Chapter 53

Sophia stood in the clearing, with warm feelings grasping at her heart. She fondly remembered the night, the night Neil took her there to shift. She smiled at the memory. Neil stood there before her, tall, proud, and maybe a little bit, hers, she hoped. He was waiting to train her in something, though what it was, she had no idea. Scott and Connor knew though, because they had had a hushed conversation in the kitchen while Sophia had gotten ready to go. And before she had walked out the door, Connor had told her good luck. Good luck for what? she had thought.

It was a crescent moon, rather than a full one, so the beams didn’t light the earth like it had the previous time they were there. But it was still beautiful. The silvery white rays delicately touched the tips of the tree branches that swayed in the night breeze. The stars shone bright and twinkled in their sea of darkness like flickering Christmas lights. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a shooting star. Neil saw it too.

“Make a wish.” Neil said.

Sophia thought for a minute, slightly amused at Neil being fanciful. What should she wish for? Too easy. She wouldn’t want to waste a wish, but she would have to veil it carefully, whether it would come true or not. And she definitely didn’t want Neil to know exactly what her wish entailed.

“I wish--”

Neil stopped her with a finger on her lips.

“You can’t tell me what you wish for, Sophia. You can’t tell anyone. If you do, then it won’t come true.”

He took her hand and closed her fist then pressed it to her chest.

“Keep your wish in here, a safely guarded secret, that’s only between you and the star.”

She smiled at him. The layers of hard shell that fell off with each passing day revealed a more amazing man than had been there the day before. And to be honest, the man the day before was fantastic. He was everything her twelve-year-old heart could have hoped for when she would write of what she wanted in her diary. He was everything she had dreamt of on those long torturous nights. Neil was everything she wanted, every minute of every day. She made her wish. A wish she would never share because she wouldn’t risk that it wouldn’t come true.

When a few minutes had passed and the magic of the moment was swept out of the clearing and away, it was time.

“I have to show you something, Sophia. Something that you’re going to have to learn how to do, if the goddesses bless you with the ability.”

She looked at him in shock. His wording was rather peculiar. If the goddesses blessed her with the ability? What the hell? She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and scraped it along her right canine. She hated that habit and vowed that once everything was over and done with, it would be one she would break. She viewed it as a sign of weakness now. It was a sign of fear or nervousness, and it was something she had done from age twelve to eighteen. That alone meant it had to go.

“Okay. What?”

Before she had gotten the last word out, Neil was changing before her eyes. Hair grew out of his skin and his bones were breaking to reform snapped and cracked in the silence of the night with its loud popping noises. His chest cavity popped forward and claws grew out of his hands in place of his nails. His eyes turned feral and glowed. His ears pointed and his nose grew, and his teeth gleamed, the razor-sharp points sticking out from the sides of his mouth. He paced once, twice, then shifted back in reverse.

Sophia stumbled back.

“But, what…Holy shit. How did you fucking do that?”

Neil stood before her after shifting back, smirking at her using the word fucking. Sophia was so distracted and shocked by what she had seen that she hadn’t noticed that he was standing in front of her completely naked. That was probably a good thing, because she was so shocked she doubted she would be able to control what popped out of her mouth before she was able to filter her thoughts.

“Uh, hold on.” He reached in the backpack and pulled out a pair of boxers and slipped them on. There were jeans in the pack, and extra clothes of hers that she saw were spilling out of the top.

“Sophia, I can shift. The phase of the moon doesn’t matter. I can shift anytime. Day or night. Anywhere.”

“But how?”

“I’ll tell you. But then I’m going to need you to try. And we will stay out here until you are able to complete the transformation or it’s clear the goddess isn’t going to bless you with the ability. But I think she will. Come with me. We will begin in a minute, but I need you to know that this is important and could be a matter of life and death, for you, and for others as well.”

He took her hand and guided her to a log where they sat side by side. His thigh brushed against hers, but he kept his upper body turned toward her, watching, searching.

“It’s hard, but it’s important, you understand?”

She was slightly annoyed at the way he was talking to her like she was a child. She understood what important meant, without him repeating it.

“The thing about forcing a shift is that it doesn’t follow the moon. The phase of the moon doesn’t play into it in any way and that’s a contradiction of everything you learned growing up. It’s against everything they taught you in school. It’s all about mind over matter. There are a couple things you need to understand, in order for you to fully grasp how you will mentally transition to wolf. I need you to concentrate, okay?”

“I will,” Sophia said, with wide eyes. She also decided that Scott was a way better teacher than Neil.

“I know you will. I know it.”

He lay his hand over hers. Okay, she thought. So maybe Neil wasn’t that bad of a teacher. She had to force her eyes away from his hand resting on top of hers and the tingly feeling that made her want to wiggle her fingers.

