Chapter 9: Emotions Run High

Silence crept in the room where Astrid lay, attempting to sleep before the raids which were on beginning the upcoming day. It had been three days since she visited the seer. His words echoed through her head, over and over until she was angry with herself in thinking about it. What powers could a slave ever reach? She thought to herself as the words ran through her head once more. Power was the last thing Astrid ever planned on reaching. It was never her intention to ever become powerful, her main goal was to be free and to be free meant doing whatever it took. She figured that she had no purpose anymore and if death presented itself before her, she would reach out and take it by the hand, for she did not fear death, if anything she longed for death to come soon.

She rolled over onto her side, only to find Jezebel was still in Erick's bedchamber. Astrid knew that tonight was the night that she would break the news to Erick that she was carrying his child. Bewildered as she was, Astrid accepted the fact herself that her dear friend was pregnant, which was uncommon for women of her age in most cases, But ever so often it would happen. Jezebel was only forty years old, while she was twenty-six.

The fire had all died away except for a few embers that were glowing red-orange. though it did not really matter since it was not very cold. The spring nights were beginning to get warmer, allowing them to not have to build as many fires. Darkness settled around her, not that there was anything important to see. She sat up straight on the straw pallet, shoving the sheepskin covers away from her body, exposing the thin linen shift that hung loosely on her small body. She leaned her back against the hard wall.

"Come morning, my world will have changed once again." Astrid mumbled under her breath, letting out a long, drawn-out sigh.

She stood up from where she was, found her gray woolen apron dress and slipped it over her head, leaving off the blue apron covering. Next, she pulled on her soft-soled leather shoes, lacing the thick strings to the tops that rested upon her ankles. Once dressed made her way to a table where a lantern was burning. Before taking the cold handle into her hand, she glanced around the dark, shadowy room. Nothing but stillness was all that was seen. Astrid pushed the door open, slowly and as quietly as possible. Using the light from the lantern and what illuminated from the crescent moon to guide her way, she began walking down the dirt path leading from the village square to the rolling hills that rested beside the water. The village was dead. Not a soul was out. No candles flickered in the openings of the houses. Off in the distance Astrid heard a lone owl hoot. As she walked beside the animal pen, the sound a horses grunt rang out through the air.

She continued down the path, looking behind her ever so often to reassure herself that no one was following her. A cool wind blew through the air which blew the loose strands of Astrid's dark hair that was not contained in her messy braid.

After several minutes of hiking Astrid finally reached the peak of the hill. The glistening water rippled each time the breeze blew, giving Astrid a sense of peace. She hurried down the bottom half of the hill, reaching the shores of the water quickly, where she plopped down onto the bank, sitting the lantern beside of her.

Peace came over Astrid's troublesome mind. All the fears she had melted away as she watched the clear water roll up close to her then drift back away. Memories flooded her thoughts once more, remembering the way she would go sit by the Elbe river with her mother and sister on late evenings. She flash backed to the way her life was and then contemplated on how it was in the present. Then he painful memory of her mother and sister covered in blood came. Her heart sunk with the remembrance. She felt her heart began to pound more and more as the scene replayed once again in her head. Then...silence. It was the past and there was nothing she could do. They were dead and she had to face that dreadful fact as the tears began to fall from her eyes. Tears that stayed in her eyes until she was alone then occasionally one would fall.

"You better watch coming out here alone you know? Thieves and murderers roam at night." A voice popped out of the silence, giving Astrid a startle.

"Who is there?" Astrid asked, grasping the handle of her lantern. "I am unarmed. I do not want any trouble." Her trembling voice pleaded.

She caught a glimpse of an outline of a man coming down shoreline, squinting to see if she could tell who the familiar voice was.

"It is only I." The voice blurted once again. "Knute."

Astrid perked up as he approached her from the bank. She lifted up her lantern and stood to greet him.

"Why are you out here?" Astrid asked him, casting the flickering light upon his handsome features.

Knute chucked lightly, placing his large hand onto her shoulder. "I think the better question is what are you doing out here?" He said humorously, twirling one of the loose stands of her hair around his finger.

She stepped back away from him, annoyed by the tone in which he spoke to her.

"What does it matter to you why I am here? I could be here to kill myself for all you know or care, for that matter." Astrid snapped, sitting the lantern back onto the ground.

