Chapter 9 - Almost...Almost...Nah Got You Again!

Matt didn’t see Kristen again until break. He’d forced himself to stay human, the pain trying but failing to fight back. It had left him panting and reaching for breath in the middle of the alleyway. Thank god Kristen had disappeared otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to calm down and suck in a lung full of oxygen. It was hard enough doing it around himself nevermind doing it with someone staring at him and judging his movements. Raspberries still lingered in the air but at least it wasn’t as concentrated as if she had stayed and refused to leave.

It really hadn’t been a good idea to have breakfast with her. It was way too dangerous and definitely too risky. He couldn’t understand how he had let go and let her bury her way into his emotions. She had been too close…and he’d nearly snapped at her.

Visions of what could have been flooded into his mind like a tidal wave as he leaned against the corridor outside class, breathing and sucking in more air.

Art had been difficult to concentrate in. Their unit was supposed to be drawings of people’s actions, yet all he could draw was an animal attacking a beautiful pale girl with dark piercing eyes, who stared with shock, her hands and mouth open with confusion. His teacher had glanced over, frowned, realised that Matt was watching and had scurried off to help another student. No one would ever come to help him, except Kristen, though he hoped that the situation before had put her off him for the moment at least.

Matt watched as all the other students filed into the yard, all taking the other exit to stay away from him. His lips curled up in the corners. Just because Kristen got into his soft spot didn’t mean she, or anyone else, was going to access it again. He had shut, locked and bolted that gate, throwing away the key. No one could ever get that close, never again.

It was sad really. He was going to be alone and he wished his future wasn’t planned out for him. He wished he could grow up a normal teenager, have a few lovers, get married, have kids, maybe have some fun at night with friends and family members.

No such luck.

He was a doomed teenager.

There was no point complaining about it though; he couldn’t change anything now. Matt moved slowly out into the yard of flowery smells and earthy grains. Only one jumped out at him, and that smell was coming from the other side of the yard. He cursed his nose for picking her out so quickly and hoped that she hadn’t noticed him yet.

Moving to an empty bench, he sat down and took out his drawing book, picking up his sharp pencil and flipping to another blank page. Closing his eyes, he breathed out before opening them slowly and moving his hand across the paper. He could always draw beter in a situation where someone wasn't looking over him every few minutes.

He should just not go to Art class. He was going to get an A anyway.

He didn’t realise what he was drawing until he’d finished: a beautiful common butterfly with a hand holding one of it’s fluttering wings between the thumb and forefinger. Matt frowned, trying to make sense of the picture, and came up blank. He was sure the butterfly represented Kristen, but the hand didn’t make much sense to him. Was she trapped by something, maybe?

His nose twitched and he snapped his head up, a growl running up towards his throat. He stopped abruptly when Laura hovered over him, eyebrows raised, hand on hip, acting as if she owned him. He sat up and glared at her, feeling the tickling in his throat again. “What?”

“Just thought I’d let you know, if you think Kristen is trying to ‘get together’ with you,” She physically emphasized the quotation marks with her fingers, “You’re wrong. She can do so much better than you and she has her eye on someone else. So if you think you’ve got a chance, you can think again.”

It took Matt all his will to keep his mouth shut about the situation a few hours ago. Laura didn’t know anything and was just trying to annoy him. Kristen definitely liked something about him, probably because he wouldn’t tell her hardly anything about his life. He was a mystery that she wanted to discover. If he did tell her then she would probably back off, which was all Matt wanted, but of course it wasn’t as simple as that.

He agreed that she could do better, and she would do better. Even if she wanted to be with him he wouldn’t allow it: it was too dangerous. Therefore, she could only ever do better than him and he was glad of that. He wished that she could find someone and move on quickly so that she would leave him alone for good instead of popping up every day.

Would she though? Even after she found a boy she liked, would she leave Matt alone or keep up with the investigation? He hoped that she would move away from him and leave him to die alone the way he was destined to. He definitely deserved that fate.

