: Chapter 33

I don’t want to let her go.

I want her to stay with me, in our house, in our bed.

I want to cling to her, love her, spoil her, make her mine over and over until our bodies can’t move anymore.

But the closer we get to the house, the more I realize that I might just have to say goodbye to her.

Our hands are linked as our driver makes his way down our street.

My stomach is in knots.

My head is pounding with a stress headache.

And I swear bile keeps rising in my throat from the thought of what the future might hold…or what it doesn’t hold.

The driver pulls up to the side of the house and puts the car in park. He exits and starts unloading our suitcases while Sloane turns toward me.

When our eyes meet, a wave of dread hits me all at once.

“Can I borrow the driver?”

“W-why?” I ask.

Does she want to move her things back to her house?

“I need to go do something.” She cups my cheek and whispers, “But I’ll be back. I promise.”

A lump grows in my throat, feeling like a rock, stuck and cutting off my airway. “Sloane, I don’t think…” I swallow. “I don’t think you should⁠—”

She places her finger over my lips, cutting me off from finishing my sentence. “Tell me what you told me last night, what you told me this morning.”

I look her in the eyes and say, “I love you.”

“Good. Hold on to that.”

She steps out of the car, and I follow behind her. When we’re on the sidewalk and the driver is taking the suitcases up the steps to the front door, she moves in close to me and slides her hand up my chest before gripping the back of my neck. She tugs me down and kisses me softly.

My hands fall to her ass, and I hold her close as I revel in the way her lips move against mine.

I don’t want this to be the end.

But why does it feel like it?

Why does it feel like this is all going to come crashing down around me?

I know she’s asking me to fight for her, to stay with her, but fuck, what about Jude? What about the business? What about everything I’ve been able to establish with my brother? And now that I’m failing—once again—is my dad going to see it and break apart the very fragile bandage that was placed over the open wound between us?

“Stop,” she says when she pulls away. She presses her hand to my brow, relaxing it. “Stop thinking.”

“Sloane, I’m fucking…I’m fucking sick to my stomach.”

“I know.” She moves her hand up and down my chest. “Please, just go inside, relax, shower. I’ll be back. I promise.”

“He said⁠—”

“I know what my brother said. And I don’t care what he said. Trust me, please.”

She stares up at me, pleading with me with her large eyes, and fuck, I can’t say no to her. Ever. “Okay,” I answer.

“Thank you.” She kisses me again, and when she pulls away, she whispers, “I love you.”

Those three little words—when she says them to me, it almost feels like the entire world tilts on its axis, stops rotating, and it’s just me and her.

“I love you,” I say back before she squeezes my hand and gets back in the car.

I stand there on the sidewalk as the driver gets in the car and takes off, feeling like this was the last time I am going to hear her say that to me, which makes my stomach churn all over again.

As much as she wants to say that it’s going to be okay, I know for a fact that it’s not.

SLOANE

I stand on the doorstep of my brother’s house, not an ounce of nerves pulsing through me.

Not even a little.

Instead, I feel levelheaded.

I know what I want to say, and I’m not going to skip a beat while I say it.

The door opens, and Haisley is on the other side in a pair of red shorts and an oversized gray shirt with her hair piled on the top of her head.

“Sloane,” she says, looking surprised.

“Hey, Haisley. Could I speak with my brother, please?”

She glances behind her and slowly works her way out onto the doorstep with me, shutting the door behind her. “He’s not in a good headspace.”

“I understand that, but it’s not going to stop me from talking with him. This needs to happen before he starts creating scenarios in his head.”

“I think that’s already happened.”

“Then there’s even more reason to talk to him.”

She pauses me and says, “I don’t know what Hudson did⁠—”

“I love him,” I say, plain and simple. “And he loves me. There’s nothing to say other than we’re married and we plan on keeping it that way.”

“Oh,” she says, completely shocked. “I…I had no idea.” She looks past my shoulder and then back to me. “You love him?”

“I do.”

She nods. “He…he needs that.”

“I know,” I say softly.

“I think he needs it the most out of all of us.”

“I’ve gathered that.”

She sighs. “And you’re here to defend him?”

“I am. I’m here to help my brother understand.”

She nods and then a small smile creeps out over her lips. “You know, I wouldn’t have put you two together, but if I think about it, I can see how you could be perfect for each other.”

That makes me smile too because she’s right. “We balance each other.”

“I see it. And honestly, when I found out, I was more concerned about my husband and his reaction and how this might affect him. I never thought about my brother and that…that makes me sad. I don’t think he ever lets people think about him and his feelings; he’s always shouldering everyone else’s burdens.”

“He is, which is why I’m here. This is not his fight; this is mine. I want to be the one who stands up for him, who takes care of this. He needs someone being there for him, like he’s there for you and Hardy.”

