A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire: Chapter 11

I was to be married.

That was the last thought I had before falling asleep and the first thought I had upon waking—both of which I’d done alone.

Casteel had left shortly after I agreed, Delano having summoned him. I ended up falling asleep, and the only reason I knew he’d returned in the middle of the night was because I’d woken at some point with the warmth of his body inches from mine. I’d lain there for far too long, listening to the steady sound of his breathing, fighting the urge to roll over and look at him. He was gone when I woke, and I was relieved—this time for different reasons than before.

I needed to wrap my head around what I had agreed to, and I tried to do so as I stood in front of the dimly lit vanity in the bathing chamber, tackling the knots in my hair as if they had the answers to all my questions.

The marriage was real…yet not. A business arrangement that would give both of us what we wanted. His brother. Land. My brother. Freedom. And maybe even an end to a war that hadn’t even begun yet.

Well, hopefully, we would gain what we desired.

How could I not agree? If I said no, and Casteel truly let me go, stashing me away where no one could find me—if that were even possible—I would still need to see Ian. This way, I wasn’t doing it alone. I may be Casteel’s key to the King and Queen, but I had enough intelligence and common sense to recognize that he was also the safest and smartest path to my brother.

But that wasn’t the only reason I had agreed.

Despite Casteel’s lies and betrayals, I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to walk away, leaving Casteel to save his brother and possibly even his people through different means. Even though I had been given little opportunity to discover who I was as a person, I knew enough about myself to realize that I wouldn’t have found a moment of peace in whatever freedom I had. Not after everything I’d learned, and not when there was something I could do.

But marriage?

It had been so long since little-girl fantasies of weddings and the possibility of being tied to an Ascended—something that, at the time, I hadn’t known would never happen—had filled me with fear and panic.

This marriage filled me with panic and fear too, but for very, very different reasons. We would have to behave as if we wanted one another in a way that went beyond the physical. We’d have to act as if we were in love. And that was dangerous. Even with my lack of experience in all things, I knew this. What I already felt for him in spite of everything felt like a slippery slope. It would be hard enough to pretend to be together so we could convince his people of our relationship and not be affected by it. There needed to be boundaries. Lines. I was still a pawn. Only now, I was an active one.

I couldn’t forget that.

I wouldn’t.

Another worry manifested. How were we going to convince anyone that we were in a loving relationship when I’d publicly refused the proposal and insinuated, rather clearly, that I thought he’d lost his mind?

How was I supposed to even act? All I had as examples were my parents, and from what I could remember, everything about their love—the long looks and the way they constantly touched one another—had been natural. Something that couldn’t be faked or forced. And the rest of the relationships I’d seen regularly were those of the Ascended, and I’d never seen the Duke and Duchess touch each other. Even Ian never spoke of his wife in any of the letters he sent. Not once beyond announcing their marriage—something I hadn’t been allowed to attend. Then, Queen Ileana’s refusal to allow me to travel had been positioned as a safety concern. But now, I wondered if it was something more.

I should’ve questioned more then, but I had become complacent in the Ascended’s absolute control of me. How did that happen? How did the people of Solis get to the point where so very few questioned handing over their children? Some even happily did so, feeling honored. Was it fear? Misinformation? Lack of access to education and resources? There were so many reasons why, and even more for those who had begun to suspect that things were not as they seemed, yet had made excuses.

Like I had.

Because seeing the truth was terrifying.

And what if Casteel’s plan worked? I saw Ian and…dealt with how that turned out. Then what? Would the Ascended truly change? Would the people of Atlantia be satisfied? And how would we know if the Ascended were following the new rules, living a more restricted life? Even if they did, I doubted the divide between those who lived in places like Radiant Row and the slums by the Rise would suddenly evaporate. The wheel the Ascended created would continue to turn, wouldn’t it? Or would losing the Queen and King scatter the rest of the Ascended, forcing them into a new way of life?

