Chapter 12 - On the Look Out

Morning came in a blur. Matt stretched himself off of the sofa and literally crawled into his clothes for school. His head was throbbing and his eyes hurt with the lack of sleep but he would cope for now.

It wasn't as if he'd never done it before.

He needed to keep an eye open from now on. That meant full alert, longer shifts out at night, watching everyone and anyone who looked suspicious. He had to figure out what was going on before things began to go out of control.

Though it was arguable whether that had already happened.

Nothing seemed much different than before the information he’d picked up on last night. As he exited his house, he scanned the neighbourhood. Everyone still did their daily routine and acted fine around each other. They seemed oblivious to what was occurring. Though, Matt knew that most of them never watched the news and, if they did, they only half listened. No one cared about what happened to the world unless it directly affected them.

Selfish people.

He couldn’t pin point anything that may have caused concern so he removed his focus and began to walk to college.

Matt moved down the roads slower than normal, checking out every person who may look like some kind of murder or someone who acting suspiciously. Out of all of them, he probably seemed the most suspicious out of everyone. No one was paying a blind bit of notice to him.

Some women went past with their kids and pulled them to their legs by their hands as they passed Matt, looking at him with the same suspicious weary eyes that probably reflected his own but not bothering to stop, shuffling their kids forwards quickly in the opposite direction. It was expected, of course. If you glared at people for a certain amount of time they ended up becoming paranoid or weary, especially if you were a teen like Matt was, and a big one at that.

No doubt he looked pretty intimidating and dangerous right now.

Nothing was out of the ordinary so it was difficult to spot anything strange, except the weird glances people gave him once they came within a yard of him after being stared at for about 5 seconds each.

For some reason he reached the school quicker than he thought and he had to wait around a bit as he was five minutes before the bell. He dumped his bag on the ledge of the window inside the corridor and leaned against the wall, sighing with boredom.

He didn’t want to be doing nothing. Doing nothing meant having to think about things to do. He didn’t want to think about anything because his head pounded quite painfully. That, and he was tired. If he stood still long enough he would end up falling asleep. Therefore, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, forcing himself to open his eyes whenever they closed drowsily.

“Tired?”

Matt jumped and then coughed as he took a lung full of raspberries. He turned his back to her and breathed in roughly, his eyes watering slightly at the corners.

“Oh god, I'm sorry. Are you okay?” She touched his arm but he waved her off and covered his mouth with his hands. She stood there patiently as he got over the stink and then watched him as he straightened up and looked at her. “Are you alright?”

“Fine.” Matt muttered and blinked his eyes quickly, trying to focus.

Well at least that woke him up a bit. There was no way he was going to go to sleep now. He forced his eyes to focus as Kristen's face loomed into view, probably closer than he would have liked.

She cocked her head to the side, a slight smile on her lips. “You look rough.”

“Could say that.” He murmured under his breath and looked at the ceiling, sighing. He didn't want to deal with her today. He never wanted to deal with her. She was a pain in the backside, an itch he couldn't get rid of, a flee that wouldn't leave him alone.

“Can I help you? Maybe take you to the nurse…?” She reached her hand towards him then paused when he flinched.

“No.” He answered and glared at her. “I'm fine. What do you want?”

Kristen stepped back a second, as if surprised by Matt’s attitude towards her. He wasn't sure why. He was usually quite rude to her anyway. Did she think that something had changed between them? “Nothing. I just wondered what was wrong. You don’t look yourself.”

“Im not.” He answered simply and rolled his eyes away from her, folding his arms in front of his chest.

Kristen bit her lip and ran her fingers through her hair. “What’s up?”

He tried to ignore the one strand of hair that escaped from behind her ear, hanging down the side of her face and along her jaw line. Why couldn't she just tuck it all back instead of making him want to do it for her?

“None of your concern. Go away. You’re starting to bug me.” Matt dismissed her quickly and turned his head in the opposite direction so that he could look down the corridor.

