{72}✔️

Dahlia's outfit:

Dahlia's POV

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"There will be no eating in my car, no drinking in my car, no roughhousing in my car, no slobbering in my car, no kissing in my car, no farting in my car, no burping in my car, no hand holding in my car, no nasty shit in my car, no flirting in my car, no cute shit in my car, no sweating in my car, no cursing in my car because it brings bad energy, no negativity in my car, no talk about witchcraft in my car, and nobody in my car controls the radio in my car besides me because this is my car and in my car we listen to what Dahlia wants to listen to." I placed my hand on the passenger seat as I turned to look at Cora, Liza, and Matthew.

"Dude, What the fuck?" Billie piped up from the passenger's seat, her voice muffled by half the burrito she'd shoved into her mouth. I sighed and turned to look at the children in my backseat again. "All rules apply to everyone in here except for Billie because she's not great at following rules and also she's hot. Anyone who breaks the rules who isn't Billie will be promptly kicked out and left on the side of the road. If anyone thinks I'm kidding, I eagerly invite you to test me. This is a new car. I love this car. I love this car far more than I love any of you. I'd die for her. Angelou is the best car I've—"

"Angelou? You named her Angelou?" Liza scrunched up her face. I shot her a look. "Yes, I did. I named her after Maya Angelou. One of the strongest women who ever set foot on this trash ass planet. Is there a problem, Lizzie?"

"You know my name," She narrowed her eyes. "Why are you being a hard ass? You used to be nice."

"I am nice," I smiled. "But since I'm escorting my little sister on this date with you two it's my job to scare you guys so you don't think it's okay to hurt her in any way, shape or form. Before we get going, we have a lot to talk about. Let's start with this; there will be absolutely no inappropriate touching—"

"I thought you said she was cool." Matthew whispered in Cora's ear. Cora glared at me and mouthed for me to stop embarrassing her. I most certainly will not. If I don't embarrass her how the hell else am I gonna have fun on this date?

"Don't cut me off again, boy, or you're gettin' the boot." I spat. I locked all the car doors so they wouldn't think of escaping and then continued on with my speech. "None of you are to get too close. There won't be any lip locking, neck kissing, or anything else even remotely nasty tonight, do I make myself clear? That means, Lizzie, you need to remove your hand from my sister's thigh. Now."

She slowly did as told and sighed as she looked out of the window.

"Now, I've been updated on what the situation is between you three. You both want Cora and she's an indecisive little shit head who can't choose who she wants. That's all good and fine, it's none of my business, but let me make it clear right now that if either of you should happen to make my sister cry or hurt her in any way while she's dealing with y'all, you will pay the price."

"Alright, Sergeant Doe, can we get going now?" Cora hissed. I sighed. I wish I could keep this going since Cora's clearly embarrassed, but I don't really know what else to say.

"Billie, would you like to add anything?" I looked at her and she stared at me blankly for a moment, slowly chewing up the rest of her burrito. I bet she'd tuned that whole thing out.

"Ugh—um...yeah, hurt her we'll kill you and ugh...Wear your seatbelts, kids. Trust me. She's driving and you're gonna need them."

I glared at her before handing her my phone so she could find something to play. "Right. Let's get this show on the road, people."

We're going to the movies and then to the fair for this little date. I'm gonna be honest here, I'm really excited. Billie and I have never been to the movies together before and going to a fair with her will be so much fun! I cannot wait to ride all the rides with her!

The twins are gonna meet us at the fair with Ken and Gigi too, so that'll be fun. We invited Bea, but she didn't wanna be a third or...technically tenth? Wheel. She's still really down about Luna and I feel so bad about that. I wish Luna wouldn't have used her like that.

We're going to have to sit through some bullshit rom-com before we can get to the fun part of the night, though. Since this is Cora's date I obviously had to let her pick out everything we did and, unfortunately, she loves a good romantic comedy.

The drive to the theater wasn't that long and soon enough we were at the counter buying our tickets and snacks. We're about five minutes late, but that's good. The movie probably hasn't actually started yet. It's probably still all movie trailers being shown right now.

"What do you want to eat, baby?" Billie asked after the three of them had gotten their snacks. They headed toward the room where the movie was being shown while we stayed in line.

"I'm supposed to be dieting and I already know I'm gonna fuck it up when I get to the fair, so, nothing for now." I sighed.

She narrowed her eyes at me and then turned to look at the guy behind the counter. "Popcorn, lots of salt on them please, skittles, and a large Sprite."