If Laura was right and she did have her eye on someone else, why, then, would she have acted the way she had this morning? It didn’t make sense, unless she moved on very quickly or just waited for any type of attention from a guy. Whoever he was, if he existed, he hoped that she would concentrate on him instead. He would be able to return back to his usual routine and look after everyone properly again without her being a stupid distraction.

Matt, realising that he’d zoned out, blinked and looked up at Laura, who smirked and flicked her hair. He frowned. “I don’t want her to like me.”

“Really? Sure about that?” She raised her eyebrows more and her forehead wrinkled into a ladder.

Matt glared at her and put his drawings away, shoving on his bag and standing up so he towered over her. She hesitated but held her ground. “Yes.” He answered positively. “I'm not interested in Kristen. She is interested in me. It’s not even your business.” He stepped forward and she stepped back automatically.

Then Kristen was at Laura’s side before Matt even noticed her approaching. His eyes darted to her and he swallowed, the image of what they were like a few hours ago flashing into his mind. She glanced at him and her eyes sparkled, holding his for a moment. Maybe she was thinking about it too?

Then she dropped her gaze and brushed her fingers against Laura’s sleeve, obviously dismissing whatever she was considering. “Laura, come on.”

“Kristen, tell him about Gareth.” Laura ordered smugly and folded her arms, pulling away from Kristen’s fingers.

Kristen’s expression turned blank. “Gareth?”

Laura glared at Kristen to the side of her then snapped back to face Matt, who rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets, holding his breath. “Yes. You know, Gareth? Brown hair, green eyes, ring any bells? You were talking to him all last lesson?”

Kristen swallowed and Matt was sure that she was embarrassed, though her face didn’t colour like he expected it to. “I know who you mean. I meant, what about Gareth? Why are you asking me?”

Matt smirked. “She was explaining that Gareth is your new crush.”

Kristen definitely was embarrassed now. She swallowed and looked from the floor to Matt’s face. “I wouldn’t say a crush exactly.”

Laura gasped and grabbed her friends arm, suddenly turning to her. “Of course it’s a crush! You’re sitting together at lunch! There’s definitely something blossoming.” She winked and then turned to Matt to give him a filthy look as Matt cocked his head to the side in slight boredom.

Kristen opened and shut her mouth, trying to think of the words she wished to say. Matt ran his fingers through his hair and breathed in, instantly choking on her smell that was as strong as ever. She watched him then swallowed. “No. We’re just sitting together, that’s all. No big thing.”

“Sure…” Laura pushed her friend’s arm and giggled. “Its so cute. You so like him.”

“I don’t.” Kristen shook her head and Matt raised his eyebrows.

Why was she so desperately wanting to deny it?

“Don’t you?” He asked and stared into her swimming eyes.

“Um…” She kept eye contact with a pleading look behind her pupils. She didn’t want Laura knowing about their moment before school. That was perfectly fine with him. He wouldn’t be happy if it was spread around school either. He wished that they could both forget about it so that he could return to his usual life of being ignored and intimidating and she could find someone who would be there to give her what she wanted.

Matt answered for her. “I need to go.”

Laura blinked at him and then narrowed her eyes. “Where are you planning on going?”

“Does it matter to you?” Matt grunted and pushed his chin up to stare down at Laura with a judging look.

“No.”

“Then why ask?” He rolled his eyes and turned his back on them, feeling their eyes against the back of his head. “So long as you both leave me alone, I don’t care who you hang out with or who you have a crush on.”

He moved away back into the corridor and breathed in a deep breath, Kristen’s smell still lingering in his nose. As he probably should have expected, the door opened a few moments afterwards and Kristen appeared, poisoning the air with her smell of fruit. She watched him leaning against the shelf and then joined him carefully, scooting gently to his side.

“Gareth isn’t anything special.” She said quietly.

Matt shrugged and studied his nails. “I don’t really care. It’s your life.”

“But…After this morning…”

“Kristen.” He breathed out, exasperated, and turned to her. “Forget anything happened this morning. It didn’t mean anything. You know it didn't mean anything.”

Kristen breathed out and blinked, her dark eyes wide with wonder and shock. “It did.”

