: Chapter 9
Marriage For One
It was finally Monday, the opening day Iâd been waiting such a long time for, and now that it had arrived, I didnât know how to contain my happiness or my anxiousness. One minute I was on the verge of hyperventilating just thinking about opening the doors enough that Owen and Sally had to force me to sit down, and the next minute I couldnât stay still and felt like I was about to burst from happiness. Mostly, though, I was feeling sick to my stomach, worrying everything was going to go wrong and everyone was going to hate everything.
What if no one showed up? That had been the first thing Iâd thought the moment I had opened my eyes that morning. What if no one walked in? My goal was to at least serve fifty coffees on the first day. That sounded like a fairly doable number.
âI feel like Iâm about to lose my virginity,â I blurted out as Sally pushed a glass of water into my hands.
âWas it a good experience? Mine was pretty cool.â
âI mean, it was okay. No orgasms in sight, but at least it didnât hurt much.â Owen grumbled something I couldnât make out. âWhat did you say?â
âThis place looks legit,â Sally said, ignoring him. âWhat you did with the flower thing is still blowing my mind. It looks so beautiful with the black exterior. The furniture, the colorsâeverything came together so nicely. You put out the flyers too. Weâll easily reach fifty coffees.â
When Sally left me and went to the kitchen, I got up from one of the chairs they had basically pushed me into, walked to the door to flip the closed sign to open, and just rested my forehead on the cool glass for a few seconds. Flipping that sign felt like Iâd welcomed an elephant to come sit on my chest. People passed by. I even saw some of them stare at the roses as they walked by, but no one pushed each other out of the way to get in.
âOkay.â I sighed. âNow all we have to do is wait.â When I turned around, both Sally and Owen were standing in the doorway to the kitchen, Owen wiping his hands on a kitchen towel and Sally smiling and munching on a lemon bar. Taking the last bite, she walked up to the espresso machine.
âWould you like to have the very first latte of the day? Iâve been polishing my latte art skills.â
I let out a deep breath and smiled. âYou know what, thatâs a great idea. In fact, lattes all around, on me. We might need to drink forty-seven more today, but thatâs not all that much, right? Death by caffeine is a real issue, but Iâm sure weâll be safe.â
We clinked our mugs together, at least Sally and I did and hoped for the best for the rest of the day. The first customer came thirty minutes after Iâd flipped the sign from closed to open. Owen was in the back, but Sally and I were ready with our overly excited smiles plastered on our faces.
An hour or so had passed and we had a few more customers. Sally was preparing a second cup of cappuccino for the customer whoâd come in earlier as she was looking through the food selection on the counter. Sheâd already had her free blueberry muffin, so she decided on a sandwich this time.
I grabbed a plate, lifted the glass dome, and picked up a turkey & swiss that was wrapped with parchment paper and secured with red twine. The bell on the top of the door rang, but I was busy taking payment so I couldnât look away. After giving her the change and thanking her, I finally looked to my left, excited to greet a new customer.
And right thereâ¦right there standing with the most uncomfortable look on his face was Jack Hawthorne. I didnât think Iâd ever been that happy to see him before, but him being there so early, him just being there⦠The smile that broke out on my face was embarrassing.
âJack, you came,â I managed to say softly, and even though he couldnât hear me, his gaze dropped to my lips.
Before he could walk in farther, Raymond came in with an armful of roses and handed them to an unhappy Jack. My breath hitched and my smile brightened up a bit, taking it from embarrassing to a touch closer to manic. Jackâs expression, however, didnât change.
Were they for me?
I begged my heart to stay calm as he walked toward me.
âThere was a mix-up at the flower shop, and they couldnât bring these themselves,â he said, and my smile faltered.
âI donât understand. Theyâre from a flower shop?â I asked, my eyes going from the roses to Jackâs face in confusion.
His lips tightened and his brows drew together. âNo.â
I waited. I could feel Sally standing just behind me, on my right, too.
Jack released a frustrated sigh. âTheyâre from me. You donât have to use the fake stuff on the tables. Itâs so the property looks good. Thatâs all.â He leaned forward and thrust the bouquet into my hands.