He nodded and began making the stuff while I bumped my hip into hers, pouting. "You're mean."

"You don't need to diet, baby, you're already skin and bones. You look really good. You should just enjoy yourself!"

"Yeah, that may be, but movie theater food is expensive!"

"I'm rich." She stated.

"Well, nobody's too rich to sneak food into the movie theater, Billie." I scoffed.

"I agree." The guy said as he handed us the food. I laughed as Billie paid him.

When we got inside the theater, the actual movie was just starting off. We sat in the very back of the theater, and I was glad because we had the perfect view of the three love birds.

"They better not try anything," I grumbled before shoving some popcorn into my mouth. "My baby sister is just that. A baby."

"Somebody's protective," Billie smirked. "You know you shouldn't be so worried about them and what they're up to, though. You should be worried about us and what we're doing." She winked. I tilted my head at her, and she laughed. I probably look like a chipmunk with all this popcorn stuffed in my mouth. "What? You don't think we're just gonna sit here and watch this movie that neither of us cares about, do you?" She questioned.

"Well, what else are we gonna do?"

"Make out." She grinned.

***

So, that was a good two hours. A really good two hours. I almost hated leaving the theater despite the fact that I'm so excited for the fair.

"Your hair is messed up." Cora crossed her arms over her chest and smirked at me. I narrowed my eyes as I looked her over. "So is yours."

I'd been too busy with Billie to pay any attention to her. She shrugged and climbed into my car and I rolled my eyes before doing the same. Everyone else was already in, so I drove off as soon as we were both buckled up.

The fair is just a ten-minute drive away from the theater, thankfully.

"The twins texted me and said they're already there waiting for us," Billie told me. "And Cadence sent me a video of people protesting because the food truck is out of hot dogs...Because Caden bought most of them."

"Are you joking?" I laughed. She shook her head and I rolled my eyes. That boy is so damn greedy. I don't know how he stays so skinny. He's gonna regret eating all that if he rides anything.

It took a few minutes to find a parking spot once we got there because it was completely crowded, but once I did, we all hurriedly got out and practically ran to where the twins said they were. We greeted them, Ken and Gigi, and then we all started walking toward the ticket booth. We're getting bracelets so we don't have to worry about buying more tickets if we use them all.

When it was our turn to pay, Billie bent down to tie her shoe and I hurriedly paid for us. I grinned proudly as the lady working the booth tied my bracelet around my wrist and then did the same for Billie.

"I'm gonna get you for that." She grumbled. "Thanks, baby."

"You bought me this ring and I know it must've been expensive as shit. I'm just trying to pay you back." I shrugged as I held up my hand and showed off my ring proudly.

"You pay me back every day by just being you. And also, by fucking me."

"You make me feel like a prostitute sometimes, you know?"

"You're welcome."

We walked into the fair and Cora and her dates ran off in one direction while Billie and our friends headed toward a huge ass roller coaster.

"Wanna ride that first?" I asked. Everyone agreed except for Billie who was silent. "Bil?"

"Huh? Yeah, that looks...Sick." She looked down and cleared her throat and I smirked.

"Baby, if you're scared to ride something just tell me, okay?"

"I'm not scared of shit." She shook her head quickly. "I'm not a pussy."

"I don't know, babe, you are what you eat." I cackled at my own joke before grabbing her hand and pulling her into the line.

She stared at the ride, biting her lip nervously the entire time we stood in line. I told her we could just do something else every other minute, but she refused.

When it was our turn to get on, I practically had to drag her on. "It's okay, Billie, it's not gonna last for more than, like, five minutes. We're just gonna go up and then down real fast. That's it." I told her as the worker made sure we were strapped in.

He pulled on Billie's seatbelt a few times, making sure it was tight. "Gotta make sure those are on good. We don't want another incident like last time!" He snickered. Billie gasped and looked at him with wide eyes.

"I'm joking, Ms." He grinned before walking off.

"What if he's not joking?!" She yelled. I shook my head at her as she grabbed my hand and squeezed the hell out of it. "He was totally joking. If something bad had happened last time we wouldn't be on this ride right now. It takes ages to clean blood out of a roller coaster, it would've taken much longer for them to get the ride back up—"

"Oh my god!" She screamed.

The ride started a few minutes later and it honestly wasn't anything too bad. It was just a regular roller coaster, a little boring honestly, but Billie was freaking the fuck out the whole time. She was basically the only one on the ride who was actually screaming, other than the little kids. It was adorable.

