Chapter Four - You're Back

Capernoited:

(adj.) Peevish; tipsy or slightly intoxicated.

Chapter Four – You're Back

----------

It took too long to get home, almost two hours from Evan Knight's house to mine. And I still question why I had decided to walk through the most horrific streets of Oklahoma. Somehow I don't feel uncomfortable as the eyes of the other people follow me around and I couldn't care less about my expensive shoes that were getting dirty.

The boy had called me the day after and I immediately took action on it, but still two days later I feel like shit.

And now that I am home I feel even more lost than before. The nagging feeling of three nights before slowly crawls back to me and I feel nauseous as I walk into my bedroom. I peel off my suit, get myself in some comfy pajama's and walk back downstairs to make myself something to eat. It doesn't even occur to me that it's already past seven as I slowly fall asleep on the couch, but I soon get woken up roughly.

'Why the hell didn't you pick your phone up?' Charlotte asks me with tears streaming down her face and I blink away my shock as I see her standing in front of me.

'What, why?' Somewhere I do know why, but the sleeping frog is still covering my senses.

'You told me you would pick me up, Alexander. I was standing there looking like a fool in front of those people, because you weren't there!'

Immediately I stand up to pull her into my arms, but she roughly shoves me away.

'I am so very sorry Charlotte, I have been crazy busy and Grace was keeping me at the office. I tried to call you, but I left my phone at home,' that was a lie. I almost shocked myself as the lie comes out so easy. I never lie to Charlotte, at least about nothing more than me eating all the cookies. And now it flows out of me so easily and I am ashamed to admit that I feel proud when I see her soften. Though she doesn't seem to let it go.

'Then still! Alexander you said you would be there, Jared must think you're an idiot now!' I immediately felt confused as she starts talking about Jared, what did that idiot have to do with it?

'So this is about your reputation? You don't give a shit about me not picking you up, you would have walked if it wasn't for that idiot!' Charlotte gasps as the words escape my mouth and I can't help but get even more angry over her childish behavior.

'You know just as well as I do that you will go down the drain if you keep acting like this! That people accepted it when you were younger, fine, but in this community you won't survive this way.' I am ready to throw the furniture through the room, pull the hair from my head and knock some sense in her, figural.

'Then maybe that's wrong! Don't you think it is crazy that I don't get to live how I want, because others will judge me. I know that I was wrong forgetting it, Char, but you shouldn't bring this up!' She knows just how to push my buttons, what she has to say to make me go mad.

'If you don't like it why won't you move to another state then!?' Never had Charlotte really screamed at me before and never had I really scolded at or around her. So as the words leave her mouth I can't help but feel utterly astonished and hurt.

I don't answer her, I don't look her in the eyes, I simply let a puff of air escape my lips as my final control fades from my body. I turn around and just walk towards the stairs as Charlotte's screams follow me, her voice pleading me to stay yet telling me to go.

I change in some comfortable, but OK looking clothes, before making my way downstairs again. As I walk into my study I get the package of cigarettes and put it in my pocket, along with my wallet and keys. Within the span of not more than five minutes I'm completely dressed and ready to go and not even Charlotte can stop me.

With confident strikes I walk through the door and for a second I let my emotionless facade fall as I see the tears streaming down Charlotte's cheeks, but the other part of me screams for me to walk on. Turning my head seems to give me back some control and as I walk out of the fence I stare at the car in front of me. I don't think it's a good idea to take this with me.

Without taking a second to look back at the house, where Charlotte's probably still standing in the door opening, I walk away. I know that her standing there is a big thing, because people here will see and words spread like fire. Not only will people be mad at me for leaving her alone in a state like this, they will also be ready to take actions to take me down. Never before had I hated it so much to live in a community like this, where being yourself simply wasn't accepted.

When you come to live here you get a set of rules that include living like the people think is good. They believe that no matter how bad you feel, as long as you follow the rules everything will be alright.

