Chapter Twenty-Seven

The Final Chapter

When you've spent your life coloring inside the lines, you'll remember the first time you met someone who didn't. It's not that they don't know how, they just choose not to. The way they defied rules made you envious. With their bodies full of scars and stories to tell, you wonder why you couldn't be that way too.

Whenever you see someone living differently than you, it's hard not to compare. Would I be happier? Sad? More adjusted?

We're always learning, even when no one's teaching us. Even when you've learned the lesson, recite the rules by heart, and do everything the correct way, it only protects your mind. They're wired to predict what comes next. It's comfortable to be right and know what to expect.

But that's no way to live life. I always thought if I lived the correct way, I'd be happy. If I didn't expect too much, I wouldn't be let down. Once I graduated high school, I'd feel more like myself. Once the restaurant became successful, I'd figure out what I wanted. Once my mother woke up, I would too. But I don't want to wait and predict anymore. I don't just want to color outside the lines; I want to color on the fucking walls. I want to begin to be.

And in order to do that, I had to leave.

I had the suite to myself. Wren was off to the airport, picking up Da-Bin and the band. It was about to get crowded. Good thing they left for Malibu in the morning.

My bags were all packed. Well, I never unpacked them. The airport finally found my luggage, now that I was leaving. I checked in online and my flight was one time. Everything was set. All I needed to do now was tell Wren.

I didn't want a repeat of last time. It felt like I was running away again, but I wasn't. We both needed this, and he was the one who needed to stay.

I threw myself onto the sofa. I just needed to find the right words, but I knew what this meant for us. And just when I was moments away from talking myself out of it, the suite door opened.

One by one, the boys barged in. The first, with long brown hair and brown eyes, he flung inside. He hopped onto the breakfast bar and rattled his drumsticks against the marble. The next two, the bassist and guitarist, rushed in. The bassist was the shortest. Shaved head, caramel skin, and snakebites. He tumbled on the floor with a full belly laugh. The guitarist, the tallest and a head full of dreadlocks, cracked a joke I missed right before they came in.

I realized I never met his band. They were a ball of energy but straightened up when they saw me.

I waved. "Hi."

"Hi, Songbird!" They sang, jabbing toes into the ground and swinging back and forth.

I giggled as Wren and Da-Bin strolled in. Arms over each other's shoulders, Da-Bin parted from his embrace and hopped into my arms. He opened his mouth to say something, but when he saw the plane ticket in my hand, he let out a sigh. "Shit."

He found his way back to Wren, pulling him into a tight hug. Wren paid him no mind, weaving through the boys to get to me. "Hey, I want you guys to meet Nora."

I panicked, hiding the ticket behind my back. I only brought attention to it and Wren pulled for my hands. "Wait. Are those plane tickets? You're leaving?"

"Uh." The bassist gathered the rowdy three and walked to the door. "Let's go see the pool."

The lanky guitarist tugged on Da-Bin's sleeve. "Come on, Daddy Da-Bin. Let the kids talk."

They funneled out, and their voices carried down the hall. When they got to the elevator, the suite was quiet again.

I looked at him, and I wanted to take it all back. "It's time for me to go, Wren."

His brows furrowed and his grip tightened around my hands. "Why? I don't understand. I thought—"

"We're still scared, Wren. You're scared to be here, and I'm scared to go back home. Now that summer's over, our lives are about to get more complicated." Pressing my head into his chest, I tried to straighten out my thoughts. I wasn't sure if I was saying the right thing. I just wanted him to get me.

"I know." He pressed his fingers into my chin, lifting my head. "But we can work through it. I know I haven't been myself lately, but I can change. Things will get better."

I didn't want him to blame himself. I wasn't doing this because of him. I was doing this for us. "No Wren, you don't need to change in order for us to be together. That's not what I'm saying. I just—my mom was right. We can't grow if we stay together. We'll just end up using each other as shields and blame each other when things go wrong. I don't want to do that to you. You mean too much to me. You get what I'm saying, right?"

He hung his head and offered a small nod. Pressing his forehead into mine, he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Yeah, I felt it too. I was just so happy when you showed up. I figured if you didn't say anything, I would ignore it. We work so well as a team. But, one of the reasons we do, is because we don't want to work alone. I don't want you to end up as my punching bag either."

"Right." At least we both agreed. He did understand. He just didn't mind pretending it wasn't a problem, and I almost took him up on it. But it wouldn't be fair to either of us. "So, this is just a see you later."

A small smile pulled at his lips. He pressed his hands into my cheeks. "Will there be a later?"

"There will definitely be a later. I still love you."

"I still love you."

He pulled me in for one final kiss. I wouldn't see him for a while. I wouldn't be able to kiss him, and I ran the risk of him falling for someone else, but I needed to learn to take risks.

I was going to miss the hell out of him. But he gave me that ring for a reason. Maybe the Gods were still rooting for us.

"Go make the best debut record the world has ever seen."

With a kiss on top of my nose, he whispered, "In every song, the hidden meaning will be you."

I asked him not to take me to the airport. I wasn't sure I could hold back my tears for that long. But he wouldn't allow it. The ride ended too quickly, and I almost asked the driver to do a loop around. But it was time.

We walked hand in hand, and I convinced myself he was coming with me. But I couldn't ask him to do that. It was his turn to follow his dreams.