“Wasn’t I already bugging you? I was just being nice.” Kristen lowered her voice and Matt turned his head to watch her from the corner of his eye as she looked down at the floor.

He swallowed carefully. “Yeah well. I don’t need sympathy.”

“You cant always be tough Matt.” She murmured and looked up through her eyelashes with pitch black eyes that shined back at him, drinking in his thoughts.

He shook his head to remove the eye contact. “Watch me.” He licked his lips as if sealing them and then continued to glare at her.

“You’re tired. You should have stayed off.” She said and folded her arms too, after adjusting her short skirt, which Matt tried not to look at.

Did all of the girls wear their skirts that short? Did every girl have such perfect slender legs like Kristen? They looked like silk, pale and smooth, running down into boots that cut off at her knees. The temptation to touch them, to see if they really were that perfect, ate at his thoughts more than he liked.

Matt shrugged. “Cant.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want stay at home.” He grumbled and glanced away from her out of the window, up at the sky, at the clouds, trying to distract himself for once. He didn't want to think of her or his home. He suddenly didn't want to think of anything. He didn't even want to be in college. He was fed up of the classes and the people and he felt too mature to be even taking his course.

Kristen was quiet for a moment and then moved to lean next to the wall beside him. He moved a step away but she pretended not to notice. “Don’t you like your parents?”

Matt closed his eyes and breathed out, memories flooding back into his mind. He winced and when he opened his eyes he couldn’t help but show his pain. “They’re dead.”

“Oh.”

She was quiet.

She’d already been told that his parents were dead but she obviously hadn’t paid much attention and now his head really throbbed. He winced again and closed his eyes, swallowing back the memories and drying his tears before they met his eyes with memories of his past life.

She didn’t know when to stop. Some day he was going to snap and that would be when he lost control and hurt her. He didnt want to hurt her or anyone, especially her. He didnt deserve to have her kindness but she kept giving it, forcing him to take notice of her. He definitely didn't want to be in college. He wanted to be back with Aimee in the garden, or at least with his thoughts of Aimee by himself in his room.

Kristen stayed silent but moved slightly closer to him and looked up into his face. Then she tugged his jumper gently to show her affection, pulling on the bottom of it with her fingers. “Im sorry.”

Matt shook his head and pulled away, not wanting to look at her. He didnt want to share anything with her. “Sympathy. I don’t need it.”

“I wish I could show you how sorry I am but you’d probably push me off.” She murmured quietly and looked away, touching the wall where his arm had been with her fingers.

Matt blinked slowly and then looked away, picking up his bag. He had to get out of there and fact. “We need to get to class.”

“Alright.” She picked up her own bag which she’d dropped on the floor and looked up at Matt’s face. “I am sorry.”

“Forget it.” He moved away from her down the corridor and heard her sigh behind him as she slowly followed.

*          *          *

Classes bored Matt today. He wished the day went quicker. He said he didn’t want to be at home but really, he couldn’t wait to leave. He wished there was something more exciting to do in the town which he could happily do on his own. Even then he could probably drag Kristen with him, if only to make her stop bugging him so much. Skipping class seemed like a really good idea for once.

He just wanted to sleep. English was a great time for that. They were watching a film again on some kind of play and Matt, too tired to take any of it in, decided it would be easier not to try at all. He put his head lightly on the desk and closed his eyes. It wasn’t as if the teacher was going to say anything to him. He didn’t care about his grades and the teacher knew it. It was his own fault if he failed, though he could always try again if he desperately wanted to. He didn't care if he went to University.

Surprisingly, Kristen never said another word to him for most of the day. Sure he was in her classes, she sat next to him sometimes and stuff, but she didn’t once spring up a conversation like normal and she never once tried to touch him. Maybe she was getting the idea at last. It was a good thing so Matt ignored the coldness on his arms and tried to focus on the lessons as much as he could, if he wasn't already sleeping through them.