Feeling something weird and very much unexpected in my chest, I took them. There were maybe fifty or sixty long stemmed roses in every colorâpink, white, yellow, peachâand they were all wrapped up in slightly shimmery brown paper. They were gorgeous, way more than what I would need for the tables, way more than anyone had ever bought me. Flowers would add no value to the property; that was plain and simple bullshit. These were for me.
I was still looking at the roses, taking them all in one by one, not sure what to say or how to say it, when I saw Owen put another plate of freshly baked blueberry muffins to my left. He whistled next to me, his shoulder barely touching mine.
âThese are just for me,â I mumbled, almost to myself. âAnd theyâre so beautiful, Jack. Thank you.â For some reason, I felt myself choke up, and my chest constricted. Hugging the bouquet with one arm, I pressed my palm against my chest where my heart was truly losing it. Sally cleared her throat, and I briefly glanced at her to see her raised brows and the expectant look on her face. âOh, Iâm sorry. I should introduce you guys. Sally, Owen, this is Jack. Jack, Sally and Owen.â My attention was still on the roses when I heard Jackâs gravelly voice as he introduced himself.
âRoseâs husband,â he said, extending his hand first to Sally and then to Owen. Goose bumps covered my arms, both because of the tone of his voice and the word itself. Husband. My husband.
âYes, sorry. Jack is my husband.â
âHusband?â Sally blurted out in a slightly raised voice. âYouâre married? You never said anything!â She grabbed my hand and inspected my naked ring finger. âNo ring?â
I inwardly winced and sent an apologetic look Jackâs way, but he had his hands in his pockets and his eyes were on the food, his expression completely unreadable as always.
Sally was looking between Jack and me in bafflement.
âI took it off before I started baking. Itâs in my bag. With everything going on, I forgot to put it back on.â
I was explaining it to Sally, but my eyes stayed on Jack the entire time. He looked up, and I offered him a small smile.
âItâs so beautiful,â I said, turning my gaze to Sally. âI keep taking it off when Iâm working here because I donât want to lose it. Thatâs why you didnât see it before.â
âI need to get back. Congratulations on the marriage, Rose. Nice to meet you, Jack,â Owen said before giving my shoulder a quick soft squeeze and disappearing into the kitchen. Sally just stood there.
I looked up at Jack, he was staring at Owenâs back with a clenched jaw, but he averted his eyes before I could try to tell what he was thinking. Forcing myself out of this weird guilty feeling, I asked, âWould you like something to drink? Or eat?â
âYes. I want fifteenâ¦I donât know, espressos, lattes, or just black coffeeâwhatever you recommend.â
âFifteen?â
Finally, he looked at me. âIâll take it to the office.â
âDo you have a big meeting or something?â
âNo.â
Just one word, that one word⦠He was putting in a coffee order that big because he wanted to help meâagain.
âOh, Jack, you donât have to do that.â This time I could feel the tears blurring my eyesight. It was going to happen. The edges of my lips started to tilt down, and I knew I wasnât going to be able to stop it. âIâm going to hug you,â I blurted out.
A line etched between his brows and his eyes finally came back to me. âWhat?â
Gently, I put the flowers down on the counter and walked toward the end so I could make it to the other side through the small opening. Before he could process it and quite possibly stop me, I closed my eyes and threw my arms around his neck, rising up on my tippy toes. To be fair, my movements had been slow. Iâd given him timeâenough time to stop me if he really wanted to.
But he didnât.
After the initial second or two, his arms came around me and he returned the embrace. I rested my temple on his shoulder, drew in his wonderful and dizzying smell and whispered, âThank you, Jack, for everything. For the coffee shop, all the help, the flowers, the coffee orderâeverything. Thank you so much.â The tears made their way down my cheeks, and I slid my hands down from his neck and stopped when my palms met the lapels of his charcoal grey suit jacket. His arms dropped so he could push my hair away from my face and tuck it behind my ear. A shiver worked its way through my spine and I couldnât move away from him.