Knute looked out to the glistening sea before turning his attention back to Astrid.

"I know you Astrid and I know that you would not harm yourself." He spoke softly, placing his hand upon her cheek. "Let me guess you came out here to think about the raids wondering if you will not come back."

Astrid squinted her eyes and wrapped her fingers around Knute's wrist, pushing his hand away from her face.

"That is not why I am here, I want you to know." She replied insecurely, crossing her arms over her chest. "You would not understand."

Astrid saw a wide smile come across his face, flashing his white teeth. The light from the moon twinkled in his eyes of crystal blue pools.

"I understand perfectly. I have stared death down many a time here where I am standing tonight. I know what it is like to not know if you will be returning." Knute spoke gently, taking Astrid by the hand. "If you do return you will be free woman. That should be enough to keep you fighting."

Astrid jerked her hands away from his, throwing them forcefully to her sides. "What do I have to return to? Erick betrayed me."

"Me." Knute remarked, catching Astrid in an uneasy way. "You have me to return to. You would the have a home to to come back to. I know that I am not much but I am try to be the best man I can be."

Astrid stared at him shocked and confused. No words came to her. Her mind was blank. She quickly glanced down at the ground and put her hands on the sides of her face and closed her eyes, allowing the words to set still in her mind.

"Astrid," he whispered. "I did not mean to-"

"You did not do anything wrong." Astrid scolded. "I am flattered that you think highly of me but I am not what you need. I will never be what anyone needs. That is how it will always be. I cannot change it and you cannot change it; no one can." She finished, watching Knute walk down to the shore.

She knew he was hurt just as she was. Her heart longed to run down the beach and take him into an embrace and never let go, but knew she could not, for she belonged to a man now who felt the same towards her.

Astrid let out a sigh and slowly followed after him. He plopped down onto the ground, putting his elbow onto his knees and fondled the gold arm ring on his wrist.

"Knute..." Astrid's voice trailed off.

"Do not worry about me. I knew that I should not have told you that. Forgive me." Knute apologized.

Astrid turned away from Knute.

"I need to leave. If they find I am gone I will be punished." She responded, looking back at him once again before taking her lantern into her hand and leaving.

She slunk back the way she came. Darkness still crept on the village as did silence. Knute's image flashed into her mind. She regretted what she had said after all he had done for her. A nervous feeling grew in the pit of her stomach that she had never been felt before; a feeling of care and love that had long left her.

Approaching Erick's house, Astrid blew the slow-burning flame out of the lantern. She pushed the door open and tiptoed inside, where she made her way to the pallet once again.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" Bard's voice sounded from the corner, giving Astrid a startle.

"I can explain." Astrid pleaded, catching a glimpse of him from the light of a candle.

Bard walked to where she stood, jerking her close to him by the arm. "Oh I would love to hear what you have to say." Bard spoke roughly, getting into her face.

"I took a walk only to think about my life; For as you know we are leaving tomorrow and this is the last time I will be in Oliefsborg." Astrid pleaded, placing her hand on his thin waist. "Sire, forgive me. I did not mean nothing by it."

Bard smacked her across the face forcefully. "I should punish you more than that for leaving without permission." He scolded angrily with a scowl upon his face.

Astrid touched her stinging cheek as she straightened her posture to meet his gaze once more.

"Forgive me." She apologized once again, turning away from him.

Bard took her by the hand, holding it tightly, causing a pain to go up her arm. He slammed her body onto the table face-first and laid down onto her back. She moved her free hand along the rigid, splintery table top hoping to find something to save her from him. An inch of wax was left on the burning thin candle, leaving the flame to be small and slowly dying. Nothing.

"You shall be punished for not being a good slave." Bard grumbled, grinding up against her back.

Astrid let out a painful grown before elbowing him in the face, causing blood to flow from his nose. He grabbed his face without hesitation, regaining himself from his injury.

"I am your slave, yes, but I will never be your bed-slave." Astrid shouted. "I would rather die first."

Bard hovered over Astrid, who stood sternly.

"Do not worry, death is coming for you dear." Bard replied, spitting out a mouthful of blood. "Soon enough."

Bard stormed out of the house, slamming the heavy door behind him. Astrid wondered how no one heard the commotion in the room. Perhaps they did hear and just did not care what happened to her. She did not know for sure what was going through their head but she know now that she would overcome and win. Winning was a priority.

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