It was lunch, with one lesson left, and Matt, as usual, stacked up his plates, ordering more than usual, as his stomach rumbled badly. He stuffed down as much as he could and then decided to get more, anything the dinner ladies offered him. He was so hungry it made him feel sick. He glugged down water and swallowed roughly in the effort to retrieve a second helping.

Kristen and Laura, as usual, sat on their normal table, surrounded by everyone who thought they were someone. Gareth, as expected, sat next to Kristen with his arm around her back, sat almost on her lap. He was laughing loudly and glancing at Kristen, who was smiling and looking back at him nervously.

He couldn’t focus on them long. The table beside him was talking quite loudly and it distracted him. He shovelled in more food as he glanced at the so called table. A girl, Fern, two lads, Kirk and Harry, and another girl, Christine, sat as a four, leaning over and gossiping about something or other. However, seeing as Matt’s hearing was stronger than everyone else’s, he heard it pretty clearly, whether he wanted to or not.

“Did you hear?” Fern whispered loudly to the other three, “The new girl and Gareth?”

“Yeah!” Christie exclaimed excitedly in whispers. “I know! I mean, she’s pulled. They’re going out aren’t they?”

Harry nodded and indicated them to move in closer. Matt stopped chewing to listen, not like he couldn't hear them clearly enough already. “Yeah. He asked her last night or something apparently. He was talking to me about it. He was so nervous. I mean, come on, she’s pretty hot, isn’t she? She's way prettier than some of the people in this school. He didn’t think he had a chance but obviously she liked him back so…”

Christie giggled. “Yeah. I mean he wasn’t very sure, seeing as she seemed to be getting along pretty well with…”

The table went quiet and Matt quickly stuffed his face with more meat and dropped his eyes to his plate.

“I know. To be honest, I don’t see why she bothers to talk to him. He’s not interested in anyone, too good for everyone in this school. Im glad she’s moved on to Gareth. Matt,” Fern whispered his name, “is a waste of space. No one likes him and he wont let anyone close. He’s too violent anyway. Stepping within a one metre radius is riskng your life. Who would want to be with someone like that?”

“Who knows? But yeah. Well, Kristen and Gareth have already set a date. They sorted it all last night. He was telling me everything. He wanted her so badly.” Harry said.

“Where to? When?” Christie asked, interested. Matt pricked his ears up, also half interested, though he'd never admit it.

“Tonight at the cinema.” Kirk chipped in.

“It was her choice. Gareth just wants to have a chance at being all couple-like with her to see how far she lets him go on the first date.” Harry chuckled darkly. "She's new, she's different. Who knows what kind of girl she is. She might even encourage it!"

Matt growled under his breath and gulped down more water, his lips on the brink of curling. He glanced up at Kristen’s table and breathed out deeply, trying to control himself. He was already starting to shake and he couldn’t change, not in front of everyone.

Gareth and Kristen were sitting closely together and Matt could see Gareth’s hand on Kristen’s knee. He growled and then closed his eyes and shook his head. She was allowed to get someone, yet he knew that Gareth wasn’t right for her. He was bad, especially since he’d been telling his friends that he was only with Kristen to test his limitations with her.

He was using her for his own benefit, not because he actually liked her.

He couldn’t sit there and watch Kristen make a mistake. He stood up and dumped his tray on the side, ignoring the silences that radiated off the tables around him as he moved past. Even Kristen looked up as he walked across the canteen. They locked eyes for a moment, and then Matt looked away and moved towards the door. He couldn’t go over there. If he did he would surely attack Gareth and he didn’t want to expose himself.

It wasn't worth it.

Holding his breath, Matt folded his arms tightly across his chest and moved out of the room, his hands into fists. He couldn’t stand it. It wasn’t right. Gareth was the wrong guy for her and that wasn’t because he ‘felt’ something for her. He only wanted her safety and happiness and he knew that she wouldn’t be happy and safe with this Gareth. Gareth was bad news. She had to stay away from him.

