Twelve

Catherine passed the following morning in a state of great anticipation as she eagerly awaited Professor Lawes' visit. Breakfast time brought a brief distraction as she was forced into William's company for the first time since returning to Broxcliffe Park, but much to Catherine's relief the ordeal passed rather more smoothly than she had imagined it might. William seemed to think Catherine had suffered enough with Bessie's illness, and so accepted her heartfelt apology for her rude behaviour at the Wyndham Hall ball most readily.

In fact, William seemed in very high spirits indeed, and Catherine suspected it might have something to do with a certain Miss Russell. Sure enough, Julia informed Catherine that while Miss Russell had shunned her own attempts at discussing the rumours about Lord Russell, she had apparently spoken at length about the matter with William when he called at Wyndham Hall the previous morning, declaring him to be 'a great source of comfort'. Whatever her feelings about Miss Russell, Catherine could not deny that poor William was clearly besotted with her – and if that foolish woman made him happy, who was she to judge? Catherine was just relieved to be back on speaking terms with both cousins, and was determined not to meddle in their love affairs ever again.

Normally Catherine was quite able to amuse herself with music, or drawing, or immersing herself in a good novel, but this morning she found it impossible to settle to anything. She drifted from room to room restlessly, which would have driven her parents to distraction back at Donbroke, but thankfully Julia in particular seemed to find this more amusing than anything.

"He tends to visit sometime after eleven 'o' clock," she told Catherine the fourth time she entered the sitting room where Julia sat busily embroidering, "so you would be much better occupying yourself with something for now, as I am almost certain he will not yet be here for another hour at least."

Catherine did take her cousin's advice, of a fashion – she spent the next hour in the sitting room with Julia, eyes not moving from the clock on the mantelpiece as she watched the minutes creep by. When it reached a quarter to eleven she felt she simply could not remain still a moment longer, and so withdrew upstairs to the gallery which offered a very good view of the front driveway. Back and forth she paced, past the long line of portraits depicting generations of the Cavendish family – but no figure on horseback made an appearance on the gravel drive.

Eleven 'o' clock came and went, Catherine's anxiety increasing with each passing minute. Her pacing gained speed as she attempted to distract herself, but her frequent glances out of the window showed the driveway still to be empty. Catherine's eagerness was now fast becoming frustration – and by the time Julia came to inform her that luncheon had been served, she felt quite vexed with her cousin.

"I truly did think he would come," said Julia by way of apology as the pair began to make their way down to the dining room.

"Well I wish you had never told me you thought he might!" replied Catherine crossly, "for now an entire morning has gone to waste!"

Julia looked as if she might be about to making a teasing retort, but after glancing at Catherine's disgruntled expression she seemed to think better of it. The pair continued down to luncheon in silence, and Catherine hardly spoke two words during the entire meal. She was, of course, frustrated with Julia for leading her to believe Professor Lawes would visit – and also rather frustrated with the professor himself for deciding not to call. But she was much, much more frustrated with herself for wanting the professor to visit.

What on earth had she been thinking? This man had given her no reason to like him, yet here she was anxiously waiting for him to pay her a social call, pacing the halls like an anguished lover! Well, there would be no more of that, Catherine told herself firmly as she buttered her scone with purpose. She had read plenty of novels about foolish ladies working themselves into hysterics awaiting a gentleman's visit, and was not about to become one of those senseless creatures in a hurry. No, she would find something to amuse herself with, and not spare Professor Lawes another thought.

After luncheon Catherine made her way upstairs to the music room, and as she sat herself at the elegant pianoforte she could not help but let out a sigh of contentment. Though not as fine as the instrument at Wyndham Hall, this pianoforte was far superior to its tinny, out-of-tune counterpart at Donbroke, and Catherine could not help but feel envious of her cousins having this beauty to play whenever they pleased. Neither Julia nor William cared much for music, however, so the instrument often remained untouched for weeks at a time. To Catherine this was a crime – but at least it meant she was able to play it as often as she liked whenever she visited Broxcliffe Park.

Catherine thumbed her way through the sheaf of music stacked under the stool, searching for a technically difficult piece which would require her full concentration. After shuffling through several arias and sonatas, she finally came across a Mozart piano concerto she had been meaning to learn for some time. Glancing with satisfaction at the mass of black notes that was the first movement, she smoothed out the pages on the music stand and settled down on the stool to begin playing.

Within a few minutes Catherine was completely immersed in the piece, all thoughts of Professor Lawes completely forgotten. It truly was an exquisite concerto – as so much of Mozart's music was – and also exceedingly difficult to play. On the first play-through Catherine's fingers were tying themselves in knots, and even after a few attempts at the trickier passages she could not seem to get her hands around them. With a defeated sigh, she turned her attention instead to the slower second movement, vowing to return to the first movement for more practice later.

Catherine had a great love for slow, moving pieces – and the second movement of this concerto certainly was both of these things. The instant her fingers touched the keys the black notes on the page sprang to life, transporting her into a state of pure bliss and tranquillity. Out poured all the emotions relating to Bessie's illness; all the sorrow for Julia's broken heart; and all the confusion of the professor's feelings towards her. With each emotion-filled phrase Catherine found herself becoming more and more lost in the beautiful music, immersing herself so completely that she did not notice she had an audience.