“No. It didn’t. Not to me. And it shouldn’t to you.” He said, trying to make her realise how stupid an idea of him and her could possibly be. He didn't want to give her the wrong idea and, so far, being nice wasn't exactly doing him any favours.

Mind you, being horrible wasn't exactly helping either.

“Matt…Why did you want me to leave?” She dropped her gaze and her fingers brushed his wrist. He moved his arm away so it folded against his chest and ignored the question.

“Kristen, no matter what you think, we can never be that way. I told you this. I don't see why you keep going on about it. Why don't you just let it go?” He stared at her, trying to force her to understand the situation without telling her everything that was swimming around his mind.

“Why?” Her voice lowered and he swallowed, glancing at her now. “Why cant we?”

“We just cant. Trust me.” He looked away.

“Matt.” Her hand rose to touch his face but he dodged it and stepped away from her.

“Don’t. Please.” He blinked and her smell clung to his skin, wrapping around him like cling film.

“Why wont you try?” She whispered and her eyes were sad and watery.

“If only you knew the truth.” He murmured quietly, too quietly for her to process what he'd said.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He glanced down and bowed his head. “We just cant.”

“But you want to.” She said, hope slipping from her eyes as she stared at him.

He wasn’t sure whether to lie or not. In the end, he went with bypassing her comment. “I want to be normal. That, I will never be.”

“You nearly kissed me, Matt, you obviously wanted to.” Her eyes begged for confirmation.

“Hormones.” He replied simply and brushed it off.

“No. You wanted to. You still do. I can see it in your eyes.” Her hand rose to touch his face but he moved away, stepping backwards down the corridor.

“No. I don’t. I don’t want you. Go for Gareth. Go play happy families with him and Laura. Take Laura's advice.”

Kristen was quiet for a moment as if she was thinking about things he'd probably never think about. “You’re scared.” She murmured quietly after a few minutes.

“No.” He answered slightly too quickly. He winced at his tone of voice.

“You are.” She nodded to herself and stepped closer, causing him to step back, sliding along the shelf with his back. He felt the wall bend slightly. “I can see it. Why? Why are you scared of me?” Her eyes darted around his face and landed on his mouth.

Matt coughed. “I’m not scared of you.” He flexed his fingers that clung to his muscular arms, wishing that she’d leave it alone and just accept it. He really didn’t want to talk to her about his problems. She didn’t understand and he hoped that she wouldn’t ever understand.

“What are you scared of then?” Her fingers traced a design on the window shelf and gradually moved closer.

Matt watched out of the corner of his eye, making sure that she wasn’t going to touch him, before answering. “Myself.”

“You wont hurt me. You were fine this morning.”

Matt had to laugh. He rolled his eyes and watched as her face turned to confusion. “If you call nearly losing it fine.” He muttered.

She heard. “You weren’t losing it. You were fine. You just got worked up about it because it's new. It's different. It’s a risk and you’re scared because of it.”

“You don’t understand.” He murmured and turned his head away, tightening the fold of his arms. Why did she have to make it so difficult? Why couldn’t she just move on?!

“Help me understand.” She whispered. “I want to know why you’re so afraid to be near me.”

Matt was about to reply but he turned just in time to see her expression, dark and calculating, an expression he hadn’t seen her wear before. It startled him, paused him in his tracks.

She wasn’t looking at him now, but slightly to the floor, a dazed, thinking but frustrated look on her face, shading away her eyes. He was silent for only a second and she looked up to meet his gaze, shaking off the expression and plastering on a fake smile.

“Um…I'm not afraid.” He managed and recovered, trying to forget about the look she'd just had on her face, bringing up more questions than what he wanted to think about.

She moved her head slightly closer but her feet stayed in place. “You are. Have you heard something? Something about me?”

It was Matt’s turn to look confused. She searched his eyes thoroughly as if trying to make sure that he wasn’t lying. “Like what?”

“I don’t know.”