Her lips turn up. “God, you’re…you’re going to make me cry.” She pulls me into a hug and whispers, “Thank you.” When she pulls away, she continues, “And I’m sorry that I came on strong. This is all brand-new, and I didn’t take in the information the way that I should have.”

“You also didn’t know that feelings were involved either. I hate to admit it, but I’ve liked him for a while now, ever since Bora Bora at your wedding.”

Her smile grows even wider now. “You know, I thought I caught you staring a few times.”

“How could I not?”

“I mean, I can certainly see why not. He’s my brother⁠—”

“Yeah, and your brother is hot.”

She laughs now and squeezes my arm. “Okay, please spare me the details.”

“Oh, just like you spared Stacey and me the details about you and Jude?” I give her a look. “I think I owe you way more details about me and Hudson.”

“How about you go talk to your brother instead?”

“That’s not going to get you out of what I owe you though,” I tease and reach for the door, but Haisley stops me.

“Two things. Thank you for loving my brother. I can’t wait to see you together and see how you make him happy. I honestly look forward to it.”

“Thank you.”

“Secondly, I would tread carefully with Jude. Also, I will back you up if you need me.”

“I appreciate that, but I think this is something I need to do on my own.”

“I understand.” She pulls me into a hug again and then whispers, “Good luck. He’s out back.”

“Thanks.”

I slip inside the house and head to the backyard.

I find him in a lounge chair, his back toward me, staring out toward the bay.

With my confidence intact, I walk right up to him and take a seat in the lounge chair next to him.

“Who was—” He pauses when he makes eye contact with me. “Sloane, what are you doing here?”

“We need to talk,” I say and watch his entire body grow tense.

“There is nothing that you and I need to talk about. This is between me and Hudson.”

“Actually, it’s not. It’s between you and me.” He goes to talk, but I press my hand to his arm and say, “Please, please let me get this out. I need you to understand before you make a judgment regarding what happened between me and Hudson.”

“There’s nothing to understand. He took advantage of you.”

“I took advantage of him,” I say, causing him to shake his head. “Please, Jude. Please just listen.”

His tongue slides over his teeth before he turns toward me and says, “Fine, talk.”

Here goes nothing.

“The moment I met Hudson in Bora Bora, I thought he was beautiful.”

“Christ,” Jude mutters.

“I did, and when you helped me get a job with him, well, I took it very seriously. I was incredibly grateful, but the more time I spent with him, the more I started to like him.”

“Jesus, Sloane.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s true. But I never acted on anything, ever, and he wouldn’t give me the time of day either. He took the boss-assistant relationship very seriously. So nothing happened.”

“Okay,” he says, letting me continue.

“Then we had a meeting at Maggie’s, and that’s where things got tricky. Sheridan and Archie were meeting with Maggie to discuss needing another bridesmaid for their wedding because one of theirs broke her leg. They assumed I was for hire and said I was perfect. Hudson said I could do it, but you could tell he immediately regretted it after. Either way, Hudson gave me the opportunity to back down, and I didn’t take it.”

“Why not?”

“I knew he needed the help. But I think it was also because that day when I went home to talk to Stacey about it, we’d gotten a letter from our landlord, saying that he was going to sell the house. He gave us the option to rent to own, but we needed a down payment and neither of us had the money.” His eyes grow angry, but I keep going. “We didn’t want to lose the house; it has meant so much to us over the years, and well, I came up with a plan. During that meeting Hudson had, he found out that he needed access to the Mayfair Club to get close to Terrance, and to become a member, you have to be married, so I proposed that I would marry him if he gave me a down payment for the house.”

“Jesus fuck, Sloane. Are you kidding me right now?”

I shake my head. “I’m dead serious. And…oh shit, I forgot, after the meeting at Maggie’s, he fired me.”

“He what?” Jude roars.

“It was deserved, I was being insubordinate, and I didn’t take it well. But when I saw the letter from the landlord, I panicked and asked him to marry me. He said no. Several times. For days. He said he would never do that to you, to me. But I kept pressing until I wore him down.”

Jude rubs his hand over his forehead. I can only imagine what is going through his mind. “Sloane, when I got you this job with him, I was expecting you to act professionally, not take advantage of my business partner.”

“I did, I was acting very professional, but I don’t know, panic set in and we didn’t want to ask you for help. We wanted to do it on our own⁠—”

“By selling yourself?” he nearly roars.

I hold back my wince and stay strong. “The arrangement benefitted both parties, and I refuse to feel bad about it. I refuse to feel bad about any of it because after we got married and went to London, something changed between me and Hudson. We had both been harboring feelings, but in London we got closer, got to know each other better, and those feelings developed.” Jude lifts his brow. “And then we fell for each other.”

“What?” he says, looking confused. “You fell for each other?”

“Yes,” I answer. “I love him, Jude, simple as that.”

