Chapter 21

Leilas pov

The grass feels damp under my paws after the light drizzle this morning as I creep towards my prey making sure to keep downwind so the herd of elk doesn't sense me stalking them. I passed by a herd of bison earlier, but even though I am strong, a bison just isn't worth the danger of taking them down. Elk, on the other hand, that is a easy prey. My muscles tense and slightly shake with suspense as I assess which of the elk is the right choice to target. I can see a few young, but I was always a bit of a softie when it came to the young and could never quite enjoy my meal without thinking I was basically eating someones kid.

My eyes zero in on a careless individual straying slightly from the herd, and with that, my choice is made. I crouch down and creep as close as I can, but just as I'm about to make my move one of the elks jerks it's head up, damnit, the wind just shifted. The whole herd, now alerted by the smell of a predator, sprints into action, trying to get away but I won't give up that easily. I spring up, using my powerful hind legs to propel myself toward my now fleeing dinner. I manage to get close enough to jump on it's back. She screams out in pain and terror as my claws sink into her flank, then she topples over because of the added weight. So I make my move and without my claws letting go of her I move towards her neck and get a good grip with my teeth, sinking them deep into her windpipe, effectively cutting off her air supply. Before I manage to lay down in the best position to protect myself she kicks her feet desperately and does manage to kick me hard straight in the stomach, but like hell if I'm letting go now. I can feel the will to fight leave her as her body start to give in to the lack of oxygen, and after a few minutes the kicking and jerking stops and her body goes still and lax in my grip. Dinner is served.

As I start to rip the carcass open and eat I can feel that the kicks she got in managed to break a couple of ribs and pierce my skin in places, but I will heal in no time, and I figure she more than earned the right to wound me a little given that I'm currently eating her. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen, right? And man, I would really like a kitchen right now. I don't mind eating my meat raw, and I know my tiger prefers it that way. But in the week since I left the pack I have only eaten raw, and I would really love a burger and some fries right about now, or pizza, or a steak with owen roasted potatoes, or a hot dog, or a brownie, or ice cream, or.... You get my point, I miss processed food with lots of e's.

And I miss my brother, I wonder how he and Anders are coming along? They seemed to be all lovey dovey, but for all I know his flight instincts may have cut in by now. This is the first time since birth that we have spent more than a day apart and it feels strange. I also miss the new friends I made in the pack, I never really had friends before, we moved around too often for that, so even though I find it strange that I managed to find friends in a wolf pack I really do miss them.

But what pisses me off is the fact that I miss that fuck face Axel, and I miss him to the point of struggling to sleep. Whenever I think about him I feel like there is ice in my chest and my heart feels like it skips beats. Why the hell would that asshole make me feel like this? He told me point blank he was disappointed to have me as a mate, and the only reason he wants me is because of his wolf. I know a werewolves wolf is more of a separate entity than my tiger is to me, it has it's own opinions and desires, but the fact that only one half of him wants me really hurts me. And I hate him for that, no other man or woman has ever had this kind of grip on my heart. It scares the shit out of me to know that the man has the power to hurt me. It makes me feel vulnerable and that is a feeling I will do my best to avoid. Let the bastard find some other mate, I will be just fine on my own.

Deep down even I scoff at that though, I know I'm not fine.

After finishing my meal I head for a lake I passed on my way to the herd, I'm covered in blood and a bath would feel good right about now. The second I step away from the leftovers of my meal crows descend from above and start cawing and making a real racket trying to fight each other over the food, they must be the most annoying birds there is. No wait, that would be seagulls. I hate seagulls, whenever I'm by the water I just wait for those winged devils to take a crap on my head.

I let my tiger take over for a while, I know how much she enjoys the water and even though I don't directly talk to her I know she is feeling sad after leaving Kyle, the pack and he who shall not be named. Jumping head first into the water she splashes around and plays for a while, then just swims and floats about in the water enjoying the feeling of the coolness seeping past the fur and the sun rays shining down from above.

Suddenly there is a change in the air and I can feel a presence nearby. I take back partial control and scent the air, the smell that hits my nose is nothing but heavenly. There is no doubt in my mind what that smell is, I haven't smelled it in over a week, and it really hits me just how much I have missed it. As I change my gaze towards the shore I see a wolf standing there, he seems frozen in place, just staring at me. Then he seems to snap out of it and makes a happy yipping sound.