I didn’t know the answers to any of that. All I did know was that the people of Solis couldn’t continue to be preyed upon. And if I could help stop that, then I would.

That was a purpose far greater than the one I’d lived with as the Maiden. It was real. It would change lives. It made me feel as if I had been chosen for something that mattered.

But none of that told me how I was supposed to act in a loving relationship. The Ascended always came across as if they were somehow removed from physical needs, but I knew that wasn’t always the case. Though Duke Teerman’s and Lord Mazeen’s perversions were not good examples of how to behave in a relationship.

My heart beat too fast in my chest as a knock sounded. A moment later, the door cracked open, and Kieran called out, “Want breakfast?”

“Yes.” Dropping the brush, I hurried from the bathing chamber.

Kieran held the door open for me. “Someone is very hungry.”

I wasn’t sure I could consume even a mouthful of food. I stepped out into the walkway to see that the snow had stopped, even though the wind still whipped through the trees, sending the fallen snow whirling across the yard.

“Will we be leaving soon?” I asked. “Since the snow has stopped?”

“I believe Alastir and some of the others will leave later today to check the roads to our east, to see if they’re passable. I hope so since the storm didn’t stretch very far to the west.”

Meaning the roads from Masadonia, or even the capital, wouldn’t be as impassable. “Do you think they realized we haven’t shown at our next location yet?”

“I don’t think so. We have time. Not much, but some,” he said.

It was weird to feel relief, almost as if it were a betrayal of some sort, even though I knew it wasn’t.

“So, Penellaphe. For once, I have a question for you,” Kieran drawled as we entered the stairwell.

I glanced over at him. “Okay?”

“How’s it feel to be on the verge of becoming a real Princess?”

“He told you already?” I didn’t know why that should surprise me. Casteel had probably seen Kieran last night.

“Of course, he did. I probably knew his plans had changed before he did.”

My eyes narrowed. “I’m willing to bet his plans changed when he realized I was part Atlantian.”

He smiled, and the expression hid a wealth of mysteries. “His plans changed well before that. But like I said, he hadn’t quite realized that.”

“But you did? You know him that well?”

“I do.”

“Well, good for you,” I muttered.

He chuckled. “I can’t wait to see how you two are going to pull this off.”

My pulse skittered like a wild horse. “What does that mean?”

Kieran slid me a knowing look as we entered the bustling common area. “Not a minute has gone by since we left the Blood Forest that you aren’t threatening Casteel’s life.”

“That’s an exaggeration. There’s definitely been… Several minutes have gone by.” I cringed, but Kieran had a point.

“I guess we’ll find out soon.”

I was too nervous to wonder if anyone was shooting me hateful looks as we went into the otherwise empty banquet hall and took our seats at the table. Chairs had now replaced benches.

Food was brought out—sausage and eggs, along with those amazing biscuits. Somehow, I got past the twisting of my stomach to snatch one of those. I was far quieter this morning as I ate my food. The reason why appeared just as I finished what I could eat. Kieran looked over his shoulder, and I knew who had arrived.

Slowly, I peeked behind me. Casteel walked into the room with Alastir and several of the men at his side. Alastir spoke to him as Casteel looked straight to where Kieran and I sat. Our gazes seemed to lock for a moment, and then I quickly looked away, heart back to thundering in my chest.

“Casteel will announce you as his fiancée.” Kieran lowered his cup. “It will be wise to behave appropriately.”

My eyes narrowed on Kieran’s profile. “Do you think I’m going to scream in Casteel’s face and run off instead?”

A hint of a smile appeared. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Rolling my eyes, I peeked at the doors. The group had stopped just inside the room, speaking with Naill, who, like the rest of them, had a habit of seemingly appearing out of nowhere. “Do you think he’ll believe us?”

“Yet another question?” Kieran leaned back, crossing his arms. “Seriously? Do you ever get tired of asking so many?”

“Apparently, you don’t, since you just asked three of them.”

He chuckled then. “I think it will be tough to convince Alastir.”