“Okay. So, the moon affects the water. It controls the tides, therefore it affects the water, right?” He asked, not really wanting an answer. He continued. “Your body, all our bodies, are seventy percent water. With enough conviction and belief in self, the moon’s energy that exists in the atmosphere, day or night, full or crescent, it doesn’t matter. That energy can be channeled rather than manipulated to force the transition. It’s about channeling what’s within you and around you. Do you understand?”

“I think so. It’s like meditation, but not. It’s digging within you and then transforming it to make what you want to happen, happen. And in this case, that’s a shift.”

“Right. Now there’s more. Next is the mind to muscle and bone connection. You experience it when you shift on the full moon. It’s no different, except you must take it to a deeper level of consciousness. Think of fitness enthusiasts. Whatever muscle they are exercising, they imagine the muscles flexing, the extension, or the abduction of movement. The focus on the contraction and the relaxation of the muscle movement they are doing. They focus on the feeling of each one they are training. That’s what this is. Except it’s both muscle, and bone. You focus on it, you see it, you will do it. Do you understand?”

“I know what you’re saying, but I don’t think I can do it.”

“There’s one more part.”

He rummaged in the backpack and pulled out a sealed baggie.

“This is only for the beginning. To help you transform, and then to shift back without any ill effects. You will take it, daily, until we are all safe from the insanity your father is imposing. But after, you shouldn’t need it. Here,” he held it out to her.

“What is it?”

“It’s okay, it’s safe, I promise. It’s just Hawthorne berries and rowan. It’s sacred to the goddess and brings strength, protection and health.”

“Did you ever take it?”

“I did. I don’t anymore, but I have.”

He picked up on her trepidation.

“Sophia, look at me.”

She looked at him and he gripped her chin in his hand and raised her head, so her eyes met his.

“I would never, ever give you anything that would cause you harm. Never.”

She looked deeply into his eyes. Searching for what she didn’t know, because she knew without a doubt that he would never hurt her.

“What if I can’t? What if I can’t do this?”

“I believe you can. But if you can’t, it’s no failure for you. Either you’re not ready, or the goddess isn’t willing to do it. But it won’t be a failure for you.”

“Okay. I’ll try.” She took the herbs and swallowed them with a sip from the bottle of water he handed her from the bag.

“Don’t be hesitant, just close your eyes and take a deep breath. In for four counts, hold for five counts, and release for eight and give it your best shot.”

Sophia follows Neil’s instructions with great reluctance but she also trusted that he would not steer her wrong. She took a deep breath and his voice guided her. She listened to his words, focused on completing what he said each step at a time.

“Feel your muscles tighten. Keep breathing...focus on your hair, your fur and feel each hair follicle individually. Keep breathing.”

She concentrated, following his instructions the best that she could.

“Almost like goosebumps, Sophia, running across your body in combination with the static of your feet and arms falling asleep. Numb them. Let the water flow.”

She squeezed her eyes tighter. There was so much to concentrate on at one time. This was harder than school, and she was trying harder than she ever had at school.

“This shift is different. let it be different. This won’t hurt. It’s not comfortable, but it won’t hurt. Don’t be afraid of it. You are, I can see you holding back.”

She felt every subtle change of her bones and muscles. Her ears were enhanced, and she heard the night’s noises, so many noises.

Sensing her panic, he assured her it’s just an animal, or animals. When he couldn’t get her back on track, he sighed and he told her to stop.

“If you are hearing the sounds, if you hear the outside world, you are not connected enough. It would have failed.”

“I failed.” She said as tears filled her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you didn’t fail. The transformation was a failure. Now try again. Cue yourself this time. Go at your own pace. Transition when you’re ready. Listen only to yourself. Now. Breathe.”

This time when she tries, he doesn’t use his voice. He lets his touch walk her through it. He touches different points of her latissimus dorsi, trapezius, deltoids, triceps. Feeling her success under his hands he moves to her hamstrings, quadriceps, bicep brachii. She was focusing so hard it radiated off her in electromagnetic waves. She channeled and then harnessed it. She transformed.

She opened her eyes as he was transforming. When he was done, her excitement was overwhelming, and she pounced on him. They rolled in the dirt and nipped each other playfully until they were both covered in dirt. He rolled her over and jumped to his feet, then they took off, with him leading this time.

Neil knew that she would need to run the energy off. If she didn’t and tried to transform back, it could make her sick. He also knew he needed to release some energy so he could get his thoughts together. She shifted into wolf, but he still needed to get her to shift back. That was the scary part. If he couldn’t guide her back to human, if he couldn’t get her to shift, then she would be stuck in wolf form. While that was her most powerful being, where her greatest strength would lie, it’s not the life to lead. She needed both in order to be who she was meant to be. He had to do this right, so they ran. They ran until he felt the energy of the forced transformation return to normal. They didn’t go back to the cliff ledge where they had gazed the night of the first shift. He didn’t have time, just in case bringing her back was harder than he thought. He eyed the sky, while they didn’t have to worry about the moon going down or the sun coming up, he didn’t want any morning hikers stumbling upon them either. He gave a little howl and she responded, then he guided her back to the clearing.