No More Pain

33: No More Pain

Jane found herself in a familiar position in the condo, watching Fiona as she sat gazing out at the city. "Fee, you will need a formal dress for the gala in New York. Do you want me to contact Isabel and make arrangements for a selection and fitting tomorrow? We really should allow them a few days for preparation."

"Okay," she smiled, her eyes looking clouded with thought. "I guess this means you'll be leaving soon."

"Four days." Jane's throat tightened and she felt an unfamiliar ache that was matched only by the unfamiliar joy she had experienced in the last weeks.

"Jane, come sit with me. Can I ask you a question?"

Jane smiled and moved to the sofa with Fiona. She sat down lifting Fiona's legs and draping them over her lap. Jane settled in and joined Fiona in her gaze out over the skyline. "Always. You can always ask." Fiona nodded and continued her gaze as she worked to formulate her line of questioning. Jane waited patiently, she lightly drew her fingertips over Fiona's legs. Sitting together on the couch they enjoyed the casual moment and the silence.

"Would you tell me about your scars?"

Jane tensed slightly but when she looked into Fiona's eyes she was so overwhelmed by the raw compassion shining through that she immediately felt comforted. She shifted slowly and kissed her, letting her lips linger before she moved back. She rotated on the sofa to face Fiona. Jane positioned herself so she sat between Fiona's legs. Fiona relaxed her legs and let her knees bend and her feet rest on the couch. Jane wrapped her arms around each of Fiona's knees and thighs. She methodically moved her fingers across her skin as her mind tumbled with memory and consideration.

"Are you certain you want to hear this?" Jane's voice was laced with concern. "It will be hard to hear, I don't want you to suffer. In any way."

"I love you. You know that. I don't want you to suffer alone. Do they cause you pain?"

Jane nodded, her voice tightened slightly, "Sometimes, yes. It can be painful, sometimes. Fee there's a kind of program. A process. I worked through it, after. I'm okay now."

"Jane," Fee pleaded softly. "I don't have much time. I want to share as much as I can with you. I want to love you. I want you to know that there is someone out there that understands your joys and sorrows. I'm not a 'program.' I want to help take that pain away."

Jane swallowed thickly. Jane's heart swelled in her chest and her throat tightened with emotion. She felt like loving Fiona any more than she did in that moment was an impossibility. "You're perfect. You're right. You are not a program, you are not a distraction, you are not an assignment." Jane felt a hot tear spill over the edge of her eye. "You are my shore. You've had me coming back to you since we met." Jane smiled softly. "You're right, you can take that pain away."

Jane took a deep breath to steady herself. "I love you too. I want you to know that I'm going to be fine. I want you to remember, your love drives all pain and sorrow away." Fiona nodded and tensed slightly. Jane took a deep and slow breath, watching Fiona carefully. "I spent some time on an assignment and I developed a relationship." Jane struggled in framing the situation without giving away too much information regarding the true nature of her job. "It was intense and complicated." Jane smiled softly, easing some of the tension, "Does that sound familiar?"

"Oh, yes. I see." Fiona relaxed a little bit, grateful for the mild levity. She thought quickly back to Jane's rigid distance in their relationship.

Jane smiled,"Yes, you have made this contract wonderfully complicated." She continued, "Most of the scars you see on my body, well, he is responsible." Jane watched as Fiona's eyes widened with surprise and shock.

Fiona's eyes drifted over Jane's body as she recalled all the subtle marks and she had been kissing over the past weeks. Her mind tumbled with thoughts and questions. "He? Tortured you?" Fiona felt her body trembling lightly. She pulled a pillow from the couch and hugged it. "Jane? Torture?"

Jane's gaze was steady, just barely laced with lingering pain. "Yes, Fiona. I was on an international job, it was different. The culture. And I was assigned to a very powerful man. He wanted to make sure everyone knew how powerful he was." Jane paused, gauging Fiona's reaction carefully. "Okay? Do you want me to continue?" Fiona nodded and quickly pulled her sleeve over her eyes wiping away tears.

"Remember, no pain." Jane took a breath and continued. "I was with him for several weeks. I recognized growing aggression in his behavior but it was nothing that I couldn't handle."