I stared at him. “That’s really motivational. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

One quick glance, and I saw that they were still by the doors. “How do you know he will announce that I agreed to the marriage? Did he tell you?”

“No.”

“Then how do you know?”

“I just know things.”

I pinned him with a bland look. “I know you two are close, but…” Something occurred to me. The bond. “I read that some Atlantians of a certain class and wolven have bonds.”

“Did you?” he murmured.

“Yes. It is believed the wolven are duty-bound to protect the Atlantian they’re bonded to.”

“Are you going to eat that biscuit?” he asked.

Brows knitting, I shook my head. “You can have it.”

Kieran picked up the roll and immediately began tearing it into tiny pieces, reminding me of how the small rodents the Healers kept in cages ripped apart their paper bedding.

I shoved that image out of my head. “I’m thinking the history texts had the part about the bond being with a certain Atlantian class wrong. It’s a certain bloodline. Elemental.”

“You’d be right.” He popped a piece of the bread into his mouth. “I could live off this bread.”

“The bread is…tasty.” I kind of wished I hadn’t let him have it. “The bond between you two is more than just you protecting him, isn’t it?”

“We were bonded at birth, and the connection is a lot of things, Penellaphe.”

I was about to demand details, like if he could somehow sense what Casteel was about to do or not, but the sound of approaching footsteps quelled the desire. My heart, which had only slowed down slightly, started pounding again. Casteel and the men were coming over, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Smile prettily and behave as if Casteel hung the very moon and stars each and every night? My shoulders tightened as I tried to picture myself doing that. And for some reason, the scars on my face became bigger and more visible in my mind.

“Are you hyperventilating?” Kieran asked.

“What?” I stared at my plate. “No.”

“You’re breathing very fast.”

Was I? Oh gods, I was. Why was I behaving like—?

“You should calm yourself,” he advised. “As I said, it is very unlikely that Alastir will believe Casteel. The others will follow his lead.”

“Yet again,” I muttered. “Not helpful.”

I didn’t get a chance to demand to know why Alastir would hold that kind of sway.

Before Kieran could respond, I heard Alastir say something to him, and honestly, it sounded like a different language. My ears only started to process sounds when I heard Casteel say my name.

Blood rushed to the tempo of a pounding drum as years of expected behavior and grooming kicked in on an unconscious level. I felt myself standing.

Casteel touched the small of my back, the contact light yet I felt it in nearly every part of my body. My gaze slowly lifted to his, and the intensity in those amber depths held me captive. I thought I saw something akin to concern settling into his features. Was I still breathing too fast?

“Penellaphe?” he repeated.

“I’m sorry.” Feeling a little dizzy, I blinked. “Did you say something?”

“I asked if you were finished with breakfast.” Casteel watched me closely.

“Yes.” I nodded for extra emphasis.

“Good.” He took hold of my hand as he tucked my hair back from my face, brushing the heavy strands over my shoulder. The act was an intimate gesture I wasn’t used to, and the look that settled in my features told me that he was growing concerned.

I needed to pull myself together.

If I could stand and remain silent during Duke Teerman’s lessons, I could behave as if I weren’t about to fall to the floor now.

Fixing a smile to my face, I turned to Alastir as I pulled forth manners learned long ago. “Hello, Alastir. I hope you had a good evening?”

A slight curve to his lips formed as he inclined his head. “It was. Thank you for asking.” He noted where Casteel held my hand and then arched a brow at Kieran. “It’s very polite of her to ask, unlike either of you.”

Kieran sounded as if he choked on air, and on my other side, I thought I heard a muffled snort. I squeezed Casteel’s hand. Hard. “I’m learning that these two are not very well mannered,” I said. “I apologize for their lack of consideration.”

Alastir’s gaze swiveled back to me as Emil grinned from where he stood, speaking with Naill. A deep laugh left Alastir, crinkling the skin around his eyes. My lips parted on a soft inhale. That laugh. All I could think of was Vikter, and my heart ached fiercely.