I'm torn, do I swim towards him and see what he wants? Yeah like I wouldn't know that. Or do I turn and swim in the opposite direction? I'm a fast enough swimmer that I know he won't be able to reach the shore on the other side before me, and then I can book it and try to lose him. But if he went through the trouble of tracking me this far it doesn't seem realistic that he will just think 'whatever' and leave me alone. So I decide to head for him and talk. But as I head his way my damn tiger manages to take full control again and as we reach the shore she propels out of the water, with all the different feelings running through our body I'm not quite sure what she will do and I'm actually a little worried that she might attack Axel, or is this Arlo? I can see the worry in his eyes too, I'm sure it can be a little disconcerting having a huge tiger charge at you, but to his credit, he holds his ground.

As it turns out I don't need to worry. When she gets to the wolf she lunges at him and tackles him to the ground with her bigger body, but instead of ripping into his flesh she starts to purr and drags her tongue over his face. With loud purrs that make her whole body vibrate, she starts grooming every inch of him she can get too. But as she starts to shift to get to his stomach I force my control back, cause there is no chance I will let my tongue clean the guys stomach and knowing what a hormone driven tiger I have she is likely to groom other parts too.

After getting back control I push myself of his body and step away, laying down in the grass I wait for him to make the first move. But he isn't getting up, he just moves his body and lays his head on his paws, he lays there staring at me with a tired but happy look in his eyes. Right now I could have used the pack link so we could communicate, but that was severed when I left, so no luck there. He makes a sound somewhere between a huff and a whine and his eyes seem to get heavier, then the weirdo falls asleep. What the hell?

I stay patiently for what seems like hours, probably is, but he doesn't wake up. If it hadn't been for the fact that his chest is rising and sinking at a slow but regular pace I would be worried he might be dead. But he seems to just be exhausted and I honestly don't have the heart to wake him up, so let him sleep.

Turns out though, even my heart has its limits, and after what has to be at least five hours my patience is wearing thin and I decide it's time to wake up the wolf. So I get up and walk over to where he is laying, I show my nose into his neck and shift him a little but the man doesn't even stir a little. Well, I tried the nice way, time for the rough way. I move over to his tail and chump my teeth down, hard. He springs up with a loud yelp, and turn to defend himself with bared teeth. But as soon as he understands that I was the one to attack him he just sags down and goes limp again. What is up with Mr. Warrior being Mr. Submissive all of a sudden?

I think it's time to have a conversation, with actual words but to do that we need to shift. So I nudge him a little and tilt my head in the direction of a little town nearby, hopefully we can steal some clothes there cause I don't feel comfortable talking to him naked. He seems a bit confused, but when I start jogging in the direction I motioned for he quickly starts to follow. His movement seems sluggish and not like himself at all.

Luckily the sun is starting to set as we sneak towards the town and adding to that luck we manage to find a clothesline with some clothes, I find a dress, way too big, but a dress none the less so that's not bad. Axel on the other hand only finds an old torn pair of tidy whities, well they used to be white, now they're more of a yellowish brown.

We head back towards the woods surrounding the town and I trot behind a tree and shift back, I haven't been in my human form all week so I stretch and try my best to work out the kinks that always form when I spend so much time in my tiger form.

As I step out from behind the tree I can't stop myself from laughing out loud at the sight that greets me, Axel in his saggy grandpa underwear with holes along the elastics is just too comical. I put my hand over my mouth trying to stifle my laugh, but as I study him a little more closely it gets easier to stop. He looks like death, he has visibly lost both weight and muscle mass and his face looks pale to the point of almost being grey and he has black circles under his eyes. His looks are suddenly not as funny.

"What the hell has happened to you? You look like your gonna drop dead any minute." Maybe a bit blunt, but who cares?

He just gives me tired smile and shrugs, "Well, I might drop dead, that's what happens when a werewolf is rejected by its mate."

"Woah, what? You guys die? Why not just find someone else?" That's just ridicules, there are millions of people he could date besides me, dying seems a bit over the top.

"There is no one else for us Leila, you're it. If you don't want us there is no reason to live, my wolf gives up first and when that happens my body dies soon after." There is no accusation in his voice, just a tired surrender. And my heart feels like it's going to tear apart as I look at him.

I just stand there looking at him without saying a word. "I have a hard time believing that you can't just give me up and find someone else, I meant what I said, I can't be yours. You rejected me first you know."