She obviously did. It was clouding her vision, her line of thought. What could possibly make him be afraid of her? He was the monster, not her. Whatever she was hiding from everyone, it wasn’t going to bother him in the slightest. He could never be afraid of a girl like Kristen. She was so breakable, too breakable.

Unless it linked in with that smoky misty stuff or when she just disappeared into thin air that night... Maybe.

No, he still wouldn’t be scared of her even if she was linked with that. What could a load of smoke do to him, a werewolf? He was only interested because it may be dangerous to the people, and, after the scream, he knew something had to be going on in the town. It was just too weird to class as a normal situation.

“I haven’t heard anything.” He said, emphasizing ‘heard’ because he did have his suspicions and maybe, just maybe, she would accidentally spill something that may help him figure out what the smoke stuff was. He could already see her thinking over her words before saying them aloud. Yes, she was definitely hiding something, and it wasn’t hard to guess that it linked in with the smoke.

“Well, whatever you hear, it’s a lie. All of it. Everything.” She said quickly, her eyes slightly fierce. “It's all made up.”

“What did you think I heard?” He asked, interested, suddenly not really caring that he couldn’t breathe. His arms loosened with his curiosity as he stared fully at her face to watch every single expression.

“Nothing. I just thought…” She blinked and shook her head as if shaking away the thoughts in her mind, forcing a smile. “Never mind. So it’s not because you’re afraid of me?”

He laughed quietly. “I’d never be afraid of you. What a stupid idea.”

“Well you never know. Sometimes I can come off as quite intimidating.” She winked and grinned at him, laughing. “You don’t know how strong I am.”

“I'm stronger.” He said truthfully and she pulled a tongue at him, pushing his shoulder. He forced himself to stay still as her hand lingered on his arm. Matt put his hands in his pockets to stop her getting more friendly, however. He hadn’t forgotten that easily.

“Bring it on, tough guy.” She winked and laughed, “You should be more like this.”

Matt shrugged and glanced into her fluttering eyes. “You know I don’t like being close to people.”

“You’re getting better though.” She stroked his arm and stepped forward. Matt shook his head and closed his eyes.

“Kristen don’t. Not again.” He opened his eyes and she looked into his face carefully.

“Just try. One kiss. That’s all. It’s my risk, right?” She smiled at him and stepped closer.

Matt shook his head. She was crazy. Drunk on a crush. It wasn’t going to end pretty. “No way. I'm not risking anything, especially not just for curiousity. That's insane.”

“Why?” She complained like a spoilt child. He could almost imagine her stamping her foot in a huff. “You know you’d like it.” She stroked his cheek and left a trail of coldness across his skin. He shivered and she smiled. “Think about it, Matt. You’re scared now but afterwards, if it goes well, you can relax more.” She whispered the last bit and stepped onto her toes to see more into his face. “Just one little bit of contact and it's over.” Her finger danced gently over the corner of his lips.

“Kristen.” He blinked and bowed his head. She was teasing him and it wasn’t fair. If she knew what he was and what he was going through she wouldn’t even dream of coming near. She would run and never touch him again and it was for the best that she did just that.

“Please. It’s my risk. You wont hurt me.”

Matt scrunched up his face and bowed his head more away from her, holding his breath. “Kristen. Don’t make me.”

She touched his cheek and turned his head. “I wont need to make you. I can see it. You want it. Your eyes are like diamonds.” Kristen moved her head closer. “Close them.”

Matt took a breath and stared at her. Did he want to risk it? He wasn’t sure. He was risking a lot. He shouldn’t. Not really.

Yet, his eyes started to flutter closed and he could see her smile as she leaned forward…

The bell went.

Matt pushed from the wall quickly in the shock and ended up being half a corridor away from her in just a leap. Kristen jumped too then looked around in confusion, wondering how he had moved so quickly to where he was now, no doubt. People began coming through the door in between them and Matt was glad of it. He subtly slipped away into the crowds, leaving a flustered confused girl behind him.

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What do you think eh? Is he finally going to let her in after all this time?

How did you like the almost kiss? ;)

I don't feel that great at the moment but I'll probably update a few times tonight so keep in touch!