“These two are definitely not ones I’d consider well-behaved under any circumstances,” Alastir replied.

Casteel looked down at me, and I thought I saw an apology in his stare, as if he weren’t thrilled with how this might play out. He said nothing, even though Alastir waited, and others watched. He returned the squeeze, nowhere near as hard as I had done. Did he want me to…read him? I opened my senses, and what I tasted all of a sudden was a mix of sour and vanilla. Shame and sincerity. He wasn’t proud of this. Either that, or I was deciphering his emotions wrong. That could be possible, but I didn’t think so. I nodded, and his lashes lowered, shielding his eyes for the briefest moment.

And then I saw it.

The mask slipping into place, curving up the corner of his lip in a smug twist of a smile. His features sharpened, and when he opened his eyes again, they reminded me of chips of amber.

“I hear congratulations are in order,” Alastir said, drawing my attention to him. The laughter had long since faded. “The Prince told me this morning that you accepted his proposal.”

“I did.”

“I must be honest, when he told me, I thought I might’ve drunk too much last night. I didn’t believe him when he said he was marrying, especially the Maiden.”

“She is not the Maiden,” Casteel cut in swiftly. “Not anymore.” He let go of my hand and moved it to my back again.

I felt an inexplicable warming in my chest, one that left me greatly unsettled.

Alastir cocked an eyebrow. “I would imagine she’s not,” he said, and my eyes widened slightly. “But she was the Maiden.” He shifted his attention to Casteel. “Who she was may be in the past, but that does not change that past.”

The hand at my back flattened as Casteel replied, “The past is irrelevant.”

“Do you really believe that?” Alastir mused.

“What I believe doesn’t matter.” Casteel’s palm slid off my back, leaving behind a shiver. He took my hand once more. “What does matter is that everyone else believes that.”

“Spoken like a true Prince. Your mother and father would be proud.” Alastir grunted out a short, dry laugh as his gaze roamed over me once more, lingering on the side of my neck, where my hair had fallen over my shoulder. There was no doubt that he saw the faded marks. The line of his mouth tightened. “I’m glad you’re here, Penellaphe, as we’ve only had a few moments to speak, and I have many questions.”

“I can imagine,” I murmured.

Casteel tugged gently on my hand. “Sit with me?”

Nodding, I started for the seat I’d just risen from, but Casteel moved to the chair at the head of the table. He sat, and it only struck me then where he planned for me to sit. Not in a chair but in his lap. I hesitated. There was no way I was sitting in his lap. Over my shoulder, I saw the others take their seats while Kieran moved to stand at Casteel’s left, and Alastir took the chair to his right, where I’d been seated earlier.

Casteel looked up at me, the twist of his lips softening. What now filled his gaze was a challenge. My eyes narrowed, and he arched a brow. There was nowhere else to sit. The only other option would be to stand behind him like a servant, and I refused to do that. There was a space at the end—

“Would you like this seat, Penellaphe?” Alastir offered.

Knowing that seating at tables was often a demonstration of one’s position, I knew I shouldn’t accept the offer.

“My fiancée is upset with me,” Casteel announced, surprising me enough that I turned to him.

“I can’t imagine Penellaphe ever being upset with you,” Kieran commented, and I had the strongest urge to lean over and punch him.

“I know.” Casteel’s smile was wider now, more real. The dimple in his left cheek was starting to make an appearance, and the hint of fangs caused my stomach to dip at the same time my ire spiked. “But I admit, I deserve it.”

I stilled, unsure what he was about.

“You’re not even married, and you’re already upsetting her?” Emil chuckled. “That’s not a good start.”

“No, it’s not, which is why I must rectify this immediately. I’m sorry,” he said, the smile fading as his eyes met mine. “Truly. It wasn’t planned.”

My skin pimpled. Was he apologizing for me not being prepared for this, in front of others?

Casteel shifted, curling an arm around my waist. So caught off guard by his words, I ended up sitting sideways in his lap. He dipped his chin, and his lips brushed the curve of my ear as he whispered, “I thought I would have time to speak to you first.”