The bell went and Matt quickly moved to class. History. He was close to Kristen on that lesson. He had to make her see sense, that it was the wrong decision to be with him. She had to understand what he felt without him actually saying why.

Matt stepped into the classroom and sat down at the back in his usual seat. His chair bent as he lowered himself and it groaned under his weight. He slapped his books onto the table, making a smacking noise, and then waited in silence, pondering on what he was going to do when Kristen came into the room.

He didn’t need to wait long. Kristen came in, pulling her bag with her, and stopped when she noticed that Matt was the only one in the classroom. She looked around the room and then slowly sat down, putting her bag under her table and avoiding eye contact with Matt.

For once, he started the conversation, swallowing. “Hi.”

Kristen blinked and widened her eyes, turning to look at Matt. He ignored the swish of her perfect hair as it fell against her bare shoulder, only covered by a strapped top. “Oh. Hello. In the mood to talk to me  then?”

Matt shrugged, “Could say that.” He clicked his knuckles to stop his hands turning to fists and Kristen glanced up at him and then down at his hands.

“Well, what’s wrong?”

“I heard you and Gareth are together.” He murmured as more people began to come in, taking their seats before the class started.

Kristen swallowed and then nodded. “I was going to tell you but I thought you weren’t interested.”

“Im not.”

“Then why ask?” She looked up and searched his eyes. He searched her face, her flawless white skin and dark lips, her black eyes and beautiful features.

“He’s not good for you.”

“Excuse me?” Her eyes hardened and her mouth turned into a straight line. It was obviously not what she was expecting and Matt stared at her with wonder. She ignored his expression. “Last time I noticed, you weren’t interested in me. Why do you care if he’s good for me or not? Ill make that decision.”

Matt sighed and put his head in his hands, shaking his head. This was what he didn’t want her to ask. He didn’t know the answer to her question. He could only guess what the answer was. “He’s going to hurt you.”

“You care, why?” She moved closer and blinked at him, raising her eyebrow questioningly. Her breath covered his own.

He glared at her. “I don’t want him to.”

“But why? You said you didn’t like me like that…” Her eyes widened and she watched as his eyes turned into shock and then confusion and then back into the hard mask from before.

“I don’t. I just don’t get why you like him.”

She watched his features carefully but he gave nothing away. He wasn't going to tell her that he'd overheard the table next to him. It was hard enough hearing someone beside you in the canteen, never mind someone a few feet away. “I just do. There's something about him…” She trailed off.

“He’s not good for you, Kristen.” He breathed, glancing to the front as the teacher came in, shuffling papers.

“Ill decide that. How is he bad?”

Matt shook his head.

He heard her sigh. “I don’t understand you, Matt. You tell me to get lost and now you’re warning me. What exactly is Gareth going to do?” She placed her hand on the table and looked into Matt’s eyes, probing. He avoided them and just watched her fingers.

“You shouldn’t be my friend.” he looked up at her, begging for her to understand. “I’ve treated you badly but for your own good. Trust me on this. Gareth isn’t good.”

“Why cant I be your friend? Maybe I don’t want what’s best for me. Maybe Gareth is good for me. You don’t know him like I do.” She began to whisper as class began. The teacher ignored them both, as he expected them to do.

Matt closed his eyes and listened as her hand moved closer to his. He held his breath and hoped that, maybe if he was nice to her, she would listen to him. His fingers touched hers and she waited for him to move, to jerk away and go all cold. He didn’t. Instead, he opened his eyes and pledingly looked at her, a look that must have shocked her, as her mouth opened slightly, as he murmured, “I want what’s best for you. I want you safe. You don’t understand but please trust me on this. Gareth is just trying to take advantage. You need someone else.”

“Who, Matt? Who is good for me? You?” She raised her eyebrows more and nudged his finger with hers. He forced himself still and looked right into her eyes, not nudging back but not moving away either. “No. Someone, anyone else. Gareth just isn’t the right guy for you.”