When his eyes landed on my face, his jaw was clenched, and I had no idea what was going through his mind. I just looked at his face, taking in his features, my favorite blue eyes and straight full lips. Still not a smile in sight. I dropped back to my soles and wiped my tears with the back of my hand. I looked around the coffee shop to the three tables that were occupied. No one was looking at us, and even Sally had her back turned our way.
I smiled at him, a big happy smile. âOkay. If youâre sure you want that many, weâll get started on them for you.â
His eyes stayed on me. âI wouldnât be here if I wasnât sure, Rose.â
My smile widened. âOf course you are. Okay.â Walking around the counter, I asked, âDo you know what anyone drinks or are we just making a mix of everything?â
He shook his head. âI donât know what they drink.â
âRight. Okay, weâll do a few different things. How do you want yours?â
âJustâ¦black with a splash of milk, if you can.â
I picked up my flowers, smiling. âOf course I can. Iâll collect all the vases and change out the artificial flowers with these after you leave. I love them. Thank you, Jack. You have no idea what this means to me.â
He cleared his throat but didnât say anything. I helped Sally and we did a mix of everything: a few macchiatos, a few lattes, four black coffees, and two matcha lattes, just in case someone preferred that. When Sally started on the extra black coffee, I gently took over. It wasnât that it required any extra attention, but I wanted to be the one who prepared Jackâs coffee. When the whole order was ready, I started packing the free muffins and lemon bars. âThese are free,â I explained without looking at Jack. âFor the first day, Iâm giving everyone a lemon bar or a muffin, whatever they prefer.â
âYou donât have toââ he started, but I was already closing the box.
âTheyâre free, and you will take them. Otherwise Iâm not giving you your coffee. Donât argue with me.â
âThe roses look great on the door,â he said after a moment, and I looked at him.
âReally?â
âHow did you put it up?â
âI did it this morning, with Owenâs help.â
His face hardened a little for some reason. âI woke up early to see if there was anything I could help you with, but I guess I missed you. When did you leave?â
âAround five, I think.â
âHow did you get here that early?â
Confused, I gave him a brief look over my shoulder and started on making another quick coffee. âLike I always doâI walked through Central Park.â
âOn your own.â
âWell, yeah. Thatâs how I get here. I wonât come in that early every day, but it was the first day, soâ¦â
We fell silent as I finished the second cup I was preparing.
âEverything is ready to go, Rose,â Sally said, sliding four bags toward me on the counter.
âOkay. Thank you, Sally. Just one more second, Jack. I hope Iâm not making you late.â
âItâs fine,â he muttered as a new customer walked in and started to look at the food and ask Sally questions. I welcomed the newcomer and put the lids on the two coffee cups I had prepared myself, grabbed two small paper bags that had our logo on the front, and quickly put two lemon bars inside each one along with an extra chocolate muffin in one of them. âOkay. We can go,â I announced, smiling at Jack.
He held out a credit card to me between two fingers. âI hope you donât forget to ask for payment from all your customers.â
âMy husband gets a free pass,â I pointed out softly as we stared at each other and I ignored the credit card. Sally walked behind me toward the espresso machine. âReady to go?â I asked Jack.
âRose, Iâm not taking anything if Iâm not paying for it.â
My smile started to melt off my face as he spoke.
âItâs your first dayâif you start giving away free coffee to everyone you know on the first day, you wonât have this coffee shop for very long.â There went the rest of my smile. âI wouldnât have ordered so many if Iâd thought you werenât going to accept payment for it.â
He extended the credit card farther forward and I reluctantly took it.
Before pushing in the amount, I glanced up at him. âIâm not taking payment for your coffee, Jack. Iâmâ¦just not.â
We had a short-lived but intense staring match where I came out as the winner. âOkay. Okay, thatâs fine,â he agreed. âI didnât mean to make you upset, Rose.â
âItâs okay.â
I handed him the four bags and the card. Then I took the two coffee cups and the extra small bag myself. âBe careful not to tip the cups,â I warned as Jack glanced inside the bags. âIâll be right back, Sally!â
I followed him out to the curb where Raymond was waiting. He rushed out as soon as he saw us coming with our hands full. He opened the door for Jack and waited.