I nodded slightly.

His lips were a featherlight caress across my cheek, and then he said louder, “I didn’t plan the proposal, and to be honest, it wasn’t the very best, as many within Haven Keep witnessed, even those at the table. She actually told me no at first.”

“That was not the only thing she said,” Naill commented with a chuckle. “Told him he was out of his mind. Told him a lot of things.”

Did that Atlantian have a death wish?

Casteel laughed. “It’s true, but I won her over, didn’t I?”

The answering masculine chuckles caused my skin to prickle with irritation. My tongue moved before I could stop myself. “That was after I threw a knife at your face.”

Alastir made a coughing sound as Kieran’s and my plates were removed and replaced with food. “Excuse me?”

“Yes.” Casteel’s eyes were like warm pools of gold. “That was after you threw the knife at me. I haven’t been the best of suitors,” he continued, lifting my left hand. “I promised her the largest diamond I could find as soon as we return home.”

“Well,” Alastir drew out the word as he picked up a fork. “That is something that can be easily fixed upon returning. Our Queen has just what you need in safekeeping.”

His mother had a diamond ring? For Casteel? For when he married? My spine couldn’t be more rigid. Why had I brought up the stupid jewelry? I didn’t even care about it since I…well, I’d never been allowed to wear any beyond the golden chains of the veil.

“Casteel hasn’t exactly been forthcoming with information on how you two met.” Alastir bit into his sausage, not taking the time to slice and dice it as Kieran had. “I wanted to ask when we last spoke. How did you end up in the incorrigible hands of our Prince, Penellaphe? I imagined someone of your…status would’ve been hard to reach, especially by someone like him.”

Casteel let out a low laugh. “You should have more faith in my abilities to achieve what I want.”

I tensed, feeling like those words were meant more for me than Alastir.

“Be that as it may,” Alastir said with a wry grin, “how did he find a way to you?”

Wondering how honest I was expected to be and precisely what kind of rumors he’d heard, I decided to be as truthful as possible. In the past, I’d learned that most lies were successful when the little information given was the truth. “He became my guard.”

“Well, that’s not how we met initially.” Casteel’s hand that rested on the curve of my hip moved, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. “It was actually at a brothel.”

Someone at the table sounded as if they choked on their food. I was betting it was Emil.

A fair brow rose as Alastir chewed slowly. “That was…unexpected.”

“The Red Pearl isn’t just a brothel,” I corrected, turning a narrow-eyed glare on Casteel.

He grinned. “It’s not?”

“Card games are played there.”

“That wasn’t the only games being played there, Princess.” His thumb moved along the inside of my hip, causing my stomach to whoosh. “Penellaphe had a habit of sneaking out and exploring the city at night.”

I nibbled on the inside of my lip as I tore my gaze from Casteel. Had he known how often I did that? He had said that he’d been watching me for longer than I realized.

“What I know of the Maiden—and, yes, Casteel, I know she’s no longer the Maiden, but that was what she was,” he added before Casteel could correct him. “The Ascensions of the others were tied to yours, weren’t they? And again, I am sorry that you were raised in such a web of lies told by the Ascended.”

Several at the table cursed at the mention of the Ascended.

“Thank you. And yes, you’re right.” I frowned slightly. “Or they were. I don’t know if their Ascensions will be carried out now.”

“Hopefully, they won’t,” Delano remarked.

“I agree,” I said quietly, thinking of Ian.

“Do you?” Alastir asked. “Truly?”

“I do,” I admitted. “I didn’t know who or what the Ascended really were. I, like most people within the Kingdom of Solis, only knew what I was shown.”

“Then I expect many are blind to what is right in front of them,” someone commented, a younger man with rich brown hair toward the end of the table.

