Sophie

13: Sophie

Fee spent most of the late afternoon and early evening with her mind preoccupied with Jane. The more the women denied her any insight into her life the more she wanted to know. She was beginning to realize that it wasn't just her stunning good looks that drew her in. They simply opened the door to Fee's intrigue. She felt drawn into Jane and could not deny her pull. Fiona was watching the clock waiting patiently for 8:00pm so that she could try her friend Sophie.

"Good morning, Heifer International, how may I help you?" Fee's heart swelled at the sound of her friend's voice.

"Sophie! Sophie! It's Fee!" A grin broke across her face, tears filled her eyes. "I've missed you!"

Sophie's voice mirrored Fee's joy and love,"Fee! How are you, Love?" Sophie's light British accent sounded intoxicating to Fiona.

"I'm really good, do you have a minute to talk? I can call back later if you'd like."

"No! I always have time for you!"

Fee smiled with pleasure, she loved Sophie both because they shared a passion for social change and she had the unique ability to listen and engage in compassionate honesty. She was the best sounding board ever. Fee and Sophie spent several minutes catching each other up in their day to day lives, sharing in their common experiences, challenges, and triumphs, in advocating for those in need.

There was a pause in the conversation and Sophie sensed that Fee needed her, "So, Fee? What's up? Are you okay? Really?"

Fiona chuckled softly, "You always know. So, I have this new assistant and security detail and I'm feeling a little confused and anxious."

"Are you safe, Darling?" Concern washed through Sophie's voice.

"Absolutely! Super safe, Jane is scary good at her job."

"So what's the problem?"

"Well, she's a little aloof and closed off, I guess that comes with the territory. She doesn't want to 'let me in' but we'll be spending a lot of time together so it's unsettling." Sophie audibly responded encouraging Fiona to continue. "She's been pretty clear about drawing lines, I respect that, really."

"She is new right? Was the previous detail the same way?"

"Bill? Ummmm, yes. I would say yes." Fee began to pace in the kitchen and hesitated for just a moment, "It's just that, well, I think I'm attracted to Jane. You know, attracted to her."

"Oh! I see, but you're not gay. Are you?"

"Yeah, so that's kind of why I called you. Again, confused and anxious is probably the best way to describe me right now. Sophie, I can't take my eyes off her, she's stunning." Sophie chuckled into the phone. "I'm not kidding Soph, like jaw dropping."

"Oh! Now I'm really curious. Do you have a picture?"

Fiona chortled, "Yeah, there's no chance in hell she's gonna let that happen! She's super, super, rigid. And, as if that's not frustrating enough, I'm equally intrigued by her. It's not just her looks. She's in my freaking head Soph! She's been appropriately professional and extremely, I don't know, 'stiff.' It is so hard to be around her and it's getting harder. 'Cause both things going on at once is exhausting."

"So, are you curious or infatuated? Can you get a new assistant?" Sophie's voice was kind and compassionate; she was not accusing Fee of anything.

Fee sighed,"I probably should get a new detail. She mentioned that there might be other options. I just can't. It's not a real consideration. I feel like I'm spinning here."

"Wow. I wish I were there to help you through this. I guess I would just caution you to be careful. If you're unsure of your feelings you probably don't want to put the professional relationship at risk. You can't define your feelings right?"

"No. You're right." Fiona sighed, "I can't."

"Have you ever been attracted to another woman before? Or is this totally new?"

Fee considered for a moment,"I've definitely 'seen' beauty and grace in other women, but I'm not certain I would characterize my feelings toward them as attraction, in a romantic or sexual way. Maybe, respect, or awe, or jealousy, a crush, to a degree. So, no, this is definitely different and new."

"And you're getting no 'read' from your assistant?"

"Jane? No. Nothing. Only that she prefers to keep our relationship professional. She's very thoughtful, detail oriented, my safety is clearly her priority but she's also concerned with my comfort level in everything that she does."

Sophie cut right to the chase. "Fee is she gay?"

"Ummmmm. I'm not sure, I'm not good at that 'read.' She's just really reserved and cut off. I do know that men and women alike seem to be drawn to her. I've seen it. They can't help it Sophie, people drool over this woman, it's her beauty and her confidence."

"Okay, Love." Sophie smiled into the phone at her friend's conundrum. "Just keep 'showing up.' Just keep the lines of communication open, keep inviting her to share small parts of herself and then be content with what she gives you or doesn't give you. Get to know her if she'll let you. You have time."

Fee sighed, "You're right, that makes sense, but it's different 'in the moment.' When she's standing right in front of you making it hard to breathe and focus."

Sophie laughed, "Fair enough. I didn't say it would be easy! And don't stress over 'who you are' or who you may be attracted to. You're an amazing person. I'm pretty confident you'll figure out what people you want to surround yourself with and make exceptional choices."

Fiona's eyes filled with emotion and love for her friend. "Sophie, you're the best. I miss you."

Sophie laughed with joy, "You know where I am! Come visit me! I miss those beautiful green eyes!"

"Thank's Soph. Love you!" Fiona beamed at the compliment from her friend.

"Bye Fee, don't be a stranger, I'm here for you!" Sophie cut the line and Fiona sighed, missing her friend immediately.

----

Jane did not receive a communication from Fiona Saturday morning. She used her time liasoning with William going over final details and data for the dinner. There were no red flags with regard to security threats from the guests or the staff but William had uncovered some unsavory information about Alexander.

Jane listened carefully to William's words. "It seems while he was at Princeton he was dating a young lady in his sophomore year. There may have been a sexual assault, the school does not have any official records, but the the campus police have a record of the young woman redacting an assault complaint. She ended up leaving the university. There is no paper trail which leads directly to Alexander. He left a month early from his spring semester and returned in the Fall for his junior year."

Jane tensed at the report. She didn't like the idea of Alexander pursuing Fiona but there was no evidentiary support that he assaulted her, just innuendo. Jane would make sure to get a 'read' on him immediately. "Thank you William." Jane terminated the call. She sat in the apartment deep in thought. Replaying her conversation with Fiona over lunch. She was drawn out of her thoughts when her phone chimed with an incoming text.

"good morning jane"

"lunch?"

Jane smiled and returned a text in professional language.

"That's a good idea Ms Donovan. We can review for tonight. I will be back for you shortly. Please advise on the locale."

"how about here?"

"take out?"

"Very good, I can pick something up on the way over. What are you craving?"

Fiona grimaced at the last text and flushed.

"Sushi i will call in the order to Kintaro"

"what are you eating"

"I'll eat anything. It's up to you. See you soon, Ms Donovan."

Fiona smiled, remembering Sophie's words as she dialed Kintaro, "Just keep 'showing up.' Just keep the lines of communication open, keep inviting her to share small parts of herself and then be content with what she gives you or doesn't give you. Get to know her if she'll let you. You have time."