âYou should put the bags on the floor, Jack, keep them between your feet so they donât make a mess in the car.â Jack leaned down and arranged everything carefully as I turned to Raymond. âIâm sorry, I donât know how you take your coffee, but I made you what I made for Jack, black with a splash of milk, and if you want, there are sugar packets in the bag too.â I handed him the cup and the small paper bag. âAnd there is a lemon bar in this. I made it myself. Itâs good.â
âThank you, Rose, and congratulations on your new place. It looks amazing.â
It was the first time heâd called me Rose. âThank you so much, Raymond, and youâre welcome.â I beamed after him as he walked back to the driverâs side.
âAnd these are yours,â I said as I handed my husband the other coffee cup and paper bag, feeling a little shy all of a sudden. âI put a lemon bar and a chocolate muffin in yours because I wasnât sure what you liked, but if you donât like ââ
âYou made the muffin, too?â he asked, peeking into the bag.
âNo, Owen baked the muffins. I made the lemon bars and the sandwiches. He isâ¦â Did I need to give him an explanation? He hadnât asked, but I felt like I wanted to. âOwen, I mean, heâs my friend. Barely even a friend. We worked at this café two years ago and talked every now and then after that. So, I just wanted you to know. He is just a friend.â
âI donât need an explanation about your friends, Rose.â
Despite his harsh answer, I thought I saw his shoulders relax a fraction. I could live with that.
âOkay.â Not sure what to do with my hands, I just stood there.
âDid anyone unwanted show up today?â
I arched a brow. âAnyone unwanted? You mean like Bryan? No, he didnât. Neither did Jodi.â
âGood. I had a quick talk with him. He wonât bother you again.â
âWhat? When?â
âAfter he showed up here. It doesnât matter now.â
He had a coffee cup in one hand and the bag in the other. With his tailored suit and that Iâm not exactly sure what Iâm doing here look on his face, he looked soâ¦so grumpy and adorable that I couldnât stop myself from giving him another hug.
Since his hands were full, he couldnât do anything but stiffen this time. Before I realized what I was doing, I found myself pressing a hand on his cheek and kissing him on the other side, surprised by my sudden act, I lingered. When I let go of him and backed up, he was looking straight into my eyes. I flushed but managed a smile. âThank you, for the flowers and the coffee order. That youâd even think of buying coffee for your work friendsâand theyâre not even your friendsâand only because itâs my first dayâ¦it means so much to me.â
âIâm not doing it for you.â
âYou keep telling yourself that. Youâre hating it all the way, but youâre starting to get used to me.â When his steady gaze became too unsettling to return, I gave him a weird wave, mumbled something like, âHave a good day at work,â then rushed back into the coffee shop.
My cheeks slightly flushedâmaybe from the cold outside, or maybe because of Jackâs gaze on meâI made it back to Sallyâs side. When the thing that was fluttering wildly inside my chest became too much to ignore, I looked back outside to see Jack standing on the curb and looking inside.
Had I really just kissed him and lingered? And then run away like a school girl?
I thought my cheeks flushed even more, so to forget all about it, I started to collect all the little vases on the tables, took my roses into the kitchen, and started on making my coffee shop even more lively and beautiful with a big, permanent smile on my face.
When the clock hit seven PM, I was drained. I was happy, but the excitement had gotten to me. Owen had left right after lunch when he was done with his work, and Sally had left just half an hour ago. We had sold well over fifty cups of coffee, crushing my goals. Itâd been just a bit over the one hundred mark, actually.
A knock on the door made me stop what I was doing, which was getting the last few bits of baked goods into containers and then in the fridge. Iâd dimmed the lights in the coffee shop right after Sally left and had flipped the open sign to closed, as well as locking up. Holding the doorframe, I peeked toward the door. When I saw Jack standing in the rain, I put the brownie plate down and ran to the front of the coffee shop.
âJack, what are you doing here?â I asked as soon as I opened the door. âItâs raining.â
âReally? I hadnât noticed.â
I took a deep breath to keep myself from rolling my eyes at him. âYou shouldâve called from the car so I could open the door for you.â
âI did, actually, but you didnât answer.â
I winced and just stood in front of him, not sure what to do now that he was standing right in front of me and we were alone. âIâm sorry, itâs in my bag. I havenât checked it the entire day. But, still, I didnât expect to see you here.â I watched him as he ran his hand through his wet hair, somehow making it look like the rain had styled it for himâwhereas the minute I stepped out into that rain, I knew I was going to look like a drowned rat.