Kristen sighed. “There isn’t a right guy for me, Matt. No boy is perfect-”

Got that right, Matt thought.

“-and sometimes you need to go for the next best thing. Im sorry you don’t agree but it’s my decision. I can make all the mistakes I want.”

“Anyone else, Kristen, please.” He whispered and breathed in, sucking raspberries into his lungs.

“Who would be good for me, Matt? Tell me that. The boy who caught my eye brushed me off because he’s not interested. Now, because Im trying to move on, he’s back, messing with my head.” She trailed off into a silent whisper and looked down at their hands.

“Im sorry.” He murmured and sucked in another breath as she ran her cool fingers over his hot skin. “I know it's confusing…”

“Why cant you just accept that we may be good together? It would explain why you’re so worried about me now, why we act the way we do, how we always seem drawn to each other.”

Matt shook his head and began to pull his hand away. She quickly grasped it with her fingers and froze, her nails pressing into his palm. “Please don’t. Don't move away from me.” She whispered.

He slackened and sighed, narrowing his eyes in concentration. It was so hard, especially as she wasn’t doing him any favours. They shouldn’t have been acting the way they were. He shouldn’t have let her hold his hand, or at least touch it. He was risking everything and it was wrong. They wouldn’t be right together. He didn’t want to give her the wrong signals but it was his only chance to stop Gareth and his plan going into action.

She couldn’t be hurt.

He wouldn't allow it.

Kristen moved her fingers over his thick hot skin and touched his palm, avoiding eye contact so that he wouldn’t move away, not like he was going to anyway, no matter how much his head screamed at him. “See, this would be so much easier if you just admitted it.”

“Admitted what? I'm trying to stop you seeing Gareth.” He turned his hand over and she scanned his fingers and then moved up to his wrist. He closed his eyes and tried to enjoy it but she was so cold against him that it stung and his thoughts were all fighting against him, not helping him think.

It was too risky. He had to stop.

“Only because you don’t want me to be with anyone else.”

“No, because he’s bad.” Matt whispered under his breath as he looked towards the front of the room, not really taking anything in.

“Okay, he’s bad. Whatever. What are you going to do if I still go out with him?”

“Then you’re stupid and you’re going to get hurt.” His fingers clenched before he realised it and he squeezed her fingers harder than he thought. She sucked in a tight breath and he quickly released her, moving his hand away quickly. “Did I hurt you?”

“No.” She answered quickly and took his hand again, moving it just below the table and closer to her, hidden from everyone's view but their own. “Im fine.”

“Promise me you wont see him.” He said and looked seriously at her, trying to ignore the heat in his neck.

She was quiet for a moment and then looked up. “Only if you kiss me.”

Matt groaned and sat back, a few people turning around to look at him as he did so. She had to ruin it, just as he was getting through to her. “No.”

“Why?” She pulled his hand closer and cupped it with both of hers, bringing it so it was only a few centimetres away from her thigh.

He tried to swallow but it was difficult. He was so close to her smooth tempting legs and it took all of his will power not to skim his little finger along her skin.“I cant.” He said, talking to both himself and Kristen.

“Why?”

“I just cant.”

“But why?” She thankfully pulled their hands away from her crossed legs and brought them up so she could rest her head against them and he gulped, refusing the urge to pull away instinctively. Instead he shook his head.

“I cant. Please don’t make it any more difficult.” He scrunched his eyes up and tried to slow his heart beat when something soft touched the tips of his fingers. “Kristen don’t. We’re in a classroom. People will see.” He breathed huskily.

“After class?” She smiled at him when he opened his eyes and squeezed his hand gently.

Matt shook his head but his heart raced. It wasn’t good for that to happen. He could feel the tremors in his legs and that always meant he was changing. He pulled his hand back a bit but she held on.

“Please Matt. I like it.” She said and looked hopefully at him, stroking the creases on the palms of his hands.

