{62}✔️

A/N: So I finally quit playin and made myself a Billie stan acc. Follow me if u want to talk about Bil or anything else 🖤

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Dahlia's POV

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Day three of cabinchella, as Billie likes to call it, is gonna be spent Christmas shopping. The closest mall is an hour away, but we don't mind that. I love long drives, an hour is nothing to me. Billie happens to be impatient as shit when it comes to riding in cars though, so she's not that happy about it. Or maybe she's not happy because she actually has to drive her own car this time.

We're all gonna have a shit ton of stuff to bring back with us. Wrapping paper, gift bags, and actual presents, plus anything we should happen to find and want to buy for ourselves while we're shopping. So, we're bringing six cars and that means we need six drivers and Billie is one of them.

"If you'd let me drive, you wouldn't have to." I told her once again. She stopped whining then and rested her head on the steering wheel as she waited for my dad to tell us it was time to go.

Josephine is a very organized person, and so figured out how we could all get each other gifts without anyone seeing what they're supposed to be getting. We've all got big black bags that we can fill with the gifts once we buy them, and we've all got our names written on those bags. Simple but effective.

"Isn't she so smart?" I'd asked my dad, bumping my hip against hers and batting my eyelashes at him. He'd bashfully agreed before putting his head down so that his hair would cover his face and we couldn't see his blush.

They're so gonna get married one day.

"All I want for Christmas is you!" Gigi scream sang, his thick accent making the song sound hilarious. His singing is still better than Cadence's. She was literally yodeling the song.

"Baby, what's up?" Billie questioned once again as she reached over to grab my hand. "You were crying last night. I heard you. Your face is a little puffy today, you haven't been saying that much. I just know somethings wrong. Tell me what it is."

"Something is wrong," I whispered. "Somethings really wrong, but I can't tell you what. It's something to do with Denver and I can't tell you what it is because I told him I wouldn't tell anybody, but somethings wrong. I just want this trip to continue being amazing, though, okay? I can't lie and say I'm fine, but I'm being completely honest when I say I will be. I will be fine and everything will be fine. I just wanna continue enjoying this little vacation, though, okay?"

She bit her lip and ran her thumb over my knuckles before leaning over to kiss me. "I'm trusting you, baby. If you say you're gonna be fine, you're gonna be fine. Just please let me know if you ever feel like you aren't, okay?"

I nodded. She held out her pinkie finger and tilted her head, sending me a look. I let out a quiet giggle and hooked my own pinkie finger with hers.

"You're gonna be just fine, baby." She told me softly.

I know I am. How could I not be when I have her?

"Josephine and your dad are the only two not out here. I wonder if that means they're fucking?" Cadence asked a few minutes later.

I choked on my spit and turned to look back at her quickly. "That is the most disgusting—"

"It's gross, but it's our goal!" She defended herself.

***

"Billie's gonna lose her mind when she sees these." Bea smirked as she held up the custom made rings we'd all pitched in to get her. "They're fucking dope."

"Thank you guys for helping me. I don't think I would've been able to afford them by myself." I smiled.

"It's no problem. I don't think I would've gotten her anything if you hadn't told me I could help get this gift. I never know what to get her for holidays and plus, I think it would've been awkward anyway." Luna shrugged. "Speaking of not knowing what to get anyone, I know we don't know each other that well, but I'd still like to get you a gift. I hate having to ask, but what do you think you'd want?"

"You don't have to get me a gift," I said quickly. "I really appreciate the thought, though."

"You're one of those people." Bea rolled her eyes. "We're going to get you something either way so you might as well just give us some ideas before we decide to get you some absolute bullshit."

I hummed as I thought about what to tell them I wanted. I honestly don't know. I literally never know what I want.

"A necklace!" I gasped, pointing at a nearby jewelry store.

"You want a necklace? I've never really seen you wear any jewelry." Bea tilted her head.

"No, not for me. Aunt Josephine! I didn't know what to get her, but I think a necklace would be nice. She likes jewelry."

"Dahlia—" Luna whined, stomping her foot.

"Oh, hush!" I grabbed each of their hands and dragged them toward the jewelry store. If I can find a nice necklace with a 'J' on it I'll be happy. It's pretty basic and I'll honestly be shocked if Josie doesn't end up getting at least three of these, but I've got my mind set on it now so I'm gonna get her one.

We've all been shopping for like four hours now and the only people I still have to get a gift for are my dad and Billie. I already got Billie some rings, but that's something that is coming from Bea, Luna and I together. I wanna get her something that's just coming from me, too.

I just don't know what. She's already got so many damn clothes and so many chains she can barely keep up with them all. She has hundreds of ugly ass shoes too.

I think I'm just going to make her a gift basket full of nasty ass vegan food that she'll hopefully enjoy and buy her a gift card to someplace that sells burritos.

I wish I could do something more special for her, but I literally just can't figure out what to do and I don't have enough money to buy her anything super expensive.

"Do you think she'd like this one?" Luna questioned as she held up a gold necklace with a large J on it. I shook my head. "She's more of a silver person."

***

By the time we got back from shopping, we were all already exhausted, but we still had to wrap the gifts. We all went into different rooms and started wrapping each other's gifts. I left the door to the room I'd gone in cracked so that I could hear the Christmas music blasting throughout the house.