"You play so beautifully, Miss Taylor."

The soft, gentle voice came from the doorway, and at the sound of it Catherine ceased playing immediately, leaping up from the stool as if she had been scorched. Leaning casually against the doorframe, impeccably dressed in gentlemen's riding gear, was none other than Professor Lawes.

"I – I did not notice you enter, sir," Catherine stuttered, cheeks flaming scarlet. She was slowly returning to the real world after her brief moment of musical indulgence, and could hardly disguise her mortification at having been observed in the middle of such a heartfelt, personal moment as she wondered how on earth the professor came to be there.

"I did not wish to interrupt you," said the professor, lingering hesitantly in the doorway. "You were playing with such deep emotion – it was so refreshing to hear."

Catherine clasped her hands in front of her, brows knitting in a confused frown. This sounded like the Professor Lawes who had written so elegantly to her – yet the way he twisted his hat continuously in his hands told Catherine that he was nervous.

Much as she wanted to believe the professor's compliments to be genuine, there was something Catherine did not quite understand. If Professor Lawes did indeed mean what he just said, why had he not said it long ago, that very first night at Wyndham Hall? Why had he instead singled Miss Russell's playing out, snubbing Catherine publicly and very humiliatingly?

"You are wondering why I have not complimented your musical ability previously," stated the professor gravely, finally taking a couple of steps into the room.

Catherine coloured further, rather unnerved at the uncanny way Professor Lawes seemed to realise instantly what was troubling her. She raised her chin in defiance, refusing to let him know that he was right.

"Far too often gentlemen bestow their praise upon a lady's accomplishments when in fact they seek only to gain the lady's affection with empty gestures," said Catherine airily. "I should hate to think that I had received a compliment which was not honestly meant."

"I can assure you that my compliment just now was a perfectly genuine recognition of your superior musical ability," the professor told her, with a kind of fierce intensity in his eyes that Catherine had never seen there before. She found a smile spreading itself across her face, and dropped her gaze hastily so that Professor Lawes would not see.

"As to why I did not compliment you the first evening we met at Wyndham Hall, there is only my social ineptitude to blame," he continued, moving further into the room. "It was my first time dining at Wyndham Hall, and I must confess I was more than a little apprehensive. I had been made aware of the Russells' social superiority in Barnbury, and found myself anxious to behave in an appropriate manner. Upon your arrival I heard Lady Russell speak openly of her daughter's musical talent, and so although I dearly wished to compliment your pianoforte playing later that evening, I feared to do so would be to injure Lady Russell's pride.

When Miss Russell then began to play, it was clear her mother expected all present to positively shower her with praise. So, loathing myself for the pain I knew it would cause you, Miss Taylor, I gave my warmest compliments to Miss Russell, simply through fear of incurring her mother's wrath. It was very wrong of me to behave so, and once again I can only apologise."

Catherine did not quite know what to make of this speech, and remained silent long after Professor Lawes had finished speaking as she mulled it all over. So Professor Lawes had in fact admired her pianoforte playing all along!

Yet the professor had just admitted to complimenting Miss Russell's performance purely to please her mother; did that not make him one of those very gentlemen Catherine had just told him she despised? Though she certainly was not fond of Miss Russell, Catherine was never one to speak untruthfully about another lady's accomplishments – Miss Russell was a far superior player to herself, and deserved honest recognition for it.

"Miss Russell deserved to be complimented," Catherine told Professor Lawes now. "Her musical ability far surpasses mine."

"Your modesty does so become you, Miss Taylor," he smiled, the expression illuminating his entire face. "In terms of technical ability, indeed I declare I have never heard Miss Russell's equal. Yet I have never heard your equal, Miss Taylor, for playing the pianoforte so beautifully, and so full of emotion – and that is what music is to me."

"You seem to speak in a very informed manner on the subject, professor," observed Catherine aloud in an attempt to disguise the current raptures of pleasure she was experiencing. "Are you a musician yourself?"

"I am a great lover of music," said Professor Lawes eagerly, crossing the room to stand next to Catherine at the pianoforte, running his hands along the white keys lovingly. "I learnt to play the cello after falling in love with its mellow tone, and play the pianoforte a little. Yes, I do love music – but I rarely have the opportunity to play these days," he said sorrowfully.

"That is a great shame," Catherine told him. "I should be very miserable if I were not able to amuse myself with music; it is by far my favourite pastime. But of course you must be very busy with your research."

"It is true – my research does command a great deal of my time," Professor Lawes admitted. "Astronomy is, however, my passion, so I more than willingly commit the time to it. But at Cambridge I sometimes feel as if I am rather confined to the world of academia, and wish to be part of the rest of society for a time."

"Is that what brought you to stay with Mr Wilmot in Barnbury?" asked Catherine with interest. This was the most open Professor Lawes had ever been with her, and she found that she was very much enjoying getting to know him.

"That is part of the reason. The main reason was a desire for some time alone, for quiet reflection."