Fiona's brow furrowed with confusion. "Why didn't you just leave him? Why didn't you just end the contract?"

Jane sighed softly, "I couldn't, Fee. I couldn't bring myself to leave him." Jane knew her explanation would sound like it was a romantic relationship. She cringed internally.

"But it wasn't love?"

"No." Jane smiled softly again, "I haven't known that until you."

Fiona nodded. She moved in, stealing a lingering, soft kiss before Jane continued.Jane smiled into Fiona's mouth. "You're perfect." She reached up and cradled Fiona's jaw pressing back in and rising up off the cushions.

Fiona's eyes rolled with pleasure but she was able to maintain enough focus to pull away and stop Jane's pursuit. "I love you. I'm not perfect. Please tell me the rest."

Jane winced softly. "I love you too." She shifted back and continued in a compassionate tone, knowing that Fiona would suffer hearing the rest. "One day I angered him. I made a mistake. I thought I was in control. He surprised me and I found myself overpowered and vulnerable." Jane's voice caught just slightly, "He took his time, reminding me that he was in control. He restrained me, he cut me, and he raped me."

Fiona's chest painfully constricted. "But you're 'trained,' you told me."

"Yes, he was too. Military and very dangerous. But, in the end, I was deadly. I made a mistake Fiona but I did not fail. I'm alive. And that will never happen to me again." Jane watched Fiona struggling to reconcile what happened to her and the action she took.

When Fiona's eyes rose to meet Jane's they were filled with tenderness and love. Jane felt her body respond immediately. Jane's voice mirrored the tenderness and love she saw in Fiona's eyes. "Fiona, if you kiss me now, I promise you that all the remaining pain & anguish will be driven away forever."

Fiona's eyes widened and she blinked processing Jane's words. She looked into the woman's eyes and saw certainty and love. Fiona saw that Jane spoke the truth, she could drive that pain away. Fiona sat up, pulling her legs back, she moved slowly toward Jane focusing on her full lips. As she closed the distance she could see Jane's eyes dilate and her lips break expectantly open.

Jane felt Fiona connect with her mouth so softly and so tenderly that she whimpered when she felt the tactile euphoria. She let Fiona fold her lips and tongue into her warm skin. Fiona's lips felt like silk, like warm cushions of sweet flesh. Jane tasted love and compassion. Fiona framed Jane's face with her hands and pushed and pulled with her mouth in perfect balance and tempo. Jane's eyes rolled and her body relaxed releasing all her anguish.

When Fiona broke the kiss she spoke softly, her lips brushing across Jane's. "No more pain?"

"No more pain."

----

"Good afternoon Ms. Baker! We were so happy to hear from you again!" Jane smiled at Isabel and Heather. Heather's gaze lingered and Fiona could see her body shift and tense in response to Jane's proximity.

"We are happy that you could accomodate us on such short notice." Jane smiled and stepped back slightly.

"Ms. Donovan will need a formal gown for a gala in New York. She'll need a selection and fitting for 2 gowns, just in case. Both will need to be delivered to the Ritz Carlton, Battery Park, by Friday night. Can you make that happen Isabel?"

"Absolutely!" She smiled at Fiona, "You are so beautiful, I think you would make any gown look stunning."

"I agree Isabel." Jane smiled at Fee letting her gaze linger long enough for it to be noticeable to both the sales women. Fiona smiled appreciating the public declaration. "Ms. Donovan, I have some preparations to make for our trip. I'll leave you here in their capable hands." She turned to Heather, "Would you please call me when you're 15 minutes out from completing the fittings?"

"Certainly, Ms. Baker." Heather smiled and Fiona could see disappointment in her eyes.

"Thank you, please also send some pictures to this number once Ms. Donovan decides." She turned toward Fiona, "Ms. Donovan, I would like to have the jeweler go ahead and select pieces that will be appropriate. Do I have your permission?"

"Of course, Jane. Thank you."

"Very good, have fun. I will be back for you." Jane smiled before walking out.