As we neared the gate, he pulled onto my jean pocket. "I, uh, was saving this. It's a love letter." He pushed it in as a tear rolled down his cheek. If he cried, I wasn't sure I'd be able to get on this plane. "Don't read it until you follow another dream. When you can dream without me."

I didn't want to dream without him. How was I going to top what he'd already done? The next years of my life were going to be completely up to me. And I didn't know what to expect. I didn't expect my summer to end up this way. I didn't expect Wren to change me. So maybe expectations weren't all they were cracked up to be.

But even so, Wren was a tough act to follow.

We shared another kiss and held onto each other's hands for dear life. I wanted to remember everything, even how perfectly his hand fit in mine.

But what I'd miss the most wasn't all the things he did for me or all the dreams we chased together. It was his car. All the car rides we'd never take. I'd miss the way I looked over at him when he was lost in thought. The way his car sounded when it ran low on gas or when he rode into the city at night. When he wasn't rockstar Wren or Felix or even the boy who wanted to make my dreams come true. He was just mine, and I was just his.

As I let go of his hand, I waved one last time. Turning on my heels, I'd seen this scene a thousand times. When he was no longer looking, I finally allowed myself to cry. And though I never looked back, I knew he was too.

My flight back was less eventful than the first, and when I landed, my family waited for me. Their bright, smiling faces were the best pick me up. My eyes were bloodshot, considering I'd stopped crying only an hour ago. Wren texted pictures of him and the boys. They had already written three songs that quickly. I guess he found some inspiration from his muse after all.

I heard Val's uncanny shriek from a mile away. She waited outside the restaurant as we pulled up. I engulfed her in a hug and my parents pulled my things inside. They were packing themselves. In the morning, my father would hand the restaurant's keys to Larry. He, my mother, and little siblings were going on a two-week vacation. My mother's always wanted to go on a cruise, and I guess I wasn't the only one inspired by Wren. My father wanted to make all my mother's dreams come true too.

"Hey, Val." We sat outside the restaurant and the stars twinkled from above. "So, I have all this money from Wren's inheritance and I was thinking maybe we could go to London. Visit Shae, take a gap year or something. I mean, I—"

"Seriously!" She shot up, pulling out her car key. Now that Da-Bin was in L.A, Wren's car was Val's car until he got it to California. "I'm going to pack right now. I need to get out of here. I've been studying for the SATs, and I need a break."

"Wait! You're studying to get into college?!" I didn't know she was going for it. I really needed to keep in touch. She was my only friend. "No, I don't want—"

"Are you kidding? I can study in London. I can go to college next year." She hopped into her car. "Chip! Chip! Cheerios!"

She didn't even give herself time to process. Shae probably already told her I was thinking about it. They were the one who suggested Val come along.

She honked the horn and shouted, "Get in loser, we gotta start packing."

I had no idea what I was going to do in London or with my life. But, I still could dream. One day it may hit me, or I'd keep finding new things to love. It didn't matter, because it was always up to me. The next few months of my life were completely unknown. Isn't it great?

Val sped down the street. I've never ridden with her before. Was she going to run every red light?

Tightening my seat belt, I thought of Wren's letter. Maybe it would distract me from Val's risky driving. I looked down at my handmade ring and smiled. I never wanted to forget this summer. How could I? Even this letter was proof it was real.

Songbird,

You did say you wanted to receive a love letter, right? I guess if you're reading this, it means this is the last of your dreams I could fulfill. And what kinda leading man would I be not to end our romance with a love letter?

You surprised me tonight. Coming all the way here for me. Is it weird to say I'm proud of you?

I'm going to be honest. This feels like the end. I know you can't stay, and I can't make you. But there was still so much I wanted to do with you. I wanted to teach you how to drive, because no matter how many times you tell me you love taking the bus, I see it, every time we're in my car, how badly you want to be behind the wheel. I love watching you when I perform, but I wanted to experience being in the middle of a crowd with you. I wanted to karaoke with you, dress up in horrible Halloween costumes, sing Christmas carols on the roof of my car, and kiss you on New Year's. I wanted to continue dreaming with you.

You're the reason I sing, and I hope I'm the reason you never stop dreaming.

I've imagined how we'd end this summer. You and me in my car, driving to who knows where. Why would I care when the best thing that's ever happened to me is riding shotgun? You roll the window down, stick out your hand, and scream at the top of your lungs. Because you've never felt more free.

And as we ride off into the sunset, the opening of 5 Seconds of Summer's Carousel starts to play. You look at me and say, "Why don't you try screaming too?"

Can you imagine it?

Oh, and you still have to write a love letter to me. Per your dream.

Signed,

Your Hummingbird (Shae tells me everything.)

They say if the leads don't end up together at the end of the book, it's not considered romance. It's a love story. And that's the perfect description of what meeting Wren felt like. Not only did I fall in love with him, I fell in love with myself. And, I guess, that's all I really needed to do from the start. But if I had to learn this lesson again, I would, because he was an exceptional teacher.

As Val sped through the empty streets, I rolled down the window, stuck out my hand, and screamed. Because I'd never felt more free.

So, why don't you try screaming too?

The End 💖

🌻Full playlist?

Just type in "Smelling Roses" in Spotify.