“Hold on.” He blinks, trying to comprehend. “You…you barely know him. How could you love him?”

“I know him better than you do. I know the kind of man he is outside of the conference room. I know that he’d do just about anything for me, that he’s protective and sweet and funny. He can let loose, and when he needs to, he is protective and will hurt anyone who comes near me. He takes our relationship very seriously, and he’s one of the best and imperfect men I’ve ever met. I know that he was willing to give me up, despite not wanting to, in order to make you happy, in order to make everyone else happy but himself. And I refuse to let it happen. I refuse to let you dictate what happens in our lives.”

“Sloane,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You don’t know what love is. You’re too⁠—”

“Do not say young,” I say, growing stern with my brother. “I’m not too young. I know exactly what love is. I feel it when I’m with him, and no one else makes me feel that way. No one. I feel joy when I’m with him. I feel comfort. Ease. He makes me happy, makes me feel special, and I know it’s the same feeling you get when Haisley is in the room because you’ve told me about it. You’ve gone into detail about how Haisley makes you feel. It’s the same thing, Jude.” He starts to shake his head again, but I place my hand on his and say, “You need to stop thinking of me as the little girl that you protected when we were growing up and start seeing me as the woman I’ve become.” His eyes meet mine and I continue, “I love you, Jude. You’ve given me so much in this life, and I’m so grateful for it, but I need you to recognize that if you can’t grow with me, then I’m going to have to leave you behind.”

“What?” he asks, looking offended.

“It’s not fair for you to keep me in this box you created many years ago, a box where you believe you’re keeping me safe. You might be protecting me, but you’re not letting me grow, you’re not letting me find my way in this world⁠—”

“Because you don’t have a way.”

“I do,” I say, growing frustrated. “And Hudson is one of the people who helped me realize what I am passionate about. I want to do good. I want to help those who were in a situation like us growing up. Stacey and I talked, and we are turning the house into a safe haven. We’re going to start small, but we plan on growing once we have the right funding and business plan. But the house, that’s the beginning. So please don’t insult me, don’t insult us, by saying we don’t know what we’re doing. You need to trust that you helped us grow into the resilient women we are today and that we’re making good decisions, even if in an unconventional way.”

He sits back and clears his throat. “You want to make a safe haven?”

“Yes,” I answer, hoping that he’s starting to ease up. “I was watching what Hudson and Hardy were doing, offering more affordable housing, and it made me realize we had the opportunity to do something too, you know? Stacey loves the idea, although we need to find her a place to live once we get the house ready and find a family to host⁠—”

“What about you?”

I sigh and look my brother in the eyes. “I’m living with Hudson, Jude. We’re married, and I don’t plan on changing that.”

He works his jaw to the side, clearly not happy about my response but also not as angry as he was before.

“You…you love him?”

I nod. “I love him.”

“And he loves you.”

“He was the first one to say it.”

He smooths his hand over his jaw now, thinking about it. “Why didn’t you think you could tell me?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I was afraid of how you were going to react.”

“You could have talked me through it.”

“There is no way you would have sat and listened.”

“I did today.”

“Today is different,” I say. “You already found out and have had days to get used to it. This was me cooling you down and letting you know you can’t treat Hudson the way you did on the phone, which I happened to overhear. He deserves so much better than to have you threaten him like that. He’s a good man, and I know you know this. Deep down, you know that he will protect me, take care of me, love me, never hurt me. You know this, or else you never would have gone into business with him.”

He looks down at the ground, seeming to think that over.

“You are a man of morals, Jude. Your loyalty runs deep, and you don’t associate with people who do not share the same values. So if you were to pick anyone to take care of your sister, wouldn’t it be the person who you trust with your livelihood as well?”

He sighs and seems to wrestle with the idea. After a few seconds, he asks, “You really love him?”

“I really do.”

“Christ.” He drags his hand over his face. “When the hell did you grow up?”

I chuckle and place my hand on his knee. “When you were falling in love with Hudson’s sister.”

Cue Haisley, who comes up to us and sits down next to Jude. She rubs her hand over his thigh, and he wraps his arm around her.

Softly, Haisley says, “He needs love, Jude. And Sloane is the one offering him the type of love I don’t think he thought he would ever have or ever deserve. Please don’t take that away from my brother.”

“Hell,” he groans and then looks between us. “Ganging up on me like this…not fair.”

“Do I need to bring in Stacey? Really make it unfair?”

“No.”

Haisley and I chuckle and then I place my hand on his arm again. “Can you please accept this? Accept us?”

He twists his lips to the side, takes a moment, and then lightly nods his head. “Yeah, I can.”

HUDSON

Silence.

It’s an eerie feeling, especially when everything in your head feels chaotic. Unsettled. Out of control.

She’s been gone over two hours. Two fucking hours.

