rest after hearing that. I sighed as I walked away from the door and back to her room, drying my face and trying desperately to make it look like I wasn't crying.

Billie came back to her room a whole fifteen minutes later, and it looked like she'd been crying too. I smiled and picked up my bags. I'd shoved everything back into them while I waited for her to show up again. "Hey, I'm sorry to cut this short, but can you take me home? My dad's asking for me."

"Isn't he at work?" She tilted her head. I nodded quickly, clearing my throat. "Ugh—Yeah, Just um—he wants me to do some stuff around the house." I shrugged.

"Okay...Are you okay? Your eyes are a little puffy."

"Yeah, I'm great—" I cleared my throat again as my voice broke. "Think I'm catching a cold or something."

"Right...Okay, come on then." She smiled.

I followed her out of her room and back outside. Once we were both in the car I let out a little breath I didn't know I was holding.

I don't know how to handle any of this. She's gonna break up with me soon. Not now, for whatever reason, but soon. I just need to not be around her for a while and maybe I can come to terms with it.

I'll be okay without her. It's not like we've been together for a long time anyway. We've only known each other for like four months anyway. It'll be fine.

"Are you sure you're okay, D?" She asked softly.

"I'm fine."