Lust: Chapter 6

His sigh is so heavy it’s almost a groan. I discreetly peek over my shoulder to see him staring at his laptop with a clenched jaw.

I’m annoying him. Badly.

It’s not like I’m constantly asking him questions and distracting him from his work. I’m a pro at organizing books and articles. Any questions I’ve asked have been to make the process of researching easy for him.

I’m intruding on his space. That must be it. Or maybe he wanted to organize the books himself. I would much prefer to do my own organizing if I were in his shoes. But then why did he let it go for so long? Why did he make it sound like such a burden?

He lets out another loud sigh before standing up from his desk. It’s probably the tenth time he’s gotten up to leave during the last two hours I’ve been organizing.

“Do you want coffee?” he asks.

I do want coffee, but he sounds like the last thing in the world he wants to do right now is get it for me.

“No, I’m fine.”

He’s gone for a long time, so I do my best to stay focused on my work. But as his absence extends, the more I find myself struggling to concentrate.

If he really didn’t want me to organize these books, he should have said so. I never took him for passive aggressive. He’s always so open and assertive with my family. He’s even scolded me on occasion. Like on Fourth of July a few years ago when I stood too close to the cone fountain firework. Brandon yanked me away and took the stick lighter from my hand. “I’m revoking your pyrotechnician privileges,” he said in a deep, stern voice that tied my stomach into knots.

I wish he would have spanked me.

Fuck, I need to keep my imagination in check. I can’t be horny for Brandon during work hours if I want him to see how good I am at my job.

I glance at the book in my hand, determined to keep focused on my task. Based on the title, it seems to be an introductory text on pastoral counseling. I bet he rarely uses this. He’s already skilled at counseling. It should probably go on one of the top shelves. I glance up to the open space on the far-left corner.

I can’t reach that, even if I go on my tiptoes and stretch my arm. Brandon is probably the only person here tall enough to reach that far…

I won’t be asking the grump to help me. I’ll find a stepladder before I do that.

When I peek out into the lobby, Harper is nowhere to be found. After looking around Brandon’s office, I make a quick decision. I grab the ottoman near the couches and roll it in front of the bookshelf. I step up onto it and stretch my arm as high as I can.

I’m still not high enough. Maybe I could—

“Mariana!” A deep voice booms.

I whip my head around, and the ottoman rolls underneath my feet. As I flail backward, time seems to slow. I brace for the impact, but it never comes.

Instead, I find myself wrapped in Brandon’s strong arms, his chest cushioning my fall. The textbook plops in front of me.

Our eyes meet, and for a moment, neither of us can look away. His eyes are almost black.

“Are you alright?” he asks breathlessly.

I nod, unable to speak, my cheeks burning. How did I let that happen? A rolling ottoman of all things. Of course I was going to fall.

“You’re sure you’re not hurt?” His big hand comes up and cradles the back of my head. “It looked like you clipped the desk.”

“No.” I swallow, shaking my head. “You caught me in time.”

His eyes narrow. “Barely.”

“Barely was perfect in this case. I didn’t hit my head.”

“But you could have.” His voice is biting, and it makes heat pool in my belly.

Oh God, I love being scolded by him with that stern daddy voice and those dark eyes cutting into me. This is the way he looked that night with the fireworks.

Except his huge arms weren’t wrapped around me. He wasn’t cradling me in his lap while his breath brushed against my skin.

Right now, we’re close enough to kiss.

“I thought I had better balance than that.” My voice is husky. “I’m a hiker. I’ve stood on wobbly boulders before.”

Brandon’s face is flushed. His gaze roves to my mouth. “I didn’t know you liked to hike.”

“I love it.”

His lips move a little closer.

Oh, fuck.

Is he going to kiss me?

Of their own will, my lips part. His nostrils flare, and a moment later, I’m being lifted into the air and set down on my feet.

“Just because you can stand on unstable surfaces, doesn’t mean you should when you have other options. Next time you need help, come find me.”

I wave a hand. “I still climb my parents’ oak tree when I need to get a ball off the roof for my nieces and nephews.”

His eyes flash. “Do your parents know you do that?”

My tummy flutters. I love it when he acts like a daddy.

But I can’t let him see how much I love it.

I shoot him a cheeky smile. “Why don’t you tell them, Pastor? Get me grounded.”

He narrows his eyes as his lips quirk. “Watch it, young lady.”

I let out a laugh even as pressure builds in my belly. I’ll bet he says things like this to his sexual partners.

No, I’m certain of it.

Goddamn it, I’ll never know him that way, and in the moment, that feels like a tragedy.

His smile fades. “You should probably go get your things. It’s well past five.”

“Oh.” I jerk back and tuck a strand of hair behind my ears. “I didn’t realize that.”

His gaze lingers on my face. What is he thinking? Why are those dark eyes so…

Intense?

Brandon

What a disaster.

That’s what I get for avoiding her intentionally. If only I had kept myself under control, she wouldn’t have been without me when she needed my help.

She could have been seriously hurt. Her head was a hair away from slamming on the corner of my desk. My pulse was pounding like a hammer when I saw her fall.

And it kept hammering.

It’s pounding still.

“Well, I’m heading out.”

Her husky voice curls through my insides, clenching my gut. With effort, I keep my head down for a beat, not wanting her to see my inner turmoil on my face. I form what I hope is a polite smile before looking up. “You did great today.”

She snorts. “I know you’re lying. You’ve been annoyed with me all day. I’m sorry I invaded your space.”

My head jerks back. Is that really what she thinks? “Mariana, I haven’t been annoyed with you at all.”

She stares at me skeptically, making my face warm. God, I must have really been transparent today, though she misinterpreted the reason. How could I have allowed myself to be so cold to her?

“I mean it,” I say. “I’ve been very stressed today about…something else, and I’m realizing now that I must have taken it out on you. For that, I’m very sorry.”

She expels a breath through pursed lips. “I didn’t even think of that. I’m sorry if I took it personally.”

I shake my head sharply. “Don’t apologize. It was your first day. You’re helping me out of a bind. And here I was rude to you. I am very sorry.”

She smiles sweetly, and something loosens in my chest.

Oh God, this isn’t good. This pent-up lust is swaying into tender territory, and I can’t feel tenderness for this woman.

Not this kind of tenderness, at least. It’s not at all familial.

It’s the kind that makes me want to pull her onto my lap and nuzzle my face against hers. I want to call her my Mariana.

Clearly, aiming for distance from her didn’t do me a lick of good.

God, please show me the way. Help me through this.