It is absolutely crazy how mean people can get and even weirder is how we, the ones that aren't the 'founding fathers', go along with it. We so badly want to be accepted that we put everything on the line, but never our reputation. It's as if the most important thing here is being successful in life and happiness isn't necessarily a part of that. My parents are extremely conservative, believing that everything goes to how God wants it to go. Charlotte's parents are no different, they seem even worse than mine. And somehow there's still this little defiant person behind this facade they are forced to put on. My dad, for example, used to skip the every Sunday to church once a month and when you asked him why he simply told me that God could wait this little longer. And in the beginning people had punished him for it, ignored him for weeks as he came into the church the Sunday after that. But after a while they began to accept it, meaning that somewhere in their rules there must be this small exception.

Somewhere along the road I had gotten lost in thought, so much that I didn't notice where I was going. And when I look around I recognize the street, the people and the smell. I am close to where little Evan Knight lives. I want to turn around and walk back again, but the bright lights on the other side of the road lure me in. There's a little café with windows that look like they haven't been cleaned for years and the cracks in the walls make it look like the building will crumble down. Nonetheless, the promise of some burning liquor makes me walk straight in and I smile at the screeching noise of the old, wooden doors.

As soon as the door closes behind me it falls still and all the people look at me, their eyes fixated on my fancy clothes. To my surprise it only lasts a second as a woman smiles sweetly at me. 'Welcome at Brother's, you seem in need of something to drink,' she speaks softly. It surprises me how everyone looks at her with the utter most admiration and I can't help but return a smile.

'You don't know half, ma'am.' My answer seems all the reassurance the people need, because they smile at me before continuing their previous conversations. The old, little lady hooks her arm in mine and drags me along, but she almost has to hold her arms above her head as she is too small to stand straight.

'My name is Cindy and you can sit right here while I poor in something to drink for you.' The lady, whom I now know is called Cindy, pushes me onto one of the bar chairs and toddles behind the bar.

She reaches for a bottle of whiskey and pours a whole glass for me, making my eyes pop. How does she think I will drink that. And she's either oblivious to my expression, or she just ignores it because she puts the glass down in front of me and gives me a cheeky wink.

'This one's on me,' she whispers sweetly before walking off to help the others.

I just stare at the clear substance for a while and without putting much thought into it I take one big gulp. The alcohol burns my throat, but I just swallow past the uncomfortable feeling.

And this is how the next half an hour goes on, with me staring into the bar looking at other people while taking swigs of my drink. And I am almost upset when my people judgment gets interrupted by a voice besides me. Though I recognize it immediately and let a small smile appear as his sweet voice reaches my ears.

'I heard there was a new one in our local bar, didn't expect to see you here.' He ends his sentence with a giggle and I feel relief as he doesn't call me sir Donahew for now.

'Words spread like fire,' I answer as I look into his direction and he seems almost content with my answer. He points to the empty chair besides me in a silent question and I give him a small nod for an answer. Evan immediately sits himself on the chair and I can't help but admire his appearance.

'HEY! Little one how are you?' A big guy asks as he stands next to Evan to order something to drink.

'Good evening to you too! I am doing absolutely terrific,' he answer with a smile and the man gives him a shake of his head.

'Such a comedian you are and who is the man sitting next to you?' He asks and I look around confused to see who he's talking about.

'This here is a... friend of mine Alexander,' he says confidently and I chuckle as I realize that he's talking about me. Yup I definitely have consumed too much liquor already.

'Well good to meet you Alexander, take care.' The guy says and I raise my glass as a thank you. Immediately Evan turns to me and gives me thumbs up.

'If Bear approves then you must be a good guy,' Evan says and I can't help but pull my eyebrows up.

'Were you in doubt of that Evan?' He smiles sweetly before shaking his head.

'Not a doubt in my mind.'

----------

A/N: Please leave behind a comment or a vote?'

Words: 1843

~Noortje