Kissed by Shadows: Chapter 8

“How the fuck did she get away, Nikolai?” my father seethes, his harsh tone cracking across me like the whip he used to use on me in my training. “Were you so cunt drunk that you just didn’t notice?”

“I’m sorry, Papa,” I reply, my jaw wound tight like a coiled spring as I stand before him, head bowed as a sign of respect, my hands clasped in front of me.

He sighs, the sound making the hair on my arms stand on end. “It’s not good enough, Nikolai, and you’ll be the one to get her back. I hear she’s with the Shadows, you’ll go there tonight and convince them to give back what belongs to us.”

Ice runs through my veins, knowing that I will be treading a very thin line. I won’t convince them of anything, but I need to be able to appear like I’m at least trying.

The door to my father’s study opens, the heavy sound of booted footsteps entering behind me. I don’t flinch or look to see who it is. Two sets by the sounds of it. Probably Igor and Vlad, my father’s right-hand men.

“And now for your correction, something I thought we’d put behind us,” Sergi Petrov muses, and I glance up to watch him take a gun from his desk drawer, clicking off the safety before pointing it at my head. “You will take your punishment like a man, no fighting back, or you know the consequences.” He’d shoot me. He’s always made it clear that although I may be his son and heir, I was also expendable if I didn’t live up to his high expectations. “Igor, Vlad, you may begin.”

The first hit has my head snapping to the side, copper filling my mouth. I don’t dare spit it out, instead swallowing my own blood as blow after blow brings me to my knees. I don’t go down any further, knowing that it’ll only be worse for me if I go lower than my knees. My father may enjoy my submission, but he loathes any kind of weakness. I don’t defend myself, knowing from bitter experience that will only prolong my punishment.

The pains of the blows soon turn into a throbbing agony that fills my entire body, and only the thought that this is for her, the other half of my soul, keeps me from passing out completely. I’ve lost count of how many times her light has guided me through these beatings, her bright smile keeping me conscious. I picture all the letters she sent, her complaints of the other society girls who she used to say were nothing but vapid bitches. Reading about her normal life was my only solace.

“That’s enough,” Sergi says, his voice sounding tinny and as if from a distance as my ears ring. “Get up and get out of my sight.”

Taking a deep breath, wincing when my ribs flare—probably at least bruised—I unsteadily get to my feet, wavering slightly. Placing one foot in front of the other, I limp out of his office, my back ramrod straight and my mask firmly in place so none of his men see my pain.

I picture Iris calling me, her soft form waiting for me as I make my way slowly up the stairs of my father’s mansion to my wing. It’s not unlike her house, although I always felt more at home in those walls than I ever did here. The only other place that I felt remotely at ease was in Russia, away from my father. I spent several years there in and out of the juvenile prison system, making connections and earning my title as vory v zakone, a thief-in-law. It’s where I got most of my ink, a permanent reminder of the crimes I have committed all because my father subscribes to the old ways.

Well, not all of them. He recognises the need for a legitimate business to keep the illegitimate side running, but the anti-establishment mentality? He believes in that wholeheartedly.

A small breath leaves me when I reach my part of the mansion. My father allowed me to place my own men here so at least I get a small reprieve from his watchful scrutiny. Dima is waiting at the entrance to the corridor, his face set in a permanent scowl, which only deepens when he looks at me. The scar running down his left cheek makes him seem menacing, a great thing for an enforcer, but I can see the worry shining in his dark blue eyes.

He doesn’t help me, just walks alongside me as I limp my way to my suite of rooms, opening the door for me and shutting it behind me.

“Suka, Nik!” Andrei exclaims, getting up from the sofa and hovering over me. He knows better than to help me, even here. I’m not worried about my father bugging the space and discovering my weaknesses, it’s sheer stubbornness that keeps me walking over to the chair. “Grab the med kit, Dima.”