âRight, because itâs not like Iâm here every night,â he said before looking around the shop. Apparently that was all the explanation he was ready to give. âAre you going to let me in, or do you want me to stay out in the cold?â
âOh, shoot, come in. Sorry.â I opened the door wider and he stepped in. âSince you came in this morning, I thought maybe youâd skip the pickup today.â I smiled as he brushed off the rain from the arms of his coat.
âLooks like I didnât.â I just stared at him. âReady to leave?â he asked, eyes coming back to me.
âYouâre really gonna make me ask?â
Distractedly, he kept brushing rain off of his coat as his forehead creased. âAsk me what?â
I raised my brows. âThe coffee, the lemon bar? Did everyone like it? More importantly, did you even eat it? Did you like it?â
I waited with bated breath, which was stupid. Almost all the customers had commented on how much theyâd loved everythingâthe space, the coffee, the food, the roses outside. Even so, hearing what Jack thought felt important. I cared.
He finally stopped messing with his coat and took a good look at me. âEveryone loved it.â
âThatâs all youâre going to give me? Are you being serious?â
The creases on his forehead got deeper. âIâm always being serious.â
I laughed. âYes, yes you are. I think you loved it, but youâre just too proud to say it out loud.â I didnât give him an opportunity to answer. âDo you mind sitting and waiting for a few minutes? I need to do a few more things in the kitchen, but after that we can leave. I can make you a coffee for while you wait?â My eyes still on him, I started backing away toward the kitchen.
With his coat still on, he pulled up the closest chair and sat down, his eyes on me. âIâm good. You go take care of whatever you need to take care of.â
I gave him another overly bright smile and disappeared through the doorway. Grabbing the brownie plate from the counter, I raised my voice so he could hear me.
âDid you have a good day?â
I stopped transferring the brownies and waited for his answer.
âIt was fine,â he said finally. âBusy and long, as usual. Fred wanted me to congratulate you on his behalf.â
âOh? Thatâs so nice of him.â
I waited another few seconds and when the follow-up question didnât come, I answered it for myself. âMine was good. Thank you so much for asking. It was just like yours, actuallyâbusy and long.â I paused for a second. âAh, thank you so much, Jack. I hope it becomes a usual thing, too. Youâre so right.â
Another quiet few seconds, and then his delicious voice came from very close.
âWhat do you think youâre doing?â
No, not deliciousâit wasnât delicious as in delicious, but it felt like it was delicious as it touched my skin. It was just a normal male voice, nothing to get excited about, just a little thick and rumbly and smooth at the same time.
I knew exactly where he was, but I still looked to where he was leaning against the doorframe. His coat was off, but he was wearing his suit jacket, hands in the pockets of his pants. Maybe it was for the better that there would be no forearm porn today, because if that had happened, I wasnât sure how I would react anymore.
âJust talking to you.â
âYou mean to yourself.â
âNo, I mean to you. I really enjoy talking to you.â
He stared at me boldly and I fell into the blue trap.
âCan I help you in here?â he asked.
For some reason, I flushed. It was a pretty small space for two people. Sure, I worked with Owen just fine, but we baked across from each other and I wasnât attracted to him at all. I couldnât exactly keep Jack at armâs length when we were carrying pastries to the fridge.
âNope. Iâm good.â I mean, it wasnât the first time he had offered his help, and if he did help, he would actuallyâ¦butâ¦no. No, skipping the forearm porn was the smart choice here. Definitely. âJust a few more things I need toâ¦ahâ¦do, then Iâm ready. If you have somewhere else to be, I donât want to make you wait. Iâll be done inââ
He crossed his arms, his shoulder still holding him up against the doorframe. âNo. Iâm good right here, too.â
I didnât even attempt to stop the smile growing on my face, and to be honest, that weird sense of pleasure his words had caused was completely uncalled for. I bit my lower lip just to stop my mouth from curving up. Considering I hadnât even stolen one genuine smile from him, I was giving mine away too easily for my liking. When the brownies were done, I grabbed my cheeks and pushed them in. âIâve been smiling so much today, my cheeks are hurting.â
âHow good was it?â
âHmm?â I mumbled distractedly, keeping my eyes on the last few brownies.