----

Jane was on her cell as she walked out of the boutique. "William, I'm on my way in to go over the details of Saturday's event. I'll meet with Agent Foster first and then you to go over the details. Ms. Donovan will be sending you photos soon of her dress please have the tracking devices reset in appropriate pieces."

—-

Agent Foster sat reviewing Jane's report.

"Agent Poe has reported in. He will be arriving and setting up on Friday night. He has his directives. It looks like you're all set with your preparations. I noticed you have no additional intel regarding Micropath or Colin Donovan."

"Only the nuance I gathered from discussing Ms. Donovan's relationship with her father. It seems rather compartmentalized. Additionally, I think he's more comfortable in the lab than in the boardroom. You may want to look more closely at the top shareholders that have close ties to Dr. Donovan. He canceled his mid-week meeting with Ms. Donovan but will see her before the gala."

Agent Foster nodded. "Everything looks in order on my end. See Agent Couch and then William on your way out. Good luck Agent Baker."

----

Agent Couch smiled at Jane sizing the young agent up unapologetically. She had no report in her hands. "Agent Baker, I see you have continued your 'attachment' with Ms. Donovan?" It was half a question and half a statement.

"Yes."

"How has it evolved, devolved, or changed?"

"As we have spent more and more time together the relationship has intensified." Jane realized that it felt good to describe the nature of her connection with Fiona accurately. "It has not interfered with the operation, it has allowed me to gain more personal perspective from Ms. Donovan."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"It's beneficial, but I feel some reservation, shades of guilt. Because her safety, as well as, others is still my number one priority I justify the deception."

Agent Couch nodded, continuing to push "Do you love her Agent Baker?"

Jane met her gaze evenly. "Yes."

"How did you let this attachment develop?" Agent Couch's tone was simple matter-of-fact.

"I'm not sure, Agent Couch. I have asked myself that question more than once." Jane knew at this juncture she would not be pulled from the assignment, they were too close. Agent Couch was now determining Jane's ability to continue with the Post Office.

"Do you see this as a failure? A mistake?"

"No. Not a mistake, an unintended relationship has developed. A failure? No." Jane bristled slightly, "Ms. Donovan is not a mistake and I have not failed."

"And when this operation ends?"

"I will need the full standard time to shed my skin."

"Thank you Agent Baker, you are free to go."

----

Jane focused on William, not letting Agent Couch's session distract her. "Agent Baker, we will outfit the pieces for Ms. Donovan and send them to New York. We will also be tracking you in the same way, we will send those pieces along. What will your attire be?"

"I'll be wearing a black gown, formal but I will be very much in the background of the event. Classic jewelry should do."

"Very good. We will outfit you with a full communications system and you'll have access to me, an onsite 5-man team, and Agent Poe. If Agent Poe requires your assistance Ms. Donovan becomes your second priority." Jane nodded as William continued. "Following the operation, disengage within 24 hours, clean all locations, and come in to shed your skin.

"Understood."

"Good luck Agent Baker."

----

Jane arrived to pick up Fiona from the boutique. She walked in and found Isabel speaking lightly with her about Micropath's charity work, New York, and the excitement of a formal gala. Heather smiled at Jane and stepped closer speaking to her as she watched Isabel and Fiona wrap up their conversation.

"Ms. Baker, Ms. Donovan will need a final fitting Saturday morning. We have called the Ritz and made arrangements for one of their recommended tailors to come to Ms. Donovan's room to complete the work."

Jane turned to Heather and smiled with gratitude, "Thank you again for your attention to detail Heather. You are very good at your job. I have truly enjoyed our time together."

Heather blushed and stared at Jane's lips, "Should I assume then we won't be seeing you again?"

"Yes. My priority is now, and always has been, Ms. Donovan."

Heather smiled softly. "Yes, Ms. Baker, I can see that." Her eyes moved over Fiona who smiled genuinely. Heather whispered softly to Ms. Baker, "She seems to be an exception among the exceptional. I wish you the very best, you look 'right' together."

"Thank you, Heather." Jane turned toward Fiona who was now approaching, "Ms. Donovan, are you ready?"

"Yes Jane, thank you."