It's like my words are physically hurting him, he falls to his knees clutching his head and the sounds coming from him are the saddest thing I have ever heard. When he looks back at me his eyes are yellow, not the bright yellow I have seen before but a duller yellow, but I know Arlo is sitting on the ground before me now.

"I beg you to reconsider, I beg you to try to get to know me and Axel. I'm not afraid of dying, but the thought of leaving you is breaking me, I need to be here, to make sure that you are safe and taken care of. Please come back with us, there is no pressure, just come with us and get to know us. Don't give up on the purest love you will ever experience, no one can love you as much as me and Axel." Ok, I have to admit that that is damn convincing, but is this really what Axel wants?

"But what about Axel? Does he really want me, or is he just afraid of dying? That is one hell of a motivator after all. I'm not convinced that he wants me, he was clearly disappointed when he found me."

His eyes go back to their normal brown as Axel takes over. "I will admit that I was a stupid asshole who didn't just take you in my arms the second we met but I was, and still am, an idiot. I blamed your entire race for what one man did and I hate myself for it. I hate that I hurt you, and if you let me I will spend the rest of my life making up for that. You will be, no you ARE loved. I love you, more than you will ever know. I have from the moment I smelled your heavenly scent, but I was too stubborn to admit it." The man was crying now, and my own vision was getting suspiciously blurry too.

He seems to get it together a little bit as he stands back up, "I know I owe you an explanation as to why I disliked tigers in the first place. Will you please listen to what I have to say?" The look in his eyes are so pleading that to deny him would feel like kicking a puppy, and I wouldn't want that.

"Fine, I'll listen, but if I after hearing what you have to say still think you're full of shit you will get the hell out of my sight and leave me alone!"

"That's fair," he heads for a fallen tree and sits down, motioning for me to join him, but I remain standing.

"I'm listening, now talk."

He sighs but starts talking, "Did you know I used to have a best friend named Tommy when I was a kid?" The faraway look in his eyes tells me he is focused on something that can't be seen by me, and without giving me chance to answer he just keeps talking, "We used to do everything together and I loved that kid more than anyone or anything in this world, my parents were even convinced that we were mates because of our tight bond." He glances at me when he says that, but he quickly returns to the past.

"We were stupid kids, always doing things we weren't supposed to be doing, and one of our favorite things to do was to play alone in the woods. One day while we were playing, like we did most days, we met a man............"

As I listen to his story I can't help but feel grief and shed tears for the young boy who had his innocence ripped away from him, and I understand that both Tommy and Axel were victims by what the man did.

But as he stops talking and waits for some kind of response from me I find it hard to gather my thoughts into coherent sentences. On one hand, I understand, I do, that he saw tigers as his enemy after such an experience, he was a child and children are not known for their reasoning skills. But on the other hand, he's a damn adult now, he should know better than to judge an entire race for something one person did. I have experienced a lot of bad crap from wolves, but do I judge them all because of it? Okay fine, I did. But I gave them a chance, and after getting to know them I now know that they are mostly good people with a few assholes thrown in. But Axel never gave me a chance, he just looked at me and thought 'tiger' and that was that. Sure, he came around, but that was only after Arlo convinced him. So how can I trust that he is not just doing what Arlo wants? Just telling me sweet things trying to save himself?

I'm now pacing back and forth in front of him as he silently looks at me, waiting for me to talk. But what does he want me to say?

"I hate this!" He startles at my sudden words, and he slouches down as he realizes that I'm not just gonna jump into his arms. "I hate that you have the power to make me doubt myself, I'm usually a confident person but with one word you can crush that confidence." He straightens up and opens his mouth to speak.

"Shut up, this is not your time to speak, this is mine. I listened to you, now you listen to me." He closes his mouth and gestures for me to continue.

"I hate that you might have the power to destroy me, and I really hate that you make me want to try this," I make a circular motion between us, "'this' meaning us."

Now he's more alert, staring at me with hope for the first time today, "I would never hurt you, I would never do anything that could cause you pain. I want to be with you, I want to be yours, that is all I will ever want!" He gets up and takes my hands in his.

And there they are, those damn tingles making me feel like everything would be right in the world if I only keep holding his hand.

"Please tell me that you will give us another chance!"

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I had to cut the chapter somewhere, soooo, yeah....

Next chapter will continue on where this one ended. Now, I've been working a lot lately, which means I don't have much time to write, so I'm not sure if I will find the time to write and publish more than one chapter this week.

What would you like to see happen, should she kick him to the curb, or give him a chance?

Vote, comment, follow!