âHow good was your day? Still happy?â
He was making small talk. Granted, Iâd already answered the question, but he was making small talk without me having to prompt him. The itch to grin and lose my cool was growing with every freely offered word out of his mouth.
On my way to the fridge, my eyes cut to him and I brushed my bangs away from my forehead with the back of my arm. âIâm exhausted, as you can probably tell from how I look, but itâs the good kind of exhaustion. Iâm still over the moon, still a little high on it.â I reached for the remaining two chocolate chip cookies and put them in another container.
âI was going to ask if you would like to go out for dinner tonight, but I donât think youâd make it through, especially if you still feel like youâre high on it.â
âThat actually wouldâve been nice, but I agree with you.â I held my arms out and looked down at myself. âProbably not the best night to be out in public anyway.â
âWhat are you talking about? You still look just as you did this morning.â
I tried to hide my wince, but I wasnât sure how successful I was. âWelllll, thatâs not saying much.â
âActually, it is,â he muttered, but before I could ask what he meant, he straightened from the doorway and started walking toward me. I focused on my hands, which were reaching for the last two lemon bars with the tongs. I grabbed one of them, put it in a small container, and was in the process of grabbing the other one when Jackâs chest brushed my shoulder.
I stopped breathing. My body pretty much stayed still, but my eyes were moving. He wasnât so much pushing me, but he was leaning on me enough that his chest was brushing my shoulderâhis broad and warm and inviting chest.
âCan I have that?â he murmured in the vicinity of my ear, not too close, but closer than I expected him to stand.
I cleared my throat so I would be able to sound serious and normal like him. âCan you have what?â
âThe last lemon bar.â
That had me looking over my shoulder andâ¦what a bad, bad idea. Our eyes met and I kinda got stuck on his steady and expectant ocean blues. Then I looked at his lips because they were right there, so full. In my defense, I was looking so I could catch his next words, but they didnât come.
âHmm? Oh? You liked it then?â I forced my eyes back to his and extended the tongs toward him. He took it. âWould you like a plate?â He met my eyes again and just shook his head. I faced forward. What is happening? âI didnât think they would almost completely disappear by the end of the day, even though they were free.â
âThey are good enough to come back for every day, Rose.â Before I could process those words and at the same time try not to analyze them to bits too much, he continued, âWill you bake more tomorrow?â
âI can make you a batch at the apartment, if you want,â I offered as I started to just push things around randomly, hoping to keep the conversation going.
âI donât mind coming here.â
Finally, I turned to face him, leaning my hip against the counter. If I just leaned a little forward, I could fall into him, so easily.
âJust for the flowers you brought this morning, you earned free lemon bars for an entire week.â
He bit into his treat, already halfway done with it, and nodded.
Forcing myself to look away from him because I had no idea what was wrong with me that suddenly I was having trouble just looking away, I started to put everything in the fridge.
I came back for the last container. âWe can leave in a minute.â
My right hand was gripping the edge of the island when his fingertip touched my ring finger. I froze.
âYouâre finally wearing your ring,â he murmured, and my eyes closed on their own.
Is he getting closer?
I focused on my breathing as he picked up my hand and played with the ring, moving it right to left, right to left, just as he had done on our wedding day. I might have swayed, I might have bit my lip, I might have shivered. I have no recollection of what I did, but I knew I was teetering on the edge of something.
âI put it on after you left,â I whispered, my hand still in his. Then he gently put it down on the island again.
âGood.â
I forced my eyes open but didnât look up at him. I was still feeling the ghost of his touch on my skin.
âReady to leave?â
I nodded. âMhmm.â I put the last container away and quietly got ready, my eyes safely away from him.
However, it didnât escape my notice that my movements were getting more sluggish by the minute. The adrenaline was leaving my body, and pretty quickly, too.