I was having a good time, honestly, humming to myself as I wrapped gift after gift in the adorable wrapping paper I'd found. Then I started thinking about Denver and everything he'd told me yesterday.

I just kept imagining what it must've been like for him having to sit there and watch mom have sex with different men. Watching her cheat on dad while he was hard at work and having to pretend he knew nothing. Being forced to sit there and watch and listen as his own mom had sex.

I can't even think about it without feeling sick, I can't imagine having to actually go through it. I just can't believe my own mom could be so vindictive. I could never do that to another person, I could never put another person through that shit, especially not my own child. Not a child that I carried for nine months and then pushed out of me.

She was supposed to love us, take care of us, be our best friend. She was supposed to be the woman that we could go to to talk about anything. She was supposed to hold our hands and be by our sides, she was supposed to wipe our tears for us, she was supposed to help us get back up if we fell down, she was supposed to be our strength and our peace.

There was no peace with her around.

I feel bad for ever feeling bad about what she put me through now that I know how much she put Denver through. I know I shouldn't. She was a bully to all of us, but still. I can't think of anything that she did to me that was more scarring than what she did to Denver.

He's so damn strong and I'm so proud of him. I'm so happy that he's managed to keep on going after having to go through that. I'm happy that he's getting help soon. I'm happy he told me about it.

I'm really scared, though. I don't wanna be anything like my mom, ever, but I just keep thinking what if I do turn out to be like her? What if I have a child and I treat it like shit? What if I put it through all this shit too?

I sighed as I taped up the last gift. The bed was covered in gifts and I'd definitely need help carrying them all down and putting them under the tree, but I don't feel like talking to anyone right now.

I grabbed a pillow off the bed and a blanket from the closet and laid down on the floor by the door. I tried to stop myself from crying anymore as I listened to everyone laughing downstairs as they began to come out of their rooms and take their gifts down to the tree, the happy Christmas music still blaring loudly.

There's nothing worse than being sad around Christmas time.

I turned on my side and decided I'd take a little nap. Maybe when I wake up I'll feel better. Maybe sleep will clear my head.

***

Billie's POV

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I snorted as I watched Caden and Cadence slap the hell out of each other's arms. We're all baking cookies and cake and Caden kept licking the frosting off the spoon while we were trying to ice the cake, so Cadence slapped him. Then he hit her with his spoon, and now they're having a slap war.

I didn't try to break it up because it was funny and since Cadence was distracted with him she didn't notice me eating all my vegan frosting.

"Fucking—OW! Bitch!" Caden yelled as Cadence stomped on his toe. She stepped back to avoid having the same done to her and frowned as she examined her red arm. "Fucking stupid ass bitch, that shit hurt!" She growled.

"You should've just sat there and ate your food!" He yelled. "No, no. Correction: You should've just sat there and let me eat my food."

On the other side of the kitchen, setting the table up, was Mr. Doe and Josephine. I smirked as I noticed them flirting once again. Josephine's hand was resting on Mr. Doe's arm and he was redder than Santa's suit, smiling largely as he looked down at her.

I'd like to pretend I'm not in on Cadence and Dahlia's scheme to get those two together, but I can't lie, I want it to happen, and maybe I'm the one who suggested that they go set the table together. What about it?

"This is really good!" Liza winked, licking a long strip up her spatula as she stared right at Cora. I cringed and let out a disgusted sound as I stepped in front of Cora, causing Liza to back up.

"Sorry, shorty, but you gotta calm that shit down."

"Stop cockblocking." Cora hissed from behind me. I reached back to slap her arm. "You guys are like twelve. Keep it PG."

I walked away from them, rolling my eyes. I decided I'd go up and check on Dahlia since I haven't seen her in a few hours.

She should've been down here a while ago. Everyone had already finished wrapping their gifts and getting them under the tree already, and I know she's probably been finished too. I just think she needed some alone time, so I haven't checked on her.

I really hope she's okay. I wish she could tell me what's going on with her, but I understand why she can't. I just wish I knew how to make her feel better. I hate when she's upset. She's too amazing to be sad.

It took me ages to figure out which room she was in because she wasn't in ours and there were a lot of rooms in this damn cabin, but I eventually found her. I furrowed my brows as I saw her lying on the floor.

I stepped inside the room and shut the door behind me before squatting down beside her and shaking her softly.

She let out a few grumbles and pushed her face into her pillow, causing me to laugh as I shook her again.

"Hmm?" She hummed as she opened her eyes. "Why are you shaking me?"

"Why are you on the floor?" I questioned.

"I didn't wanna move all those gifts off the bed." She mumbled tiredly. I laughed and shook my head at her before pulling her blanket up and sliding under it, pulling her close to me.

"Billie, you're gonna be sore if you sleep on the floor with me."

"I don't care," I mumbled, kissing her ear. "If you're gonna sleep on the floor, I'm gonna sleep on the floor."

"You should be out there enjoying with everyone else."

"So should you, but you're sad right now so we're just gonna hold each other while we sleep on the floor. Okay?"

She sighed and turned to face me, burying her head in my boobs. I laughed a little before biting my lip. She's so damn gorgeous all the time. I don't know how she does it.

"I don't deserve you. You're too good." She mumbled.

"I feel the same way about you. Go to sleep, my love."