Chapter 220 Undo this hurt

“Have you found her parents?” Constantine asked.

“I followed the bounty hunter. He found her father but he is dead. The hunter is now looking for the mother and sister. I will keep an eye on him and try to find them myself as well.”

Constantine nodded. “Find them soon and make sure no one knows.”

“Yes, My Lord.”

Constantine dismissed the shade. He wasn’t sure what he would do with Roxana’s found family but he had been growing impatient. While he was here waiting, Skender had found his mate and was enjoying himself. Constantine had been keeping an eye on Roxana, carefully considering what to do with her. He didn’t want Skender on his bad side no matter what. The demon had a destroyer so he wouldn’t care who he killed if his mate was touched. Therefore Constantine tried to find safe yet effective strategies to get results. He would either provoke his father or he would provoke Skender and make it seem like the provocation came from his father.

There had been a time when he wanted to go to his father and tell him that there is a destroying demon who wanted to destroyer him and then hope for his father to take the wrong actions to eliminate him causing his own downfall. But Constantine knew his father. His father was too clever. He hadn’t been ruling for so long without reason. His father would probably use the enemy to defeat the enemy. He would expose the destroyer to the arch so they would kill one of their own. The safest way was to attack his father without him expecting it. That was why Constantine thought his second idea was better. He would provoke Skender but pin it on his father. And what better way to do it than to scare his mate away in the process? Show her the monster he could become.

He laughed. And she was religious. This just made it more fun. A demon? He laughed again.

“Sig?”

“Yes, My lord.”

“I want you to arrange for a dangerous mission. There will be a few deaths.”

“We are ready to die, My Lord.”

Of course. They thought he was doing all this to dethrone his father and take over. But Constantine wasn’t sure he would be alive by then. Many wars would follow. Wars between themselves and maybe even with the demons. The shades would not take on of their leaders being killed so lightly. They would expect him as the next leader to avenge them which he had no desire to do.

This was probably why Skender avoided this. As a defender, there was no reason to cause war just for a woman who left him and who was already dead. But would he be able to contain himself when it came to his mate? Especially since he already lost a woman he loved to the shades. Constantine didn’t think so. Both of them would have to prepare for hell.

*************

Skender left Roxana with warmth filling his chest mixed with dread. There was this feeling, the feeling of bad things happening every time something good came along.

“You are afraid.” The destroyer pointed.

Skender remained silent.

“I have been thinking…” the destroyer began.

This wasn’t the destroyer’s way of talking so it only meant he had been doing some real thinking and he was going to say some surprising things again.

“If she… betrays you, if she betrays us… I will kill her.”

Skender froze and then a cold tremor went down his spine. It was like someone poured ice-cold water along his spine. Why? Why would he suddenly say such a thing?

“You said we should become inseparable. That means sharing everything. I am sharing your pain and your thoughts now. I can feel them all and see them much clearer.”

Oh no!

“You have been carrying my pain and your pain alone all these years but I am here now. I won’t let anyone hurt us. I am your selfishness. The one who looks out for us.”

Skender shook his head, still frozen from what he heard.

“You have endured a lot of betrayals. We won’t accept any more betrayal. If she becomes one of them, I will finish her.”

“No.” Skender breathed. “You can’t do that. We can’t do that. It would kill us.”

“I know.” His voice was a sad whisper. “Then so be it. We will die too.”

“What is wrong with you? Suddenly…”

“I was the one stopping you from dying. If she betrays us, what is the point of living? Would you willingly stay alive and endure more years of heartbreak? I am not willing to endure pain. I will kill her and then I will let us die.”

He was indeed his selfishness.

“You wouldn’t be able to even if it meant you would die after.”

The destroyer chuckled darkly. “That would be if I was only a demon. I am a destroyer.” He reminded.

Skender shivered and then clenched his hands into fists. “You will do no such thing!” He ordered firmly. “And you will not even think it! I don’t want to ever hear it again!”

The destroyer remained silent for a while. “I don’t want to say it either. I truly want us to be happy.”

“And her. Sometimes, even if it hurts, seeing the one you love happy even if it is without you makes you happy.”

“No!” The destroyer disagreed strongly.

Skender wanted to disagree too but there was some truth to it. He knew he would rather have Ramona alive and happy with Constantine than have her dead.

“You will agree one day. It seems like we have more merging to do.”

“I don’t want to merge then if you have such stupid ideas.”

Skender chuckled.

“Do you think she will betray us? I thought you trusted her.”

“I just know she belongs to us.”

“I am sure instinct is more than just that. What does your instinct tell you?”

He took some time to think. “She feels right,” was all he said.

“Then I will trust my instinct and I will trust her.”

The destroyer was silent and Skender realized all this time he hadn’t even been trusting himself let alone thinking of trusting someone else. He hadn’t been listening to himself, taking care of himself, and loving himself. His hatred was mostly directed at himself. That was why he needed to hear that he wasn’t useless from the destroyer. From himself.

He walked back home instead of teleporting. Slowly the cold left his body and he got his strength back with each step. Tonight he would tell Roxana everything. He knew the demon part would be the hardest because of her beliefs. It wouldn’t be an easy decision for her. He couldn’t even imagine her reaction. He didn’t think it would be fear as much as a denial, not because he wasn’t human but because he was specifically a demon.

Back in the castle, Vitale came to him directly with some information. Skender held his hand up to stop him. “Not yet. I want to rest some more.”

Vitale looked at him surprised. Skender ignored his reaction and went to get some more of that good sleep that he had last night. He hadn’t had much sleep in many centuries. And oh, his bed smelled of Roxana. This was a haven. To hell with Royal duties. He would rest in heaven for a while.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

Skender had the sweetest slumber and woke up feeling most refreshed. His first thought was Roxana. He couldn’t wait to see her.

Going to the window, he looked outside. It was still much time left before she would come. He wanted to wait patiently but he came up with excuses to see her sooner instead. Maybe he could walk her to work. Would she find him noisy? Would he come off too strong? To adherent.

He sighed impatiently and decided to go see her sooner anyway. Maybe they could spend some time on their way here before he threw all information on her. Have more time to ease her into it.

Within a second he stood outside her home. The strange sound of a silent cry caught his attention. He paused, straining his ears. His heartbeat accelerated. What happened? As he made his way to the door he suddenly heard Roxana’s loud cry.

He stiffened at the heartwrenching cry. “No! Please, father. Don’t leave me.”

No, Skender thought with dread. Please no.

This cry was too familiar. This pain. It was so much like the time he found his parents dead. He had almost used the exact same words.

The images came back to mind. Holding his parent’s dead bodies. Pleading them not to leave him alone. It was the last kind of pain he wanted Roxana to experience.

He teleported himself inside and found her curled on the ground. Again it brought back some memories. He had lied curled on the cold ground for several days after his parents’ deaths. In the old dark mansion, the sun had risen and fallen several times but he just lay there, time becoming nothing but passing days of pain.

“Roxana.”

She stiffened and then turned to him. Her face wet, her eyes red and swollen. His heart broke over and over again as he held her shaking body while she cried. He didn’t know what to say to soothe her pain. What could possibly soothe wounds that were so fresh? He just let her cry out as much as she wanted. Let her grieve.

He then took her to bed and spoke to her in his language unable to remain quiet when her crying didn’t decrease. He told her it would be alright and was glad she didn’t understand because at the moment she probably felt like nothing would be alright. That the world was crumbling. But even though she couldn’t understand his words he was glad she could feel his intent and that it calmed her a little.