The atmosphere in the music room changed abruptly, as a sense of deep melancholy washed over the professor. Catherine held her breath, desperately wanting Professor Lawes to continue but at the same time fearful that she had pried too much. For several endless moments he silently surveyed the stack of music on the pianoforte's lid and it seemed as if he would not reply – but just as Catherine believed the conversation to be done, the professor cleared his throat awkwardly.

"My father passed away very recently," he said, in a rather strangled voice.

"Oh, I am terribly sorry to hear that," gasped Catherine in horror, but the professor went on as if he had not heard her.

"As his only son, I am his heir, which means I now own the family home and land in Cheshire. I told you that I have two sisters, Miss Taylor – one is married, but the youngest is not, which means I have also inherited the responsibility of securing her a husband. This duty is not one I am able to fulfil while I am at Cambridge, nor am I able to manage my family's estate with ease. So I now find myself faced with a decision of great importance to make: do I remain at Cambridge and neglect my duties to my family, or do I abandon my work in order to return to Cheshire?"

Catherine could make no reply; she was stunned to silence. The man standing before her bore no resemblance to the rude professor she had first met a few weeks ago, and Catherine found it difficult to believe they were indeed the same person. She felt as if her eyes had been opened; as if she was seeing the real Professor Lawes for the very first time. Catherine realised she had painted a picture of him as a cold, ill-mannered academic man, as simply 'The Professor' – but now she had seen a glimpse of Henry Lawes the family man, and found him very endearing. To hear him speak of securing a husband for his sister with such fond brotherly affection made Catherine look at him with a new kind of tenderness she never thought she could feel for this man.

"I have been pondering the issue since my arrival at Barnbury a month ago," sighed Professor Lawes, his bowed head making it impossible for Catherine to see his expression. "John Wilmot has always been a good friend to me, you know, and has offered his advice – he feels I must return to Cheshire. I always endeavour to accept the opinions of those I hold dear, but on this occasion I feel he does not truly understand my situation. He only experienced the world of academia for a short while; he was relatively young when he came to live in Barnbury after marrying Mrs Wilmot.

It is very different for me – science has dominated my life for a great many years, and I have no Mrs Wilmot to keep me company in Cheshire. My sister remains there at present, though I hope I shall soon find her a husband, after which I will be completely alone."

Catherine's breath caught in her throat as, suddenly, the atmosphere in the room shifted once again. She could feel the professor's loneliness and desire for a companion radiating from him as he gazed at her intently, and she realised more than ever how badly she had judged his character.

Several seconds passed, and still Professor Lawes did not lower his gaze.Therewas something so intense, a sort of yearning in his eyes, and Catherinesuppressed a gasp as she felt something awaken deep inside her...

A moment later the spell was broken. Professor Lawes, apparently realising he had been staring at Catherine for far too long, suddenly dropped his gaze with an embarrassed cough, distractedly shuffling through the sheets of music on the pianoforte as his cheeks reddened.

Disappointment coursed through Catherine's veins, as she realised she had been enjoying this moment of closeness with the professor. She felt certain he had opened up to her more than he had to any other in Barnbury, except Mr Wilmot of course, and she felt honoured that he had chosen to share his thoughts with her. Catherine's first opinion of this man had been very wrong indeed, and she was so glad to have been given the opportunity to know him better. He was in fact kind, and considerate – and he had looked at her so tenderly – and he had just spoken about wanting a wife...

"Shall we play a duet?" asked Professor Lawes, interrupting Catherine's thoughts. Catherine eyed the music in the professor's hand with interest, beaming with delight as she noticed it was Weber's 'six petites pièces faciles'.

"I adore these pieces!" she smiled. "My sister and I have spent many pleasant hours in the music room at home playing through them."

"Which is your favourite?" inquired Professor Lawes, fetching a chair from the corner of the room for himself as Catherine seated herself once again at the stool. She felt another pang of disappointment that they could not share the stool, but of course it would hardly be proper for them to be seated in such close proximity, and she reprimanded herself firmly for allowing such vulgar thoughts to enter her mind.

"Oh, I simply adore the second movement!" Catherine told him, turning to the correct page. "Shall we begin?"

Playing this well-loved piece with Professor Lawes was certainly an interesting experience for Catherine. Part of her thought wistfully back to those afternoons in the Donbroke music room, wishing she could be there with Bessie now – but as she and Professor Lawes played together, fingers dancing up and down the keys in tandem, she felt a peculiar fluttering sensation in her stomach. He played well, though he was clearly out of practice; but it did not matter that he stumbled over the occasional passage, for his playing was full of expression, and Catherine adored seeing this side to him.

They played right through the second movement, moving seamlessly on to the third without pausing, and Catherine could have played through the entire book with him quite happily. All of a sudden, though, Professor Lawes stopped playing abruptly.

Catherine stopped too, wondering disappointedly if the professor had grown bored of the piece – but she soon discovered his reason for ceasing to play. Noticing a sudden flurry of movement across the room, Catherine raised her head to see Julia stood in the doorway, gazing at them with open-mouthed shock.

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A/N: The video at the top is the duet that Catherine and Professor Lawes play together :) It's a sweet little piece, and when I listened to it I could really imagine them both playing it.