***

"Are you sure you don't want a break? Seriously, I'd understand." I laughed. We'd been on six rides so far and Billie was sweating like hell. She got more and more nervous every time we rode something else. She even screamed when we were on the merry go round.

"I-I'm no...pussy." She tried to catch her breath as she stumbled around. I held her hand and tried to make sure she didn't fall down since she was clearly dizzy. "I can't wait for the n-next ride." She gulped.

"Girl, this is ridiculous." I shook my head.

"She almost cried when we were riding the teacups." Caden snickered loudly. I glared at him and he held his hands up in defense before patting her shoulder. "It's alright, Billie. Maybe you'll feel better when we ride the little train? You know, the one they made for the little kids?"

"I'll kill you " She shouted, shoving him away from her. "I wanna ride the pirate ship."

"Is that really a good idea?" I questioned. The pirate ship is just that. A ride shaped like a pirate ship that rocks back and forth and side to side. It gets pretty high up in the air and it feels like you're slipping out constantly. Billie's gonna lose her shit if she rides it.

"It's either that or the zero gravity thing and I'm gonna have to be honest, I want nothing to do with that ride." She sighed.

I can understand that. I'm not a huge fan of that one myself.

"We could ride the swings." I suggested. They get high in the air too, but it's a kid's ride and it's not that scary.

"No, we gotta ride the big girl rides." She pouted. I laughed at her and allowed her to pull me in the line for it.

We rode the ride and Billie looked absolutely sick afterward. I feel bad, but I have to laugh. I keep telling her she doesn't have to ride what she doesn't want to, but she's too damn stubborn to listen to me so I might as well enjoy her suffering.

"What do you say we try out the Ferris wheel?" I asked. "F-Ferris—" She cut herself off and squeezed her eyes closed. "Those things don't have seatbelts do they?"

"Nope," I shook my head. "But it'll be fine. The odds of either of us falling out and tumbling to our death aren't that good." I smirked.

"You're not funny, bitch."

"But I am, though." I pouted. "Seriously, it can be our last ride of the night and then we can just sit, eat, and wait for everyone else to finish. Okay?"

"If I die I will haunt you." She mumbled.

We waited in line for about fifteen minutes before getting on the ride. Once it started, Billie grabbed my hand and clung to it for dear life as the little bucket we were in swung back and forth as the ride rotated.

"This is really romantic, Billie. Look at the stars!"

"There are no fucking stars!" She hissed. I rolled my eyes. "Pretend there fucking are so we can be cute and shit."

She looked up at the sky and sighed.

We stayed quiet for most of the ride and Billie started to relax after a bit. I laid my head on her shoulder and she rested her own head on top of mine as we enjoyed the feeling of the calm night air gently hitting our faces. It didn't seem like anyone on the ride was talking. All the noise we heard was coming from down below us and people on other rides. Everyone on this ride must've been feeling pretty content.

"I fucking love you, bitch." Billie sighed. "Damn, I know I say that a lot, but I do."

"I love you too." I grinned.

When we got off the ride Billie went to go get us some snacks and I told her I needed to find a porta potty. As much as I hate using them, I really needed to go.

When I found one, I quickly did my business and then scurried right back out. I was about to head back to Billie when I noticed someone I recognized standing a few steps away, talking to a man.

She was laughing with him and it seemed as if they were acquaintances. Maybe they'd just run into each other and were making conversation. They didn't seem that close.

I narrowed my eyes as I watched them, my fists curling at my sides. I stood there watching as they continued to chit chat, oblivious to me.

I glanced around quickly once the man started to walk off, noticing that no one else was around here. Just me and her.

She was about to walk off too before I called out to her.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going, bitch?" I yelled.

She stopped walking and looked around in confusion, clearly trying to see who'd yelled and if they were yelling at her. She threw her head back and placed her hands on her hips in annoyance once she finally saw me.

"I don't want to talk to you, you little brat. Last time I was near you you threw up in my mouth!" She huffed. "Why the hell are you dressed like that? You look stupid."

"You have some fucking nerve, you know that, bitch?" I spat. "I didn't think I could hate you any more than I already did, but I realize now that I was wrong." I slowly crept closer to her, glaring up at her once I was right in front of her. The bored look on her face made my blood boil.

"What the hell are you on about?" She laughed.

"You put us through fucking hell—"

"Oh, this again." She yawned. "You're gonna whine to me, in the middle of a fair, about how awfully I treated you years and years ago? Holding grudges isn't doing anything for your skin, Jane. You're gonna have wrinkles before you turn twenty-five." She cackled.