“Many live in fear of being ripped apart by the Craven or displeasing the Ascended and angering the gods,” I replied. Casteel’s arm tightened around my waist, his hand squeezing my hip gently. Was that some sort of message? I had no idea, nor did I care. The people of Solis were victims just as much as the Atlantians were. “Many are also more worried about providing for their families and keeping them safe than they are about questioning what the Ascended tell them.”

“Are they so distracted by their daily struggles that they don’t question handing over their children to the Court or to gods they’ve never seen?” Alastir asked. “Or are they just that submissive?”

“I wouldn’t confuse submission for distraction, and I wouldn’t mistake obedience for stupidity when it’s apparent that you know very little about the people of Solis,” I stated coolly.

Alastir’s gaze swung to mine.

“What they have been told about the Atlantians, about the gods and the Craven, is all they know. Generation after generation, they’re taught to believe in the Rite and how much of an honor it is for their third sons and daughters to serve the gods. Raised to believe that only the Ascended and the gods stand between them and the Craven. I was raised the same way.” I leaned forward, a little surprised to find that Casteel didn’t stop me. “The gods belong to the people of Atlantia, do they not? Do your people believe in them even though they’ve never seen them?”

Silence fell around the table.

It was Kieran who answered. “The gods have slept for hundreds of years, and only the oldest among the Atlantians can remember seeing them. But we believe in them nonetheless.”

I smiled tightly. “Just as the people of Solis believe in them.”

“But not everyone within Solis follows King Jalara and Queen Ileana,” Alastir pointed out. “There are many who have seen the truth, who support Atlantia.”

“You’re right. The Descenters.” I exhaled slowly. “I know I’ve had my suspicions throughout my life. I’m sure many others have, as well, but for whatever reason, their eyes haven’t been fully opened. I imagine a lot of that has to do with the stability of what one knows, even if it isn’t comfortable. And I suppose a lot has to do with fear of acknowledging what is truly around us, what it means for us and those we care for.”

Alastir leaned back, eyeing me. “It’s admirable.”

“What is?”

“Your utter lack of fear when speaking to me—talking to any of us—when you know what we are,” he said. “What we are capable of.”

I met his stare. “I’m not foolish enough to not feel fear when I know that any of you could kill me before I even have a chance to take my last breath. But fearing what you’re capable of doesn’t mean I fear you.”

Casteel leaned in, his voice in my ear. “Still so incredibly brave,” he murmured, and that inexplicable warming returned to my chest.

“I like her,” Alastir said to Casteel after a heartbeat, and I thought he might actually mean that. Then, I did what Kieran had suggested. I used my abilities once more. My senses stretched out, connecting to Alastir. I didn’t sense anger from him, but there was the tanginess I often associated with sadness. I wasn’t sure what could’ve evoked that response, but I thought he was being honest.

“But back to how you and the Prince met at this…unique establishment. How was that possible?” Alastir’s fingers tapped idly on the table, and I swore there was a collective sigh of relief that the topic had moved on. “With the Ascensions being tied to you, I was under the impression that you were well guarded and kept…” He trailed off as if he searched for the right word to use.

“Sheltered?” I suggested. “Caged? I was. For the most part,” I added. “I wasn’t permitted to travel freely, only allowed to leave my room with one of my guards or my companion, and that was only to attend classes with the Priestess or to walk the castle grounds during certain times.”

Emil stopped, his cup halfway to his mouth, his brows knitting together. His eyes were a vibrant gold. “And the rest of the time, you were expected to remain in your room? Even for meals?”

I nodded.

The Atlantian looked stunned, and someone murmured under their breath.

“But you found a way to sneak out. I imagine that’s extremely risky behavior. Someone could’ve taken you at any time during those explorations,” Alastir pointed out.

What I felt from him was…more guarded than a few moments before, but I still didn’t detect the acidic burn of anger or hatred. If anything, he was more reserved then the last time we’d spoken, as was I.

“Someone did take her. Obviously,” Casteel spoke up then, his thumb now tracing a distractingly slow, steady circle.

“Ah, yes, you did take her.” Alastir inclined his chin. “But do you really intend to keep her?”