He breathed out and tried to stable himself, but with Kristen being so close and her smell giving him such a headache, it was very difficult to do so. He lowered his head and flexed his fingers. “Can you give me a minute?”

Kristen watched him for a moment and then slowly let his hand go, searching the expression on his face.

Matt sat back and breathed heavily, trying to calm his heart down. It was so difficult for him, more difficult than she knew. He was fighting a battle within him and this definitely wasn’t the place to start changing.

After a few minutes, Matt closed his eyes and sighed, trying to think of something boring as he leaned forward again.

“Are you okay?” Kristen murmured and glanced towards the front where the teacher still talked, staring blindly at the other side of the room, still paying no attention to Matt or herself.

Matt shook his head. “I cant be with you. It too risky. Just don’t be with Gareth.”

Kristen’s expression suddenly hardened. She sat up straighter and glared at him. “I cant be single forever, Matt. Either it's you or him. Im giving you a choice here. You know what I want.”

Matt blew out and grunted. “Well I cant be with you.”

Kristen was frozen for a moment and then she glared harshly, the worst look she’d ever given him. “Fine. Well Im going out with Gareth then, whether you like it or not.” She turned away from him and Matt groaned, scrunching his fists up into balls and placing them roughly on his lap.

The rest of the lesson went in silence. Matt glared at the teacher and refused to look at Kristen, who was doing exactly the same. He didn’t want to discuss it anymore. It was pointless trying to convince her that Gareth was wrong for her and she was only going to learn when it all went wrong.

The bell went and Matt packed up his stuff, pulling on his bag and shuffling it into place. Kristen did the same and then finally she looked at him. Her eyes searched his face and she looked as if she wanted to say something.

Matt beat her to it.

“You know there have been loads of disappearances of people over the past few days.”

Kristen seemed to choke on her own tongue and her eyes rolled with astonishment. “I…”

“Apparently there are rumours going round that they’ve been murdered but there’s been no bodies found to date.” Matt watched as her expression changed and she tried desperately to stop it doing so. He smirked and continued to watch her.

This was what he wanted to see. She knew about it. She knew something about these murders. That’s what she was hiding. Maybe if he quizzed her enough she would tell him what she was hiding. Maybe, if being nice to her made her soft, she would spill to him accidentally and he could fix all of these problems surrounding him.

Kristen swallowed and controlled herself, but only just. “Really? Who said that?”

Matt shrugged vaguely. “People. Most people know about it but are keeping it on the down low because they don’t want to worry people.”

Kristen looked embarrassed and she looked at her feet. “I see.”

“Didn’t you hear about it?”

Kristen shook her head and Matt grinned.

“Well they think they have a lead…”

“What?” She asked, startled.

Matt looked at her and raised his eyebrows. “That’s why Im worrying about you. Gareth is bad. You’re going out at night. It's dangerous.” He congratulated himself on the half lie he told. It seemed to fit pretty well, really.

Kristen looked at him for a moment and seemed to consider his answer. He watched her and waited for her reply. She took a minute to think of something and, when she did, her face was composed. “Thanks for the concern but I’ll be fine. I normally am.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” He probed and smirked slowly. He could see her brain going into overdrive and considering her words carefully. He tried to solve what she was thinking but it was difficult to tell.

“Don’t worry about me. Me and Gareth will be safe. I have to go.” She adjusted her school bag then whipped around so her back was facing Matt.

He chuckled. “Have fun at the cinema. I did warn you.” He gave her a grin when she turned around again and she paused for a moment frowning, little lines appearing in between her eyebrows, before moving out of the classroom.

For once it was her who left first and not him. That was the bright side of having another boy involved. It meant that she wasn’t constantly after him otherwise it would look dodgy.

----------------------------

What do you think is going to happen? Do you think Gareth is going to attack her?

I love the little touches these guys have. It's quite sweet what little things can mean so much!

I have a mock exam tomorrow so wish me luck! :D

Happy reading! <3