"I don't give a fucking damn about what you did to me anymore, Valerie. What I care about is what you did to Denver. How could you fucking do that to someone you gave birth to? How could you put him through that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." She lied.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" I screamed. "He told me he still thinks about it every day. He has flashbacks. He's scarred because of what you did to him."

"He should man up and get over whatever it is you're talking about—"

"Valerie, I don't want to talk to you anymore. You make me sick." I shook my head. "You're psychotic. You have absolutely no remorse, you don't care about how badly you hurt him. How badly you hurt all of us! And I guess that's fine. I guess I have to accept that. But here's the thing, Val. I love my brother more than anything and I'd do anything for him. He's always protected me and I couldn't protect him back then, but I can now. I promised myself the next time I saw you I'd make you regret what you did to him. I don't like to break promises."

"Am I supposed to be scared?" She raised a brow.

My reply was a punch in the face. She fell down, clutching her nose as she wore a shocked facial expression. I didn't give her time to say anything as I started to stomp on her. I did everything I could to hurt her. I made sure to stomp on her ribs, her hands, even on her face. When I got tired of doing that I went on to punching her.

I never thought I could hurt someone like that. I never thought I could beat somebody up like that and not give a shit as they screamed for help and begged me to stop. I never thought I could be so violent. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't have been able to, but this is my 'mom.'

I want this bitch dead more than I've ever wanted anything in life. She doesn't deserve any mercy.

I was so disappointed in myself when I got too tired to continue on. I must've been there for a whole thirty or so minutes beating the shit out of her. I'd even picked up a nearby branch and began hitting her with that at one point. She'd stopped squirming about ten minutes in. Just laid there and took it, just like I had when I was younger and she'd whoop me for no reason. I'm pretty sure she'd been knocked out after a few minutes, but I really wasn't paying attention.

Thirty minutes wasn't enough for me.

Fifteen years. Fifteen years she'd treated me like shit. Fifteen years she'd abused me. And I could only beat her ass for thirty minutes?

I coughed as I sat on the ground beside her bruised up body, wheezing as I breathed heavily, trying to catch my breath. I groaned in annoyance when I felt tears sliding down my face. I don't have any idea why I was crying. Because I was tired? Because I hated the fact that I couldn't hurt her more? Because I knew I'd get in major trouble for this and I was scared? Because I knew that by now Billie had probably started to worry about me? Because I knew that what I just did wouldn't help Denver a bit? Because it didn't help me a bit?

I always thought that the second I got to beat her ass the way she used to beat mine I'd feel better about everything she'd done. I thought this would be my closure. It's not.

Everything's just coming back to me all at once. Everything she did to me. It's like I can still feel it. It doesn't feel like a distant memory, it feels like it's actually happening to me right now.

I'm so fucking tired of caring about this shit. I'm tired of thinking about it, I'm tired of remembering it. I thought this would help make it stop. I thought this would make me magically forget everything that happened in the past, but that's not the case at all. So now what? What the fuck do I do? Do I just get to live the rest of my life obsessing over the fucking past?

I feel so fucking hopeless and lost. I just want all this shit to stop. Is that too fucking much to ask?

I sighed as I pulled myself up off the ground and slowly looked at her. I didn't know what to feel as I stared at her. I feel like I should feel bad about this, but I don't.

But me not feeling bad makes me feel really bad.

I never wanted to be anything like her, but I guess I am. I just beat the shit out of her and I don't feel anything. I've looked down on her this whole time, but we're the same. I'm just as bad as she is. This is my worst fucking fear.

I'm a monster.

*************

A/N: I legit thought about doing a face reveal (I'd just leave it up for a day) but also 1st of all nobody asked, 2nd of all I'm ugly and third of all I legit look like a twelve yr old child (I promise I am not) so idk about that.

BUT I know what I WILL do. I'd love to do a Q&A. People ask me questions about the story in the comments a lot and I don't always answer them bc sometimes idk if they're rhetorical or if you're actually asking lmao. Like people have been asking why we're supposed to hate Julia and all that and I haven't answered that. Also someone on insta asked me why the story is called don't hug me I'm scared and I loved that question.

So if you have a question about the story or about my writing or about me or about Bilboa or about whatever the fuck, comment here and ask and I'll answer. (Feel free to ask as many questions as you want it doesn't have to be just one) I'm probably not gonna post the Q&A for a few days so that way it gives people time to actually see this and ask questions. 🖤🖤🖤

And also thank you so much for 45K reads! I'm shook and I love y'all!