And I know she said she was coming back, but why did it feel like she was actually saying goodbye? And shouldn’t I be happy about that? That she’s making the split between us easier?

I probably should, but I’m not.

I’m actually fucking gutted.

I can’t…fuck, I can’t even think⁠—

The front door opens, and I spin around from where I’m pacing in the living room to see Jude walk through. Every nerve in my body seizes and a spike of adrenaline shoots up my spine.

Fuck.

But he’s not alone—Haisley and Sloane walk in behind him.

What the hell is going on?

“Told you I’d be back,” Sloane says casually as she walks up to me, places her hand on my chest, and then stands on her toes to kiss me on the cheek.

Jesus, what is she doing? Trying to get me killed?

“It’s okay,” she says. “He’s not here to hurt you.”

So she thinks.

Jude looks between the two of us. I can see him trying to understand, attempting to find approval. I feel like I should say something to him, but I don’t quite know what to say. Do I apologize? Do I tell him I love her? Do I ask him what’s going on?

“Can I have a second with Hudson?” Jude says.

Okay, so he does plan on harming me. That’s fine. I deserve it.

Sloane points at Jude and says, “Be nice.”

Then she and Haisley go off to the kitchen, where they pretend to get drinks, even though I know they’re trying to listen in.

Jude closes the space between us, and I remain standing as I wait for his next move.

He places his hands in his pockets and looks me in the eyes. “She told me you love her. Is that true?”

Keeping my gaze set on his: “That’s true.”

“That the marriage was her idea?”

“That’s also true.”

“That you are protective and take care of her.”

“Yes,” I answer.

“And that you plan on staying married to her?”

I swallow and nod. “That’s what I want.”

His tongue presses into the side of his cheek as he slowly nods. “She’s a part of my heart, my soul. I can’t have anything happen to her.”

“You have my word that I would never let something happen to her. Ever.”

He nods again. “Good answer.” He then stretches his hand out to me, and I take it. He pulls me in close and whispers, “Hurt her and I hurt you, understood?”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” I answer, surprised by this conversation. What the hell did Sloane do?

“Good.” He pulls away just enough to look me in the eyes. “I’m sorry about the way I treated you, threatening our business relationship like that. It was wrong.”

“I’m sorry I even put you in that position.”

He curtly nods. “Give me a second to soak this all in. We can catch up Monday.”

“Okay,” I answer as he steps away.

“Haisley, you ready?” he calls out.

“Yup,” she says but quickly walks up to me and gives me a hug. “I’m happy for you, Hudson. You deserve her.”

Then together, they take off, leaving me in a state of confusion alone with Sloane. She seems to find the whole thing funny as she walks up to me with a huge smile on her face.

“What…what just happened?”

She pushes me down on the couch and then straddles my lap. “I had a talk with my brother. Told him everything and said that he was not allowed to treat you the way that he did.”

“You did?” I ask.

“Yup. I told him that we love each other and that we planned on staying married. That he needs to trust the fact that I know what I’m doing and trust that you are going to love me the way that I deserve.”

“You…you stood up for me?”

She moves her hand over my cheek and says, “Of course I did. Someone needs to, and if anything, it should be your wife.” She leans forward and presses a kiss to the tip of my nose. “I am still your wife, right?”

“Y-yeah,” I say, stunned. “Unless you planned on getting that divorce like you said you were going to.”

She shakes her head. “No, the sex is too good. I think I want you to stick around.”

I chuckle but then grow serious because I need to know the truth. “You really want this? Me?”

“I do.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she answers. “I want all of you, Hudson. I want the good, the unsure, the hesitant, the bossy, the asshole, the dreamer, the achiever, the protector. I want every single piece of you. There was a reason I was attracted to you from the moment I saw you, and it wasn’t just the carved jawline.” My lips tilt up. “It was because I felt a connection when you looked me in the eyes for the first time. I knew there was something there; I just couldn’t figure it out quite yet. But now that I have, I never want to let it go. Please tell me you feel the same.”

“I do,” I answer. “I want this, you and me. I want this feeling I have when I’m around you to last forever and I never want to lose it. You…you make me feel something I’ve never truly felt before. You make me feel seen, comforted, loved.”

She smiles and connects our foreheads together. “I want you to always feel that way around me. Always.”

“Keep loving me and I will.”

She smirks and then kisses me on the lips, deepening the connection by opening her mouth and swiping her tongue against mine.

I melt into the couch and let her take charge, letting her love me, letting her comfort me.

Never in a million years did I think I would ever find someone like her. I was dead set on building a business and nothing else, but then Sloane came along and changed everything.

She gave me joy.

She became my rock, even though I didn’t know I needed that.

She gave me a reason to rely on someone other than myself.

She made me a husband by becoming my wife, and that’s a title I will forever cherish.