As I took one last look at the coffee shop before I locked it down for the night, I felt immense pleasure knowing Iâd get to come back the next day and do it all over again.
Thinking about Jack and the business deal between us, I went down the other road, too, the ex-fiancé road: Joshua Landon. I was a little surprised with myself that I wasnât thinking of him more. Weâd had good days. In the beginning. He had swept me off my feet. Heâd been perfect; said everything I didnât even know I needed him to say, acted as if I was his world and slowly won me over when I wasnât interested in something serious. After Iâd said yes to his proposal things had started to change. He had started to change. If weâd married, if he hadnât disappeared on me after breaking the engagement over a stupid text, would I have had this? Would he have dropped by every day after work to help me? I didnât think so. Iâd been with Joshua for a whole year and I couldnât remember a time heâd gone out of his way to help me with somethingâunless, that is, he wanted something in return. I hadnât needed his help; I didnât even remember ever asking for his help. That wasnât the issue, though. I hadnât needed Jackâs help either. I hadnât asked for his help, yet heâd been there anyway, day after day.
For the first time, I didnât say a word in the car, didnât try to engage Jack in small talk as Raymond drove us back to the apartment. He ordered Chinese and I went up to take a quick shower before it was delivered. When the doorbell rang, I was coming down the stairs. By the time he paid and closed the door, I was standing next to him. I took one of the bags and we headed toward the kitchen.
âYouâre quiet tonight. You barely even said anything in the car.â I only realized how hungry I was when the delicious smells coming from the containers had my stomach growling. A little embarrassed, I stepped away from him to put some distance between us and opened the fridge to take out two water bottles.
âI have a little headache,â I mumbled. The fact that I had a headache wasnât a lie in itself, but something else was wrong. I had no idea what had happened, but I was feeling even more awkward next to him than I had before that day. Maybe it was the lingering kiss or the multiple hugs or maybe it was the thought of Joshua.
His eyes cut to mine, but I avoided his gaze as he took down two plates and we started to spoon out a little of everything.
âRice?â
I nodded, and he dumped some on my plate. Then, grabbing both our plates, he walked straight out of the kitchen. âLetâs eat at the table. Iâm tired of sitting at the kitchen island alone.â
Wordlessly, I followed him and stood in the doorway as he stopped next to the dining table. I watched him put down our plates, pull out a chair, and look at me with a raised eyebrow.
âWill you join me?â
As a kid who had taken most of her meals in the kitchen, a dining room table always reminded me of one thing.
Family.
Which Iâd never had.
I walked toward him and sat down as he pushed my chair forward.
He sat across from me, reaching for his chopsticks.
I was staring straight into his deep blues.
Shaking my head, I got up and just as I was going to walk past him, his hand gently curled around my wrist, his thumb gently sweeping up and down, effectively stopping my forward movement. My words got stuck in my throat and I just stared down at him, at his eyes.
âRose.â He spoke softly, as if he was talking to a kid. âAre you sure everything is okay?â
âI forgot the water.â
Deeply conscious of the way his presence and his hand on my skin were making me feel, I waited for him to let go of me. It took a few seconds, but when he did, I almost ran to the kitchen.
Back in my seat, keeping my hands under the table, I rubbed my wrist, trying to get rid of the weird tingles.
The silence and familiarity calmed me down, and I realized it was normal now, being with him, like this. We were just two strangers who had gotten married for the wrong reasons sitting at a big, ten-person dining table, and it felt normal and good.
As soon as my plate was cleared, I rose, and Jack pushed up to his feet with me even though he wasnât done yet.
âYouâre going?â he asked, something that sounded very similar to disappointment in his voice.
âIâ¦should go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be another long day. Iâve been getting these little headaches recently, so it would be better, I think, ifâ¦â
âI understand.â
I took my plate and again tried to walk past him, but he touched me again.
âIâll take care of it.â
âI canââ
âRose. Go away. Get some rest.â
I gave him a smile. Exactly when had my name become soâ¦so effective in making me break out into goose bumps?
I felt the ghost of his touch and the warmth of his fingers on my skin almost up until I fell asleep.
The number of times Jack Hawthorne smiled: not even a single one.