Andrei is a typical Russian with ice-blue eyes and bright blond hair. We met in juvie, Dima too, and formed a strong brotherhood that only deepened when I discovered their relationship and told them in no uncertain terms that I had no issue with it. Unlike my father, a homophobic bigot, I believe that love is love and no one else’s business. So I protect them from Sergi and they keep my secrets.

They’ve been by my side ever since we all got out, and know all about my obsession with Iris and my plans to take over from my father sooner than he expects.

I’d left them here when we went to Iris’s house yesterday, sending them on some small errands so that they wouldn’t be involved in any way and thus couldn’t be punished as well. My father wouldn’t have been so lenient on them.

“I’m fine,” I grit out, hissing in pain when he removes my shirt. “Suka!” I yell when he presses on one of my ribs.

“Badly bruised, but not fractured or broken, thank fuck.” He tuts, grabbing the ice pack that Dima also brought over before placing it over the sore area. My jaw clenches at the flare of pain, my body relaxing a little as the cold starts to soothe the hurt and numb the spot. “I take it he found out about Iris going missing?”

I just nod, letting him work his magic on me, cleaning up the blood and icing my various cuts and bruises. Andrei always had a keen interest in helping others and the way the body worked, so when I came back over here, I paid for him to study medicine and now he’s my personal physician, as well as helping my father’s men when the need arises. He’s patched me up a couple of times after my corrections, knowing the drill by now.

“He wants me to convince the Shadows to give her back,” I mumble, taking the glass of vodka that Dima hands me and tossing it back. It burns as it hits my palate, warming me from the inside out.

“So what’s the plan, boss?” Dima rumbles, going to stand by the door and crossing his arms. He’s always in protective mode, always making sure that Andrei and I are as safe as we can be in this life.

“I don’t fucking know,” I tell them with a sigh, the glass dangling from my fingers as Andrei finishes up. “I need to seem like I’m trying to convince them while also making it clear that I don’t want her back, and try to convince my father not to just slaughter the whole lot of them.” Fuck. I think to the text I sent Hunter from a burner phone earlier, the debt that I now owe and will gladly pay. I just need fucking time. “I need some sleep,” I let my head drop back. Maybe I’ll be able to think more clearly when pain isn’t making my head spin.

“You didn’t get any earlier?” Andrei teases, and I crack one lid open to glare at him. He just laughs, packing away the medical supplies.

My lips twitch when I think about being in between those beautiful thighs, buried deep inside her for the first time enough to chase all my pain away. I wonder what she’s doing now and if she’s thinking of me. If they’re treating her right. I didn’t have the luxury of it being my first time, as much as I would have chosen her for that experience.

My father shut me in a room with one of his women when I was thirteen. He told me it was time to become a man and that I wasn’t to disappoint him, and by that time, I knew all too well the consequences of his disappointment. So like a good little pup, I fucked her even as nausea swirled in my stomach the whole time.

My jaw clenches when I think of them touching her. All I can do is hope that the debt Hunter owes her for what she did for Willow is enough to keep her from having to use her body in that way.

You’re not much better, she didn’t exactly get a choice…

Shaking my head before I try to untangle that clusterfuck, I heave myself out of the chair, placing the empty glass on the table.

“I’m going to bed for a few hours,” I inform them, my body screaming at me. I won’t take any painkillers, I need to be alert. “I’ll think of something after.”

“Yes, boss,” they say in unison, and I laugh, knowing that at least from Andrei, it’s said in a teasing way. In front of everyone else, he’s the perfect soldier, but when it’s just us, we can relax and he’s naturally playful. Plus, like the rest of us, he has an issue with authority.

I slowly make my way to my bedroom, the bed looking far too cold and empty without my Solnishko in it.

One day.

One day this will all be a distant nightmare, I think as I toe my shoes off and strip my trousers and boxer briefs off, letting them fall to a heap on the floor. The evidence of taking her virginity has dried around my cock, tugging at the hair there, but I don’t go to shower, needing to keep some part of her with me just a little bit longer.

Gingerly climbing under the cool sheets, I imagine the day that she’ll be beside me, in my arms all night and safe from my father.

But who will keep her safe from you and this life?